The best piece of advice I can give anyone is, don't assume you're going to get the life you want. Your future could look very different than you think.
It's great to have goals but you have no idea if you'll even get pregnant (you might have to adopt or foster) and if you do, you have no idea your children will want to have children themselves or spend time with you when they're adults. They might focus on their careers or be childless by choice.
I know I seem like a downer but I've seen some stuff that made me realize life is hard and unfair. (I was a really weird teenager so I used to immerse myself in the darker side of society). I don't know. It just seems like you're convinced your life is going to be something, there's a chance you'll never get.
I am aware of that but like I said I'm trying to stay positive.
Being a realist =/= being negative.
Did you read my post above the one you quoted? Because I am being realistic.
You're being optimistic there's a difference.
I am very aware of the things that can happen. Things can always go in a different direction. Like I said it can happen next month next year or 10 years from now or we may not be able to conceive at all but there is adoption. either way whatever happens I'll be happy but yes of coarse I hope it happens for us and i hope it happens this year. Everyone TTC does. That's why we are all a member here.
@sunflower071913 you keep saying you are aware of all the things everyone is trying to warn you of, but you are completely disregarding it. Please know that all these ladies and myself are trying to help you. At 20, you may feel mature, but it is still a very immature age. All I want to suggest is maybe put a little more thought into this decision as unbiased as you can. When you make the decision to have a child, you are not only making a decision for yourself, but a decision for your child as well. Babies don't get to chose the circumstances they are born into, I just want you to be sure that you are ready. I also wanted a baby at your age, I thought I was ready. Heck, I was a nanny for a few years at that point, I knew what I would be getting into. I can't tell you how happy I am that I did not have a child at that age, I was not ready even though I thought I was. I would not have been able to be the best mommy I could be at that young age.
You are great @BHEAT14 So sorry for the loss of your brother. I completely agree and understand what you said about being concerned and it coming from a motherly place. I felt the same when I read this all originally ... I'm going to be a school counselor so I felt very at home with this whole thing! I appreciate you, if that counts lol
My parents had me when they were 20. 28 years later they are still very happily married and had 3 more children after me. I have the most amazing parents and couldn't wish for a better childhood. That being said my decision to wait till I was 28 (and for a long time think I might not want children) is because I saw what they went through. They have never been financially comfortable and I feel like my mom deserved so much more. She gave up everything to stay home and be my mommy. Don't get me wrong, I know she loves her life I just wish she didn't have to sacrifice so much. She went back to school at 40 and it was really hard.. My little bro was only in grade school and she hadn't been in a class room in 20 years, but she graduated with honors (proud daughter :x) Not to down play my dad, he supported a family of 6 and put 3 (about to be 4) kids through college without a college degree of his own... His struggle was real too, just wanted to give you a perspective your children might have of you one day. Best of luck to you!
As an old hag of 32, imma pop in here real quick with some hard-earned wisdom.
But first, a quick kudos to @sunflower071913. I half expected her to flip out and DD 3 pages ago, but she's kept her shit together and I'm impressed.
Now please, listen. You're a kid. You might be the most mature 20 year old on the planet. You might grow old with your man and celebrate your 75th wedding anniversary. I hope that for you, truly. But this time in your life... You'll never get it back. You say you've traveled, awesome. Travel some more. Europe, Australia, Asia, etc etc. Somewhere beyond the United States, beyond Disney (no disrespect; I love Disney). Legally drink champagne on your anniversary. Put down solid roots in your marriage. Grow together. Grow your bank account together. Prove to each other that you can weather a storm. Set foot in a nightclub. Get a degree.
DH and I will have been married for 5 years when our baby arrives, and I'm not saying that there's a length of time you need to be together before you should have a baby. But it feels darn good to have that history behind us and I'm 100000% confident that when this baby comes, we can handle it as a team.
I'm sure if you got pregnant tomorrow, you'd do everything you could to be a wonderful mother. But I urge you, give it time. There is still so much living you need to do before the babies come, because once they do, it's all about them. Take a few years of your 20s to be wild and free (and I don't mean that as in, get drunk and sleep around. Whatever your definition of wild is, so be it). You owe it to yourself before you devote yourself to raising a family, and honestly, there may come a point in 20 years when you regret not waiting.
