But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
Wow. You would think that you and I shared a MIL because my MIL does the exact same things! She's very dramatic and high strung.
She also assumes that our son will be spending a lot of time at her house because my sister in law shares custody of her son and everytime she has him, he ends up at my in law's house. She's constantly making comments about how she's glad they got some traveling out of the way before this other baby comes. Ummm. No. Im responsible and I will not be pawning my child off on you. Leaving my child there without my or my husband's supervision will probably be a last resort. Partially because she also likes to drink in excess almost every single weekend. She likes to get crazy and act like she's still in her teens/early 20s. In fact she refers to our friends and my husband's friends as her friends.
In addition to that, since we told her about our pregnancy she has referred to our child as hers -__-. Constantly using comments like "we've got a baby on the way" or "my baby is going to be so handsome" when speaking to people about OUR BABY. She also assumes that because my husband "looks just like her" that our baby will look just like my husband and her. She is always saying how her side of the family have such strong, dominant genes. She was making it seem as if the only part im playing is carrying the child. As if I had no part in creating this child and that my genes dont play a part in what hes going to look like. One day she went on and on about it and I got so frustrated. My husband had a very stern conversation with her about it and the end result was her crying and walking out of the restaurant.
With that said, i think she does what she does because she's extremely excited for this baby. My husband is her only child by blood (she has step children), and they're very close. I cant fault her for being excited but it can be a little much sometimes. My MIL is great most of the time, but some of the things she's said/done during the course of this pregnancy have driven me up a wall! I often wonder how my husband turned out the way he did. He is so laidback and and they're very different. All of this will be worth it when im holding my little man for the first time!
I never say anything but it secretly bothers me too when my MIL says how much our daughter has HER hair, HER eyes, HER whatever. In my head I'm like "No, you dumbass, she actually has her father's eyes and MY hair." But I just smile and say "sure." It's what lead to her "Oh, she's never going to have pretty hair. It's just how the hair is on my side. So get ready for that." I said "Well she's actually got my hair so I'm sure it will be quite beautiful." Just stfu.
Ah I can relate in so so many ways. My sister in law basically drops off her kids at my MIL's house all the time. Unfortunately, my husband had it pretty rough growing up with his family so he isn't very close to them. He has made it his mission to be nothing like his family. He is so successful and they don't even acknowledge or realize it. Of course, they mean well most of the time and we love them but I hate when my MIL assumes I will be just like her daughter when I was raised completely different. It would drive me CRAZY if she talked about how my baby was just like her!
Since I haven't heard from my mil since mother's day when she found out the baby is a girl (after she insisted on a boy) my own mom has been doing/saying crazy things. I have a pretty good relationship with my mom, but she's had me baffled lately.
My parents have a Halloween party each year a week or two before halloween. My dad decided against it this year since that's when I'm due. My mom, apparently not happy with his decision, told me that I should agree to come to the party so he would still have it. Yeah, because as tempting as it is, to take my potentially few day old baby to your party where there will be loud music and your drunk friends will want to pass her around, Umm no. Her response, "but you'll probably feel like getting out and having some fun once you're home for a day or two". Really?
Then she asked me what she needs for the baby at her house. We were gifted a pack n play, that she insisted on keeping, along with a few other baby items, so I told her other than that I couldn't think of anything. She decides that she needs to get a dresser for her room so she'll have a place to keep clothes and diapers and will be able to put a changing pad on top. She also lists off other things including a diaper genie. So then, my grandpa builds furniture and offered to build a dresser for the nursery. My mom acted put off that he was going to make the dresser for the nursery before she would be able to have one made for the baby at her house.
She then tells me this week that she can't believe how much she has to do and purchase to get her house ready and she just realized she only has 4 months. Now, I don't need my mom to buy things for the baby or do for her at my house, but it is a little off putting to me that she hasn't offered to help us with anything, but feels the need to turn her whole house into babyville and keep items that were given that were supposed to be passed on to us.
All of this from the woman who told me last year that she just can't understand all of her coworkers, because they come to work tired from keeping and spending time with their grandchildren and how she just can't imagine wanting to care for a baby again, especially one that isn't hers.
Sigh. I know it's long, but I'm just not sure what to say to her when these topics come up.
I had a minor fender bender today(some jerk on his phone came into my lane so I had to swerve on to the median to avoid hitting him. In the process of doing so I popped both drivers side tires and messed up stuff underneath the car) and my MIL is offended I called my FIL and not her. My FIL is an OBGYN in my practice so I called him to get me in to my doctors ASAP. Thankfully everything is fine with the baby and me--not that she was concerned.
