December 2015 Moms

Life Is Not Fair

135

Re: Life Is Not Fair

  • Razberii said:

    Wait here:
    @BostonBaby1 and her lame ass pack of hounds. I'm sorry I have supported you all and answers questions and tries to repons with comic humor. Just because I curse I get reported. Fuck you all you catty old bitches lol

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  • Well report it I'm not gonna delete anything I say.. don't worry I'm no coward
  • amw2133amw2133 member

    To all-
    @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread....

    Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women insane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to you the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings, I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night.

    Again, I am so sorry!

    It's not your fault. I'm sad it's shut down but unfortunately some people just always need to make drama where there is none and that is not your fault. Maybe we should move else where?
  • colsen4colsen4 member
    I think the wrong post got shut down. It is not your fault. Obviously some people just want to start things. I hope you stay but I understand if you don't.
  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    edited May 2015
    amw2133 said:

    To all-
    @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread....

    Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women insane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to you the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings, I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night.

    Again, I am so sorry!

    It's not your fault. I'm sad it's shut down but unfortunately some people just always need to make drama where there is none and that is not your fault. Maybe we should move else where?
    Thank you for your understanding. Is that even possible? Can we move elsewhere? Again, I am so sorry about the other thread!
  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    edited May 2015
    colsen4 said:

    I think the wrong post got shut down. It is not your fault. Obviously some people just want to start things. I hope you stay but I understand if you don't.

    Very true. It is apparent that this is the case, however I do think that whether I stay or leave should be up to you ladies that have been personally affected by the situation.

    Thank you for your support and I am truly sorry about the other thread!
  • 313Meg313Meg member
    To all- @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD @amw2133 @colsen4 and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread.... Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women sane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings (*edited for correction, I did receive a warning this morning but not for anything having to do with that thread. It has to do with an apparent violation on this thread.) I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night. Again, I am so sorry! Obviously, I have not slept over this and still feel is awful this morning as I did late last night. What is no longer visible has obviously been removed based on the Bump administration's decision. Apparently I can not explain myself other than to say to you ladies that I am so sorry!
    What the actual F?! I hang with my family for the night and geez...
    Boston, don't let anyone get you worked up. Not worth it. And I don't think you ever said anything out of TOU so banning you would be unfair.

    I think there is a huge difference in someone pointing out that they disagree with certain things/topics VS calling someone out. 
    There is a fair amount of sarcasm and I love it. But I have never seen it directed at anyone in a mean way.  

    Hey Kimb311! How are you doing lady? (can't tag on my computer for some reason... ugh)

  • 313Meg said:



    To all-
    @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD @amw2133 @colsen4 and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread....

    Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women sane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings (*edited for correction, I did receive a warning this morning but not for anything having to do with that thread. It has to do with an apparent violation on this thread.) I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night.

    Again, I am so sorry!

    Obviously, I have not slept over this and still feel is awful this morning as I did late last night. What is no longer visible has obviously been removed based on the Bump administration's decision. Apparently I can not explain myself other than to say to you ladies that I am so sorry!

    What the actual F?! I hang with my family for the night and geez...
    Boston, don't let anyone get you worked up. Not worth it. And I don't think you ever said anything out of TOU so banning you would be unfair.

    I think there is a huge difference in someone pointing out that they disagree with certain things/topics VS calling someone out. 
    There is a fair amount of sarcasm and I love it. But I have never seen it directed at anyone in a mean way.  

    Hey Kimb311! How are you doing lady? (can't tag on my computer for some reason... ugh)



    Thank you sweetheart! I was upset because the post got shut down prior to my realizing that I was being goaded & also being trolled. By The time that it escalated to the now banned user attacking us blatantly as opposed to via private message and sarcasm, I was actually feeling a little bit better because I thought that you ladies would be able to see what it was that I was dealing with (at least partially.)

    I just feel awful that everybody lost their happy outlet on this place. I am so sorry and definitely want to also add the apology to @kimb311 ... BTW, Meg can't call you out because she's on her computer.
  • 313Meg313Meg member
    To all- @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread.... Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women insane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to you the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings, I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night. Again, I am so sorry!
    It's not your fault. I'm sad it's shut down but unfortunately some people just always need to make drama where there is none and that is not your fault. Maybe we should move else where?
    Thank you for your understanding. Is that even possible? Can we move elsewhere? Again, I am so sorry about the other thread!