Just think about it, without getting sucked into what everyone else around you is doing.
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married 2010
TTC: Feb 2014, BFP 7/14/14, CP 7/18/14
BFP 3/10/15 - DD #1 born 11/19 TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17 BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Weirdly, it was actually my brother's death that made me realize I 100% wanted to be a mommy. Before that I was pretty sure I never wanted kids. Then he died and I was like, I really want a family. Go figure.
In an odd way that I can't articulate, I feel like that makes complete sense.
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married 2010
TTC: Feb 2014, BFP 7/14/14, CP 7/18/14
BFP 3/10/15 - DD #1 born 11/19 TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17 BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Weirdly, it was actually my brother's death that made me realize I 100% wanted to be a mommy. Before that I was pretty sure I never wanted kids. Then he died and I was like, I really want a family. Go figure.
That makes sense to me. I feel like it's a life after death thing...
Me: 28, DH: 28 Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007 Married: July 2013 Began TTC: June 2015
4 pages deep now. Can I call MUD yet? OP has "known" an awful lot of people with crazy stories/issues to help "prove" her point and/or "prove" that she understands all of our points.
Let me give your advice that my mom have me. Get a degree or have skill that can support you and a family. You know why? Sh!t happens. Not just divorce or even death but accidents. My father was making bank in the '70s. It was from a service related issue. He went from making $25 plus an hour to nothing . Eventually the military gave him 100% and SSA. which was less than he made but still a decent amount. Then he died at 57. My mom was just 50.
My brother has a TBI from the Marines. He is disabled. He is not even 40.
the military is rough our the soldiers bodies and minds. Be prepared to be able to handle your house hold 100%. because you never know.
Btw, I married a civilian. First one in generations. I can support my family on my income alone.
I just got done reading this entire thread and it made me feel very, very old!!
I don't think theres ever a "perfect" time to start TTC. I'm 30 now and DH is 40 and we have no children. I was too busy finishing college, then getting my JD and then starting working and then building a career. Now both of us are so busy I don't know how we will find time to be parents when it happens, but we will somehow, I know. I agree with the previous posters- at 20 I was an entirely different person than I was now, or even at 25. Life isn't a race and you can't plan for every little thing. That being said, it's your life and its your decision.
I know its easier said than done but jealousy is the thief of joy- focus on your life and don't worry about what others are doing- just because someone else gets pregnant doesn't mean theres one less baby for you.
4 pages deep now. Can I call MUD yet? OP has "known" an awful lot of people with crazy stories/issues to help "prove" her point and/or "prove" that she understands all of our points.
And this is why I had stop posting threads on here. I do know all those people i spoke of. Thank you to the people that actually tried to help and understand my side of the situation.
4 pages deep now. Can I call MUD yet? OP has "known" an awful lot of people with crazy stories/issues to help "prove" her point and/or "prove" that she understands all of our points.
I just got done reading this entire thread and it made me feel very, very old!!
I don't think theres ever a "perfect" time to start TTC. I'm 30 now and DH is 40 and we have no children. I was too busy finishing college, then getting my JD and then starting working and then building a career. Now both of us are so busy I don't know how we will find time to be parents when it happens, but we will somehow, I know. I agree with the previous posters- at 20 I was an entirely different person than I was now, or even at 25. Life isn't a race and you can't plan for every little thing. That being said, it's your life and its your decision.
I know its easier said than done but jealousy is the thief of joy- focus on your life and don't worry about what others are doing- just because someone else gets pregnant doesn't mean theres one less baby for you.
I understand that and I've seen a lot of people saying "I was a completely different person when I was 20" well the truth is you'll also be a different person in another 10 or 20 years because life happens, we learn and grow and we continue to learn no matter what age, maturity isn't a number, your actions determine your maturity level. This is our decision. I do see what y'all are saying about "living life" but like I've said before I've always wanted a family and this is me living life. Starting my family, traveling with the love of my life. I don't have to go crazy to be living the life I want. I am happy, we are happy.
