need to vent

tsmj182

So we had my sister hold onto the crib and changing table till we finally got moved into our new apartment. We told her we'd get it the 29th which obviously didn't happen so my sister wanted to bring the crib and changing table over this past saturday cause they wanted to start cleaning out their garage.

Well my boyfriend was getting all frusterated cause we had just moved into our new apartment and there was still stuff left to unpack and organize which I tried to do as much as I could (he went to Colorado for 5 days in the meantime cause he had it already planned with his friend) and he has yet to look at his stuff and organize it even though that's why he was getting like that.

Well now since I only have 6 weeks left I want to start getting the baby's room all set up and ready so I don't have to worry about it especially since I have my shower this Saturday so that way I can start putting stuff away. So he tells me he's going over to his friends house after work on Tuesday to spend the night and then weds watch the baseball game which I asked him how long he was going to be gone for cause I work third shift. And he's like I don't know.

I told him I would have liked him to help me put the crib together on weds but maybe instead he could help me on thursday. Which he asks why am I rushing to have it be put together and I tell him so I can organize the baby's room and put stuff away after the shower from Saturday and all he says is so. I'm just getting annoyed and frustrated at him cause it seems like he doesn't care so I just told him I'd do it myself then.

So then I asked when he was going to look through his stuff cause I know how he was the other day when my family brought over the crib and changing table cause his mom and sister are going to come over to see the apartment either before or after the shower and all he says is soon. That doesn't tell me anything at all.

I don't know if I'm just overreacting or if I'm right to feel like this. He says he's excited for the baby to be here but I feel like he'd want to help me put together the crib at least or something or that he'd understand why I want to put it together and get his room organized.

kcave21

I would be so annoyed by this....and keep telling him he needs to put the crib together now lol

KonaCoffeeBean

I don't think you're overreacting, and it actually sounds like a much bigger problem... I know everyone's relationship is different, but he sounds very disengaged. If my husband started acting that way, especially at the end of my pregnancy, I would start to wonder about his commitment to the relationship.

bbiutmcph

How old is he?  Spending the night with friends, going away for a week with friends when you are in the middle of a move, not helping with preparing for the baby and not even unpacking when you move sounds like you are dealing with a teen child not someone about to be a father. 

edit posted to soon but it sounds like you need to have a serious sit down talk like yesterday before you have another littler person to take care of.

cas3ymari3

This would piss me off. You are definitely not over reacting. Also Im sorry but why would a grown man sleep over at his friends house?

Eden+Jon

I'm sorry, you are most definitely not overreacting. I would sit him down and ask if he's doing okay and let him know what has upset you. I hope you guys can figure it out.

janellepruett

Do not allow him to behave that way! He is a grown man, and needs to start acting like one.
There is No way I would ever allow myself to be treated like that. He is there to love, support and charish you. If you do not put your foot down - not in the waring the pants type of way but in the I have the right to be treated with respect and not cast aside kind of way-you just might have so big issues to deal with relationship wise later down the road.

tsmj182

I could hear him doing something in the other room to see what he was doing and He was trying to put the crib together before I came in so i was helping him put it together. cause I think he could see I was annoyed/upset about it finally. He did this the next day, been busy so I couldn't give an update about it had help my parents and sister with stuff for the baby shower and also been working a lot too. But thank you everyone that wrote back.

And he also put all the drawers back in the changing table/dresser to to I was kind of suprised and happy that he stepped up and did that.

momof2buggs

Men are different. They don't care if the nursery is put together or not. They would likely be fine with putting baby to sleep in a shoebox. Women are the ones who are usually uptight and worried about everything being together and ready for the baby. Don't stress. Just do it yourself. Trust me, the task of parenting you're about to take on is NOTHING compared to putting together a crib when you're 30+ weeks pregnant. Just let him do his thing, and don't put many demands on him. He will process and prepare much differently than you will, and that's ok. He will come around, and it will probably be after baby is born.