I told my MIL I was breastfeeding and that it would be a while before she could take him overnight... Her response was "why are you doing that, Formula was made so you don't have to" ... UHMM what ?!
My mom was really supportive of me trying to bf my first. She said it was very taboo and formula was strongly encouraged not only by society but by doctors as well when I was born, so I could see why your MI would carry this mentality. Hopefully, she'll respect your decision and leave her comment at that.
I told my MIL I was breastfeeding and that it would be a while before she could take him overnight... Her response was "why are you doing that, Formula was made so you don't have to" ... UHMM what ?!
My mom was really supportive of me trying to bf my first. She said it was very taboo and formula was strongly encouraged not only by society but by doctors as well when I was born, so I could see why your MI would carry this mentality. Hopefully, she'll respect your decision and leave her comment at that.
My mother didn't breastfeed any of us, but she was okay with breastfeeding me first, she was confused but okay. My MIL is all like why, just use formula... I figured older people would be all over breastfeeding ! Makes sense now ! Thanks !!
But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
Hahaha I just thought of another one! My mom called me maybe a week after we had bought our house to give me a heads up that my MIL was calling everyone trying to convince them to all make a surprise trip together and "ambush us for Christmas." Christmas was 10 days after we moved. So her plan was to get my Mom, Dad, brother, BIL, 4 of DH Aunts, our 2 year old niece and my BIL's gf/fiance/ex/gf again to come over uninvited and unannounced to our home we hadn't even unpacked yet. Thank GOD no one agreed to doing that with her! I told my mom I would have very openly lost it if ELEVEN people just showed up.
My MIL isn't a horrible human being, and sometimes she's quite lovely. She's a generous gift-giver, a good cook who loves to host family, and she crochets lots of things for her grandkids.
But she's also very opinionated and set in her ways, and sometimes says very ignorant and even racist things. A couple weeks ago, we had gone to the IL's house for DS's 2nd birthday. My husband read something on Facebook about a family whose house had been raided by a SWAT team and their toddler was killed in the process, and the police got a away with it. Oh yeah and the family was black.
My MIL said, "well statistics show that black people commit more crimes."
I was like, (in my head), WTF?! Oh you mean more black people get arrested? Or maybe more crimes happen in poor neighborhoods, where minority populations are higher because of housing/education/work discrimination? I was mad!
She's also made comments about the neighborhood where DH and I live. It isn't the greatest neighborhood and it also happens that white families tend to be in the minority there. My IL's keep asking when we're going to move.
My ILs are somewhat ignorant of how hard it is for some families to survive, too. My FIL is an engineer and makes good money, they live in a huge, gorgeous house they had built for them 20 years ago . . . Unlike my family, who have to
But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
Mine says the same thing. My thoughts are that you can show up at my house any time you like, but that doesn't mean that I will answer the door
But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
.
My ILs are somewhat ignorant of how hard it is for some families to survive, too. My FIL is an engineer and makes good money, they live in a huge, gorgeous house they had built for them 20 years ago . . . Unlike my family, who have to
I am not sure what the rest of this story was, but YES! My in laws are really well off. They had a custom home built as well, just 2 years ago. The recently got back from a trip that cost 1600 bucks a night! But yet, they wonder why my DH can't ask for days off on the weekends, because they don't understand a job that won't just allow you to do whatever you want. I'm like look, if it means we are out a whole day of pay just to attend a party, please understand, it's not like you are going to make up his wages for that day.
Oh I have no prob with my MIL, though I do have some with my mom and sis. Well, they don't like my hubby very much because he isn't the "prince charming" they wanted for me. Heck! I don't care. We love each other and we're having a baby boy to glue us closer together than ever!
Haha i dont have a crazy MIL- well, i do but fiance has nothing to do with her and that suits me fine
I do, however, have a d!ckhead father! When we announced my pregnancy he had a couple of questions..
Q1: whos the father?? A1: quite obviously my fiance..
Q2: are you keeping it?? A1: well, i was to taken aback to answer at first!
