Told the ultrasound tech we didn't want to know the gender but she accidentally told us... :(

AllyseGrant

Today was my 19 week appt.. When I went into the room with the ultrasound tech I told her immediately we didn't want to know, I told her we were going to do a huge gender reveal party and gave her a slip of paper to circle boy or girl on it and then to put it into the envelope so I could give it to the baker and he was going to make the cake blue or pink inside and it be a huge suprise, she thought it was very cool, I asked her to please tell me when to close my eyes or look away when it was time to look for the gender, She said ok no problem... About 5 minutes into the ultrasound she goes "Its a boy!!!".. I looked at her in horror, she then panicked and said OMG I'm SO SORRY, In all my years I've NEVER done that. I started bawling my eyes out, I am so sad I feel like I just got the greatest surprise ripped away from me. She started crying freaking out that she was going to get in trouble from the doctors in the office.. I felt bad for her because I don't know if she could lose her job or get in big trouble but at the same time NOTHING is going to bring back the excitement my husband and I were going to have together with our friends and family.

My husband still doesn't want to know, I feel like I'm carrying such a weight an am so depressed. I'm not normally a surprise person but have been waiting literally since I found out I was pregnant to do this and now i'm devastated

Has anybody else gone through this, any comforting words to help me would be greatly appreciated  

carrieharry79

Aww I haven't gone through this but I'm so sorry!! That's so sad. Congratulations on the healthy baby boy though! I'm glad your ultrasound went well other than that!

AllyseGrant

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I am already a parent thanks. Since baby showers are pretty 'taboo' with second children I really wanted a special event for this child to celebrate. I do feel devastated considering over $500+ was spent on planning this event and I feel like "faking a surprise reaction" kinda sucks regardless if its only a tradition that's been a round for a 'minute'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people that wanted to wait until birth because I could only imagine how they would of felt. I feel like I got a blow to the chest because the anticipation was crushed instead of a special moment with my husband I got one by myself. Maybe you are very impatient and want to know your gender ASAP but this was special to me. Thanks for your input but I'm pretty sure I asked for comforting words not a 'internet bad-ass' to pop my bubble further.

AllyseGrant

BreezyMeema said:

It's a bummer for sure, but an accident. Look on the bright side, you now know a secret that everybody else doesn't know! You can sneakily smile when everyone takes their guess at your gender reveal party.

Side note: is sneakily a word?

Thank you, I've come to terms that I'm just one of those people that 'things never go as planned for', had my wedding outdoors on an island and it stormed so bad it had to be evacuated, bought a brand new car and dosn't start the next day type person.

Miz_Liz

Maybe the tech was screwing with you and it is really a girl! Sorry it was ruined, sounds like it happens, someone else just posted on this same thing (I actually thought this was that post).

JemHolo2015

AllyseGrant said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I am already a parent thanks. Since baby showers are pretty 'taboo' with second children I really wanted a special event for this child to celebrate. I do feel devastated considering over $500+ was spent on planning this event and I feel like "faking a surprise reaction" kinda sucks regardless if its only a tradition that's been a round for a 'minute'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people that wanted to wait until birth because I could only imagine how they would of felt. I feel like I got a blow to the chest because the anticipation was crushed instead of a special moment with my husband I got one by myself. Maybe you are very impatient and want to know your gender ASAP but this was special to me. Thanks for your input but I'm pretty sure I asked for comforting words not a 'internet bad-ass' to pop my bubble further.


Sorry to offend your delicate snowflake sensibilities. You don't get to request only "comforting" replies on a message board, so you might as well know that some people's response to your post will be a giant eye roll. There are thousands of couples out there who would give anything to have a healthy baby. Perhaps think about them and how lucky you are when you're moaning about the fact that your party won't go exactly how you planned.

