- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
January 2016 Moms
Myelhsa
member
Dear Diary...
Myelhsa
member
Every baby checklist I've seen says to keep a journal to remember your experience. I don't know about any of you ladies, but besides the fantastic moment when I found out I was gonna be a mommy, this trimester has been nothing to blog about.
So I figured we could try to start a funny thread called "Dear Diary... (Confessions of a First-Trimester Mama) to see some of those funny/relatable things that would be in your baby journal.
I'll Start:
Week 10, Day 3
Dear Diary,
Today baby decided s/he does not like the perfume I've been wearing for the past 3 years. Please excuse me while I go dry heave in a corner and attempt to hose myself down.
Sincerely,
I don't even like Prunes
So I figured we could try to start a funny thread called "Dear Diary... (Confessions of a First-Trimester Mama) to see some of those funny/relatable things that would be in your baby journal.
I'll Start:
Week 10, Day 3
Dear Diary,
Today baby decided s/he does not like the perfume I've been wearing for the past 3 years. Please excuse me while I go dry heave in a corner and attempt to hose myself down.
Sincerely,
I don't even like Prunes
Re: Dear Diary...
Dear diary,
The smell of farts makes me gag including my own.
I had a dream I was held hostage by Bruce the shark from finding nemo
Dear diary,
I have morning sickness. Again. I know I said that yesterday... and the day before. But this is in no way becoming a casual every day tea party with me and the toilet. No, it's kind of been a violent relationship. I'm considering breaking up, but I just don't know if I have enough control in the relationship to do that right now. Until tomorrow.
I won't let my SO dog come near me because she ate two baby chickens yesterday. I'm in an argument with a dog and I'm starting to feel silly about it.
DS1 2010
DS2 2013
DD1 2016
I am so sick I can't get off the couch today. I feel like a horrible mom because I can not chase baby 1 around today! I turned the slide on its side to block her in the living room, so I can just lay here. Ugh, 12 weeks can not come soon enough.
I am very confused. One moment I'm starving and the next I can't even stomach the thought of food. What gives? Plus- everything everybody does and says is annoying. Also, as I am a teacher and FTM, I have few summer responsibilities. As in.... I am the laziest person ever. Hello Netflix!
(OMG @Snoopylovesbelle I busted out laughing at yours. Farts are so funny.)
Dear Diary,
Today I went grocery shopping and bought all sort of unhealthy things... Pizza pops, curly fries, chips, fudgesicles, bagels, frozen pizza. And now, I want to eat all of them for lunch! I am such a glutton!
9 weeks, 5 days.
3 days into my new job and all is well. Everything is going well besides having to contain myself as I cannot tell them that I am pregnant as yet.
God, give me strength to not puke in front of my new manager.
PG #2- Healthy baby girl 10/2012
PG #3- MC 03/2014
PG #4- CP 02/2015
PG #5- Rainbow baby due 1/23/16
Today I ate three breakfasts. I'm probably going to have two dinners.
(Ps... Thank you for this forum, first time I've posted anything anywhere, and I'm incredibly grateful for something light hearted!).
I've been walking around with bad breath today because I couldn't finish brushing my teeth this morning. After the fourth attempt, and fourth time gagging, I just couldn't do it. So, peppermint gum it is...
Oh, and my cute, fitted workout top is not looking so cute today with this blump I'm sporting.
Dear Diary,
Today I whined until my husband went and got me a pizza from pizza hut. When I finally got to eat I started to cry. My concerned husband immediately asks "what's wrong?!" all I could muster up was "this pizza is the most delicious thing I've ate all week!" So thank you, hormones, for making me act l like a deranged crazy woman!
This pregnancy gas is disgusting. I'm headed to the OB for my first ultrasound and pray to God that it isn't an internal one for fear of farting in the ultrasound tech's face.
Dear diary,
I never believed in pregnancy brain until yesterday. I always thought it was just an excuse. But there I was yesterday trying to eat at my favorite burrito place (fail... Couldn't choke it down) when I get a text message from a coworker asking if I was still coming in... I casually asked her "coming where?". Then I frantically checked my work schedule and it turns out I was scheduled to work at 4 yesterday... She texted me at 4:15. Needless to say I raced home and put on my uniform and headed to work. I can't believe I almost missed work. In all my years of having a job, I have NEVER even come close to forgetting to show up to a shift. Luckily no one was mad and I was only 30 minutes late. But I had plans for yesterday that involved cleaning the house since DH comes home today...