    You aren't going anywhere Boston.

    image.

  • *numb=bump stupid autocorrect
  • To all-
    @Embuzz247 @nik6499 @Karawe @313Meg @Marchmellow2 @redfallon @CMDD @amw2133 @colsen4 and to all of the other ladies that have been active members of the search function thread....

    Adding to the life is not fair, I have to apologize with the deepest sincerity that the search function thread was shut down by the bump administration following a disagreement that I tried to take off of that post. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have requested that they ban me personally and reopen the thread, that has yet to happen. I cannot tell you how horrible I feel. I am truly sorry. There's not much else that I can say other than that. I hope that The Bump administration will make the decision to ban me personally rather than close that thread. I know that it was the only one keeping many women sane and I am truly heartbroken over this. I should not have responded back to the person that was instigating with me. It is absolutely not an excuse and although I did not receive any warnings (*edited for correction, I did receive a warning this morning but not for anything having to do with that thread. It has to do with an apparent violation on this thread.) I absolutely did not think that the thread would be shut down. I feel especially horrible because since my loss, I do not belong on this board. I'm going to go crying to DH's shoulder now for the rest of the night.

    Again, I am so sorry!

    Obviously, I have not slept over this and still feel is awful this morning as I did late last night. What is no longer visible has obviously been removed based on the Bump administration's decision. Apparently I can not explain myself other than to say to you ladies that I am so sorry!

    I say shut the thread down. New threads can be started but you can't be replaced you are enjoyed way too much here to go anywhere. You don't need to apologize for anything especially not for someone who was baiting you into a nasty disagreement. You always handle yourself very well!! Obviously the numb agrees bc she got the ban hammer!!
    Thank you so much for your kind words sweetheart! Of course I wanted to tag all of you ladies last night, but I was so upset and just wanted to write the post and then woke up DH and was crying hysterically for most of the night. Like I said to the now banned user., I was not crying about what she said to me, but rather that everybody would suffer because I foolishly responded prior to realizing what she was doing. I had asked him another thread what the definition of trolling was. I now understand it.

    I am so sorry!
  • erikaalzeterikaalzet member
    edited May 2015
    It was shut down. Everyone take the hint. For us to continue to discuss it anywhere is counterproductive. I also don't know why anyone, ANY OF US, would willfully get worked up over something so trivial in our lives. Willfully get worked up when many of us are currently dealing with very real issues and real grief.

    We have past the point where we are respectfully disagreeing. Let's not be so blind we don't see that.

    "This" started because of what? Really, it doesn't matter because despite very well meanin efforts from all sides of the drama the issues still continue. So just decide to leave well enough alone. This is not a social justice issue, Bump ladies. We can let this die.

    But life isn't fair so this is likely going to not happen.
    It's funny how all I did was go to sleep and come back to crazy town.
  • kimb311kimb311 member
    I'm so confused :-/
  • kimb311 said:

    I'm so confused :-/

    Check your inbox dear ❤️
  • 313Meg said:



    It was shut down. Everyone take the hint. For us to continue to discuss it anywhere is counterproductive. I also don't know why anyone, ANY OF US, would willfully get worked up over something so trivial in our lives. Willfully get worked up when many of us are currently dealing with very real issues and real grief.

    We have past the point where we are respectfully disagreeing. Let's not be so blind we don't see that.

    "This" started because of what? Really, it doesn't matter because despite very well meanin efforts from all sides of the drama the issues still continue. So just decide to leave well enough alone. This is not a social justice issue, Bump ladies. We can let this die.

    But life isn't fair so this is likely going to not happen.
    It's funny how all I did was go to sleep and come back to crazy town.

    There's always going to be some "drama" counterproductive or not. It's the bump. People live for it.

