Push presents

ElRuby

Would love to hear you all weigh in on "push presents"? Is this something common in your area? DH did buy me a beautiful bracelet after DS was born and jokingly referred to it as my push present.... But it really is a term that is widely used in some circles. Some women expect them, others are horrified at the thought..... Just curious to hear other's experiences and expectations

rklinge0

I won't be getting one by my edd is 6/2 and my bday is 6/10. So I am expecting an awesome bday present

KaLikeAWind

I personally think they are silly (for me), but I wouldn't make fun of or think less of someone for giving one, receiving one, asking for one or expecting one. DH and I aren't gift people (we don't even do holiday or bday gifts) so I know that my outlook is somewhat different on gifts altogether. If DH got me one I would be blown away and maybe even a little exasperated about it. It would be a cute gesture, and I would love him for it, but I would totally roll my eyes at him and be like "really?" He would expect that reaction, too.

kbbtah

We are not gift people either. For us, our son is the best push present ever. Can't wait!

jilly159

I've heard of push presents many times but am still unware of what it really is....... Is it just a gift for pushing out a baby? Or something for after labor to be comfy in? We're not really gift people either, but I'm curious..

lovethatcolosun

I think they are a little silly. The best present of all is your baby. That being said, I was very happy to receive a cute bouquet of flowers, which I saved the vase and a couple of dried roses from. I thought that was very thoughtful of him.

ElRuby

I really appreciated the bracelet and I love that it will always remind me of the day my son was born.... Also, after "pushing" out a 9lb 3oz. baby I was more than willing to accept it hahahha.... I do wonder if this term changes for c-section babies lol

AlyLynn07

Certainly would never expect a "push present," but don't think I would turn one down either!

aliciaspinnet

I feel uneasy with the concept because I don't like the idea of expecting or demanding a gift. The way I see it is that any gift should be freely given of the givers own accord. So I would be delighted if DH got me a present to commemorate our sons birth, but I would never feel comfortable for it to be a requirement. It would change it from a sweet spontaneous gesture to something rather hollow for me.

And I'm not sure why exactly but I hate the name.

TheNewMrsY

It's not really our thing but the idea doesn't bother me or anything. DH had a birthstone ring made for me in early September. It has 3 stones - DDs birthstone on the left, a center diamond, and a diamond on the right..sort of a "space holder" for a future child. Well I got pregnant in late-September so after baby is born will replace that diamond with DD2's birthstone. So not really a push present, just something we will do

mamahawk12

I'm not a fan. You need more of a "prize" than your BABY? Mega eye roll. 

babybean9

I think they're lame.

lshylko

I hadn't heard of it until my first baby was born and my husband surprised me with a ring on Mother's Day which was shortly after her birth . He did the same for our second and I suppose I will probably get one with this baby. I wear them on my ring finger on my right hand and think of them as family rings that will be passed down to my kids. My mom had a birthstone ring with all of our stones so I guess this is a similar idea. I don't think it is that common. I'm not a jewelry person so these and my wedding ring are the only real jewelry that I own so they are definitely special to me

ElRuby

lshylko said:

I hadn't heard of it until my first baby was born and my husband surprised me with a ring on Mother's Day which was shortly after her birth . He did the same for our second and I suppose I will probably get one with this baby. I wear them on my ring finger on my right hand and think of them as family rings that will be passed down to my kids. My mom had a birthstone ring with all of our stones so I guess this is a similar idea. I don't think it is that common. I'm not a jewelry person so these and my wedding ring are the only real jewelry that I own so they are definitely special to me

This sounds very sweet

HoosOnFirst

rklinge0 said:

I won't be getting one by my edd is 6/2 and my bday is 6/10. So I am expecting an awesome bday present

My EDD is June 8 and my bday is June 11. I've already told everyone I expect my birthday to not be forgotten!

ElRuby

Yeah maybe the name kind of ruins the gesture... I wonder where the name originated from? It is definitely not uncommon for a husband to buy a present for his wife after baby is born but the name adds a little bit of a negative spin on it.... I didn't look too far into it, I was just very touched by the gesture. It was my husbands way of telling me how amazed he was by the birth of our son and a way to thank me for "doing the work" haha

KonaCoffeeBean

Many of my friends have received a present from their husbands following the birth of a baby; I have never heard this referred to as a "push present," in real life. I think that's from Oprah. It's typically a pair of earrings or right hand ring. My husband has been putting aside some money and has indicated that he intends to give me a gift following the birth of our child.

Emilywooddesign

I better get a push present!!!

cnkjbk117

My hubby and I have needed new living room furniture for a while now and he kept telling me that we just didn't have the money with baby on the way (edd 6/23). But 2 weeks ago he had the set we had our eyes on delivered to the house. He let me know that it is my "push present" I didn't even know he knew about them. So obviously it was a huge surprise!

mrsmoxie

With our first, I really didn't think my husband was going to get me anything, and that was more than okay. But I think when I was in labor, for the obnoxious amount of time I was in labor and pushing, he felt bad that he couldn't really help me. He went and got me a huge bouquet shortly after the baby was born.

MrsWiggleWaggle

I love giving and receiving gifts. It's part of my "love language" so to speak. My husband...not so much. So I have to be the type to say something like, "it would really mean a lot if you got me something as a token" etc. in the case of the push present I absolutely asked for one, I didn't ask for a specific thing, and I don't consider it selfish. I communicated that a gift in recognition of the unique trial I have just been through would be deeply appreciated. If you are the type of person who loves to change gifts and you partner isn't it's really easy to get resentful when they don't think of doing that for you so I choose to be very open and communicative about it. Sure a surprise would be nice, but I learned a long time ago that there would never ever be a surprise. DH is just toO cheap and his favorite way of receiving/giving love is different (mostly touch/ some affirmations).

devyns2nd

Well we're on baby #7 and I've never heard of this soooo yeah I will be casually mentioning the topic only to DH. I don't want gifts from other people. Just like a "thanks for growing us a baby and pushing him out of your girl parts" gift. I'd do it for him....I might get him a "thanks for dealing with my bullshit" gift.

