I've heard about this shared maternity leave where parents have equal time off but I wouldn't agree to it. My partners only entitled to two weeks off paternity leave. I'm in the UK so might be different. My opinion is I spent 9/10 months with my baby growing inside me I'm not going to give up and go back to work after 3 months. Babys need their mums especially if your breast feeding x
Your not giving up, if you go back to work 3 months after having baby. Some people don't get a choice & have to go back to work after 3 months of baby being born. As for a breastfeeding mother that does have to go back to work they can express & use a bottle while mum is working then once home back on the breast. A baby also needs their dads. The dad has every right to bond with baby just as much as the mother does. So I believe that the shared maternity leave is a good option. It doesn't have to be taken separately it can be taken together. Meaning both parents can be at home with baby for the first 6 months I think it is.
My husband is choosing to use his 6 weeks when I'm home with me but 6 months sounds like an insane amount of time to be home for the man. But if I were you I would let him, it's not going to affect him financially and he clearly wants to be with the baby and it's not fair to say he can't
That most woman aren't offered nearly that much amount of time and seems odd for the father to be offered that much time. Please don't turn that into something that it's not.
I'm sure the woman that work for the OP's husband's company are allowed the same amount of time as the men.
I still don't understand.
Okay well I'm sorry that I've never heard of any gender being offered that amount of time. There's no reason to be giving me a hard time about it. It's clear I support the dad to be allowed to use him time, so there should be no problem here. I've just never known anyone to have that much time offered to them. If a mother was offered that much time off I would have been equally surprised.
You specifically said "for the man." Have you never heard of a stay at home dad before either? It just seems like kind of a sexist comment to make. It wasn't like you said, wow, six months! You said an "insane amount of time for the man."
Are you kidding me right now? You're just trying to start trouble for your own enjoyment. Think what you want. Nothing I said was meant to be sexist and you're taking it all out of context. Praise the men who stay home and raise their children, who I happen to know quite a few of.
And to be honest, I thought this app was used to share stories and be support for all of us as mothers and mothers to be, with respect and praise. Clearly that's not what you're here for so please just stop.
I'm not trying to start trouble, I was simply taken aback by your comment. You've clarified that you were unaware and I guess now you are.
Also, FWIW, this site is to drive up revenue for advertising.
@nickc2cute that is not true for most places of employment. Yes everyone is entitled to 12 weeks of fmla per year, but all that does is assure your job position if you need to call off. You are still responsible for using your PTO/ill/vacation time to pay for your missed days. My company, which is a state job offers 6 weeks of paid maternity leave and we can take an additional 6 weeks to equal 12 weeks of fmla, as long as we have the time accrued or short term disability. Fathers are granted 3 weeks of paternity leave and are not permitted to take any additional time off unless it falls under an approved fmla. Our adoption leave is listed completely separate. So again it is not the same for all companies. Everyone needs to look into their work policies. My SO has no specific leave for paternity, he can use his vacation time or his ill time if he so chooses.
@buckeyemomma2be. I'm strictly taking about FMLA for the birth of a child and not about maternity or paternity paid leave. This is federal law and not every company falls under it but if they do the same rules apply. It covers adoption and child birth bonding time for both men and women for a block of 12 weeks.
I've heard about this shared maternity leave where parents have equal time off but I wouldn't agree to it. My partners only entitled to two weeks off paternity leave. I'm in the UK so might be different. My opinion is I spent 9/10 months with my baby growing inside me I'm not going to give up and go back to work after 3 months. Babys need their mums especially if your breast feeding x
Your not giving up, if you go back to work 3 months after having baby. Some people don't get a choice & have to go back to work after 3 months of baby being born. As for a breastfeeding mother that does have to go back to work they can express & use a bottle while mum is working then once home back on the breast. A baby also needs their dads. The dad has every right to bond with baby just as much as the mother does. So I believe that the shared maternity leave is a good option. It doesn't have to be taken separately it can be taken together. Meaning both parents can be at home with baby for the first 6 months I think it is.