AllyseGrant

JemHolo2015 said:

AllyseGrant said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I am already a parent thanks. Since baby showers are pretty 'taboo' with second children I really wanted a special event for this child to celebrate. I do feel devastated considering over $500+ was spent on planning this event and I feel like "faking a surprise reaction" kinda sucks regardless if its only a tradition that's been a round for a 'minute'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people that wanted to wait until birth because I could only imagine how they would of felt. I feel like I got a blow to the chest because the anticipation was crushed instead of a special moment with my husband I got one by myself. Maybe you are very impatient and want to know your gender ASAP but this was special to me. Thanks for your input but I'm pretty sure I asked for comforting words not a 'internet bad-ass' to pop my bubble further.

Sorry to offend your delicate snowflake sensibilities. You don't get to request only "comforting" replies on a message board, so you might as well know that some people's response to your post will be a giant eye roll. There are thousands of couples out there who would give anything to have a healthy baby. Perhaps think about them and how lucky you are when your moaning about the fact that your party won't go exactly how you planned.


Well I have never been on a message board, I just assumed it would be filled with mature women (wrong I guess) who all share a bond of motherhood. Thanks for your input, I guess I just learned less 101 of message board rude people.

mamaloaf

You need words of comfort??? You need a serious reality check. There are plenty of women here who need true words of comfort, because they have real problems. You know, like finding out they have dangerous conditions, or that there may be something wrong with their baby.

Sorry about your party, but Jemho isn't the only one majorly eye rolling your 'problems'.

princesslockness

AllyseGrant said:

JemHolo2015 said:

AllyseGrant said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I am already a parent thanks. Since baby showers are pretty 'taboo' with second children I really wanted a special event for this child to celebrate. I do feel devastated considering over $500+ was spent on planning this event and I feel like "faking a surprise reaction" kinda sucks regardless if its only a tradition that's been a round for a 'minute'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people that wanted to wait until birth because I could only imagine how they would of felt. I feel like I got a blow to the chest because the anticipation was crushed instead of a special moment with my husband I got one by myself. Maybe you are very impatient and want to know your gender ASAP but this was special to me. Thanks for your input but I'm pretty sure I asked for comforting words not a 'internet bad-ass' to pop my bubble further.

Sorry to offend your delicate snowflake sensibilities. You don't get to request only "comforting" replies on a message board, so you might as well know that some people's response to your post will be a giant eye roll. There are thousands of couples out there who would give anything to have a healthy baby. Perhaps think about them and how lucky you are when your moaning about the fact that your party won't go exactly how you planned.

Well I have never been on a message board, I just assumed it would be filled with mature women (wrong I guess) who all share a bond of motherhood. Thanks for your input, I guess I just learned less 101 of message board rude people.

I'm siding with JemHolo. You are acting like a toddler who was told no candy before dinner. So you found out several days/weeks early. It's a party. Parties never go as planned, and it's time as a mother you realized that. Crap happens. It's ok to be sad, but devastated because she slipped up? You make it out like you have never spilled a secret or said something you shouldn't have.

Jenkayb

Talk about first world problems.

Amandacarrera516

I'm sorry but are you serious? You should just be happy your baby is healthy. At my 19 week appointment we were told our son had half a brain and half a heart and to terminate. I'd gladly have a tech make a simple mistake as yours. Reality check.

JemHolo2015

Begin mature doesn't mean validating everyone's feelings, no matter how absurd. It is, however, immature to get all butt hurt because you didn't get the answer you wanted or expected.

Lots of people on these boards and on this earth have real problems and need real words of comfort. As far as I can tell, your biggest problem is ENT (extreme narcissistic tendencies).

Amandacarrera516

We are mature women and moms who don't need a pity party for such a petty mistake. I sure hope the tech doesn't get fired for your reaction.

AllyseGrant

As I said I was looking for words of comfort apparently this is the wrong type of board or social media for me, this isn't my first go around I've had loss before this pregnancy so wanting some extra special of a surprise after trying for so long was important to me.

You don't know what I HAVE BEEN THROUGH and I'm going to leave it at that and find somewhere else online.

princesslockness

AllyseGrant said:

As I said I was looking for words of comfort apparently this is the wrong type of board or social media for me, this isn't my first go around I've had loss before this pregnancy so wanting some extra special of a surprise after trying for so long was important to me.

You don't know what I HAVE BEEN THROUGH and I'm going to leave it at that and find somewhere else online.