Mine just left in a huffy hurry. Husband is home working outside, and he didn't come in and say hi, that always leads her to the conclusion that he doesn't love her. Also I was taking a nap, not entertaining her, then woke and did some dishes. So she all of a sudden is like, bye girls, and opens the door. While I was half sleeping, the girls showed her their new markers, Mr. Sketch. I said they can't wear their new clothes with those, they aren't washable. So the kids decide to strip. She says "Oh I don't know if that's ok with your mommy". I was like, yah, they aren't going anywhere. She says "Oh, well I don't know the rules in your house"....OMG! Seriously? Because my kids have never run around naked in their home while you were here? It's also 100 degrees today. I am so freaking tired of this. Also she has always done this thing where she is like "I don't think your mommy would like that very much". Um, can you just tell them NO please, because YOU don't think it's a good idea.
So every one has there crazy mother inlaws I want to know how to deal with one because mine just refuses to acknowledge anything I say I say I don't want a bassinet she brings and bassinet blanket over says its for the pram but I brought sleeping bag thing I'd rather her call and ask things we need rather then buying things I don't we had fight over bassinet and me not wanting to use one she didn't agree and I wonder if she does these things to get a reaction or purely coincidental ?? Mind you thins isn't the first time sometimes I think it's me being mean and hormonal like she wants he friend to come to my baby shower which my mum sister holding and asked if she could I said no only close family and friends and boyfriend agreed he was quite mad at her for even asking because she's making our pregnancy about herself and we told her sex she wants to make first birthday cake who's thinking that far ahead she stated first in best dress that way I get to do it. She also touches my stomach which makes me go crazy I asked her not to she said she was its nana and had and she had evey right to so I honestly think it's her I am not a nasty person and dislike fighting with her ect and I constantly have fil offering for my mil to look after our baby so I can go back to work or dump it off at there place to get some sleep like honestly the amount of times they offered it to me it pissed me off I'm having this child and my boyfriend and I will take resonsability for her and if I need help I'll ask my mum I'm just wanting ways to cope I've taken a step back and doesn't seem like enough it still does my head in
Punctuation and paragraphs are your friend. This was super difficult to read.
However...your MIL sounds a little over bearing. If you don't want her to touch you, tell her not to. And just repeat it, over and over and over.
As for her buying things you guys don't want...take them back. If she asked if you wanted a bassinet, you said no, she bought you a new one, return it to Babies R Us or BuyBuyBaby. Even without a receipt, you'll get useful store credit. When she asks, your husband can say "We had no use for a bassinet, which we told you in the past, so we returned it to the store and used the credit to purchase the crib. Thanks so much for your help with that."
Either she'll stop buying you things you don't want, or you keep returning things. Win win.
Had to chime in here. My in-laws really wanted twins. My husband and I would have loved twins but were perfectly happy with one baby as this our first and we're figuring it all out. So they expressed their disappointment when we told them that we were only having one. It really hurt because we had a hard time getting pregnant and were really excited to just one healthy baby.
So now I'm 23 weeks and I was with them yesterday and they went on and on about how disappointed they were that we were only having one. I just smiled because it's no use talking to them about why it's really awesome that we have one healthy baby on the way, as they were convinced that it would be twins. It really did hurt my feelings though. I can't talk to my DH about it anymore because he gets so defensive of them and just tells me to get over it because they have no filter and speak their minds.
@intheversa why would the automatically expect twins? I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm especially sorry that your husband isn't stepping in and telling his parents to stop with their BS. When my MIL hurts my feelings, I've got a hard time saying anything because I know she doesn't mean it. I bring it up to my husband and he tells her, "Hey, mom, you hurt Grace's feelings with this thing you said because..." She apologizes and everything is good. I'm sorry your husband doesn't do this for you. Your MIL should recognize that our feelings are more easily hurt during pregnancy. Especially if it's been brought up before. I'm so happy for you and your healthy baby though!
@gograce Sorry, should have explained. Twins run on their side. My understanding is that the dad has no control over that, just the mom's side. My family only had one set of twins ever and one of them didn't survive the pregnancy.
My husband said stuff to them in the beginning, especially when it was a big issue and his dad was cracking jokes on how it took us forever to get pregnant (we had trouble). They stopped for a while. But they like to say things when he's not around because they know I'm too polite to say anything. I hate to drag him into it again, he's got enough on his plate as it is and he's been really awesome about letting me quit my job because it was a bad situation and the stress was bad for me and the baby.