ChrisLipstick

I am thinking about rewarding myself after LO is here with some botox or face laser resurfacing. I want to do something to make myself feel beautiful and since the money will come from our joint funds, it is a kind of push present. I would also love to get permanent makeup done (great for busy moms with no time to apply every day) but that would probably be too much. I say get a present for yourself ladies!

Westypet

We've been talking about upgrading my wedding band or adding another ring to the set to commemorate an anniversary or for a big birthday... I'm hoping to do it this summer in honor of LO as a "push gift", but maybe we'll save it for another occasion.

karaelaine1991

I would love to have a pearl ring since that's most likely going to be DD's birth stone (I say most likely because EDD is June 2 so she could easily come in May), but I feel SUPER awkward about hinting/asking DH to get me one, especially since we're trying to save for a house so we've made an agreement to keep presents for each other to a minimum until we've reached our goal for the down payment. Our first wedding anniversary is on June 20, though, so maybe if he asks me what I'd like for that, I'll bring up the ring idea... but, overall, I agree with most of you about the whole push present concept: while I'd certainly appreciate any gift that DH would want to give me, I think it's kind of tacky to ask him for one or make it sound like he's obligated to get me one. 

Sammadden27

My husband asked me about this. I told him to get me something that has our LOs birthstone on it or with a first time mom charm on it. I also told him not to spend too much money! We just sold our house and are trying to buy another one. I'd much rather a house than anything else!

CurlyMom78

Our little girl is our push present since we had to do IVF and insurance paid for zero of it! Not saying that I would not accept a present from him though but I'm not expecting one since again since we already have ours! I don't think it's a big deal in the PNW either we tend to be a little more laid back.

esampson1983

Honestly I don't really need anything nor do I want anything extra to take home from the hospital. Also DH is letting me hire a Doula and has been soooo supportive this whole pregnancy (and I know he will be during labor too), so I can't and shouldn't expect any more from him. He has been my awesome amazing rock and that is present enough.

Sorry to be sappy. He is just pretty awesome

laurendutch

My husband didn't get me anything my first pregnancy, so I'm not expecting anything this go around. It's not that common with our circle of friends/family. I would love a Vintage Pearl necklace with all my kids names engraved.

finchfeeder80

I had never heard of this concept until I got on the bump back in October. I find the concept a bit silly and entitled.

mylifeandmyairman

I think most dads to be see a present after the baby is born as a thank you for all of the work that you did for our child. My husband is getting a necklace with our sons name on it made. I don't think that is weird it selfish. Lots of moms have small pieces of jewelry with their kids birthstones, Initials on it. I see it as a way to commemorate everything that has happened in the last 9 months and a celebration of what is to come.

Katerina&Baby

When it's his idea, I think it's an adorable token to commemorate the birth of a child (my dad gave my mom a pair of sapphire earrings when my brother was born - she always refers to them as her "John earrings"). When women demand them, I think it's kind of weird and takes the sweetness out of the gesture.

Zeuskay01

I think it'd be a bit greedy of me to "expect" a present after I give birth. I just don't get it, for what? My husband has already helped me a ton this entire pregnancy, and for me to expect a gift because I pushed the baby out seems quite silly. But then again I also just heard of this concept a few months ago, I was mind blown.

lkr004

I honestly hate the idea of a "push present." In fact I hate the name, too. 

On that note, I did request a meal from PeiWei that was located near the hospital after I was given the go-ahead to eat. It had been about 24hrs since I had even seen food. DH didn't mind at all because it is his favorite too.

littlebug2015

My husband isn't calling this a "push present" but he is getting me the peg-perego book pop up stroller system and car seat...not really a gift for me as much as it is for baby I just mentioned that it was too expensive to put on a registry so he told me he still wanted me to have it and he would buy it! Love him

ElRuby

There is one push present I am demanding and expecting: a very large Italian sub and a diet coke! Anything extra will just be a bonus

PoppyCho

I'm not expecting a thing from SO, he's not a gifty type but I've been justifying a LOT of my recent purchases as push gifts (bracelet) and diaper bags (purses, I bought 2 last week

CateOfChicago

It's pretty popular by me. DH got me a ring with DDs birthstone in it. He says my real present was my new car I got shortly after dd was born. I had a convertible so I had to get something new but he let me get a better brand. For this one, I assume I'm getting diamond earrings since he asked me if I hypothetically would want round or square. He can't keep a secret to save his life.

bbnmama2012

I really wanted a nice camera to video the birth and take high-quality pics of DS when he arrives. We went ahead a bought it and we called it a "push present" because we wouldn't have bought it if we weren't pregnant.

klkonwi

Ummm yes I want one....... An amazing bottle of wine! That's not too much to ask right ?!?! Priorities.

ngaines27

mellymar said:

I personally think they are silly (for me), but I wouldn't make fun of or think less of someone for giving one, receiving one, asking for one or expecting one. DH and I aren't gift people (we don't even do holiday or bday gifts) so I know that my outlook is somewhat different on gifts altogether. If DH got me one I would be blown away and maybe even a little exasperated about it. It would be a cute gesture, and I would love him for it, but I would totally roll my eyes at him and be like "really?" He would expect that reaction, too.

This, exactly. My son is my "push present."