I feel guilty for writing this but I just really need to vent and I feel like this is a safe place to do so-judgment free.
I'm feeling really frustrated and tired, my husband won't help me with our new born baby. I'm the one who wakes up at night to feed and change the baby, and during the day when he's home it's the same thing. He works so at first I felt bad waking him up so he can help but im wondering if he's going to use that as an excuse forever... I understand he's tired but so am I.. Idk If im being selfish but idk how else to feel. It's almost 5 am and the baby has been waking up and crying since 2 am, he FINALLY heard the baby cry and woke up for like 3 seconds to ask "she's still crying? Have you slept?" And for a second I thought he was going to get up and actually help me when I said I haven't slept but all he did was turn around and fall back asleep.. It's so frustrating!! Anyone else going through something similar? I just really needed to vent

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Re: Husband won't help with newborn...
Are you exclusively Breast feeding? How much does your husband work? The problem I have with asking husband to help with baby that's crying or awake is that I can't sleep while I know baby is awake .. But maybe that's just me.
That all being said... With my first this all was much worse and it created big problems in our marriage. I felt very alone and like he didn't care. This time it's different because we talked about expectations before kiddo was born and so on.
So my advice to you is that you really really need to sit him down (preferably when you're not super emotional and have had even a little sleep) and explain that you need help or at least to feel like he cares . And this (lay out very clear and realistic expectations at this point) is how you feel he can best help you or make you feel like he cares.
And make sure and ask him about what he is feeling and if there is something you can do to help ect. It's very possible he just doesn't know what to do and to cope with the uncertainty and the feelings of inadequacy he's just "checking out" and leaving you be. That's how my husband felt with our first and it took a long time to recover from the damage the lack of communication did to our marriage .
Best of luck !! I hope it gets better!
And don't ever ever hesitate to bring a neutral third party like a therapist or a mutual close friend in to the conversation to help you guys communicate
On top of those, do you have a swing for the baby? That is my lifesaver and has been with both babies. If we can't hold her or if i want her to stay asleep for a while i put her in the swing and she's asleep soundly. Maybe it'd help you too.
We get the "fun" part of being with the baby nursing day long, whereas they get stuck with all the housework, dog walking, shopping, etc that has nothing to do with baby. Can't be very fun when you are sleep deprived. So maybe try handing off baby so you can do some of the regular chores.....
In all fairness he does let me sleep in the am and takes the baby for a couple hours. Still frustrating sometimes.