HELP!!MIL branding herself as "Nana" but...

JayKaygill

My MIL keeps signing everything Nana and saying Nana is excited when I give her updates or put anything on Facebook but there is a HUGE problem with that! My grandmothers name is Nana. That is what we all call her and it's her actually name to my whole family including what my husband calls her & has always known her as. So calling her Nana is not going to be okay. Lol. She keeps sending us messages saying nana is excited and the first time Josh said o, you ran into Nana, my grandma? Lol. He completely thought she was talking about my grandma & he felt pretty terrible. But she knows that is my grandmas name! And I think she is actually kind of jealous that I'm so close with her. My grandma is more like my mom than my actually mom. The last thing I want to do is hurt my MIL's feelings but there is no way I will call her Nana or teach my child to call her Nana. What should/can I do??? Any advice??

BeachBabe22

Next time she refers to herself as nana I would politely say that you already have a nana and think it might be confusing to your child if there are two of them. Ask her if there's any other names she would like to be called.

slp213psu

My grandparents were named the same on both sides. We just called them Nannie (Last name) and PopPop (last name).
My nephew's also had the same and he cutely nicknamed them Mom Mom Pop (because my dad is living) and Mom Mom Cat (because my SIL's father passed before my nephew was born).

kasb

Growing up, I also called both of my grandmother's Nana. We referred to them as Nana and then their first name. I wasn't confused at all.

JayKaygill

Maybe bc it's all new for her to be calling herself Nana, that's it's weird! Maybe it will get better as time goes on. But I'm not saying that I will ever really like that she wants to be called that . Maybe I need to start adding her first name after Nana or something like that! If I/we confront her about it or make a big deal because all hell will break loose with the inlaws so ️trying not to have to go that route.

excited2bmommy09

We call both sets of our grandparents the same names as well. Ours were just Grandma and Papa (last names were used after if they weren't present). Our great grandparents were the same, Grandma and Papa. There was never any confusion or hurt feelings that no one had their own title. 

I do get that it's kinda weird to think of someone else as Nana, but your MIL will be your baby's Nana and hopefully develop a special relationship with her like you have with yours. It's still tripping me out that my baby will be calling my dad Papa. At first I was like, no that's wrong, I have a Papa already. But this is baby's Papa not mine. I don't know if I'm making any sense lol. I'm pregnancy rambling

8-}

trj724

My dads mom had always been grandma, even her kids call her grandma now, when my oldest came along he started calling my mom grandma Anne! No one seemed to mind. I wouldn't make to much a big deal out of it. Sometimes kids come up with their own names for grandparents regardless of what they want to be called!

nika716

trj724 said:

My dads mom had always been grandma, even her kids call her grandma now, when my oldest came along he started calling my mom grandma Anne! No one seemed to mind. I wouldn't make to much a big deal out of it. Sometimes kids come up with their own names for grandparents regardless of what they want to be called!

I agree, my son branded both sets of grandparents weba (grandma) and webo (grandpa) we are not sure where he got the names or why he called them that but since he was the 1st grandchild now all the other grandchildren call my parents and inlaws same.

bracybabies

Simply tell her that you want her to have a name that is hers, and not group her with another member of the family.
Also, my brother is from moms first marriage so his kids have 4 grandmas if you count his ex wife's mom too, and because of this they have "grandma Graham" and "grandma Nini"

So maybe Nana "last name" could be an alternative? MIL's can feel a lot like playing politics.

ForeverEverAfter

Maybe your grandmother can stay "Nana" and your MIL be "Nana (MIL's name). We have 1 duplicate and some similar names and my 2yo knows who is who. Our 8 parents are: Grandma/Grandpa, Nanny/Poppa, Annie/Poppy, Hanny/Oma-ma. Our grandparents are Gran/Grandad, Grandma (not seen often, we may do Grandma Last Name When older) and Pop.

mamaroo317

Kids will definitely make up their own names for them in the future.. We have a ma and pa (my mom &step dad), meme and happy (my moms parents- apparently pulled those names out of my rear end when I was 3, and they stuck.), nanny and papaw (my step dads parents), nina and granddad (dhs dad and stepmom- her name isn't Nina, its Meredith. Have no idea where the kids came up with that one..), grandma and Adam (dhs mom step dad), mamaw (dhs grandmother) and a parley (my dad.. His name is Larry, and when my nephew was little he got confused saying "pa Larry".. Thus parley was born!)

With both of mine and my husbands parents divorced and remarried, it makes for lots of Christmases and lots of names to get confusing for little ears.. I almost wish we had a bunch of "grandma- name". .. And that's not to mention dhs 5 brothers, all with names that start with L ..,close cousins on both sides named Eli, And the fact that I have 2 sisters named Emily (one half, one step) who both insist on being called "auntie em".. My poor children..

You may want to just add a first or last name after nana to help clarify until your kiddo names them!

aprilmay92

I had two "Grammy's" when I was a kid. I just called them both Grammy and if I had to specify I said "Grammy Barbara" for or "Grammy Donna". But that rarely came up.

J0C0TX

or your child will do it for you.

my dad was granddad until my oldest called him papa and that's what it's been since then

put her name after it.  and see how it goes. 

 

shhhambersays

Same thing happened to me with my first.she is now Nana M. Its seems to work, everyone's happy.