4 pages deep now. Can I call MUD yet? OP has "known" an awful lot of people with crazy stories/issues to help "prove" her point and/or "prove" that she understands all of our points.
I will say I've been side-eyeing for many pages.
The OP or everyone? Cause I swear I'm telling the truth. I'll link webpages to my bro's conviction, Facebook page and obituary if anyone thinks I'm lying.
The OP. Certainly not anything of your story. Sorry I should have been more clear. Apologies.
That's fine, you don't know me. I am a pastors daughter so I do get a lot of people coming to me to talk. I'm not lying but you can believe what you like
That's fine, you don't know me. I am a pastors daughter so I do get a lot of people coming to me to talk. I'm not lying but you can believe what you like
Of course you are.
Insert Jennifer Lawrence "ya ok" thread here (b/c I don't gif).
That's fine, you don't know me. I am a pastors daughter so I do get a lot of people coming to me to talk. I'm not lying but you can believe what you like
Of course you are.
Insert Jennifer Lawrence "ya ok" thread here (b/c I don't gif).
That's fine, you don't know me. I am a pastors daughter so I do get a lot of people coming to me to talk. I'm not lying but you can believe what you like
Of course you are.
Insert Jennifer Lawrence "ya ok" thread here (b/c I don't gif).
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
The best piece of advice I can give anyone is, don't assume you're going to get the life you want. Your future could look very different than you think.
It's great to have goals but you have no idea if you'll even get pregnant (you might have to adopt or foster) and if you do, you have no idea your children will want to have children themselves or spend time with you when they're adults. They might focus on their careers or be childless by choice.
I know I seem like a downer but I've seen some stuff that made me realize life is hard and unfair. (I was a really weird teenager so I used to immerse myself in the darker side of society). I don't know. It just seems like you're convinced your life is going to be something, there's a chance you'll never get.
While this is true, that doesn't mean people can't have hopes and dreams and strive to achieve the things they wish for. What's the point of even getting out of bed in the morning the way you're talking. Anything can happen to any one of us, any day at any time. But you can't live in fear and give up on your dreams. Everyone needs to hope for the best , aim for the stars but prepare for hard times as well.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
Make sense?
Also, you can't dictate how people respond to your posts, so....
Let's take a moment to look at all of our posts history. We all posted stupid stuff at some point. Thank you for the uplifting words lady's
And yes, this is true. But growth is important. Everyone oopsies - but I like to see growth, part of which includes accepting the personality of this board.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
Make sense?
Also, you can't dictate how people respond to your posts, so....
Let's take a moment to look at all of our posts history. We all posted stupid stuff at some point. Thank you for the uplifting words lady's
And yes, this is true. But growth is important. Everyone oopsies - but I like to see growth, part of which includes accepting the personality of this board.
I accept it but I'm not going to condone it. Being rude is not okay just because everyone else is doing it.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
Make sense?
Also, you can't dictate how people respond to your posts, so....
Let's take a moment to look at all of our posts history. We all posted stupid stuff at some point. Thank you for the uplifting words lady's
And yes, this is true. But growth is important. Everyone oopsies - but I like to see growth, part of which includes accepting the personality of this board.
I accept it but I'm not going to condone it. Being rude is not okay just because everyone else is doing it.
You need to find another board OP, where the culture is more of a fit for you.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
Make sense?
Also, you can't dictate how people respond to your posts, so....
Let's take a moment to look at all of our posts history. We all posted stupid stuff at some point. Thank you for the uplifting words lady's
And yes, this is true. But growth is important. Everyone oopsies - but I like to see growth, part of which includes accepting the personality of this board.
I accept it but I'm not going to condone it. Being rude is not okay just because everyone else is doing it.
Again, can you give an example where someone was being rude?
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
You don't know her post history. Refrain from commenting unless you know the entire story.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
You're right, you do. But don't call people rude and say we're hating on her because she's young and TTC when you have no clue of her post history.
Make sense?
