I left it up to DH since he's the one with the penis. We're having it done becaus the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks for us. I'm all for letting the kiddos make their own decisions about their bodies but I've heard too many horror stories of boys that need circumcision later in life for me to feel comfortable with not doing it. That being said, it's a very personal choice and there's not a right answer for everyone!
I did a lot of research and just couldn't find a compelling enough reason. I really wanted my husband to be involved in the decision and at first he was 100% for having it done, until he did some of the research himself. What really put us off was the fact that the reason it's so popular in this country stems back to the belief that it would prevent boys from masturbating.
I get the cleanliness arguments, but circumcision isn't nearly as popular in Europe as in the US and Canada, and it's not like that continent is full of men walking around with festering infections. We'll teach our son how to properly clean his foreskin. I'm sure that with the current decline in popularity for the procedure, by the time he's an old man in a nursing home, caretakers will be better equipped to help him keep the area clean (or, you know, a lifetime of practice just might enable him to do that himself).
And if he really wants the procedure done, he can choose to do so when he's capable of making that decision. I just don't feel comfortable altering his natural body without any strong medical evidence that it's absolutely necessary.
I work in healthcare and took care of newborns for 5 years. Parents used to ask my opinion all the time and I would tell them do it like daddy has it. When boys grow up they compare with the males in their lives so If daddy is circumcised then think about having your boy like daddy. This is what we did. My 2 year old is and so will these two boys we are having now. I do however request the doctor doing the procedure use EMLA cream first to numb the skin, then lidocaine to numb completely before doing any cutting.
For those of you worried about pain for your child (I'm not recommending either way, just lurking and commenting), my son slept through the procedure, done at 1 month old (hospital preferred I take him to a specialist because of an artery running close to the area). He was cranky afterwards, but no more than when he was colicky or started teething.
I really don't like the saying, "have him look like daddy"
Even though my fiance is circumcised and my 2 year old son is and this new baby boy will be too, I'm not doing it because that's what daddy looks like.
Please just teach your kids that every penis looks different and that his penis doesn't need to look any certain way. If your kid ever wonders why his penis doesn't look like his dads just tell him that every one is different!
I would never tell someone to make their son's penis the way their dad's is. Don't ever tell your son to compare.! or even let them compare.
Bobby Llewellyn born September 29, 2012 Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015 MC in February 2017 MC in November 2017 Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
@sarahsairsair I'm also surprised this thread has been so cordial. One of my friends on Facebook posted about this the other day and that thread turned into a shit show. She and most of her friends thought of it as mutilation, and the couple of people who disagreed were torn apart. I decided not to get into it because it's less complicated to fight with strangers over it than with friends.
If we have a boy, we're getting it done. I know three guys (including my older brother) that had to have it done later because of health complications and it was more traumatic and painful to them than if they'd had it done when they were infants.
And yeah, the aesthetic thing (Why don't I look like daddy?) sounds like a superficial thing on the surface but it can be important to your child growing up.
My other older brother (the one without the foreskin problem, because my parents learned their lesson their first son) was born with a massive puffy brown birthmark under his chin.
My parents were going to leave it up to him to remove later on, but by the time he was three years old he was starting to get stressed when he'd meet new people. The first thing they'd say to him when they met him was 'Oh you poor thing, how did you hurt yourself??' because they thought he'd just fallen and busted his chin or whatever,
It got to the point where instead of replying 'hi' to someone new he'd say 'It's a birthmark.' When he was THREE.
So my parents decided to have it removed, and it turned out to be the right thing for my brother. He hated his baby pictures so much that he threw most of them out as an adult (which made my mom so sad, but she was sneaky and a couple of them survived). He still has self-esteem issues with the way he looks even though he's a very handsome man ( I swear my friends only came over to my house in middle school because they were hoping my brother was home so they could giggle over him)
I know a birthmark on the face isn't the same as deciding you want to remove your son's foreskin, I just wanted to point out that even though aesthetics shouldn't matter, sometimes they do.
For myself and my partner it's less about that then potential health issues, though.
Also, I just realized I know way to much about my brothers' penises.
I have very mixed feelings on this. My husband is Jewish and wanted our son circumsized so we did. But ask the doctor to use a skin numbing creaming. Seeing how sore it looked afterwards I would most certainly not want that done to any part of me with just some sugar water as a distraction!!
I talked to my dh he is and is very pro circumcision and my mom about whether she did based on that we decided to go for but I told daddy he had to be there for it
Has anyone done "8th day circumcision" for their baby? I've heard there are less antibiotics involved and that the baby's body heals better because that was God's intention. One of my friends had her son circumcised at birth and somehow the surgeon messed it up a bit. He had some pretty bad infections to deal with.