Now he is telling us what cot the baby should have, questioning why a 12 week scan took nearly an hour, telling me he will be there when the baby is born after ive made it clear that isn't going to happen (i can 100% guarantee he WONT BE!!), amd demanding we don't find out babys gender (we find out in 4 days eeekk)
I am not married yet but the father of my child's mother us so nasty. I went and showed her the sonogram picture she said " what are you showing me for? Oh and he is leaving anyways" I had to take a moment then I said I just wanted you to see it. She has this God complex she feels she can say and do anything to anybody she has called me out of my name so I try not to even engage her with her wickedness. She feels like if she has ever helped or done anything for you she runs you and can talk about your children as if they are animals. Thank God I never needed anything nor have gotten anything but gas money from driving her smokey self around. She even told her son I'm pinning a baby on him. First I'm not that type of person but if I would ever loose my mind and do such a thing it would be with someone who was making the same income as me or more and not her child. Ugh Yes at some point he will be leaving unless he renews his green card or becomes a citizen.
I absolutely love this thread, I was blessed with an extremely controlling and passive aggressive MIL bless her heart. Before we had even conceived or thought of trying we were talking about family planning, and she informed me I needed to "get pregnant with twins the first time and be done with it". Just like she had done. When I told her that I think I would like to be pregnant more than once in my life she informed me that I was insane. I also had made the mistake in past years of sharing hypothetical names that i favored. Stella was my all time #1 pick for a girl and my hubby agreed in a millisecond. I was so excited and confident to share the name. What did my MIL do...bought a puppy 3 weeks later and named the damn dog Stella!! :-??
She really purchased a dog and gave it your daughters name. That's extreme passive aggressive. Now if being petty wasn't wrong I would have gotten a pug and named it after her and even asked her to baby sit my pug puppy lol.
Its so irritating to me that all these MILs say things they know are hurtful. You would think they would only want to be nice and supportive considering we are the ones going thru this pregnancy & they know how it feels to be pregnant. My MIL just doesnt think sometimes before she speaks. She only speaks Spanish & I think sometimes she doesn't realize I can understand her. My husband and I were over & he was telling her the names we were thinking before we knew the sex. For a girl it was Molly, for a boy it was Isaiah. She tried to say both names but couldn't pronounce either correctly. Then continues to look disgusted and say "oh god" right in front of my face? My FIL even looked at her like why would you say that. I'm sorry last time I checked it was my child not yours.. she had her own name picked out and swore it was a boy. Every time she would come up to my stomach she would call my baby Moses..
Its so irritating to me that all these MILs say things they know are hurtful. You would think they would only want to be nice and supportive considering we are the ones going thru this pregnancy & they know how it feels to be pregnant. My MIL just doesnt think sometimes before she speaks. She only speaks Spanish & I think sometimes she doesn't realize I can understand her. My husband and I were over & he was telling her the names we were thinking before we knew the sex. For a girl it was Molly, for a boy it was Isaiah. She tried to say both names but couldn't pronounce either correctly. Then continues to look disgusted and say "oh god" right in front of my face? My FIL even looked at her like why would you say that. I'm sorry last time I checked it was my child not yours.. she had her own name picked out and swore it was a boy. Every time she would come up to my stomach she would call my baby Moses..
Moses? Really? Bless you! And I was annoyed that my SIL has shared our baby's name with the in-laws before we got a chance to do it. My husband told my SIL without me knowing. He didn't think it was a big deal and I guess in the big picture its not. I just didn't want to announce it til his birth.
my MIL has always made passive aggressive comments throughout our entire relationship, which has always bothered me, but we are both very family oriented, so I try to ignore it. BUT now being pregnant, she is on my nerves more than anything. She is always trying to touch my belly, which is fine..I dont really mind, but its always at the most random times, like Ill be walking by her and she just like grabs me. I dont know, she just annoys me!
Pahahaha I had coworkers and customers do that during my first pregnancy. Soooooo annoying because, I mean, it's still my stomach you weirdo. Ask. Damn.