JayKaygill

Thanks for the advice ladies! It really helps a lot! I do have 5 other sets of grandparents that we all just call grandma and grandpa without adding any first names or last names and it's not confusing or weird. Lol. Nana just always felt like a first name to me or something. If that even makes sense. It may still annoy me for awhile but it sounds like it will all work itself out.

sschwege

JayKaygill said:

Thanks for the advice ladies! It really helps a lot! I do have 5 other sets of grandparents that we all just call grandma and grandpa without adding any first names or last names and it's not confusing or weird. Lol. Nana just always felt like a first name to me or something. If that even makes sense. It may still annoy me for awhile but it sounds like it will all work itself out.

I think you are smart to let this one go.  We always just called our grandparents, 'grandma and grandpa' so to keep it clear in my 4 year old mind I would say, "Grandma with the dog on it" which meant my mother's side since they had a dog.  I think your MIL has a right to pick a name that she wants to be called, provided it's not 'mama' of course

cjstats87

My parents and inlaws are both grandma and papa...they say grandma when with them but add their first name after when we talk about them any other time...they also called my husbands grandma GG while she was still living and no one ever got confused! I do also have to say I have a brother Jeff and a brother in law Jeff so we have our hands full with "same names" ;-)

MrsPyrowiz

cjstats87 said:

My parents and inlaws are both grandma and papa...they say grandma when with them but add their first name after when we talk about them any other time...they also called my husbands grandma GG while she was still living and no one ever got confused! I do also have to say I have a brother Jeff and a brother in law Jeff so we have our hands full with "same names" ;-)

I get the same name stuff. My brother and SIL's kids have an Uncle Justin on our side of the family and and Aunt Justin (it is Justin. Not Justine, just to clarify.) on my SIL's side. Now that's confusing.

serenityuy01

Since your Nana is kind of like a mom to you I can understand it feeling weirdly personal for your MIL to want to be called that. If that's part of the reason you may just try and explain that to her gently and ask if there is anything else she would like to be called. If she's reasonable I'm sure she will understand but fingers crossed it works out for you

nikkidavis421

Both sets of my grandparents were called grandma and grandpa. Sadly, my children only have one living grandma (my mom) so we don't run into this issue in our family but I agree with the PP's who have said that your nana is YOURS and your MIL will be your child's nana. I also think it would be fine to use your MIL's first name after nana when neither of the nana's are present so your child knows which one you're talking about but it might be hurtful for your child to call your MIL "Nana (first name)" to her face. My mom prefers to be called grandma and I know it would bother her if any of her grandchildren called her "Grandma Sandy" to her face.

KERJF

I totally feel with (with good reason!) this is more of a name territory thing .. than a confusion thing. And thats super okay.
I call my moms mom - Geema - I always have since I started talking. My cousin tried called her that and I remember telling her to take a hike and find a new name lol.
that being said - we like others for other people, just used Grandpa LastName and it was fine.

jbettles

My daughter calls both her grandmas "Nana," but calls one "Nana-Papa" and the other "Nana-Grandpa" when talking to me about them (obviously the two grandfathers are Papa and Grandpa). I tried using the first names to help her out, but it didn't stick. Kids will call them what works for their little minds. My sister's MIL insisted on being Nana (which was fine), but the kids refused, and call her Grandma. Not to spite her, just what they call her. The kids will drive the names

insomniack17

My MIL kept referring herself to Meema for the longest time to get my son to call her that. He still ended up calling her Grandma because that's what I call her when referring to her at home. She finally just accepted it.

crazeekates

My nieces called my mother gram E (Grammy) cuz her name is Elizabeth, and their paternal grandma Be Be since her name is Barbara. She hated it at first, cus SHE wanted to be Grammy, but now loves it. It's sweet and doesn't make her sound too old. Think of something like that and just refer to her as that when the kid is small. Then say the kid picked it out. It'll work

jbettles

crazeekates said:

My nieces called my mother gram E (Grammy) cuz her name is Elizabeth, and their paternal grandma Be Be since her name is Barbara. She hated it at first, cus SHE wanted to be Grammy, but now loves it. It's sweet and doesn't make her sound too old. Think of something like that and just refer to her as that when the kid is small. Then say the kid picked it out. It'll work

Hmm I wonder if my sister did this, and that's why her MIL is grandma instead of nana... Lol! My sis is sneaky enough that I wouldn't put it past her!!

Vane8910

What if you add her name to it like say her name is Joyce, you'd say Nana Joyce. In Spanish we distinguish which grandma it is by putting - ita at the end of abuela. My mom's mom is abuela and my dad's mom is abuelita. Maybe you could find a way to not hurt her feelings and still differentiate both sides lol. And my son has two grandpas but he says the good one and the bad one lol. My dad is the bad one because he is always teasing him.

mel0601

We have a nana and a nanie

nursekatie47

My grandmother goes by Grammy (so did her mom) and my mom wanted to go by Grammy too. I love my Grammy, so we compromised and call her Grammy B (first initial of her last name) and we call my mom Grammy. When we are with then separately we just call them Grammy.

Unfortunately I don't think it's really up to you want your MIL wants to be called as a grandparent, she has to live with being called that for the rest of her life.

thefuturemrsdaniel

She can say it all she wants but you have more input in her name because your teaching the child. Plus kids change the name anyway haha my MIL is Gram. The 1st grandchild calls her Ham. The 2nd says Gram and the 3rd says Dam. Haha I would just leave it alone. Whatever adults pick out the kids change it anyway.