DH and I both agree that we will have any sons circumsized. DS was 1 month old when he was circumsized. They froze the area and did the procedure. He cried when they did the needle but then he was fine. I cried a little but I still felt it was better than not doing it. I agree that I want my sons to look like their dad. We can still teach them not to compare and judge.
My son won't be circumcised. All males on either side of the family are uncircumcised and are just fine. DH is happy the way he is and balks at the idea of having it done to his son and he can teach him how to take care of himself properly. And for me personally, I've looked closely at the research and I don't find it compelling enough to warrant circumcision.
Circumcise or not, make whatever choice feels best for you. But I have to say I'm really not impressed by certain people (the minority, of course) who choose to circumcise and who follow up their explanation with something along the lines of 'Tee hee! Uncircumcised penises look funny/ugly!'. All boys come into the world looking like that, and as many on either side have stated, we should be approaching this with the attitude of teaching our sons that all penises are different and acceptable. Grow up.
My son won't be circumcised. All males on either side of the family are uncircumcised and are just fine. DH is happy the way he is and balks at the idea of having it done to his son and he can teach him how to take care of himself properly. And for me personally, I've looked closely at the research and I don't find it compelling enough to warrant circumcision.
Circumcise or not, make whatever choice feels best for you. But I have to say I'm really not impressed by certain people (the minority, of course) who choose to circumcise and who follow up their explanation with something along the lines of 'Tee hee! Uncircumcised penises look funny/ugly!'. All boys come into the world looking like that, and as many on either side have stated, we should be approaching this with the attitude of teaching our sons that all penises are different and acceptable. Grow up.
I agree the " that looks weird" isn't a good argument, especially when it involves a permanent change
We have tossed the idea around. Dad isn't & we aren't really sure if we want our son circumcised or not. He did say he was made fun of a little when he was younger but nothing that had lasting effects on his self esteem.
If I have a boy he is having it done. He doesnt have to look like dad. It will be better for him in the long run. Its 2015
I don't get this. It is 2015, and historically more parents are not circumcising in the 21st century in the US than previous years
exactly- your point doesn't make sense- maybe you could have said that 20 years ago but not now- if you research you will see that the number of circumcisions has gone done significantly
My husband is circumcised and we both did lots of research and decided not to have our first circumcised- we want him to be born with everything God made him to be and have the free choice to decide if he wants to keep it or not (not enough compelling evidence to have it done). On a side note- my husband has friends that were both circumcised and not and said growing up it was nothing anyone ever thought was "weird" or "ugly", the guys were guys and it was never something someone made fun of - and honestly when he grows up if a girl thinks my sons penis is creepy or ugly, she is really not the type of girl I would want him to be with
My nephew slept through his. It's quick & they use an anesthetic cream to help numb it before the procedure. If it was as awful as some people claim it is they wouldn't still be doing it a thousand years later.
My son had it done I have no regret. Two each his own. I did it because it's what I know to be cleaner and safer my cousin had to have it done at 17 it was a horrible experience for him. It's more difficult the older they get.
Many people are citing examples of children they know that chose to get it done later in life and it being really painful, and using that as a reason to circumcise. That and saying it's healthier/cleaner/prevents infection. Just curious if anyone has heard of examples where an uncircumcised person has experienced infections due to keeping their foreskin? From my research it is very clear that the "cleaner" argument has been thoroughly debunked. All children, girls included, need to learn how to safely and properly clean their genitals....it's no big deal to me or any man in my family.
I just think it's interesting that the scary examples being cited for the pro side are actually FROM circumcision....With so many people these days generally using anecdotal evidence in these types of discussions, it's interesting that there are literally no horror stories from not getting circumcised.
Many people are citing examples of children they know that chose to get it done later in life and it being really painful, and using that as a reason to circumcise. That and saying it's healthier/cleaner/prevents infection. Just curious if anyone has heard of examples where an uncircumcised person has experienced infections due to keeping their foreskin? From my research it is very clear that the "cleaner" argument has been thoroughly debunked. All children, girls included, need to learn how to safely and properly clean their genitals....it's no big deal to me or any man in my family.
I just think it's interesting that the scary examples being cited for the pro side are actually FROM circumcision....With so many people these days generally using anecdotal evidence in these types of discussions, it's interesting that there are literally no horror stories from not getting circumcised.