I didn't mean it has giving up on my child I meant it as I wouldn't want to leave them that soon! My own mum went back to work when I was two months old and my brother was 7 years old. Yes some people don't have a choice! But some people do! Maternity leave together is a brilliant idea but I thought it was to be taken separately! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion!
I've heard about this shared maternity leave where parents have equal time off but I wouldn't agree to it. My partners only entitled to two weeks off paternity leave. I'm in the UK so might be different. My opinion is I spent 9/10 months with my baby growing inside me I'm not going to give up and go back to work after 3 months. Babys need their mums especially if your breast feeding x
Your not giving up, if you go back to work 3 months after having baby. Some people don't get a choice & have to go back to work after 3 months of baby being born. As for a breastfeeding mother that does have to go back to work they can express & use a bottle while mum is working then once home back on the breast. A baby also needs their dads. The dad has every right to bond with baby just as much as the mother does. So I believe that the shared maternity leave is a good option. It doesn't have to be taken separately it can be taken together. Meaning both parents can be at home with baby for the first 6 months I think it is.
I didn't mean it has giving up on my child I meant it as I wouldn't want to leave them that soon! My own mum went back to work when I was two months old and my brother was 7 years old. Yes some people don't have a choice! But some people do! Maternity leave together is a brilliant idea but I thought it was to be taken separately! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion!
Fully aware everyone is entitled to there own opinion. I wasn't saying what you said was wrong. As far as I'm aware and what I've read up on. Parents that both work can take maternity leave together or they can split it. I agree that taken together is a good idea.
I have to ask my two employers how much paid time they will give me off- my 4yr old and my 2yr old. They're pretty strict so I doubt I'll get anything!
But on a more serious note - my husband will get a week. But I believe if he chooses to use his "short term disability" for 6 or 12weeks- which I think is what @nickc2cute is talking about- he wouldn't be guaranteed his job when the time was over.
From my research personally with most short term disability policies they cannot be used for paternity leave. My DH can't use his that way and from what I understand most policies you can't because it is meant to cover a medical situation in which your DH physically can't work under which paternity leave does not qualify like it would for a mother who physically has to recover from giving birth. Just a thought you may want to double check with your policy and make sure his can be used for paternity leave if so...lucky and I'm SUPER jealous!!!!
Wow and I thought my husband's two week paternity leave was progressive! Guess not. In France women get 6 months and the father gets two weeks (or what my husband will be doing, after his two weeks he will be working from home once a week.)
I'm anxious for OP to clarify her issue as I'm not really sure what the problem is. It sounds like a fantastic situation; I would love my husband to be home for six months with the baby! But I'm sure there's more to her story...fill us in when you can!
My hubby's work will top him up to 90% of his wage for three weeks. It comes off my year (in Canada) but that's okay. He took it last time and we went to Florida lol because it can be used anytime in the first year.
I'm a stay at home mom now so theoretically he could take his 3 weeks at 90% and then like 30 something weeks at 55% but we can't afford it.
This time he saved his vacation for September. I think he has he whole month. He has plans for his 3 weeks but I can't remember when he plans to take them. It's frowned upon at his work to be off during their busy season which will start the end of September. I believe maybe he was saving it for next summer.
I live in Canada and we get one yr parental I'm only taking the first two months and hubby is taking the rest we only get a portion of ur pay covered and it doesn't make sense since I make much more We did this with our other children and didnt bother me at all dad was very good at home
If you had previously agreed with your partner and maybe spoken to your employer about taking a certain amount of time for maternity leave and then once you got close to your third trimester the plan suddenly changed I can see how you'd feel a bit off about it. You're starting to think about the delivery and things are getting more real - it can be a bit of an emotional thing to change plans now.