    It's also not "dead" yet bc not everyone has seen what went down. And for those regs who spend a lot of time here, do care what their BMB is doing. I for 1, was tagged and wanted to let my "friend" know that she has my support and that I didn't see anything that crossed the line.

    I'm not trying to fuel the letting the thread die idea... I'm just sayin'.

    I hope this is well received and not meant as an argument nor to be negative. Because that's not my tone in my head.


    Exactly. I think that it's only fair to allow people to know what happened, or at least to understand the general idea of what went down.
  • All of these threads are disparaging to me as someone who is relatively new to TB. This cannot be fun for anyone. I'm on the board because I need someone to talk to who is not my family/ boyfriend. I completely understand differences in opinions. I think the other thread might have been closed because it seemed like some of the girls in the tight knit circle/ clique (for lack of a better word-- some women who have been here longer and more consistently than others) were using it to make fun of FTMs with questions. Shaming other women is not the purpose of this board, and something you think is ridiculous/stupid/laughable can hurt someone else if they read it. Making cruel jokes at someone else's expense to fit in is as old as time, and just plain tired.


    Edit: I do not want anyone to leave or think I am attacking them. Like someone else's post (I can't find it now, was it on the search function post?) I just think a little empathy would go a long way. 
    I actually was going to be a FTM myself. I don't think that the board got shut down because people are making disparaging comments about themselves. Most of the women that were active on the board are going to be FTMs, not all, but a lot. I definitely don't think that the intention of anybody was to have people feel that they were being made to be the brunt of a joke. I'm not going to go through what the point of the thread was because not only did the bump administration make clear that the thread was not to be taken elsewhere, but it is still up there to be read from the beginning.

    That being said, I do feel very bad that you feel that this is a disparaging board for you. Hopefully that will change.
  • erikaalzeterikaalzet member
    edited May 2015
    313Meg said:



    It was shut down. Everyone take the hint. For us to continue to discuss it anywhere is counterproductive. I also don't know why anyone, ANY OF US, would willfully get worked up over something so trivial in our lives. Willfully get worked up when many of us are currently dealing with very real issues and real grief.

    We have past the point where we are respectfully disagreeing. Let's not be so blind we don't see that.

    "This" started because of what? Really, it doesn't matter because despite very well meanin efforts from all sides of the drama the issues still continue. So just decide to leave well enough alone. This is not a social justice issue, Bump ladies. We can let this die.

    But life isn't fair so this is likely going to not happen.
    It's funny how all I did was go to sleep and come back to crazy town.

    There's always going to be some "drama" counterproductive or not. It's the bump. People live for it.

    It's also not "dead" yet bc not everyone has seen what went down. And for those regs who spend a lot of time here, do care what their BMB is doing. I for 1, was tagged and wanted to let my "friend" know that she has my support and that I didn't see anything that crossed the line.

    I'm not trying to fuel the letting the thread die idea... I'm just sayin'.

    I hope this is well received and not meant as an argument nor to be negative. Because that's not my tone in my head.



    (Edited, because on my phone it's hard to tell where my comment starts and the quoting stops) my comment starts here:

    People live for the Bump, or people live for the drama? I'm not sure which you mean.

    If this is the best community someone has in their lives for their pregnancy or a loss, live for it. No one in their right mind would call that bad.

    To live for drama, though? That is always fruitless. I feel that's where it's all headed.

    My comments are always a broader commentary on the trend of a thread or "side." Collectively, the thread in question started to take a negative turn. I'm not here to point fingers or call anyone out. I'm just trying to offer a slightly different perspective so that we can all be more mindful.

    What we are all doing now (now being the last 2 hours or so, from time stamps) is probably what should have happened a month ago. No one is being passive aggressive. No one is cursing. No one is calling anyone out. There was a lot of that before. I mean can we at least admit that internally? Now we are just calmly sharing not slightly nuanced opinions and hearing each other out.
  • In any case, I certainly hope that in the future people will be more cautious and sensitive when it comes to the topic of miscarriage.