They were like this during the wedding too. They love to control. I don't know why they were so convinced that it would be twins. I've told them repeatedly, "Be grateful, I have friends who have been trying for years to get pregnant and they too would be happy with just one. "
My family and my husband's family live 3 hours apart, but I live thousands of miles away. I'm going to visit my family and leave my kids with my dad and brother (and his 4 kids who are each the same age as each of my 4) while I go have a girl's week with my mom, sister, and SIL. My mother in law is PISSED I'm not leaving the kids with her and we're not going to stay half of our time with her. She doesn't have air conditioning and she doesn't have cousins for my kids to play with. Last summer we split our time between my parents' house and her house and my kids had severe heat sickness. We live in Alaska for goodness sake; we're not used to that any I'll be 30 weeks pregnant. She's just not getting it and I'm a people pleaser, so I will likely give in and end up miserable at her house for a few days.
So we are here in Michigan visiting my in-laws for the first time since we told them about our pregnancy. I knew it was going to be a treat. At breakfast this morning we were talking about our plans to grill out at a friends house today. My husband was eating more than usual for breakfast and my FIL says "well, he's got to have his energy to keep an eye on Miranda and make sure she is staying sober and not eating anything she isn't supposed to." Excuse me? WTF?? He was joking but really? I just said Wow and tried not to cry. I know it was a joke but to even hear someone insinuate that I would put my baby in danger just pissed me off!
My MIL makes me nuts. This is my second marriage, I have a six and three year old from previous marriage. She constantly tells me what to do or.that I am too overprotective with my son - he has serious health problems. She keepssaying this baby - hubby's first- should be a third, and that I should give him what he wants because it is his first baby. She wanted to do a shower for us and invite his family - his parents have 15 siblings between them. It's been a high risk pregnanc unfortunately so she decided she wants to wait until after the baby comes to host it because "if baby comes now he will probably die, and if he comes later bad things could still happen. They - her and husband's sisters- don't want to have to clean it a nursery if he dies. Pretty much done with then all.
I am SO lucky with my in-laws! My MIL said a few out of the way things during wedding time. Hurt my feelings then. Told hubby. He talked to her. She apologized. She can be a bit dense sometimes but that makes her more cute and precious to me. My own mother, on the other hand, hmmmm. I come from a highly opinionated, no hold bar kind of family. So....there you have it. I think the worst I have is my sister in law. She always compares her 3 pregnancies with mine. She insists on being in the delivery room. Also insists that I have an epidural. That childbirth is meant to be pleasant and enjoyable. Wth?
My mother in law has no filter she says whatever she is thinking and its not usually nice thoughts. When I was about 16 weeks pregnant she came over to me put her hand on my stomach and said your not showing yet are you sure the baby is still alive?? WTF!!! She is now taking about having a nursery at her house... Fat chance in hell my baby is sleeping over there.
I get along pretty well with my MIL. She says some dumb things and can be very opinionated, but she is never overtly offensive. I've also drawn some clear boundaries with her and she is careful not to cross them.
My FIL on the otherhand - I could write a book on sh*t my FIL says! He has no respect for boundaries at all. A few of our gems are:
* On our wedding day, while I was walking down the isle he was whispering to my hubby "I'll drive the getaway car! It's not too late!" loud enough for everyone to hear.
* When leaving for our honeymoon "Don't forget the condoms! It's harder to get out when there are kids involved."
* When we were talking with family about trying for a baby around Thanksgiving "I sure hope you don't have news to tell us... it would ruin my holidays."
* When we announced our pregnancy "Couldn't you have started with a dog?"
My MIL was a complete terrorist during my wedding that resulted in us not speaking for a while. Best five months of my life! Then she called one day apologized and wanted to start fresh. I'm gathering she called because she knew that one day we would start a family and really wanted a grand daughter. So I've been playing nice even though she plays favorites with her two sons (my husband being the least favorite). Low and behold we find out we are having a baby girl. This creep is on me like white on rice wanting to be my best friend and I can't shake her off. Then last week she told me the date of my surprise shower...I hate her.
OMG! I'm sorry, but not sorry! I laughed so hard when you called her a creep!
My MIL makes me nuts. This is my second marriage, I have a six and three year old from previous marriage. She constantly tells me what to do or.that I am too overprotective with my son - he has serious health problems. She keepssaying this baby - hubby's first- should be a third, and that I should give him what he wants because it is his first baby. She wanted to do a shower for us and invite his family - his parents have 15 siblings between them. It's been a high risk pregnanc unfortunately so she decided she wants to wait until after the baby comes to host it because "if baby comes now he will probably die, and if he comes later bad things could still happen. They - her and husband's sisters- don't want to have to clean it a nursery if he dies. Pretty much done with then all.