You don't know what everyone else has been thru. I, myself, have had 3 MC and am only 25.
YOU are not the only one who has had a rough time in life. I still say get over it, it's just a party.

andreaklyman

I'm sure it would have been a special moment, but fortunately you still have a healthy baby regardless of how you are feeling about the simple mistake. I'm sure Amanda, and others in her position, would love to switch places with you. Regardless of where you go on the internet, you are bound to get the same reaction.
You make plans, and God laughs.

I hope one day you realize how lucky you are.

AllyseGrant

Creepy much to stalk me online? My facebook is private unless you did some serious hacker stuff, and looking up my pinterest pins which I have over 734 of is super weird. Thanks you official just weirded me out.

andreaklyman

AllyseGrant said:

Creepy much to stalk me online? My facebook is private unless you did some serious hacker stuff, and looking up my pinterest pins which I have over 734 of is super weird. Thanks you official just weirded me out.

She was just making a general statement. You aren't the only person to act like this. Grow up, no one is stalking you.

princesslockness

AllyseGrant said:

Creepy much to stalk me online? My facebook is private unless you did some serious hacker stuff, and looking up my pinterest pins which I have over 734 of is super weird. Thanks you official just weirded me out.

She didn't actually look you up. She asked if you did that, as its a typical thing for people with ENT.

andreaklyman

Actually, everyone, she has another post a little ways down the board saying the same thing, except it's a girl. Giving her attention is what she's asking for.

AllyseGrant

andreaklyman said:

Actually, everyone, she has another post a little ways down the board saying the same thing, except it's a girl. Giving her attention is what she's asking for.

Can you read?, I commented on another person finding out the gender on accident.
Clearly you women just want to gang up on people like a bunch of high school kids, If I could figure out how to stop getting notifications and delete this I would gladly. 

Miz_Liz

andreaklyman said:

Actually, everyone, she has another post a little ways down the board saying the same thing, except it's a girl. Giving her attention is what she's asking for.

That is not her post...different poster, same situation.

JemHolo2015

Starynightsky24 said:

JemHolo2015 said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I disagree with this. It's the tech's job to abide by her wishes. She is providing a service. It's like ordering a meal at a restaurant without a certain sauce and then not recieving it. It's not what you ordered- not what you paid for. And this is way worse than that because she's playing with her patients emotions.

OP I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Congrats on the boy!

It's a tech's job to measure the baby and report to the doctor so they can confirm that your pregnancy is progressing normally and your baby is healthy. I know two US techs, and both feel that all the gender reveal nonsense pulls their focus from doing their job. Your restaurant comparison is apples to oranges. When you go to a restaurant the purpose is to get food, so getting what you order is integral to that purpose. The purpose of an ultrasound isn't to facilitate a gender reveal party.

JemHolo2015

Miz_Liz said:

andreaklyman said:

Actually, everyone, she has another post a little ways down the board saying the same thing, except it's a girl. Giving her attention is what she's asking for.

That is not her post...different poster, same situation.

Different poster, same situation, much more rational response.

Amandacarrera516

I agree it's a techs job to abide by the patients wishes, but she made a HUMAN mistake and said sorry. She must have been excited to see the gender and blurted it out. You have a reason to be upset, but depressed? That is why I commented the way I did

Amandacarrera516

All I'm saying is be thankful your baby is healthy, after all that is all that matters right?

AllyseGrant

Amandacarrera516 said:

I agree it's a techs job to abide by the patients wishes, but she made a HUMAN mistake and said sorry. She must have been excited to see the gender and blurted it out. You have a reason to be upset, but depressed? That is why I commented the way I did

I'm depressed because I wanted to be with my husband when it was announced to share that special moment together... But I'm sure the next thing you ladies will reply is "Your lucky to even have a husband mines dead or mines fighting overseas"
I'm dissapointed because of how much money has been spent on a party where I'm going to fake a surprise... But I'm sure I will hear "Wow you should be happy to have a party we cant even afford a cake"...
I can't win explaining my feelings so why try.