    Yes, life is not fair. However, losing a pregnancy (or multiple pregnancies) is not something to be taken lightly and it is definitely not something to throw into other peoples faces. That crosses a line that should never be crossed. In my honest opinion, there is absolutely no justification that rectifies that wrong. And I am not addressing anybody in particular, just making a statement putting out my opinion that when it comes to the loss of a baby or babies, just don't.

    image
  • I'm not a gif-fer. Not my style (the child in me wants to clarify that I know how). But if I WERE a gif-fer, this would be a good place for one of folks hugging it out. I'm also not a hugger, just saying.
  • cards10cards10 member
    @BostonBaby1 love you girl!!! I know I'm a little late to the game today but as others have said, we'd rather have you and your support on here than a thread. I know you've helped me through some tougher days and I thank you! You are a hugely positive, supportive force and we are better for knowing you :)
  • @nik6499 I hope you didn't get that from my post. I definitely think that the other 'side' mistook my defense of intuition for support of some immature and heartless vitriol. I'm just saying that neither camp is blameless. I don't want anyone to leave or feel like they're not welcome. I just don't want opinions to be ridiculed-- i.e. someone who thinks they felt a flutter (not necessarily that OP).


    SaveSave
  • That being said, if you guys don't want anything to do with newcomers then there is always a private group. 


    SaveSave
  • fioripfiorip member
    @VegDumpling my thoughts exactly. Nobody is blameless. You can absolutely disagree with someone in a respectful manner without resulting to mockery or trying to ridicule them.
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

  • CMDDCMDD member
    edited May 2015

    Razberii said:

    Wait here:
    @BostonBaby1 and her lame ass pack of hounds. I'm sorry I have supported you all and answers questions and tries to repons with comic humor. Just because I curse I get reported. Fuck you all you catty old bitches lol

    @razberii this is disgusting and I hope @bumpadmin sees this. Please stop.

    (Edited bc I didn't see she was already banned).

    @bostonbaby1 don't worry about anything. That thread was getting heated just like it has in the past but I don't believe any lines were crossed. I think bump admin was just trying to cut it off before anything got worse. Try to relax today, and stay.
  • fioripfiorip member
    CMDD said:

    Razberii said:

    Wait here:
    @BostonBaby1 and her lame ass pack of hounds. I'm sorry I have supported you all and answers questions and tries to repons with comic humor. Just because I curse I get reported. Fuck you all you catty old bitches lol

    @razberii this is disgusting and I hope @bumpadmin sees this. Please stop.
    That user has been banned
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

  • @VegDumpling thank you for your kind words, it certainly has been a lot of loss for me. Not that that makes it any worse than what anybody else has gone through or is going through. I lost my father to glioblastoma multiforme IV in December. I lost one pregnancy at the beginning of March (dd was 11/11/15), then I lost these two LOs. And in the meantime, my mother has been diagnosed with cancer for the third time and had her mastectomy the same day that we found out that we lost the second twin. Additionally, my MIL was diagnosed with moderately advanced Alzheimer's a few weeks before we got our most recent BFB. It is a lot for five months.

    I was not implying that there were no comments made on the other thread that were not offensive or hurtful to anybody else. However, the intention was neither to hurt nor to degrade anybody. I know I personally used that thread as a means by which to vent on occasion. Having just been through everything that I listed, not to mention all of the other joys that come along with iVF, pregnancy and miscarriage, plus life itself… it can be a little frustrating when people fly off the handle about something that seems extraordinarily trivial to me.

    That is not diminish the importance of the person to whom is happening. Just simply that it is extraordinarily distressful to people that have their own heavy burdens to bear right now. It is difficult to constantly read posts where people are having what seemed to be life crisis when there is absolutely nothing at all to be concerned about. I think that I have tried my very best to be supportive to the women on this thread. I try diligently to live my life with integrity and to try to treat others the way that I would like to be treated myself.

    In any case, I feel that writing anything further at this point would be fruitless due to the fact that I have not slept and I am both physically and emotionally exhausted.
  • kepoolekepoole member
    I love this post. I haven't posted anything and don't comment often because most of what I've read hasn't been very pleasant or helpful. This is my second pregnancy and it's been rough but I've been just dealing on my own because I don't want to get ambushed :/

    Positive: my m/s is letting up and I'm not losing weight anymore!
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