OMG! I would decline the shower with a pleasant "No, thank you." And make sure your husband is aware of your feelings.mi would never let someone like that throw me a shower.
@gograce Sorry, should have explained. Twins run on their side. My understanding is that the dad has no control over that, just the mom's side. My family only had one set of twins ever and one of them didn't survive the pregnancy.
My husband said stuff to them in the beginning, especially when it was a big issue and his dad was cracking jokes on how it took us forever to get pregnant (we had trouble). They stopped for a while. But they like to say things when he's not around because they know I'm too polite to say anything. I hate to drag him into it again, he's got enough on his plate as it is and he's been really awesome about letting me quit my job because it was a bad situation and the stress was bad for me and the baby.
They were like this during the wedding too. They love to control. I don't know why they were so convinced that it would be twins. I've told them repeatedly, "Be grateful, I have friends who have been trying for years to get pregnant and they too would be happy with just one. "
I would be lvid. Next time they reference twins, I would say something like, "Most normal grandparents would be thrilled to be having one grandchild. Thank goodness I have my parents, who could not be more excited." And then walk out of the room.
Honestly, saying.anything to DH hasnt helped. This has been the biggest fight of our relationship. He just makes excuses. His family has been nothing but a pain since we were dating and this was the last straw. Basically, I am probably just going to have to give the nurses a list of visitors I am ok with at the hospital and have them play bouncer. And then just tell them to leave when they come to the house after baby. I can't take being around them anymore and I don't want them ruining ny first few weeks with baby.
My MIL has been amazing thus far, as have my mother and her boyfriend. My grandmother, on the other hand, said some pretty mean things when I visited her. She had asked me about the baby and pregnancy and stuff, so I took it as an invitation to talk about all the things I'm learning, and how I plan to give birth in a birthing center instead of a hospital. She said not to believe everything I read on the internet, statistics don't mean anything, and she wishes I could talk to a real doctor who would tell me the truth. And that was about things like how I was learning about how the baby was practicing swallowing amniotic fluid and peeing and stuff. When I politely asked her to stop, she said, "Great, we already had to deal with her brother's hormones, now we have to deal with hers." I told her I had to leave early a while after that, and she said to my brother that it was because I was mad at her for no reason. When I was trying to explain how I felt about her commentary, and how she didn't stop even when I did stop talking about my baby, she acted like the victim and said that it was my fault for talking about it in the first place. She then proceeded to say that "Anybody can spread their legs and get knocked up, but not everyone can be a mom." That was probably the worst experience I've had with her ever, she's always been so awesome that I don't even know why she was being so cruel.
Preface: I am aware this is long. Please feel under no obligation to read it if an extended vent isn't your thing!
My husband and I had his mother over for lunch on Saturday. We have the nursery pretty much together so I thought she'd like to see, and I generally try to reach out as often as I can handle (she's our only local parent) to include her in our lives even though there is generally a recovery period requirement. We finished the lovely vegetarian lunch I made specifically to fit her diet, and then showed her the stroller she had purchased off our registry for us. I made sure to be effusively grateful as it really was a generous gift. Her response was to say that she wanted to borrow it when Baby comes to stay with her. Every time she talks about spending time with our child, it is framed as Baby Girl going to stay with her so that she can do things with her and my SIL. I don't know where this comes from, as first of all, I don't work, so she won't need to be babysat, we don't live super close, so it won't be easy for me to just drop her off to run errands, and my husband is always traveling, so much of the time, I'm home all alone. So ya, I'm totally going to give you my little buddy while my husband is gone so that you can play with her with my SIL while I just drive back to the other side of town through traffic to be by myself . So my response, as I keep trying to do when she makes these comments, is that I would love for her to visit while my husband is gone, and we could take walks in the beautiful park right by my house together. I'm either blatantly ignored when I make these welcoming gestures, or given the equivalent of, "ya, ya, ya, wait, why are you still here?"