I won't share the worst quotes, simply because they generally involve the intricate and absurd inner-workings of my life right now, and giving the contextual background necessary for them would take up too much space. It would end up being a short story. An amusing one, but a short story nonetheless.
I can't tell you how much better these stories and one-liners made me feel though. Not that I'm glad everyone else has a hard time too, but sometimes, I check myself, wondering if my MIL is nasty because I'm not trying hard enough. This affirmed for me that some people are just crazy and they made me laugh. I read a couple to my husband, and they had a similar effect on him. Commiseration is a wonderful thing.
I will say this however: When my parents drove three hours, and I five, so they could meet my MIL for the first time in her home city (which is where I now live, heaven help me), she asked them, upon meeting them, what their names were and what they were doing in town. Obviously my husband had told her both of these things multiple times. Then during dinner, which my husband, then fiancé, had prepared to celebrate our engagement, she proceeded to talk about how he was a late bloomer and he should really already be married and have a kid at least by now. My parents, who really like my husband, just looked at each other incredulously, as they were obviously quite pleased he hadn't found someone else and had kids yet.
I used to get really upset about the things she would say and do, but recently, I've started thinking that maybe a collection of humorously written short stories about her would actually be a better channel. Then the stress could at least provide me with some amusement as well.
I absolutely love this thread, I was blessed with an extremely controlling and passive aggressive MIL bless her heart. Before we had even conceived or thought of trying we were talking about family planning, and she informed me I needed to "get pregnant with twins the first time and be done with it". Just like she had done. When I told her that I think I would like to be pregnant more than once in my life she informed me that I was insane. I also had made the mistake in past years of sharing hypothetical names that i favored. Stella was my all time #1 pick for a girl and my hubby agreed in a millisecond. I was so excited and confident to share the name. What did my MIL do...bought a puppy 3 weeks later and named the damn dog Stella!! :-??
She really purchased a dog and gave it your daughters name. That's extreme passive aggressive. Now if being petty wasn't wrong I would have gotten a pug and named it after her and even asked her to baby sit my pug puppy lol.
Ahahaha that's too perfect! Thank you for that laugh!
Unfortunately Yes she did, and we are team green so we aren't sure of the sex yet, but we had told her both our boy and girl name. Us being team green is also a huge issue for her and she is convinced we are having a boy... She also claims the reason wasn't because I suggested the name rather that she had called my SIL that name while she played college tennis. My SIL's name is Jennifer...not sure where a NN of Stella fell in there. I just smiled sweetly and told her if we are blessed with a little girl she will be around a lot longer than the dog
One of the latest with my MIL has to do with my baby shower. She is upset that she can't throw me one in her town. My sisters-in-law are throwing me one in my hometown which is way closer to where I live. She said to let them know she would love to help whenever they start planning. I told her I would certainly let them know whenever they started planning. Two days later my mom and my sister-in-law contact me separately letting me know they she has texted/fb messaged them about helping and that she was upset that I didn't want her to throw me a shower because I was too shy.
Anyone who knows me, knows I'm definitely not shy; my mom and SIL thought this was hilarious. And I gave her two logical reasons why it wasn't a good idea: 1) my doctor said no more than 6 hours of travel during the time she wanted to do it and she lives 8 hours away and 2) Most of DH's family lives closer to my hometown anyway so its more convenient for both sides of the family to come to the one shower. I also suggested that if she would really like to do something/celebrate that maybe a couple months after baby arrives we could come up there and she could throw a meet the baby bbq or something. That way she can invite her friends and still throw a party. But, no...she can't be logical. She has to go behind my back to my family and make up a lie. I can't understand her for the life of me.
@slhawkins25 she either really loved the name or really hated it and didn't want that to be her granddaughters name. I think I would of told her to rename her dog, or I would just keep calling it a different name. We won't post our sons name on social media or tell many people it, for the reason either people will use it, or try and judge it.