I'm curious as to where you see this? A lot of older men get infected foreskins and have to have them removed. It's really unpleasant seeing it from a medical care provider's point of view, and that is definitely enough of a horror story from not getting circumcised for me personally.
DH comes from a country where they don't circumcise, and our sons are not going to be circumcised, either. It's unnecessary surgery, in my opinion. I'm not removing something just because it *could* get infected later on. So could an appendix, tonsils, etc.
Mama to two crazy kiddos J -- 9/04 L -- 11/10 E -- 7/15
Many people are citing examples of children they know that chose to get it done later in life and it being really painful, and using that as a reason to circumcise. That and saying it's healthier/cleaner/prevents infection. Just curious if anyone has heard of examples where an uncircumcised person has experienced infections due to keeping their foreskin? From my research it is very clear that the "cleaner" argument has been thoroughly debunked. All children, girls included, need to learn how to safely and properly clean their genitals....it's no big deal to me or any man in my family.
I just think it's interesting that the scary examples being cited for the pro side are actually FROM circumcision....With so many people these days generally using anecdotal evidence in these types of discussions, it's interesting that there are literally no horror stories from not getting circumcised.
I'm curious as to where you see this? A lot of older men get infected foreskins and have to have them removed. It's really unpleasant seeing it from a medical care provider's point of view, and that is definitely enough of a horror story from not getting circumcised for me personally.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To me this can be 100% prevented if the man or his caregiver were properly cleaning the penis. I also work in healthcare and I don't feel that healthcare workers are that familiar as a whole with the care of the uncircumcised penis
Of course there are cases where infections occur from circumcision or something goes wrong with the procedure - my dr made sure we were aware of this possibility and also the likelihood of it happening. As they should whenever you make a huge decision like this- it's not something we took lightly.
I agree with everyone stating they work in healthcare. Keeping it clean becomes an issue. I work in long term care and have seen nothing but complications from foreskins. My ex husband wasn't circumcised. I swear I got a yeast infection or bacterial infection every other week. It was a nightmare. We'd seriously discussed him getting circumcised as an adult. My husband now is circumcised, and I have no problems. When I have a son, he'll definitely be circumcised.
I agree with everyone stating they work in healthcare. Keeping it clean becomes an issue. I work in long term care and have seen nothing but complications from foreskins. My ex husband wasn't circumcised. I swear I got a yeast infection or bacterial infection every other week. It was a nightmare. We'd seriously discussed him getting circumcised as an adult. My husband now is circumcised, and I have no problems. When I have a son, he'll definitely be circumcised.
Sorry as mentioned above I work in healthcare and that is all the more reason for me not to circumcise my child if it is a boy. I am a nurse and work with adults and kids, and don't see the need in performing a permanent physically altering procedure on my son, when proper hygiene would prevent what you have discussed. I think most healthcare workers in the US are not as familiar with uncircumcised penises and do not clean them properly, which is why the elderly in long term care may have issues. Elderly women also get nasty infections under their boobs, but I am not giving my daughter a mastectomy
I agree with everyone stating they work in healthcare. Keeping it clean becomes an issue. I work in long term care and have seen nothing but complications from foreskins. My ex husband wasn't circumcised. I swear I got a yeast infection or bacterial infection every other week. It was a nightmare. We'd seriously discussed him getting circumcised as an adult. My husband now is circumcised, and I have no problems. When I have a son, he'll definitely be circumcised.
Sorry as mentioned above I work in healthcare and that is all the more reason for me not to circumcise my child if it is a boy. I am a nurse and work with adults and kids, and don't see the need in performing a permanent physically altering procedure on my son, when proper hygiene would prevent what you have discussed. I think most healthcare workers in the US are not as familiar with uncircumcised penises and do not clean them properly, which is why the elderly in long term care may have issues. Elderly women also get nasty infections under their boobs, but I am not giving my daughter a mastectomy
Your comparison with a mastectomy is a good one. Or you could argue the same point about many other body parts, or getting bed sores etc. I just don't feel that infections in the elderly caused by poor or uninformed healthcare is reason enough to give my child an unnecessary procedure. I feel lucky to live somewhere with excellent healthcare so am not worried about my someday eldery son. And I'd hope by the time your boys are in nursing homes the US health care system will have come a long way if it really is such a concern at this point!
I think what people tend to forget is that the foreskin DOES have a function. It's not a "useless" piece of skin. The glans of a penis is very sensitive (much like our clitoris), and the skin on it is very thin. The foreskin protects that sensitive glans. Can you imagine removing your child's labia just because it "might get infected"? No. But it serves the same purpose as the foreskin.