So then we go up to the nursery. Our little town house has three rooms, two of which are connected. The two connected are ours closest to the hall, and then the nursery through our room. I had tidied everything up to be MIL appropriate (for me bedrooms are a super personal space). So we took her through our room and into the nursery. As she was looking around, she said, "Oh, so this is where we can come right after you get back!" To which I responded, "No, we'll be downstairs to meet her." Blank stare. My husband gently says, "Yes, we're actually going to take a little bit of time before we have visits,so it will probably be a day or two. We'll send an email to parents and siblings so everyone knows we're safe, and it will have a better time frame for visits as at that point, we'll know how labor and everything else went." More blank stare. Then defensive face, growing crazy eyes, and slowly rising pitch voice, "Well not me though. I'm special. I'll be here right away. You'll give me a phone call. And your father. I expect that. I expect a phone call." My husband stays calm, and reiterates what he just said. She just keeps repeating that she's special (Dear God, yes, we already know you're special. Why do you think we feel we have to do it this way?). That we'll want her there. That she can bring groceries and meals. Woman can't cook anything but popcorn to save her life, and her idea of grocery shopping is going to the terrible local chain and buying prepared foods, half and half, and those pre-separated egg whites. And she has never once showed interest in being helpful in any productive way. She just sits around and demands my husband entertain her. Why would I ever have the testing ground for change be moments after giving birth? Anyway, that's what my amazing organic grocery shopping and cooking team, boundaries respecting, treat my husband like the son they never had parents are for.
After this she just went into denial mode, where she just repeats the same command ("I'm special. I'll be there right away.") over and over then changes the subject as though that has set us straight. I know she's going to flip out when she finds out my parents have been there first. But I want my mom for "lady help," and as my dad was an involved father and husband, he, unlike MIL, is under no illusion that he will be upstairs hanging out with us while I figure out how to breast feed (when I gave this as a reason for space to my MIL her response was "If you can." Honey, my boobs haven't gone up 10 cup sizes for me to say, "Oh well!" after a couple of hours). My husband wants my parents there for moral support. I also know that this is in no way the last conversation we will have with my MIL on this matter. But first round down. My dad half jokingly told me and my husband that we had better wait to send the baby update email with all of her stats until after we get home from the midwife center as otherwise, I'll be limping exhausted and beat up toward the house with a newborn only to find her waiting at the door to jump at us. We may do phone calls if we're feeling OK, but we've learned not to say will do something that we absolutely can't guarantee, as, for example, if labor was long and hard and we just wanted to send an email and pass out, no grace would be given. So the saga continues...
jefinley1 this sounds so much like my MIL, it's SCARY!! even down to the type of grocery shopping- which is terrible to me because I eat pretty "clean" and organic!
We will invite both sets of grandparents to see the baby in the hospital once we are ready (I want AT LEAST an hour or two alone) and nobody can be in the waiting room. My parents will be staying with us for a week after the baby is here for moral support. And once my parents leave, I know I will want time to try to get things situated on my own. I'm sure the whole idea of this drives my MIL CRAZY but this is a decision my husband and I made together.
@taralohse Haha! Yes! I'm like a drive the whole way to Whole Foods because the produce is good and they have whole wheat pasta person. She likes the local grocery store's prepared buffalo dip.
We might have allowed her a quick visit sooner if we were in a controlled environment like a hospital where she could just pop in, say hi, then head out, more for our own peace to shut her up than anything else. But since we'll be in our home doing everything ourselves (aside from my glorious parents as soon as they can get here), we just feel way more vulnerable and like it will be impossible to get her to leave if it's right away and she'll want to be entertained.
jefinley1 oh my gosh, again, I can relate! My parents will be there and will be willing to help with everything! They will do laundry, cook, clean, anything to help us. My MIL would sit her butt on my couch and expect me to take care of her! She will not lift a finger. On top of that, she will probably demand to hold my baby the whole time - which is the only thing I WANT to be doing!
@taralohse Exactly! Every time someone tries to be like, "Oh don't deprive grandparents of meeting their grandchildren right away! They're excited too!" I'm like hey, you are more than welcome to have my MIL come and visit you right away if you want. She's all yours! Please, enjoy. Imma just be sittin' over here in my bedroom in peace on my ice pack with my shirt off trying to make sure my nipples don't bleed while baby girl gets acquainted with me and her daddy and I try to figure this whole breastfeeding thing out. This experience made possible by: My MIL not being there yet.
Thanks for empathizing! It's good to laugh about it. Has your MIL given you and your husband any push back on your plan? Do you have a strategy for breaching it if you haven't talk to her about it yet?
jefinley1 I totally understand!! This is a special time for you and your husband - without your MIL hovering!!
