November 2015 Moms

Any of you dealt with child support, is it worth the hassle of court? Or should I trust his wor

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Re: Any of you dealt with child support, is it worth the hassle of court? Or should I trust his wor

  • Sounds like I need to move to GA.. We have a blended family. My son's sperm donor (my husband is his dad) is literally, no joke, $15,000 behind in CS & IA will do nothing. My son is 6. I can screenshot it for the non believers. He has 4 kids by 4 women so I can't imagine what the other balances are. He hasn't spent more than 1 night in jail over this. He took me back through child support recovery to get his CS lowered around Christmas time last year & they dropped it to the state minimum ($30 per month). State minimum just got raised, it was $10. Yes, $10. He works part time at Pizza Hut now (before it was under the table for YEARS & watching his girlfriend's kid so she could work all while collecting state benefits) & they can't even garnish the full $30 per month because he doesn't work enough. No joke, I promise. I get $7 every 2 weeks. What does this $14 buy my son you ask? Not a damn thing. $14 doesn't even cover a fraction of his extra curricular (no, not actual expenses.. doesn't even cover a fraction of extra stuff he wants to do).. So yea, Iowa is a joke.. I finally gave up calling CS office because it's pointless. They just take his license he doesn't have anyways.. My daughter's father is another cup of wonderful I don't have the patience to discuss.. No worries, my son doesn't go without. & eventually I learned to make better choices in men.. Rant over......
    My ex is far behind in payments as well.  I had court ordered support for a couple of years and never received a dime.  I went through child support services after I lost my job about 2yrs ago and was having trouble supporting myself and my daughter.  I received about $500/mo for 3 months before he stopped paying.  I found out he'd ended up in jail.  I have since found another job and am able to support my family again.  I feel bad for him, but we all have choices to make in life.  He chose poorly. 
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  • Oh, only one more thing, promise.
    Not going to pretend to know the laws in your state. But in Iowa if you name him the father through CSR he has the option to request a paternity test. If it comes back he is the father, the full cost of the test is billed to him.

    Good luck girl. Be strong.
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  • VexyMommy said:

    My ex is far behind in payments as well.  I had court ordered support for a couple of years and never received a dime.  I went through child support services after I lost my job about 2yrs ago and was having trouble supporting myself and my daughter.  I received about $500/mo for 3 months before he stopped paying.  I found out he'd ended up in jail.  I have since found another job and am able to support my family again.  I feel bad for him, but we all have choices to make in life.  He chose poorly. 


    Seriously, strong independent single mom's deserve more admiration. We are awesome.

    I understand feeling bad to an extent.. My kindness only goes so far though and no one makes a baby by their lonesome.
  • It's very nice of you to let him know how you plan to proceed, but I don't know if you really want to contact him and let him know what you're doing. He's just going to try to talk you out of it. I don't think you owe him anything for the way he is acting and treating you, but that's just my opinion. Good luck.
    This. If you plan on taking him to court, stop contacting him now. Let your lawyer handle any communication. Anything you say to him is fair game once you start legal proceedings.
  • On a side note though, if line of communication does open up it will only benefit your child. Our judges always commend parents for open communication with parenting time. You don't have to tell him everything but try to keep it amicable. It goes both ways.
  • On a side note though, if line of communication does open up it will only benefit your child. Our judges always commend parents for open communication with parenting time. You don't have to tell him everything but try to keep it amicable. It goes both ways.

    This is so accurate. Although sometimes it takes time before you can get to that point. In the beginning there may be animosity towards each other. Once the court order is in place, there's really nothing that either party can do. It's done. You can either continue to be difficult or you can decide to work together as a team.
  • Absolutely go to court. Better safe than sorry. This is your kid and there are too many stories of guys dodging this responsibility. My DH employs a guys who was beind on child support and his ex took him to court. He has all the latest gadgets including a new tv, gaming set, and car. Please. He can learn to better manage his obey and get his priorities straight. That's why court is there. To keep them in check and be a reassurance for you.
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  • edited October 2016
    Removed for TOU Violation
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