Starynightsky24

JemHolo2015 said:

Starynightsky24 said:

JemHolo2015 said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I disagree with this. It's the tech's job to abide by her wishes. She is providing a service. It's like ordering a meal at a restaurant without a certain sauce and then not recieving it. It's not what you ordered- not what you paid for. And this is way worse than that because she's playing with her patients emotions.

OP I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Congrats on the boy!

It's a tech's job to measure the baby and report to the doctor so they can confirm that your pregnancy is progressing normally and your baby is healthy. I know two US techs, and both feel that all the gender reveal nonsense pulls their focus from doing their job. Your restaurant comparison is apples to oranges. When you go to a restaurant the purpose is to get food, so getting what you order is integral to that purpose. The purpose of an ultrasound isn't to facilitate a gender reveal party.

Nope. Healthcare is a service... it's something you PAY FOR OUT OF REQUEST. It's easily compared to a million things. It doesn't matter if it's inconvenient. When it comes down to it, it's about what the patient wants... In everything. Her pregnancy, her body, her choice.

AllyseGrant

On the upside because of the mishap I got 6 extra pictures to keep.

AllyseGrant

Starynightsky24 said:

JemHolo2015 said:

Starynightsky24 said:

JemHolo2015 said:

I think you are majorly overreacting. Welcome to being a parent. You can make all the plans you want, but sometimes plans go awry. Is it ok and normal to feel some disappointment when that happens? Sure. But to feel "depressed" and "devastated" is ridiculous. The tech made a mistake, but catering to gender reveal party wishes isn't a tech's job.

Focus on what matters. You're having a healthy baby boy. And you still get to experience the gender reveal (which is a tradition that's been around for about a hot minute, btw) with your family and friends. "NOTHING" is going to bring back your excitement? Um, how about having a baby?! So you didn't find out the gender the way you planned. Put on your big girl panties and get over it, because how and when the gender is revealed to you does not matter even a little bit in the grand scheme of things.

I disagree with this. It's the tech's job to abide by her wishes. She is providing a service. It's like ordering a meal at a restaurant without a certain sauce and then not recieving it. It's not what you ordered- not what you paid for. And this is way worse than that because she's playing with her patients emotions.

OP I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Congrats on the boy!

It's a tech's job to measure the baby and report to the doctor so they can confirm that your pregnancy is progressing normally and your baby is healthy. I know two US techs, and both feel that all the gender reveal nonsense pulls their focus from doing their job. Your restaurant comparison is apples to oranges. When you go to a restaurant the purpose is to get food, so getting what you order is integral to that purpose. The purpose of an ultrasound isn't to facilitate a gender reveal party.

Nope. Healthcare is a service... it's something you PAY FOR OUT OF REQUEST. It's easily compared to a million things. It doesn't matter if it's inconvenient. When it comes down to it, it's about what the patient wants... In everything. Her pregnancy, her body, her choice.

True, I do pay a shit ton for our Blue Cross, It would of been nice because the ultrasound is about to cost me $262 (if its the same price as the first one I got)

Amandacarrera516

The tech made a mistake. She wasn't trying to ruin your party or make you depressed. And no, we won't make comments about, "at least you have a husband mine is dead" I simply said to be happy your son is healthy. You need to get over yourself

missmarissa711

reading this whole thing gave me an anxiety.

JemHolo2015

Just because someone provides a service doesn't mean it's their job to bow to your every whim. If I hire a babysitter, I don't expect her to clean my house just because it would make me happy and it's sort of tangential to her job. There are some sitters that go above and beyond, but that doesn't mean it should be expected.

This is even more true in the medical field, where services are just as targeted (If not more so) to what patients need as to what they want. An US tech is there to provide a specific service - scanning your baby to make sure it's developing properly. Plenty of techs play along with the gender reveal stuff because they are nice people, but please don't confuse that with the service you're actually paying them for, which is infinitely more important. Your $262 pays for the scan, not the gender reveal assist. If you want to procure gender services from a company that is targeted at your gender reveal experience, pay for an elective ultrasound.

People forget that an AS isn't to find out the gender. That's a fun extra bonus, but there is a medical purpose to the procedure, people!