Also, you can't dictate how people respond to your posts, so....
Let's take a moment to look at all of our posts history. We all posted stupid stuff at some point. Thank you for the uplifting words lady's
And yes, this is true. But growth is important. Everyone oopsies - but I like to see growth, part of which includes accepting the personality of this board.
I accept it but I'm not going to condone it. Being rude is not okay just because everyone else is doing it.
Again, can you give an example where someone was being rude?
You can't tell me that some people on here aren't rude sometimes.. Come on.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
I accept it but I'm not going to condone it. Being rude is not okay just because everyone else is doing it.
Why are you still on these boards if they're so awful?
From the post I've seen from you it looks like go on threads and frequently post s*** stirring comments to trigger responses. It's like a child wanting attention so bad they don't care if the attention is positive or negative.
Wtf?I have said multiple times on this thread that I understand!!!!!!!!! I know this may never happen for us! geez! y'all read what you want and just ignore the rest! I'm done with this thread. Y'all are the ones wanting the drama because if you didn't you would've let this GOOOOO!!! Bye :-h
Wtf?I have said multiple times on this thread that I understand!!!!!!!!! I know this may never happen for us! geez! y'all read what you want and just ignore the rest! I'm done with this thread. Y'all are the ones wanting the drama because if you didn't you would've let this GOOOOO!!! Bye :-h
You read what you want and ignore the rest and have been doing so since the first time you posted on this board.
Ugh this turned a corner realllll quick when frickin, let me come out of no where and point fingers at all of you, over there butted in. It's unfortunate because everyone for the most part had very clear and concerned messages, I do agree that OP... You were dodging them pretty much left and right but that's ok! It's your life! But hopefully you can reread some of this and know we do have your back, just don't want to read about how your being all sad and lonely and what not ... Get out and have an amazing life, making friends and going to school, and sure... ttc at the same time
Re: how do you handle this every month over and over?
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
So sorry for the loss of your brother.
I completely agree and understand what you said about being concerned and it coming from a motherly place.
I felt the same when I read this all originally ... I'm going to be a school counselor so I felt very at home with this whole thing!
I appreciate you, if that counts lol
That being said my decision to wait till I was 28 (and for a long time think I might not want children) is because I saw what they went through. They have never been financially comfortable and I feel like my mom deserved so much more. She gave up everything to stay home and be my mommy. Don't get me wrong, I know she loves her life I just wish she didn't have to sacrifice so much. She went back to school at 40 and it was really hard.. My little bro was only in grade school and she hadn't been in a class room in 20 years, but she graduated with honors (proud daughter :x)
Not to down play my dad, he supported a family of 6 and put 3 (about to be 4) kids through college without a college degree of his own... His struggle was real too, just wanted to give you a perspective your children might have of you one day.
Best of luck to you!
But first, a quick kudos to @sunflower071913. I half expected her to flip out and DD 3 pages ago, but she's kept her shit together and I'm impressed.
Now please, listen. You're a kid. You might be the most mature 20 year old on the planet. You might grow old with your man and celebrate your 75th wedding anniversary. I hope that for you, truly. But this time in your life... You'll never get it back. You say you've traveled, awesome. Travel some more. Europe, Australia, Asia, etc etc. Somewhere beyond the United States, beyond Disney (no disrespect; I love Disney). Legally drink champagne on your anniversary. Put down solid roots in your marriage. Grow together. Grow your bank account together. Prove to each other that you can weather a storm. Set foot in a nightclub. Get a degree.
DH and I will have been married for 5 years when our baby arrives, and I'm not saying that there's a length of time you need to be together before you should have a baby. But it feels darn good to have that history behind us and I'm 100000% confident that when this baby comes, we can handle it as a team.
I'm sure if you got pregnant tomorrow, you'd do everything you could to be a wonderful mother. But I urge you, give it time. There is still so much living you need to do before the babies come, because once they do, it's all about them. Take a few years of your 20s to be wild and free (and I don't mean that as in, get drunk and sleep around. Whatever your definition of wild is, so be it). You owe it to yourself before you devote yourself to raising a family, and honestly, there may come a point in 20 years when you regret not waiting.