@amberrmariee20 yes I definitely think you've hit the nail right on the head! That is also why we now refuse to share any names or even the sex which drives her mad. I do often make up names for the pup or just say 'here girl'. She cringes every time lol
I won't share the worst quotes, simply because they generally involve the intricate and absurd inner-workings of my life right now, and giving the contextual background necessary for them would take up too much space. It would end up being a short story. An amusing one, but a short story nonetheless.
I can't tell you how much better these stories and one-liners made me feel though. Not that I'm glad everyone else has a hard time too, but sometimes, I check myself, wondering if my MIL is nasty because I'm not trying hard enough. This affirmed for me that some people are just crazy and they made me laugh. I read a couple to my husband, and they had a similar effect on him. Commiseration is a wonderful thing.
I will say this however: When my parents drove three hours, and I five, so they could meet my MIL for the first time in her home city (which is where I now live, heaven help me), she asked them, upon meeting them, what their names were and what they were doing in town. Obviously my husband had told her both of these things multiple times. Then during dinner, which my husband, then fiancé, had prepared to celebrate our engagement, she proceeded to talk about how he was a late bloomer and he should really already be married and have a kid at least by now. My parents, who really like my husband, just looked at each other incredulously, as they were obviously quite pleased he hadn't found someone else and had kids yet.
I used to get really upset about the things she would say and do, but recently, I've started thinking that maybe a collection of humorously written short stories about her would actually be a better channel. Then the stress could at least provide me with some amusement as well.
Clicking love it wasn't enough, I had to comment! Your mil sounds like mine with forgetting who's ultrasound we were sending? Wtf. The latest was this weekend when my husband called (I should have just put my headphones on) and I stupidly got engaged in a convo about where the baby is going to sleep (I am worried about our cat) and she proceeded to tell me a story where "only idiots think that cats hurt babies." Umm ok. I truly despise that woman.
Maybe I'll take your suggestion and start a humorous short story collection. God help me with this woman.
I just want to say thank GOD there are so many of us putting up with this crap together. I am grateful my MIL lives 11.5 hours away but sometimes even that is not enough. Let's keep this thread alive. I'm sure there will be plenty more in the future. We will be visiting my in-laws for Independence Day and I'm sure I'll come out of that visit with all kinds of good stuff.
I won't share the worst quotes, simply because they generally involve the intricate and absurd inner-workings of my life right now, and giving the contextual background necessary for them would take up too much space. It would end up being a short story. An amusing one, but a short story nonetheless.
I can't tell you how much better these stories and one-liners made me feel though. Not that I'm glad everyone else has a hard time too, but sometimes, I check myself, wondering if my MIL is nasty because I'm not trying hard enough. This affirmed for me that some people are just crazy and they made me laugh. I read a couple to my husband, and they had a similar effect on him. Commiseration is a wonderful thing.
I will say this however: When my parents drove three hours, and I five, so they could meet my MIL for the first time in her home city (which is where I now live, heaven help me), she asked them, upon meeting them, what their names were and what they were doing in town. Obviously my husband had told her both of these things multiple times. Then during dinner, which my husband, then fiancé, had prepared to celebrate our engagement, she proceeded to talk about how he was a late bloomer and he should really already be married and have a kid at least by now. My parents, who really like my husband, just looked at each other incredulously, as they were obviously quite pleased he hadn't found someone else and had kids yet.
I used to get really upset about the things she would say and do, but recently, I've started thinking that maybe a collection of humorously written short stories about her would actually be a better channel. Then the stress could at least provide me with some amusement as well.
Clicking love it wasn't enough, I had to comment! Your mil sounds like mine with forgetting who's ultrasound we were sending? Wtf. The latest was this weekend when my husband called (I should have just put my headphones on) and I stupidly got engaged in a convo about where the baby is going to sleep (I am worried about our cat) and she proceeded to tell me a story where "only idiots think that cats hurt babies." Umm ok. I truly despise that woman.
Maybe I'll take your suggestion and start a humorous short story collection. God help me with this woman.