Where I'm from maternity leave is about recovery and parental leave is about bonding with the child. So that would be like me taking the leave given in response to the physical aspect then my partner taking the leave meant for bonding/becoming the sole caregiver. We aren't doing that because my partner makes far more money than I do - but if it's financially helping your family then I think you should consider it. It's natural to assume he wants to do this because he cares about the stability of the family and bonding with the child - but if it's for other more selfish reasons that would be a strange request... Honestly being a stay at home mom was never in my plans, but I do know a few women whose life aspiration was to be at home and raise their family - and if that is true for you and a possibility given your financial situation then I really think you should both discus it.
Aside from the argument about whether paternal leave should be provided paid or unpaid, I have a UO. I do not understand how someone can feel good about taking 6 months off from a true career. To me, that would just tell me that I'm non essential and replaceable. I'd rather feel like I'm in a career where my boss is begging me to come back because I'm so crucial to the functioning of his business. If I told DH to take more than 2 weeks off at a time, he'd laugh in my face.
@nickc2cute and I am telling you that my company, which again is a very large state company does not have fmla for 12 weeks leave for birth or adoption! Maternity has 6 weeks paid by employer and 6 weeks that employees are allowed to take but it is not paid. Paternity leave is 3 weeks that the employee must pay. Adoption leave is up to 12 weeks, but it is not paid. Every company is different like I said before. So everyone needs to make sure they check the rules before assuming you automatically get 12 weeks leave.
@buckeyemomma2be. You are not reading well. In one post I said If it's fmla and in another post I said everyone company does not fall under FMLA so that would exclude you right? However it sounds like your company follows fmla and you are not understanding what fmla is. It's unpaid leave to protect your job so the 6 weeks paid plus 6 weeks unpaid equals your 12 weeks of fmla. Same with the same 12 weeks of adoption leave.
I understand wanting to spend more that just 12 weeks with your newborn. Our national standards are completely nuts. Personally I only get 12 weeks of unpaid leave and my partner does not get PTO, and it breaks my heart as a FTM to think of my.little ones being left with strangers after that. However, the reality is that we need to get paid, and really the coat of childcare is going to be the killer for us, so if your partner can take paid leave at the.point w her yours runs out and not only save you the childcare costs but to keep them with a parent, this seems like a windfall. Compare this with the cost of in-home care for just one month.Its true, we don't get nearly enough time with our babies, but it looks like you may have a shot at making the.most of a bad situation. I think its great that your partner is willing to be a care provoser, not just able, when so many shirk away from the task in fear....
Re: Father wants to take maternity leave?!
As for a breastfeeding mother that does have to go back to work they can express & use a bottle while mum is working then once home back on the breast. A baby also needs their dads. The dad has every right to bond with baby just as much as the mother does. So I believe that the shared maternity leave is a good option. It doesn't have to be taken separately it can be taken together. Meaning both parents can be at home with baby for the first 6 months I think it is.
Also, FWIW, this site is to drive up revenue for advertising.
I'm anxious for OP to clarify her issue as I'm not really sure what the problem is. It sounds like a fantastic situation; I would love my husband to be home for six months with the baby! But I'm sure there's more to her story...fill us in when you can!
I'm a stay at home mom now so theoretically he could take his 3 weeks at 90% and then like 30 something weeks at 55% but we can't afford it.
This time he saved his vacation for September. I think he has he whole month. He has plans for his 3 weeks but I can't remember when he plans to take them. It's frowned upon at his work to be off during their busy season which will start the end of September. I believe maybe he was saving it for next summer.
We did this with our other children and didnt bother me at all dad was very good at home
Where I'm from maternity leave is about recovery and parental leave is about bonding with the child. So that would be like me taking the leave given in response to the physical aspect then my partner taking the leave meant for bonding/becoming the sole caregiver. We aren't doing that because my partner makes far more money than I do - but if it's financially helping your family then I think you should consider it. It's natural to assume he wants to do this because he cares about the stability of the family and bonding with the child - but if it's for other more selfish reasons that would be a strange request... Honestly being a stay at home mom was never in my plans, but I do know a few women whose life aspiration was to be at home and raise their family - and if that is true for you and a possibility given your financial situation then I really think you should both discus it.