Just think about it, without getting sucked into what everyone else around you is doing.
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
Married: July 2013
Began TTC: June 2015
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258
My brother has a TBI from the Marines. He is disabled. He is not even 40.
the military is rough our the soldiers bodies and minds. Be prepared to be able to handle your house hold 100%. because you never know.
Btw, I married a civilian. First one in generations. I can support my family on my income alone.
Me 31 DH 41
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Insert Jennifer Lawrence "ya ok" thread here (b/c I don't gif).
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
You win the internet today.
I made it to page 3 and i can't take it anymore. Not sure why everyone is being so crass and rude, but I will tell you OP after 12 years of being on fertility boards on many different sites- women ALWAYS hate on young women who want to have babies or already have them. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what, but it's very common. Don't let it get you down OP. Just because others were doing this and that at your age doesn't mean you are making the wrong decisions for your life. They are not you and you are not them. Some women want nothing more than to be mothers and I don't see anything wrong with that.
I am 30 and it has taken me 9 years to achieve this pregnancy. The truth is, most of the time fertility is a young woman's game. Any doctor will tell you that. It's not like once you hit 35 you're infertile, but younger women are more fertile for the most part and that's just the way it is.
If you want to have children and you are in the position to do so when you are younger, do it!!! I honesty wish I had my first child 9 years ago. Even at 30 I can look back to that time and still say I wanted children young. Everyone is different and I am not sure why people can't accept that, but I will say that in my opinion having kids young is a lot better than waiting until you are way older and Mother Nature has decided it's too late. Then some women end up spending all this money ( some people bankrupting themselves ) on fertility treatments , adoption and even going as far as buying eggs from younger women. Women don't always have to resort to fertility treatments and third party reproductive because they are advanced maternal age....some people are just unfortunate ( like myself) and have fertility issues at a young age. But most of the time it is advanced maternal age causing issues.
I really wish I had known what I do now back when I was 20. I would have gotten help a lot sooner. I learned 3 years ago that it was my immune system causing infertility. My immune system is in overdrive due to my endometriosis and so it attacks embryos as a foreign object . My diagnosis is immune implantation dysfunction. I had to suppress my immune system and do 4 rounds of IVF to achieve this pregnancy. So young age does not mean you can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and you should put of having a child when you want just because you are young. If you want a baby now OP, try. After a year and no success, see an RE.
Lastly OP the feelings or jealously and hurt you are having when everyone around you is getting pregnant is normal. Don't let anyone make you feel like a jerk for having those feelings. There are women who have those feelings even when they KNOW the expecting woman struggled with infertility as well. Some people can't help it, but try not to feel that way OP. Bitterness will come if you continue to feel that way and that won't help you at all, it will actually make you feel worse. I kept myself from becoming bitter this whole time by telling myself every baby is meant to be and my baby will come when he or she is meant to. Just tell yourself when you see these pregnancies that they aren't having YOUR baby so no reason to be jealous,
Take care OP and best of luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
While this is true, that doesn't mean people can't have hopes and dreams and strive to achieve the things they wish for. What's the point of even getting out of bed in the morning the way you're talking. Anything can happen to any one of us, any day at any time. But you can't live in fear and give up on your dreams. Everyone needs to hope for the best , aim for the stars but prepare for hard times as well.
I can say whatever I want to the OP and you have no place to tell me what posts to comment on or what not to comment on. This is a public forum. This is the internent.
Make sense?
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Why are you still on these boards if they're so awful?
From the post I've seen from you it looks like go on threads and frequently post s*** stirring comments to trigger responses. It's like a child wanting attention so bad they don't care if the attention is positive or negative.
Edit: quote box weirdness
It's unfortunate because everyone for the most part had very clear and concerned messages, I do agree that OP... You were dodging them pretty much left and right but that's ok! It's your life! But hopefully you can reread some of this and know we do have your back, just don't want to read about how your being all sad and lonely and what not ... Get out and have an amazing life, making friends and going to school, and sure... ttc at the same time