Oh my God. Your ultrasound? Hahaha. The playing dumb and artfully passive aggressive thing is what drives me nuts. She's sly, and she's careful about who hears what comments, so it is really hard to be direct and call her out. Even if you do it textbook the way a psychologist would tell you to, she pretends to be offended that you would ever think she would mean or say whatever it was and puts on this wounded dove act to throw it back. So she ends up being the attacked victim. Or she gets so indignantly and poutily self-righteous that it's hard not to wonder in the moment if you're actually in the wrong. The next big events are a housewarming for my SIL this weekend and then my baby shower at my parents' house the following one. I'm most curious to see if they have actually respected the fact that we are only telling the sex of the baby to parents and siblings until the shower. My SIL has already posted our ultrasound pictures in her office (I feel pretty violated to have my uterus on display at a fracking company, but that's not a battle I'm fighting) and was referring to baby as her "niecephew" there until she found out the sex. My MIL's first response to "don't tell anyone" was, "but of course I can tell Aunt-so-and-so." This housewarming will be a mix of our family and my SIL's friends so I'm curious to see how it plays out. I've decided that if some random person comes up and congratulates us on a baby girl, I'm just going to give the benefit of the doubt and respond, "Oh, we aren't telling anyone what the sex is yet, but way to guess! My Grandmas don't even know!" Then watch the awkward look on their face when they realize that someone blabbed something they weren't supposed to.
I love this post, it makes me feel like I'm not alone in the crazy in law struggle. Things have gotten so bad, I'm not sure I want them even near our baby. I can't handle their asinine drama any longer, they dig themselves a hole an expect me and my husband to dig them out of every problem they get into. We used to have a great relationship, and I pray things get better soon.
This is my second baby (my oldest is almost 10) and my husband's first. This is also the first baby on his side of the family. My MIL *INSISTED* on a shower even though I was uncomfortable with the idea since I believe it's bad etiquette. I finally agreed under the condition that it be just her family (with my immediate family members) and there be no repeats from people who attended my first shower. I felt that was reasonable and was a decent compromise. I also asked her to keep it small since crowds make me anxious, especially where I'm the center of attention. Our wedding was only about 50 guests and I gave her the list from the wedding to go off, since it was very close friends and immediate family. Fast forward to this weekend... my mother calls me to give me a heads up that there are 76 people on the guest list! WTF?! I was already starting to get anxious so I had my hubby call my MIL. He thanked her for offering to host and reminded her how anxious I get around crowds, especially knowing that I've never met more than half these people. Her response? "How do you know she's not just making it up?" Well, I suppose when I have a panic attack and don't make it through the door she will figure out I'm not faking.
The other great one was my FIL. He is insistent that we got pregnant before we were married and are lying about my due date. Not a huge deal except that we were married on September 26th. Either I'm due in just a few weeks and I'm super tiny, his math sucks, or I have the gestation period of an elephant. I guess time will tell!
My monster in law has just hit a new all time low. She took my older 3 kids to the movies this weekend and proceeded to tell them (15,11,8) all the things that can go wrong because of my advanced maternal age, diabetes (type 1 so I had it with past pregnancies too), and I am overweight. I had no idea this happened and couldn't figure out why my kids wouldn't leave my side for the past couple of days. My DS2 finally started crying today because I was in the shower in my master bath with my bedroom door locked and didn't answer him when he knocked to check on me. He is 8! My DH is ready to sever all ties to his side of the family. This may have been the straw that breaks the camels back.
@mom4liak omg!! I can't believe she found that to be an appropriate topic of discussion. Your kids are worried sick now! I don't blame yall for considering severing ties. I can handle my MIL when her ridiculous actions only affect me. But, when you start having a negative impact on my children, my claws come out. I am NOT a confrontational person but I, my husband and MIL have found I am one mean mama bear. You don't mess with someone's children emotionally or physically.
