This is my first post so forgive me if it's too long. I am 29 and have been TTC for almost two years now. I came off of birth control in the summer of 2013 and had no period for the next 8 months. Finally, after seeing my obgyn, I was diagnosed with PCOS. He put me on Provera for the next 6 months but I remained babyless.
In December, DH and I finally saw an RE and found out that besides my PCOS, DH has some moderate issues with sperm DNA fragmentation. Our RE suggested we do 5 days of 50 mg Clomid & IUI, which we did for the first time last month. I responded well to the Clomid; my uterus was thick, I had no negative side effects and I produced two big fat follicles (I forget their size but they had me do my trigger shot the same day of the U/S and my IUI was scheduled for the next day). The day of the IUI, out RE didn't seem thrilled about DH's sperm, but she said it wasn't too bad. I was certain that after the 2WW I'd get my BFP. Unfortunately I was wrong.
We started round two this month with my Clomid dose bumped up to 100 mg. Yesterday we went in for the U/S and I had an 18 mm follicle on the right along with 20 mm and 24 mm follicles on the left. But wait...I should have known better than to expect ALL good news. My uterine wall is only at 6.7. They want a minimum of 7, but ideally > 8. My RE decided it would be okay to go ahead with the IUI today. This morning, we went in and DH's sperm was at 80% motility BEFORE washing and 90% after. Great news, right?!?! So why do I feel so pessimistic?
I want to keep my spirits high, but I feel like after two years of monthly BFNs, I can't afford to get my hopes up. I am obsessing over the thin uterine wall and worrying about DH's sperm DNA. I don't want to turn every conversation with hubby into fertility talk, but it is all I think about. How am I going to make it through the 2WW? Can anyone relate to this? How do you all find the right balance between being a Debbie Downer and unrealistically optimistic?