Feeling guilty and feeling bad

pregat40

I know even before I post this I need not be this hard on myself but will post it anyway..
Im not on social media anymore and a friend from high school sent me a pic of her 100 lbs weight loss with a lot of muscle tone and while I'm happy for her, i feel like crap about myself.
I'm 10 weeks in about 15 minutes and while I am not sick or nauseous anymore, food is gross. I love vegetables and healthy food generally but it's so nasty. Major food aversions have been my nemesis.
I'm not my best self these last 5 years and have gained weight I have been struggling to lose 25-30 lbs. Now I'm pregnant and can only gain 20 lbs in total. I'm fine with that too, i dont want to "eat for two" but have been living off carbs trying to get through this first trimester.
When i got pregnant i was eating little carbs for about 7 weeks and was just starting to experience some weight loss. I know i cant lose weight and am willing to eat whole foods from all food groups as soon as I can desire them....i just dont want as much processed carbs like bread as i have been having but if not i have nothing to eat besides fruit and eggs, the only other thing I can tolerate.
Besides that, I want to take long daily walks with my dog but cant with 6-7 feet of snow outside. I have a gym membership but havent been going....want to get there but haven't made it there yet.
I start my new job next week and since i will start at noon, my plan is to go to gym to spend at least an hour there moving my body before work..i know i shouldn't beat myself up and not put so much pressure on myself but my friend sharing her success and my hormones are not making this easy for me....

mrscate88

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I know it's depressing these first months when we can't eat the right foods and start gaining weight we don't want to gain, ugh. I'm sure the snowy weather doesn't help, because getting out in the fresh air is usually a cure to everything. Just try to think of the positive and don't beat yourself up too much. You'll gain a little weight, grow this baby, then bounce right back after baby is born! The snow will melt and you'll be able to go outside and walk again. Hang in there and try some yoga or Pilates at home if you want to keep up an exercise routine. I hear trimester two gets easier!

petalstar

Hell is other people. You're amazing and you'll do the best you can. I find it good to focus on what I am doing instead of comparing myself to other people (especially non pregnant ones) and just focus on my baby. You are growing a human and it's hard going sometimes so don't compare yourself. Also, thinner doesn't mean better. Just do what you can.

WDDCH

I'm the heaviest I've ever weighed and will need to lose over 80 lbs after this birth. PCOS doesn't make it easy to lose so I've slowly gained and kept weight on each pregnancy. I wasn't trying to get pregnant this time but it happened and I'm just trying to focus on making good choices now. Nothing we can do about it except to buy good foods and do stretches and exercises to stay strong.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. Babies are such a blessing and the weight will come off... later. Don't compare yourself to a non-pregnant weight-lifting woman. Try not to compare yourself to anyone. Be the best you that you can be.

pregat40

Thanks Ladies, I felt better just writing it down. Thanks for the encouragement.

medice

Well I may have a solution for you but of course it has to wait til yu have your little one but yu can but a waist clincher online (the latex one is more comfy) and wear it everyday for 12 hours or all day (I did it works I didn't Evan work out with it r eat right yu should really see result with in a month and dramatic results within 3 to 6 six months

# try it out I got mines on aliexpress for 30 bucks I'm definitely putting to use after this baby lol

pregat40

I know someone who wore it and she ended up losing a ton in her waist. I was considering it and will see how that goes post c section

Knottie00400192

I find it so sad that us women put so much pressure on ourselves to be fit and lose weight. And yes it's definitely important to be healthy, but we end up torturing ourselves in the process. I completely understand you and I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, but trust me when I say, if WE want it bad enough we will lose our baby weight when we push these beautiful healthy babies out! Be proud of your friend and know that you're body is being used as a vessel right now. I think that is women are all beautiful, no matter what size we choose to be!

tigerfish227

I'm sorry you are having trouble. I was actually feeling down myself within the last few weeks too. Last summer I was training to run a half marathon and was doing really great until about a month before the race. I injured my hip and had to stop running. I was down almost 15 lbs, starting to feel really good about myself again for the first time in years then bam!!! All ripped away because my stupid hip! They ruled out a stress fracture and it turns out that the problem is just that the gap between my femur and hip bones is too narrow. Combined with being pidgeon toed and running like I was it just was to much too fast. After months of physical therapy and a cortisone shot I was finally starting to feel better and then I get pregnant and have to put my running on hold for another 9 months. I'm doing my best not to gain more than necessary with this baby because I really do want to run again. My goal is at least one half marathon in my life. My 64 yo uncle runs full marathons I should at least be able to do a half. (This isn't me necessarily comparing myself to him more the realization that my excuse had always been asthma and allergies that prevented me from doing it and he has the same allergies and battles asthma but at 64 he still runs almost every day and doesn't let it stop him. What excuse do I really have at 29?) Right now for me just to go out for a short walk is difficult with the cold weather and the snow and being out of my routine so the are days when I just feel like crying. I just have to tell myself it will get better, warmer and I will not give up!