So every one has there crazy mother inlaws I want to know how to deal with one because mine just refuses to acknowledge anything I say I say I don't want a bassinet she brings and bassinet blanket over says its for the pram but I brought sleeping bag thing I'd rather her call and ask things we need rather then buying things I don't we had fight over bassinet and me not wanting to use one she didn't agree and I wonder if she does these things to get a reaction or purely coincidental ?? Mind you thins isn't the first time sometimes I think it's me being mean and hormonal like she wants he friend to come to my baby shower which my mum sister holding and asked if she could I said no only close family and friends and boyfriend agreed he was quite mad at her for even asking because she's making our pregnancy about herself and we told her sex she wants to make first birthday cake who's thinking that far ahead she stated first in best dress that way I get to do it. She also touches my stomach which makes me go crazy I asked her not to she said she was its nana and had and she had evey right to so I honestly think it's her I am not a nasty person and dislike fighting with her ect and I constantly have fil offering for my mil to look after our baby so I can go back to work or dump it off at there place to get some sleep like honestly the amount of times they offered it to me it pissed me off I'm having this child and my boyfriend and I will take resonsability for her and if I need help I'll ask my mum I'm just wanting ways to cope I've taken a step back and doesn't seem like enough it still does my head in
I am so sorry for you ladies. My MIL is a little bit of a ding-bat, but she is by no means offensive, overbearing, or inside my personal space. I don't know how I'd even feel if she touched my belly uninvited. I hope it gets better for all of you mamas out there who are dealing with MILs who just don't seem to remember what it's like carrying a child.
Not my MIL but my SIL on why she didn't want to hold DD at 6 months old. "It's nothing personal, I just hate babies. I even hated my own children when they were babies." Who says that?!
But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
Wow. You would think that you and I shared a MIL because my MIL does the exact same things! She's very dramatic and high strung.
She also assumes that our son will be spending a lot of time at her house because my sister in law shares custody of her son and everytime she has him, he ends up at my in law's house. She's constantly making comments about how she's glad they got some traveling out of the way before this other baby comes. Ummm. No. Im responsible and I will not be pawning my child off on you. Leaving my child there without my or my husband's supervision will probably be a last resort. Partially because she also likes to drink in excess almost every single weekend. She likes to get crazy and act like she's still in her teens/early 20s. In fact she refers to our friends and my husband's friends as her friends.
In addition to that, since we told her about our pregnancy she has referred to our child as hers -__-. Constantly using comments like "we've got a baby on the way" or "my baby is going to be so handsome" when speaking to people about OUR BABY. She also assumes that because my husband "looks just like her" that our baby will look just like my husband and her. She is always saying how her side of the family have such strong, dominant genes. She was making it seem as if the only part im playing is carrying the child. As if I had no part in creating this child and that my genes dont play a part in what hes going to look like. One day she went on and on about it and I got so frustrated. My husband had a very stern conversation with her about it and the end result was her crying and walking out of the restaurant.
With that said, i think she does what she does because she's extremely excited for this baby. My husband is her only child by blood (she has step children), and they're very close. I cant fault her for being excited but it can be a little much sometimes. My MIL is great most of the time, but some of the things she's said/done during the course of this pregnancy have driven me up a wall! I often wonder how my husband turned out the way he did. He is so laidback and and they're very different. All of this will be worth it when im holding my little man for the first time!
But the recent ones are: she's just going to "show up" once the baby arrives and how I "can't keep her away from that baby."
I can 100% guarantee that she will be THAT guest that comes over and expects to hold the baby the whole time and be treated like a guest, instead of being GRANDMA and helping us as new parents. My husband has already been warned of what will happen if this occurs.
Wow. You would think that you and I shared a MIL because my MIL does the exact same things! She's very dramatic and high strung.
She also assumes that our son will be spending a lot of time at her house because my sister in law shares custody of her son and everytime she has him, he ends up at my in law's house. She's constantly making comments about how she's glad they got some traveling out of the way before this other baby comes. Ummm. No. Im responsible and I will not be pawning my child off on you. Leaving my child there without my or my husband's supervision will probably be a last resort. Partially because she also likes to drink in excess almost every single weekend. She likes to get crazy and act like she's still in her teens/early 20s. In fact she refers to our friends and my husband's friends as her friends.
