Any of you dealt with child support, is it worth the hassle of court? Or should I trust his wor

VexyMommy

prettyincamo87 said:

Every state is different, but even in GA they impute any adult who does not qualify for disability with the ability to get a 40hr a week job at minimum wage. They then add in the other parent's wages and assume the child needs 1/4 of the parent's combined income for support. They figure out the percentage of income each parent contributes and the non-custodial parent pays their portion based on that figure. I have friends in NY who pay child support and the laws there are not skimpy when it comes to support. Who has been giving you the $25/mo figure?

Sounds like I need to move to GA.. We have a blended family. My son's sperm donor (my husband is his dad) is literally, no joke, $15,000 behind in CS & IA will do nothing. My son is 6. I can screenshot it for the non believers. He has 4 kids by 4 women so I can't imagine what the other balances are. He hasn't spent more than 1 night in jail over this. He took me back through child support recovery to get his CS lowered around Christmas time last year & they dropped it to the state minimum ($30 per month). State minimum just got raised, it was $10. Yes, $10. He works part time at Pizza Hut now (before it was under the table for YEARS & watching his girlfriend's kid so she could work all while collecting state benefits) & they can't even garnish the full $30 per month because he doesn't work enough. No joke, I promise. I get $7 every 2 weeks. What does this $14 buy my son you ask? Not a damn thing. $14 doesn't even cover a fraction of his extra curricular (no, not actual expenses.. doesn't even cover a fraction of extra stuff he wants to do).. So yea, Iowa is a joke.. I finally gave up calling CS office because it's pointless. They just take his license he doesn't have anyways.. My daughter's father is another cup of wonderful I don't have the patience to discuss.. No worries, my son doesn't go without. & eventually I learned to make better choices in men.. Rant over......

My ex is far behind in payments as well.  I had court ordered support for a couple of years and never received a dime.  I went through child support services after I lost my job about 2yrs ago and was having trouble supporting myself and my daughter.  I received about $500/mo for 3 months before he stopped paying.  I found out he'd ended up in jail.  I have since found another job and am able to support my family again.  I feel bad for him, but we all have choices to make in life.  He chose poorly. 

prettyincamo87

Oh, only one more thing, promise.
Not going to pretend to know the laws in your state. But in Iowa if you name him the father through CSR he has the option to request a paternity test. If it comes back he is the father, the full cost of the test is billed to him.

Good luck girl. Be strong.

prettyincamo87

VexyMommy said:

prettyincamo87 said:

VexyMommy said:

Every state is different, but even in GA they impute any adult who does not qualify for disability with the ability to get a 40hr a week job at minimum wage. They then add in the other parent's wages and assume the child needs 1/4 of the parent's combined income for support. They figure out the percentage of income each parent contributes and the non-custodial parent pays their portion based on that figure. I have friends in NY who pay child support and the laws there are not skimpy when it comes to support. Who has been giving you the $25/mo figure?

Sounds like I need to move to GA..
We have a blended family. My son's sperm donor (my husband is his dad) is literally, no joke, $15,000 behind in CS & IA will do nothing. My son is 6. I can screenshot it for the non believers. He has 4 kids by 4 women so I can't imagine what the other balances are. He hasn't spent more than 1 night in jail over this. He took me back through child support recovery to get his CS lowered around Christmas time last year & they dropped it to the state minimum ($30 per month). State minimum just got raised, it was $10. Yes, $10. He works part time at Pizza Hut now (before it was under the table for YEARS & watching his girlfriend's kid so she could work all while collecting state benefits) & they can't even garnish the full $30 per month because he doesn't work enough. No joke, I promise. I get $7 every 2 weeks. What does this $14 buy my son you ask? Not a damn thing. $14 doesn't even cover a fraction of his extra curricular (no, not actual expenses.. doesn't even cover a fraction of extra stuff he wants to do).. So yea, Iowa is a joke.. I finally gave up calling CS office because it's pointless. They just take his license he doesn't have anyways.. My daughter's father is another cup of wonderful I don't have the patience to discuss..

No worries, my son doesn't go without. & eventually I learned to make better choices in men..
Rant over......

My ex is far behind in payments as well.  I had court ordered support for a couple of years and never received a dime.  I went through child support services after I lost my job about 2yrs ago and was having trouble supporting myself and my daughter.  I received about $500/mo for 3 months before he stopped paying.  I found out he'd ended up in jail.  I have since found another job and am able to support my family again.  I feel bad for him, but we all have choices to make in life.  He chose poorly. 


Seriously, strong independent single mom's deserve more admiration. We are awesome.

I understand feeling bad to an extent.. My kindness only goes so far though and no one makes a baby by their lonesome.

BlueWaffleSpeshul

Ceridwen77 said:

I guess you guys are right, I have to go through court. I've told him before I don't think he's trustworthy and he literally says everytime "what have I ever done to be untrustworthy?" He's just stalling because he wants more time to be his age. He already told his mom I'm pregnant and he doesn't want a paternity test so soon because if his mom finds out the baby is his she's going to force him to help. Then his dad will find out I'm pregnant and he won't have a choice anymore on staying or going. He just wants to party and I took that from him. So he ignores me. I have my 15 week doctors appointment tomorrow morning and if everything's okay with a baby and they find a heartbeat I will contact him at night and tell him I'm bringing him to court. I'm going to suggest to him he doesn't leave before the child support court date and then the custody court case. He's not going to be able to afford to buy so many plane tickets. But sometimes I wonder if courts even worth it because New York State child support laws are weird. He's considered poverty level I'm sure, he's only 19 and has a regular job. I may only end up getting $25 a month from by the end of this.

It's very nice of you to let him know how you plan to proceed, but I don't know if you really want to contact him and let him know what you're doing. He's just going to try to talk you out of it. I don't think you owe him anything for the way he is acting and treating you, but that's just my opinion. Good luck.

This. If you plan on taking him to court, stop contacting him now. Let your lawyer handle any communication. Anything you say to him is fair game once you start legal proceedings.

ajmcarroll

On a side note though, if line of communication does open up it will only benefit your child. Our judges always commend parents for open communication with parenting time. You don't have to tell him everything but try to keep it amicable. It goes both ways.

helsbels222

ajmcarroll said:

On a side note though, if line of communication does open up it will only benefit your child. Our judges always commend parents for open communication with parenting time. You don't have to tell him everything but try to keep it amicable. It goes both ways.

This is so accurate. Although sometimes it takes time before you can get to that point. In the beginning there may be animosity towards each other. Once the court order is in place, there's really nothing that either party can do. It's done. You can either continue to be difficult or you can decide to work together as a team.

lopezalonso

Absolutely go to court. Better safe than sorry. This is your kid and there are too many stories of guys dodging this responsibility. My DH employs a guys who was beind on child support and his ex took him to court. He has all the latest gadgets including a new tv, gaming set, and car. Please. He can learn to better manage his obey and get his priorities straight. That's why court is there. To keep them in check and be a reassurance for you.

Jessicacreative

Removed for TOU Violation