When someone is circumcised, their body must compensate for that sensitivity. It causes the glans to develop a much thicker skin layer (to combat the sensitivity that happens when it is constantly exposed to fibers of clothing, movement, etc.). Now, obviously, no circumcised male is going to say, "Well, sex doesn't feel as good for me." BUT it's kind of hard for them to know whether or not that's the truth, because they've only ever been circumcised.
We didn't base our decision on our son's future sexual pleasure, but it is an element to consider. Just like many people don't think the appendix has a purpose (it does, it's part of our immune system), the foreskin has one, too.
Mama to two crazy kiddos J -- 9/04 L -- 11/10 E -- 7/15
I watched one of much sons being circumcised and it was awful. He screamed his head off and it was obviously very painful for him.They numbed him before hand but it was basically the most terrible thing I've ever seen done to a newborn baby. I would never do it again
There is only one person who should make the decision whether or not to circumcise: the owner of the penis.
The foreskin is a valuable, functional organ. Boys these days are growing up with this information available to them on the internet. Circumcised boys are learning that the most sensitive part of the penis has been taken from them and many of them are very upset. Many are trying to re-grow their foreskins. Many are confronting their parents about how they feel. This isn't like when our husbands grew up and nobody knew any better.
Indeed. I agree that healthcare workers are not properly trained in dealing with foreskins. Since US circumcision percentages went from 50% to 90% after WWII, it's easy to see why a younger generation caring for the older generation doesn't know quite how to handle the foreskin. I'm not so concerned with when my child is 80 years old. That's nearly a century away, and I won't be around for that. However, having been intimate with someone who was not circumcised and the issues it caused is my foremost reasoning. And in response, if the foreskin had even a remotely comparable function as a woman's breasts I could see how that comparison would make sense. But in the same idea breasts are often altered if they cause an adult issues. At that time then an adult woman makes that decision as an adult, because breasts aren't present on an infant.
Didn't realize so many men weren't circumcised until reading this post. I'd actually have my son circumcised to avoid potential problems later in life. I wouldn't want him to need the procedure when he's older and it be a horrible experience.
My sis in law said its best to get it done when her son was still unable to crawl as they don't kick around so much and it heals quicker. I think everyone should have it done the benefits are too great to not!
This conversation is a bit freightening...it almost seems as if a male is uncircumcised he's tainted or has significant problems later in life. I guess it's because everyone has (and is entitled to) their own opinion.
My DH is from Germany where they don't circumcise. I'm of the opinion that the child should "look like" the father as it's easier to explain, provide direction/recommendations on care and cleaning.
If we were having a boy we absolutely would NOT circumsise him.
We are having a boy and we are definitely circumcising. I feel it's cleaner and later in life when he has girlfriends he will thank us. I have never been with a guy who had the foreskin. I don't think I could. I rather do it when he is a newborn so he won't remember it.
We are having a boy and we are definitely circumcising. I feel it's cleaner and later in life when he has girlfriends he will thank us. I have never been with a guy who had the foreskin. I don't think I could. I rather do it when he is a newborn so he won't remember it.
I don't think that's true at all. I was with one guy who wasn't circumcised and it didn't bother me in the least. When the penis is erect the foreskin is pulled back so it pretty much looks like a circumcised penis at that point. In the US the circumcision rate is just above 50%, so it's going to be pretty evenly split as to those who are circumcised and those who are not.
Oh and this is coming from a mama who DOES circumcise, so I have no stake in this whatsoever. I just found what you said to be insensitive @jessika9210
I'm having a girl so this is not something I had to decide. That being said, it would have been clear cut for me to choose never to mutilate my beautiful child for aesthetic purposes. They are born with it for a reason in my opinion.
I'm having a girl so this is not something I had to decide. That being said, it would have been clear cut for me to choose never to mutilate my beautiful child for aesthetic purposes. They are born with it for a reason in my opinion.
Mutilate...really that's over the top! I've never actually inquired, but I think it's safe to say that Blue Cross does not cover mutilation and yet they payed for DS's circumcision 100%. My best guess is the AAP does not support mutilation and yet, recognizes the benefits of circumcision enough to issue a statement saying that the benefits outweigh the risks, though still supporting leaving it up to the parents to decide. @misheldon
Re: Thoughts on circumcision
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
My parents were going to leave it up to him to remove later on, but by the time he was three years old he was starting to get stressed when he'd meet new people. The first thing they'd say to him when they met him was 'Oh you poor thing, how did you hurt yourself??' because they thought he'd just fallen and busted his chin or whatever,
It got to the point where instead of replying 'hi' to someone new he'd say 'It's a birthmark.' When he was THREE.