In addition to that, since we told her about our pregnancy she has referred to our child as hers -__-. Constantly using comments like "we've got a baby on the way" or "my baby is going to be so handsome" when speaking to people about OUR BABY. She also assumes that because my husband "looks just like her" that our baby will look just like my husband and her. She is always saying how her side of the family have such strong, dominant genes. She was making it seem as if the only part im playing is carrying the child. As if I had no part in creating this child and that my genes dont play a part in what hes going to look like. One day she went on and on about it and I got so frustrated. My husband had a very stern conversation with her about it and the end result was her crying and walking out of the restaurant.
With that said, i think she does what she does because she's extremely excited for this baby. My husband is her only child by blood (she has step children), and they're very close. I cant fault her for being excited but it can be a little much sometimes. My MIL is great most of the time, but some of the things she's said/done during the course of this pregnancy have driven me up a wall! I often wonder how my husband turned out the way he did. He is so laidback and and they're very different. All of this will be worth it when im holding my little man for the first time!
I never say anything but it secretly bothers me too when my MIL says how much our daughter has HER hair, HER eyes, HER whatever. In my head I'm like "No, you dumbass, she actually has her father's eyes and MY hair." But I just smile and say "sure." It's what lead to her "Oh, she's never going to have pretty hair. It's just how the hair is on my side. So get ready for that." I said "Well she's actually got my hair so I'm sure it will be quite beautiful." Just stfu.
Omg I love you ladies.....I'm surrounded by crazy on all sides lol! So my SIL had a baby last Oct and my MIL refuses to put him down, she makes us be quiet when he is napping.....I got yelled at for sneezing! When we agreed on the name Declan for this baby she made it a racist joke saying ..."run its DE Clan!" Like the clan....pissed me off so we changed the spelling to Declynn
don't get me wrong I love my MIL and I'm blessed to have her and get along so well with her but I swear she's acting like I have to do everything exactly the way she did when she was pregnant.. and she said to me once, "just make sure you always dress nicely" Uhhhhhhhhh what's that supposed to mean?!
Oh my MIL. First off I wouldn't be able to stand her vioce in the delivery room so we already said she couldn't be there. But some of her comments "I've never heard of pregnancy brain before you can't possiably blame your forgetfulness on the baby." I have slightly brown red hair due to my Irish scotish heritage, me and my husband were talking and I said our baby boy could have red hair, MIL said " I hope your baby doesn't have red hair that would be ugly." Almost flew off the handle on that one.
Re: SH*T my MIL Says..
But she's also very opinionated and set in her ways, and sometimes says very ignorant and even racist things. A couple weeks ago, we had gone to the IL's house for DS's 2nd birthday. My husband read something on Facebook about a family whose house had been raided by a SWAT team and their toddler was killed in the process, and the police got a away with it. Oh yeah and the family was black.
My MIL said, "well statistics show that black people commit more crimes."
I was like, (in my head), WTF?! Oh you mean more black people get arrested? Or maybe more crimes happen in poor neighborhoods, where minority populations are higher because of housing/education/work discrimination? I was mad!
She's also made comments about the neighborhood where DH and I live. It isn't the greatest neighborhood and it also happens that white families tend to be in the minority there. My IL's keep asking when we're going to move.
My ILs are somewhat ignorant of how hard it is for some families to survive, too. My FIL is an engineer and makes good money, they live in a huge, gorgeous house they had built for them 20 years ago . . . Unlike my family, who have to
Mine says the same thing. My thoughts are that you can show up at my house any time you like, but that doesn't mean that I will answer the door
I do, however, have a d!ckhead father!
When we announced my pregnancy he had a couple of questions..
Q1: whos the father?? A1: quite obviously my fiance..
Q2: are you keeping it?? A1: well, i was to taken aback to answer at first!
Now he is telling us what cot the baby should have, questioning why a 12 week scan took nearly an hour, telling me he will be there when the baby is born after ive made it clear that isn't going to happen (i can 100% guarantee he WONT BE!!), amd demanding we don't find out babys gender (we find out in 4 days eeekk)
LOL! But, I think he's also excited considering him wanting to be there when your baby is born
He also said he didn't think my fiance would stick around.. Coming from the man who was divorced from my mother by the time i was 4. Lol. Xx
She really purchased a dog and gave it your daughters name. That's extreme passive aggressive. Now if being petty wasn't wrong I would have gotten a pug and named it after her and even asked her to baby sit my pug puppy lol.
