Godparents

brubabe

Has anyone else chosen the godparents for their LO? How did you decide? My husband says the dad chooses the godfather and the mom chooses the godmother. I think we should choose both together but should have someone from his family and someone from my family. any thoughts?

Serenamarr

A bit unconventional, but we have a set of godparents that are married (FI's brother and his wife, will be godparents at the baptism) and then also have asked two of our mutual friends who are not a couple to be a godfather and godmother in more of a symbolic, guiding positive force in our baby's life kind of way.

iheartpancake

This has been a huge point of contention and stress in our family. Both my sister and my husband's sister thought they were entitled to being the godparents, like it wasn't even a question. My sister in law actually thought she was also entitled to being the legal guardian since she was obviously the godparent. She lives in the UK while my husband moved here to the U.S. almost ten years ago and we have no intention of moving there. We ended up talking to our priest (I'm Catholic and the child will be raised Catholic) and neither of them are actually able to be a godparent. There are some crazy rules within the Church that prevented both of them. We instead asked my other ex step-sister and my sister in law's husband.

If you are asking people to be godparents as a religious aspect, make sure you talk to your Church about the rules. I never would've imagined it could be so difficult! From what I've read on here from people before it seems some people choose godparents to be influential in the child's life but not so much a religious thing. If that's the case, I think you and your husband should choose together. I would try and make sure you agree that these people have the same views that align with yours. I just couldn't imagine picking separate from my husband. I'm kind of a control freak though

klkonwi

Ahh!!! We are having a difficult time choosing as well. I became catholic when I got married. My family I believe cannot be the godparent unless they are catholic..... And were not too keen on his brother and sis in law..... Soooo we aren't sure. We also want to choose someone who actually upholds the religion part of being a godparent. Being present at religious occasions etc...... It's a tough call....

KaLikeAWind

We're actually I guess not having any. I would choose my sister, but she is on the west coast and I am in the middle of the US, so its not like she would be an influential part of baby's life. She probably will be legal guardian in the event DH and I are indisposed tho. Need to talk to her about that...hmmm.

karaelaine1991

klkonwi said:

Ahh!!! We are having a difficult time choosing as well. I became catholic when I got married. My family I believe cannot be the godparent unless they are catholic..... And were not too keen on his brother and sis in law..... Soooo we aren't sure. We also want to choose someone who actually upholds the religion part of being a godparent. Being present at religious occasions etc...... It's a tough call....

Talk to your priest about the rule on non-Catholic godparents! I don't know if it varies based on diocese, but I'm also Catholic and in my area if one godparent is Catholic, the other doesn't have to be. So maybe you could do his brother and your sister (assuming you have a sister)? 

For ours #1 priority was godparents who would be spiritual mentors, then was financial stability. We ended up going with DH's brother and his wife. I had really, really been pushing for my brother and sister because, honestly, they would have been SO fantastic, but DH really wanted his brother to be the godfather. DH is usually the one who gives in when we're at a disagreement about something and I've been trying to work on compromising more, so when he was so insistent that he wanted BIL and SIL, I eventually gave in. The other thing was, my brother and sister are still in college, while BIL and SIL both have steady jobs and could support LO if need be. Plus, even though they weren't my first choice, they really are awesome people and they're going to be wonderful. I'm happy with our decision  

iheartpancake

You can have one Catholic and one non-Catholic godparent from what I understand as well. Our Church actually wants proof from my brother in law (Church of England) that he is a member of a Church and attends regularly. We were allowed one male and one female. The Catholic godparent had to have proof of completed sacraments. My sister was a horrible example as a godparent seeing as she never had any of her kids baptized and was married and divorced outside of the Church so the deacon recommended not having her. We knew her back up was my other sister so that meant our other godparent had to be a male, meaning it was a no for my sister in law. Both sisters are going to be "whitnesses", but have no real relevance to anything to do with the whole thing. It's been a real mess for us. I honestly wish there was an elope option to baptism.

Knottie36157349

My husband picked his cousin and I picked his sister for our first .this time around I picked both and he was ok with that .it's his uncle from the side of the family and his aunt that's on the other side their both our favorite

Katerina&Baby

In my culture you typically choose the best man and maid of honor as godparents of your first born so that's what we will do (DH's best friend and my sister). Thankfully only one of them needs to be in good standing in my church and my sister is (DH and his BFF are A different religion)

ElRuby

iheartpancake said:

This has been a huge point of contention and stress in our family. Both my sister and my husband's sister thought they were entitled to being the godparents, like it wasn't even a question. My sister in law actually thought she was also entitled to being the legal guardian since she was obviously the godparent. She lives in the UK while my husband moved here to the U.S. almost ten years ago and we have no intention of moving there. We ended up talking to our priest (I'm Catholic and the child will be raised Catholic) and neither of them are actually able to be a godparent. There are some crazy rules within the Church that prevented both of them. We instead asked my other ex step-sister and my sister in law's husband.

If you are asking people to be godparents as a religious aspect, make sure you talk to your Church about the rules. I never would've imagined it could be so difficult! From what I've read on here from people before it seems some people choose godparents to be influential in the child's life but not so much a religious thing. If that's the case, I think you and your husband should choose together. I would try and make sure you agree that these people have the same views that align with yours. I just couldn't imagine picking separate from my husband. I'm kind of a control freak though

Yeah... With my first they refused to let my Catholic sister be the godmother until she had her marriage officially blessed by the priest (and she didn't even need her husband to be there for it!)... They only require one catholic godparent and the other can be a "Christian sponsor".... At least in the Roman Cathlic church.

sschwege

klkonwi said:

Ahh!!! We are having a difficult time choosing as well. I became catholic when I got married. My family I believe cannot be the godparent unless they are catholic..... And were not too keen on his brother and sis in law..... Soooo we aren't sure. We also want to choose someone who actually upholds the religion part of being a godparent. Being present at religious occasions etc...... It's a tough call....

Only one person has to be a practicing Catholic and must have received all of the sacraments including Catholic marriage (if married) the other can be someone outside of the faith.  Technically they are considered a witness, but their role in the ceremony is the same, the only difference is they are listed as 'witness' on the certificate, but we still say the witnesses in our children's ceremonies are their Godparents. 

jansenlb

I'm catholic as well and each of our children has one godparent who is catholic and the other is not. Since my husband was raised Lutheran and became catholic when we got married, this was the only way for us to include his family. Our priest just said that obviously the one who is not catholic needs to be a Christian. Not sure if that would be different in other areas or not.