medice

pregat40 said:

I know someone who wore it and she ended up losing a ton in her waist. I was considering it and will see how that goes post c section

Yep it's amazing how those things work I try to tell everyone about them cuz most people dnt kno

pregat40

Welp, I mustered up some motivation and am at the gym! I walked 2.72 Miles and did some light upper body weight work....taking it 1 day at a time....

irenejean

I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but congrats on getting to the gym today!! I was a gym rat up until about two weeks ago, when the exhaustion got the best of me. I've felt like a lazy blob since then, but too tired to do something about it, pregnancy is hard! Here's to hoping that second trimester is easier for us all!

marceedee

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so discouraged.  Think of this, while you are envious of your friend for her physique and weight loss, someone you know is probably wishing they could be carrying a child, like you.  Focus on what you can do to be healthy and try not to beat yourself up over the things  you can't or haven't.  This pregnancy was a (wonderful!) surprise for me and I was quite a bit overweight when I found out.  I started to feel bad that I hadn't taken care of my weight before becoming pregnant, but realized I had to accept the way thins are and adjust my focus to being healthy in ways that benefit the baby now.

pregat40

marceedee said:

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so discouraged.  Think of this, while you are envious of your friend for her physique and weight loss, someone you know is probably wishing they could be carrying a child, like you.  Focus on what you can do to be healthy and try not to beat yourself up over the things  you can't or haven't.  This pregnancy was a (wonderful!) surprise for me and I was quite a bit overweight when I found out.  I started to feel bad that I hadn't taken care of my weight before becoming pregnant, but realized I had to accept the way thins are and adjust my focus to being healthy in ways that benefit the baby now.

exactly. You hit the nail on the head. I wish I would have gotten the excess weight off before I got pregnant but oh well....my midwife said just keep it moving and I should maintain my weight and gain slowly...i hope so.

veronica121679

I don't put any pressure on myself to lose or gain weight during or after pregnancy. You cannot compare yourself to anyone, let alone someone who isn't where you are in life. You are pregnant. Who cares what lifestyle someone else has? Focus on you and your baby! With my daughter the first 4 months I was so sick I couldn't barely keep anything down I actually lost almost 20 lbs. It wasn't good. Then the rest of the pregnancy I was finally able to eat and gained it back. The emergency c-section took a lot out of me and it was a horrible healing process expecially because my ex husband was no help so I was alone in the taking care of her with trying to deal with healing from major surgery. It took about 2 years to get the 40 lbs I gained off., and I was on my feet working 14 hour days. I never got into working out and it's just not me, but I did start eating better and I've always been very active with my daughter. I didn't put unnecessary pressure on myself to lose it. I let my body heal and it gradually all came off. Luckily my fiance is incredible and i know I'll be able to heal right this time because he's going to be an awesome help and assured me I'll actually get the rest I need to get through it properly. Don't let weight get you down. Focus on your health and the baby's......right now that's most important.

mrscate88

@veronica121679 I agree. My husband's aunt is pregnant and she's tall, thin, and beautiful! We just found out his cousin is also pregnant and due the same day as me, she is a gorgeous latina girl with the perfect skin, hair, and body. Me? I'm average height, average weight, just all around average haha! Imagine how miserable I would be if I compared myself to those girls? We are all doing a beautiful thing growing human life inside of us, and we'll get chubby, and probably get cankles, and feel like beached whales this summer! But we'll survive and we'll get our bodies back on track after it's done. There is no happiness in comparing ourselves to anyone else.

pregat40

Thanks

twinamato

Don't be hard on yourself... Everyone has given you such good advice here already!! I hardly know what to add except don't be hard on yourself!! You are on the right track with the gym membership.. Do you have someone who can be your gym buddy? Having a gym buddy is motivation to actually get to the gym in the first place. I found that helps BIG TIME!!