Sincerely,
Wtf
Dear Diary:
First ultrasound tomorrow. I am so nervous. Also, if I have a full bladder like they ask of me for an hour and half, I will pee my pants.
Sincerely:
I have the smallest bladder ever.
10+4
11 days till my next scan, I am counting the hours need to know everything is ok. Everything I read lately is about miscarriage :-(
I have horrible pains in my hips and a bump already oh and my SO is really getting on my nerves! I couldn't get enough of him last week, crazy hormones!
Dear diary,
Today I was nauseous. Again. I was exhausted. Again. I fluctuated between hot and cold. Again.
Today while trying to cook my son's breakfast, I caught a whiff of something and instantly threw up without warning all over my kitchen floor...it was a joy to clean up. I can't get myself off the couch now. Set up some pots and pans to keep my son busy, to try and keep him from destroying the house because toys are useless to him. Just trying to survive until nap time. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.
I feel like the worst mom ever.
Dear Diary,
Today I ate around 10 soft delicious Publix sugar cookies. They were so amazing. Then I hid the rest of the container so DH can't see how many I ate.
Love,
The Momma who is going to have another 10lb baby.
BFP #2 - EDD 1/25/16
10w4d
I was so excited for my husband to grill burgers for dinner! Used my favorite seasoning and everything. However, another plan was in store for me. As soon as said burgers came off the grill I sniffed them for proper inspection, which led to issue #1...they smelled like chemicals. So I made my burger..took a bite...yeah, no. Spit it out immediately and threw the entire thing away. Tasted ridiculous! Come on little butterbean..you're supposed to like burgers!
Dear diary,
The cats are up to something. They had a secret meeting at 4am this morning. Lots of argumentation from both sides. I'm hoping that they were just discussing whether a mouse or a bird would be more appropriate as baby shower present.
Also if I could put fuel in my car without throwing up at the petrol station, that would be much appreciated.
Dear diary,
If I could please have one day without getting dizzy or sick in the shower I'd greatly appreciate it. I think my staff is catching on to the dry shampoo look...
Sincerely,
Drowned in perfume.
Dear Diary,
This random insomnia shit needs to stop. I...will...cut...a...b!tch.
Dear diary,
My lovely partner is sick with a very bad flu. I woke up complaining of nausea this morning, soon after he had a coughing fit and proceeded to describe, in detail, the big chunk of phlegm he had just coughed up... Thanks m'dear. Needless to say I spent ten minutes emptying my already empty stomach into the toilet.. Gotta love stomach bile.
Sincerely, your sick will make me sick
10 weeks 5 days
Dear Diary,
I cried during an Xfinity commercial because all the sweet kids got tickets to Taylor Swift's 1989 and were so happy. Apparently really happy people have the power to make me cry.
I'm also still freaked out that I had a dream that I ate my cat. I'm not sure I'll ever get over this.
Dear diary,
All I do is pee, vomit (sometimes both at the same time), eat, and sleep. Repeat. Work is somewhere in there too. I just threw up and the toilet water splashed on my face. Again. I'm still trying to figure out the right distance from the toilet so it won't happen again.
Gotta go throw up again. Maybe I'll figure it out this time. Wish me luck.
My partner finally asked some questions about our baby, like the size and what he/she would look like. He also mentioned my bump which must be noticeable today because he wasn't the only one. Made me happy to know that he's interested
8w4d. I went to see Jurassic World with the hubby and it was sold out. I cried.
Sincerely,
Hormonal Mama
This gas has got to stop. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and my farts were so loud, they woke up my 1year old... Awesome.
@mamaksweez might be my spirit animal. I'm using the bathroom in target and I farted so loud the 3 year old in the stall next to me laughed. I then had to listen to mom give a lecture on why laughing at people isn't nice. Kill me now.
Sincerely,
I'll just stay in here 'til they leave
Aren't hormones just the best? Tonight I wanted to divorce DH for not cleaning up dog poo. Yep. Then I cried because I was angry. The dog's not getting away scot free either, I'm giving her the evil eye right now. Please send me on a weekend away of relaxation right now!
10 weeks today. That means it has been 5 straight weeks of incessant vomiting. Today while running in panic in to the bathroom to continue this now religious ritual, I partially missed the toilet. While I continued to offer the contents of my stomach to the porcelain gods, my dog ate what I had accidentally gotten on the floor. I'm not even mad, at least someone is helping out around here. Also this isn't the first time this has happened.
Signed,
Sorry not sorry