Doing my own shower.

Nerdmama0812

Yep. My family doesn't want to throw me a shower cuz they don't think I have enough friends to have a shower. Which I don't have any but some people u know that they don't want to come. So I've decided I will throw my own. My friend is helping me with the invitations right now. But other then that it's all me. Who else has thrown their own shower

Tiaragentile

I'm throwing my own shower with help from my mama. My " best " friend who's practically my sister said she was going to plan EVERYTHING and I shouldn't worry just show up. Turns out she's don't nothing and has no plans or efforts for it anymore. So I'm planning all on my own which I'm not letting it bother me because now I get to pick whatever I want and how I want. Good luck to you and the planning!

hendS731

I'm doing mine on my own! A little stressful, but I have no one else to do it really. Good luck!

shellymac6

I'm throwing mine to. Super excited because I get to throw a party for myself and ask for presents to. It's like a dream come true. No one really likes me enough to have a party for me so I don't care I will just do It myself.

Youngwithra

DH & I are throwing our own, a few family members have offered to pay for stuff which is going to help us financially. I also have my sister & SIL help with ideas. I'm excited! DH is letting me do all the planning, all he did was pick the theme & cake lol it's a bit stressful but I'm sure it's going to be worth it

mrspark812

We aren't having a shower for baby #2. Instead we are hosting a bbq for our friends and family. Sort of a hey we're having a kid, come eat and drink beer sort of thing. No silly games and no gifts expected

issyzmum

Ugh I know how it is my adopted mum said she was doing my baby shower but she seemed like she didn't care so much so I just started doing everything myself

abbymessina

I'm doing my own also. When my mil found out we were having a girl (we have two boys already) she insisted we have a shower and made it seem like her and my sister in law would be putting it on. Needless to say they haven't planned anything so I made my own invitations, mailed them, bought all the decorations and favors and will be buying the cake.

AziaNick

I did my own I gave jobs to my family on the day of the shower though so I wasn't running around and stuff and just enjoying the party they helped set up, clean up, games, food, etc. but I decided my theme and got all the decor and made my own favors and invitations and all that stuff. It's quite fun! good luck!

ktabs

@jessika9210 send me an address and gender so I can make sure to drop a gift in the mail and tell your mom that you have an abundance of bumpy friends! I thinks we can PM on here... Not sure. We will figure it out!

SBbabyonboard

I'm doing my own shower as well, my MIL said to my family she thought it was ridiculous that I was planning my own shower, yet it's not like she offered to do it either. My family just isn't the type to do that kind of stuff. With my DS my ex's family threw me a massive baby shower and I didn't have to lift a finger so this time around is a lot different!! It's a bit stressful and expensive, I just hope everyone shows so that I don't have a baby shower of like 6 people lol. Everyone lives 2-4 hours away. Hoping for the best!!

JennyJensing

I wouldn't throw my own shower. My best friend offered to throw me a shower for my second, but I told her no thanks because I think it's gift grabby. If people feel the need to get me a gift for second baby, they will do it regardless of me having a shower. For now, we intend to buy everything we need for this one!

mrsrep123

My older sister with 3 kids said she was going to throw me a baby shower back when I was barely sharing the news with people. (She had one for each as they are all 7 years apart). My BF said she'd be involved as well (so as to not step on my sister's toes). A month before the shower, I followed up with her about invitations, had questions about who to invite, etc. NO response. So I group texted her and my BF. She still didn't respond... Well not to me, she asked my BF to take care of the invitations. Since then, it sounds like my BF is doing everything. My sister hasn't even reached out to me. Annoyed and SUPER disappointed in my sister but ECSTATIC that BF is handling it all.

My SIL really wants to throw me a baby shower as well, but she lives in L.A. and we can't travel back down there right now.

LaisaC03

My mom wanted to help but she lives in NY. She was counting on my cousin (who lives close by to me) to help but nothing. So I had to start planning it myself.

lilweenie

That's weird to throw you're own shower.  I would have just saved my money and just bought everything I needed for baby instead.

stormyyautumn

Before I had my son almost 8 years ago, I planned my own shower. My mom, aunt and grandma did help but I did most of it. Nobody that came to the shower even knew much less cared that I did it myself. Do what you gotta do, there's nothing wrong with it. 

williamsmama6

So, I was planning on throwing my own shower too! I am pregnant with baby #4 and honestly it seems like they don't care since we already have 3!! Is it okay to have a shower for a fourth baby?!

gotdiesel2007

williamsmama6 said:

So, I was planning on throwing my own shower too! I am pregnant with baby #4 and honestly it seems like they don't care since we already have 3!! Is it okay to have a shower for a fourth baby?!