So my parents decided to have it removed, and it turned out to be the right thing for my brother. He hated his baby pictures so much that he threw most of them out as an adult (which made my mom so sad, but she was sneaky and a couple of them survived). He still has self-esteem issues with the way he looks even though he's a very handsome man ( I swear my friends only came over to my house in middle school because they were hoping my brother was home so they could giggle over him)
Also, I just realized I know way to much about my brothers' penises.
My son won't be circumcised. All males on either side of the family are uncircumcised and are just fine. DH is happy the way he is and balks at the idea of having it done to his son and he can teach him how to take care of himself properly. And for me personally, I've looked closely at the research and I don't find it compelling enough to warrant circumcision.
Circumcise or not, make whatever choice feels best for you. But I have to say I'm really not impressed by certain people (the minority, of course) who choose to circumcise and who follow up their explanation with something along the lines of 'Tee hee! Uncircumcised penises look funny/ugly!'. All boys come into the world looking like that, and as many on either side have stated, we should be approaching this with the attitude of teaching our sons that all penises are different and acceptable. Grow up.
exactly- your point doesn't make sense- maybe you could have said that 20 years ago but not now- if you research you will see that the number of circumcisions has gone done significantly
My husband is circumcised and we both did lots of research and decided not to have our first circumcised- we want him to be born with everything God made him to be and have the free choice to decide if he wants to keep it or not (not enough compelling evidence to have it done). On a side note- my husband has friends that were both circumcised and not and said growing up it was nothing anyone ever thought was "weird" or "ugly", the guys were guys and it was never something someone made fun of - and honestly when he grows up if a girl thinks my sons penis is creepy or ugly, she is really not the type of girl I would want him to be with
I just think it's interesting that the scary examples being cited for the pro side are actually FROM circumcision....With so many people these days generally using anecdotal evidence in these types of discussions, it's interesting that there are literally no horror stories from not getting circumcised.
J -- 9/04
L -- 11/10
E -- 7/15
To me this can be 100% prevented if the man or his caregiver were properly cleaning the penis. I also work in healthcare and I don't feel that healthcare workers are that familiar as a whole with the care of the uncircumcised penis
As they should whenever you make a huge decision like this- it's not something we took lightly.
My ex husband wasn't circumcised. I swear I got a yeast infection or bacterial infection every other week. It was a nightmare. We'd seriously discussed him getting circumcised as an adult. My husband now is circumcised, and I have no problems. When I have a son, he'll definitely be circumcised.
When someone is circumcised, their body must compensate for that sensitivity. It causes the glans to develop a much thicker skin layer (to combat the sensitivity that happens when it is constantly exposed to fibers of clothing, movement, etc.). Now, obviously, no circumcised male is going to say, "Well, sex doesn't feel as good for me." BUT it's kind of hard for them to know whether or not that's the truth, because they've only ever been circumcised.
We didn't base our decision on our son's future sexual pleasure, but it is an element to consider. Just like many people don't think the appendix has a purpose (it does, it's part of our immune system), the foreskin has one, too.
J -- 9/04
L -- 11/10
E -- 7/15
DS #1 David Anthony, Born on 10/15/08
DS #2 Jacob Fielding, Born on 12/01/10
BFP #3 July 2013, M/C 10/4/13
BFP #4 11/14/14, EDD 07/21/14
The foreskin is a valuable, functional organ. Boys these days are growing up with this information available to them on the internet. Circumcised boys are learning that the most sensitive part of the penis has been taken from them and many of them are very upset. Many are trying to re-grow their foreskins. Many are confronting their parents about how they feel. This isn't like when our husbands grew up and nobody knew any better.
I'm not so concerned with when my child is 80 years old. That's nearly a century away, and I won't be around for that. However, having been intimate with someone who was not circumcised and the issues it caused is my foremost reasoning.
And in response, if the foreskin had even a remotely comparable function as a woman's breasts I could see how that comparison would make sense. But in the same idea breasts are often altered if they cause an adult issues. At that time then an adult woman makes that decision as an adult, because breasts aren't present on an infant.
My DH is from Germany where they don't circumcise. I'm of the opinion that the child should "look like" the father as it's easier to explain, provide direction/recommendations on care and cleaning.
If we were having a boy we absolutely would
NOT circumsise him.
Oh and this is coming from a mama who DOES circumcise, so I have no stake in this whatsoever. I just found what you said to be insensitive @jessika9210