Yes, we have gotten lots of push back but we just keep repeating ourselves. My husband said if she continues to disagree then we won't bother calling her when I'm in labor at all. She keeps saying "we can't keep her away from that baby." If she chooses to ignore our wishes this early on with our child, the only person that is going to end up hurt is her because we won't trust her.
Unfortunately, I do not have a MIL. I hear she was the nicest woman, though.
A few weeks ago we were at a family BBQ and everyone was gushing over my tummy so I was the center of attention for a bit. Not my cuppa tea but all the love was very, very nice.
A little while later I inadvertently walked past a group of them talking about not being married before kids. We are not married but have been together for ten years.
My Fiance's sister said....'Techincally IIIII was married before my kids were born.' She was married right before she was ready to pop with her first, but I'm not one to judge about things like that. I felt like it was a shot at me but whateverrererrrrrrr! lol
@gograce Very rude, I thought. Thank goodness I have a thick skin and just shrugged it off but that doesn't stop me from noticing rude crap. My fiance's response was, 'You know my sister's a jealous bitch so just ignore her.' )
Re: SH*T my MIL Says..
My parents have a Halloween party each year a week or two before halloween. My dad decided against it this year since that's when I'm due. My mom, apparently not happy with his decision, told me that I should agree to come to the party so he would still have it. Yeah, because as tempting as it is, to take my potentially few day old baby to your party where there will be loud music and your drunk friends will want to pass her around, Umm no. Her response, "but you'll probably feel like getting out and having some fun once you're home for a day or two". Really?
Then she asked me what she needs for the baby at her house. We were gifted a pack n play, that she insisted on keeping, along with a few other baby items, so I told her other than that I couldn't think of anything. She decides that she needs to get a dresser for her room so she'll have a place to keep clothes and diapers and will be able to put a changing pad on top. She also lists off other things including a diaper genie. So then, my grandpa builds furniture and offered to build a dresser for the nursery. My mom acted put off that he was going to make the dresser for the nursery before she would be able to have one made for the baby at her house.
She then tells me this week that she can't believe how much she has to do and purchase to get her house ready and she just realized she only has 4 months. Now, I don't need my mom to buy things for the baby or do for her at my house, but it is a little off putting to me that she hasn't offered to help us with anything, but feels the need to turn her whole house into babyville and keep items that were given that were supposed to be passed on to us.
All of this from the woman who told me last year that she just can't understand all of her coworkers, because they come to work tired from keeping and spending time with their grandchildren and how she just can't imagine wanting to care for a baby again, especially one that isn't hers.
Sigh. I know it's long, but I'm just not sure what to say to her when these topics come up.
So now I'm 23 weeks and I was with them yesterday and they went on and on about how disappointed they were that we were only having one. I just smiled because it's no use talking to them about why it's really awesome that we have one healthy baby on the way, as they were convinced that it would be twins. It really did hurt my feelings though. I can't talk to my DH about it anymore because he gets so defensive of them and just tells me to get over it because they have no filter and speak their minds.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm especially sorry that your husband isn't stepping in and telling his parents to stop with their BS.
When my MIL hurts my feelings, I've got a hard time saying anything because I know she doesn't mean it. I bring it up to my husband and he tells her, "Hey, mom, you hurt Grace's feelings with this thing you said because..." She apologizes and everything is good.
I'm sorry your husband doesn't do this for you. Your MIL should recognize that our feelings are more easily hurt during pregnancy. Especially if it's been brought up before.
I'm so happy for you and your healthy baby though!
My husband said stuff to them in the beginning, especially when it was a big issue and his dad was cracking jokes on how it took us forever to get pregnant (we had trouble). They stopped for a while. But they like to say things when he's not around because they know I'm too polite to say anything. I hate to drag him into it again, he's got enough on his plate as it is and he's been really awesome about letting me quit my job because it was a bad situation and the stress was bad for me and the baby.
They were like this during the wedding too. They love to control. I don't know why they were so convinced that it would be twins. I've told them repeatedly, "Be grateful, I have friends who have been trying for years to get pregnant and they too would be happy with just one. "
MIL: Well she has lots of extra insulation.
OMG! I would decline the shower with a pleasant "No, thank you." And make sure your husband is aware of your feelings.mi would never let someone like that throw me a shower.
Preg #1 - PTL @ 23.5 weeks - angel in heaven (Addison Margaret)
I would be lvid. Next time they reference twins, I would say something like, "Most normal grandparents would be thrilled to be having one grandchild. Thank goodness I have my parents, who could not be more excited." And then walk out of the room.
Preg #1 - PTL @ 23.5 weeks - angel in heaven (Addison Margaret)