I personally find it ridiculous. This is #3 for me and I have never had a shower nor would I want one now. I've already turned down someone offering because I don't find it ok. They are my kids and I'll buy what they need.

sschwege

williamsmama6 said:

So, I was planning on throwing my own shower too! I am pregnant with baby #4 and honestly it seems like they don't care since we already have 3!! Is it okay to have a shower for a fourth baby?!

Well, where I'm from you would get a serious side-eye for a) having a shower for a baby that is not your first and b) throwing your own shower.  Frankly I have never seen it done IRL.  I am of the mind that if you have to ask as you did, then the answer is most likely 'no' it's not OK.  If it were common in your social circle then you wouldn't be asking in the first place.

Consider having a meet the baby party after the baby is born or just throw a regular old party if you want to get together with friends.

AziaNick

lilweenie said:

That's weird to throw you're own shower.  I would have just saved my money and just bought everything I needed for baby instead.

You can definitely have a budget friendly shower I did my own shower and I only spent $50 on the whole thing. I made a lot of things and I my mom and mother in law took care of the food. It was well worth $50 and we got pretty much everything we needed for the baby I don't know what the budget for other people is or how much they estimated all there baby things to cost, but we estimated everything at about $2000-$3000, and we definitely would not have spent that much on the shower. I guess it just depends on the person

ariejsmom

williamsmama6 said:

So, I was planning on throwing my own shower too! I am pregnant with baby #4 and honestly it seems like they don't care since we already have 3!! Is it okay to have a shower for a fourth baby?!

You can have as many showers as you want. You are celebrating the baby and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Plus the majority of the time you are not getting expensive gifts at the shower. This is my 3rd but first boy so my sister is throwing me one so that we will have little boy items. For my 2nd daughter we did a sprinkle verses a shower. It's just a little intimate gathering. It's up to you and your family and friends if it's ok. Different people have different traditions.

williamsmama6

We're just planning a BBQ get together. We already have everything for the baby but want to have some sort of celebration.

AmommyB

Do what you gotta do? To get gifts? I think some of you have missed the whole idea behind a shower. I wouldn't be patting myself on the back either if I held a party for myself spending only $50 on my guests and then received a couple grand worth of gifts. That's super tacky, period. Why have a kid if you are going to rely on others to buy what you need? A baby shower is just like any other party, why do you suddenly think you are entitled to one just because there is a baby in the mix? Celebrating a baby is not the same as having a baby shower. The original concept was to help struggling young couples with NECCESITIES, not some excuse to be greedy.

My SIL is throwing me a shower and I could not be more grateful but if noone had offered, the last thing I would do is make a party for myself expecting people to shell out presents.

ktabs

I think I am the only one who noticed she said that her family didn't want to throw one because she didn't have enough friends...

That is an awful thing to say. First time mom or a seasoned vet....! In saying send me an address because no mom should be told she doesn't deserve a baby shower because she doesn't have "enough" friends!

And I am waiting on contact info or for you to decline the offer, it still stands because I think you should get to open a gift

mom3babies

Well my family hates me and I have friends but you don't see me throwing my own shower to get gifts from them. You make a baby so you deserve a shower is basically what your saying?! Showers aren't things you get to have just because your having a baby. I'm on my third child and I've never had a shower. For my first my family was to busy dealing with my dying grandpa and for my second I didn't see the point in it. I have bought every single thing my kids have needed on my own.

samanthaj0e

Point blank: Throwing your own shower is tacky. Throwing a shower for a second or third or FOURTH baby... is tacky. Ew.

ktabs

She never said anything about doing it for gifts. I can't believe how unsupportive some of you are being. Now THAT is tacky.

If she wants a shower then by all means let the girl have a freaking shower.