Unfortunately Yes she did, and we are team green so we aren't sure of the sex yet, but we had told her both our boy and girl name. Us being team green is also a huge issue for her and she is convinced we are having a boy...
She also claims the reason wasn't because I suggested the name rather that she had called my SIL that name while she played college tennis. My SIL's name is Jennifer...not sure where a NN of Stella fell in there.
I just smiled sweetly and told her if we are blessed with a little girl she will be around a lot longer than the dog
Maybe I'll take your suggestion and start a humorous short story collection. God help me with this woman.
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
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This is my second baby (my oldest is almost 10) and my husband's first. This is also the first baby on his side of the family. My MIL *INSISTED* on a shower even though I was uncomfortable with the idea since I believe it's bad etiquette. I finally agreed under the condition that it be just her family (with my immediate family members) and there be no repeats from people who attended my first shower. I felt that was reasonable and was a decent compromise. I also asked her to keep it small since crowds make me anxious, especially where I'm the center of attention. Our wedding was only about 50 guests and I gave her the list from the wedding to go off, since it was very close friends and immediate family. Fast forward to this weekend... my mother calls me to give me a heads up that there are 76 people on the guest list! WTF?! I was already starting to get anxious so I had my hubby call my MIL. He thanked her for offering to host and reminded her how anxious I get around crowds, especially knowing that I've never met more than half these people. Her response? "How do you know she's not just making it up?" Well, I suppose when I have a panic attack and don't make it through the door she will figure out I'm not faking.
The other great one was my FIL. He is insistent that we got pregnant before we were married and are lying about my due date. Not a huge deal except that we were married on September 26th. Either I'm due in just a few weeks and I'm super tiny, his math sucks, or I have the gestation period of an elephant. I guess time will tell!
I had no idea this happened and couldn't figure out why my kids wouldn't leave my side for the past couple of days. My DS2 finally started crying today because I was in the shower in my master bath with my bedroom door locked and didn't answer him when he knocked to check on me. He is 8!
My DH is ready to sever all ties to his side of the family. This may have been the straw that breaks the camels back.
I hope it gets better for all of you mamas out there who are dealing with MILs who just don't seem to remember what it's like carrying a child.
She also assumes that our son will be spending a lot of time at her house because my sister in law shares custody of her son and everytime she has him, he ends up at my in law's house. She's constantly making comments about how she's glad they got some traveling out of the way before this other baby comes. Ummm. No. Im responsible and I will not be pawning my child off on you. Leaving my child there without my or my husband's supervision will probably be a last resort. Partially because she also likes to drink in excess almost every single weekend. She likes to get crazy and act like she's still in her teens/early 20s. In fact she refers to our friends and my husband's friends as her friends.
In addition to that, since we told her about our pregnancy she has referred to our child as hers -__-. Constantly using comments like "we've got a baby on the way" or "my baby is going to be so handsome" when speaking to people about OUR BABY. She also assumes that because my husband "looks just like her" that our baby will look just like my husband and her. She is always saying how her side of the family have such strong, dominant genes. She was making it seem as if the only part im playing is carrying the child. As if I had no part in creating this child and that my genes dont play a part in what hes going to look like. One day she went on and on about it and I got so frustrated. My husband had a very stern conversation with her about it and the end result was her crying and walking out of the restaurant.
With that said, i think she does what she does because she's extremely excited for this baby. My husband is her only child by blood (she has step children), and they're very close. I cant fault her for being excited but it can be a little much sometimes. My MIL is great most of the time, but some of the things she's said/done during the course of this pregnancy have driven me up a wall! I often wonder how my husband turned out the way he did. He is so laidback and and they're very different. All of this will be worth it when im holding my little man for the first time!