DD got in trouble and asked for Grandma

getnmarried910

I'm livid.  I knew this was going to happen.  We never spent much time with MIL because she underminds us as parents and lets DD get away with EVERYTHING. We are trying to make things better with her, so we've been trying to spend more time with her.  But anytime we try to discipline DD, MIL interferes and starts babying her.  She did it again last night, and it makes me so mad.  Because she does that, I told DH when DD gets into trouble she's going to start asking for grandma because grandma babies her and makes us look like the bad guys.  DH mentioned this a while ago to her when she asked why we never come around, but she hasn't seemed to listen.  It's frustrating because DD acts like a total brat anytime she comes home from grandma's.  I didn't think she'd pick up on this stuff at 2 but she is!  I don't know what to do.

rach&jay

This happens with my mom too, I just let it go though.  I think its what grandparents do... besdies, I can still remember running to call my grandmother (Nonni) anytime I got in trouble with my parents... even when I was 17.

getnmarried910

Really?  I don't remember ever doing that but my family wasn't like that either.  We didn't get away with anything with my grandma.  If we asked her for something, she'd say "How about we call your mom and see how she feels about it."  Maybe that isn't the norm, and I just thought it was.  I know that's how my mom is too.  She'll spoil a little, but when we visited there, when DD got in trouble, she walked out of the room to give us space to discipline.  And when Kylee wanted something my mom wasn't sure she was allowed to have, she asked us.

shopgirl78

Hailey cries for the parent she is not in trouble with, so if I am disciplining her she calls for Daddy and if she got in trouble with daddy, she screams for me...sounds like your MIL interfering with disciplining however I think its normal for them to cry to the person they are not in trouble with.  

 

I know my parents are softies when it come to DD

rach&jay

My Nonni spoiled her 12 grandchildren like crazy, I know we all ran to her when we got into trouble.  I just figure my mom can do the same.

getnmarried910

Well, then, that seems to be the norm.  Maybe we'll just have to deal with it, but hope that MIL still stands behind us on the bigger issues when she's older.

Now I just have to figure out how to deal with DD acting like a spoiled brat when she comes home from being at grandma's.

rach&jay

There have been times when I've given my mom the back off look, but there are more times than not that I have just let it go.  Hopefully your MIL will know the boundaries and what things she can get away with.

getnmarried910

I hope she does learn boundaries, but that's been a big part of the issues we've had with her since we were engaged.  It wasn't until I had that ring and suddenly there were no boundaries.  It was awful and we seem to be on an up-swing, but we've been here before.  The problem was MIL has never had boundaries with anyone.  Everyone in their family lets her do whatever she wants and she pretty much controls the entire family.  I came along and said I don't think so, and totally stirred the pot.  I refused to do everything the way she wanted it done (and DH was with me) and when I didn't do it, she went behind my back to DH who told her we had already talked about it and made our decision and it was sticking.  She hated that.  We are really trying to let her into our lives more, but she does have major boundary and control issues.

snickerdoodle27

Jacob's grandparents spoil him but they know where to draw the line and what he shouldn't get away with. they've alwasy been respectful of what we tell them. Which I appreicate, because I hate being undermined!