She asked if anyone had done it- she doesn't need the manners police calling her out. Maybe it's not tacky amongst her peers. My goodness I hope someone cares enough to want to celebrate with some of you.... Because the bitter is quite strong here!

Nerdmama0812

@ktabs thank you. I still can't figure out how to send you an address

Britty

Omg people on here are rude! I see why I don't come to this board very much. My family thinks you should only get a shower for your first so no one in my family is throwing me one this time. It is customary around here to only have one with your first. I have 7 and 5 year old girls by my first husband. My boy is due July 5th and my new husband's family and friends really want me to have one, they keep asking about it. My step daughter offered to throw me one but she's 19 so I'm helping her a bit lol. I think throwing your own is fine. It's not about presents it's about celebrating your baby! I recently went to one for a girls 5th kid, all boys and close in age. I did think that was a bit tacky as there were no games/food, just presents.

Leahauc

Every member of my husband's family has had a shower before us, but family isn't throwing one for our first because everyone seems to be tied up in their own personal drama at the moment. I would have expected my best friend to offer, but she has been MIA since she found out I was pregnant, which is kinda pissing me off in general. We decided we still wanted to celebrate since we are super excited for our baby girl, so we are having a BBQ at our house and inviting both mine and my husband's close friends and family. We included registry information at the bottom of our invites but aren't holding high expectations or even calling it a "shower"...we learned that creating our wedding registry was basically a waste of time. So we are planning a party and gifts from guests will be a bonus.

ETA: For the record, I think every mom deserves a shower. It's a celebration of one of the most special and exciting times in your life. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have the type of family or friends willing to throw one. If you want to throw your own, go ahead, you deserve one as much as anyone else. If someone wants to be judgy about that, then they can party solo somewhere else.

AmommyB

Manners police? You're joking right? So you can call people bitter and rude for letting this woman know that throwing a shower for herself is tacky? But then it's not tacky to throw a party for yourself expecting gifts....sure, your logic is spot on. FYI, saying it's not about presents is stupid otherwise we wouldn't call them showers now would we? When you ask a forum of strangers their opinion, you will receive it even if it doesn't always make you happy.

nimble33

I'm sick of coming on here because people are asking for our opinions and when it's given people go out of their minds because it's not what they want to hear!! How is it rude to give an opinion when It's being asked for? From someone who lives in the UK and don't do showers even to me it looks grabby to do your own. The money you are spending doing it could easily go towards buying the things you need. It just screams greedy.......

Britty

I have more finances than you... trust me.

Numajawara

Oh My @-)

nimble33

Britty said:

I have more finances than you... trust me.

Wow!!!

AmommyB

@Britty oh you're wit! It's so amazing. So I'm old, poor and bitter? Now who's the tacky one? It sounds to me like you are the one with a chip on your shoulder. You can't handle that someone's opinions differ from yours so you start with the name calling. I guess then I shouldn't be surprised that you would throw a party for yourself, I doubt you have many friends that would.

Britty

I have to troll early to wake up :-) Hope the red hatters at your party don't take all your babies gifted diapers that I'm sure you're expecting...

AmommyB

Yeah, you make a lot of sense. Better luck next time trying to prove your point. Maybe you should go hang out in the "air heads that don't know shit" forum, they would welcome you with open arms.

Britty

Yes I'm totally clueless... I would make that a new forum if I could figure out how to work this darned intranets...

Britty

I didn't have a point except to tell op she could do what she wanted. Who cares what people think about you. If they think it's tacky then they don't have to come. BTW the red hatters is a club for old ladies, you should look into it.

Britty

AmommyB said:

Lol why on earth do you keep coming around to the age bit? It didn't upset me the first time, why do you think your going to hurt my feelings by repeating it over and over. I know how old I am and I'm not the one with a 19 year old daughter. I would much rather be 39, have my shit together and have friends that throw me a party than be a younger twat that thinks the ultimate insult is to call someone old. Seriously? Like I said, you need to go visit with other Dipshits that actually find you relevant.

"Step daughter" and it must bother you to need the last word since you keep coming back. Maybe you should take your own advise and not post too much information about yourself on boards like this.
And thanks samanthajoe. I'm glad other pregnant girls get my sarcasm and return it. Something has to make insomnia from pregnancy fun right?