CaliforniaDream87

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

missmarissa711

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

LOL shitting rainbows. Wouldn't that be nice! The old bump sounds like a bunch of women talking real to eachother, I wish I could have been a part of it!

CaliforniaDream87

Marissalynn0620 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

LOL shitting rainbows. Wouldn't that be nice! The old bump sounds like a bunch of women talking real to eachother, I wish I could have been a part of it!

It took some getting used too @Marissalynn0620 but as a FTM I learned so much from those women. Sometimes it hurt to hear truth but it toughened your skin. Were you had to support to get support. This new bump is scary.

JemHolo2015

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Marissalynn0620 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

LOL shitting rainbows. Wouldn't that be nice! The old bump sounds like a bunch of women talking real to eachother, I wish I could have been a part of it!

It took some getting used too @Marissalynn0620 but as a FTM I learned so much from those women. Sometimes it hurt to hear truth but it toughened your skin. Were you had to support to get support. This new bump is scary.

This. I don't know when "support" was redefined to mean validating people's crazy antics. Sometimes the best support is being told that you're acting like an idiot.

I always wonder how the shitting rainbows group parents. If their kids do something stupid do they tell them, or do they validate it? "Oh sweetie, it's ok to have thrown Sammy's birthday cake on the ground. I'm sure lots of people would have been disappointed that he got to have a spider-man party before them. You just keep tantruming until you feel better."

CaliforniaDream87

BreezyMeema said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

A13 for life The good ol' bump days

NOTHING COMPARES

missmarissa711

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Marissalynn0620 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

LOL shitting rainbows. Wouldn't that be nice! The old bump sounds like a bunch of women talking real to eachother, I wish I could have been a part of it!

It took some getting used too @Marissalynn0620 but as a FTM I learned so much from those women. Sometimes it hurt to hear truth but it toughened your skin. Were you had to support to get support. This new bump is scary.

YES definitely, I have got some pretty harsh responses myself but it all is for the better in the end, because sometimes the advice you don't want to hear turns out to be the best. And if some of the women are a little  "extra" I just try not to pay them much attention and keep it moving. So what happened with the "old bump" people? did most of the women leave the site?

diwersen

I'm still confused why the party is ruined? Aren't you the only one that knows still? I thought the point of the reveal was to surprise the people attending? Otherwise wouldn't the cake just be for you and your husband? All my friends, family, and myself know the gender of my baby and I absolutely can not wait to surprise my first graders with a cake after spring break. I obviously know the color of the cake but it won't take away from the excitement to see their reaction. I just don't think you have to assume the party is ruined. And, you still get the excitement of surprising your husband. Use this time to bond with something that only you know you have!

CaliforniaDream87

Marissalynn0620 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

Marissalynn0620 said:

CaliforniaDream87 said:

You said the tech cried? That means she felt bad. I really don't see the big deal as you can still have your party. The meaning of the AS has become so diluted. Scary.

I really miss the old bump. Where this "sparkly/shitting rainbows and butterflies" and "you're supposed to be supportive and not mean" crap didn't exist without a flaming episode.

LOL shitting rainbows. Wouldn't that be nice! The old bump sounds like a bunch of women talking real to eachother, I wish I could have been a part of it!

It took some getting used too @Marissalynn0620 but as a FTM I learned so much from those women. Sometimes it hurt to hear truth but it toughened your skin. Were you had to support to get support. This new bump is scary.

YES definitely, I have got some pretty harsh responses myself but it all is for the better in the end, because sometimes the advice you don't want to hear turns out to be the best. And if some of the women are a little  "extra" I just try not to pay them much attention and keep it moving. So what happened with the "old bump" people? did most of the women leave the site?

Long story short-TB began banning old members who had been on this site, supporting other women for years. That caused a major uproar and exodus (to another site). You can feel the difference.

I like you though. You take advice with thick skin. You seem like a smart girl. As a FTM, it's important to research and find what methods work best for you. Yes, advice is great but it's also about going in with your eyes wide opened. Parenting is hard. That's why I feel like it's important to be honest here. No sugar coating needed