Terrible 2 help, long.

Sunkiss028

So my toddler is officially in terrible twos and has been for a couple of months. I just need some advice. There are days when he is just fine but lately in the morning as we are getting ready he refuses to get dressed, brush teeth, get coat on, etc. I know this is fairly normal, but he kicks, screams and throws a big fit almost no cue. The mornings he doesn't then he acts out when we get to daycare-throwing a fit, screaming, waking up her kids, etc. I just don't know how to handle it. He knows how to push my buttons, but seems to listen much better to our daycare lady and my husband. Its like he knows I am pregnant (and emotional) and tries to take advantage of me. Its not only embarrasing when it happens (and happens out at stores/restaurants too) but its frustrating. I Feel like I can't control him during these times and I almost always break down (hello emotions!). I just have a feeling if we can't control him at daycare and her days start like this everyday she will give us the boot.She has gotten to the point where she just tells me to leave (she can tell it upsets me) and she takes care of him, he gets calmed down in 5 min after I leave). He has never been like this just hte past few months. He is very stubborn and reacts in such ways when he doesn't get his way. Any suggestions, advise or experience?

Will also post on toddler board too. Thanks for any suggestions.

*sparky*

I think he is testing you.  He knows he gets to you, so he continues to do it.  My DS does this with me too - he pushes my limits and sometimes laughs about it - not because he is evil, but because he is testing Mommy's love.  He also knows I love him unconditionally so no matter what I am still going to take care of him.

I had a huge issue with bedtime battles with DS.  He would dawdle forever, refuse to get changed, etc.  I would get his PJ pants on and he would run into the other room and strip down naked again, and then run around saying "you can't get me".  Then he would say he didn't want to brush his teeth, etc.

So I started a little earlier, so we had more leeway with time, and I also gave him a ten-minute warning before we were going to go upstairs to get changed.  Then I would say "if you're very good, Mommy will read you an extra story - if you do not cooperate, then we will take a story away".  We always started at two stories - if he was good, he got three, if he was bad he would get one or none.  Once he realized I was serious, he cooperated much more. 

So that's my long way of saying, find a way to enitce him to be good.  Get him up a little earlier if you need to, so you don't end up in a panic about getting out the door, but also tell him when you get him up, "if you're very good and get ready quickly, Mommy will have time to play xyz with you before we go."

Then you need to find some way to make the drop off better - either leave him with something special from you like a little picture, blow him kisses, or something.  When DS was flipping out about me leaving for work one day, I had his nanny bring him out to the driveway so I could blow my horn good bye for him.  Now anytime anyone his leaving he says "I want toots", and he'll stand in the driveway, waving goodbye while they toot their horn.  So sometimes you just have to get a little creative.

Not that he won't still test you, but hopefully some of these tricks might make things a bit easier.

hikerbeth

Parenting with Love and Logic really helped my "terrible two."

There is a book called "Love and Logic Magic for the Early Years" or something like that.  It's a very short, easy read and implementing the techniques turned my DD around from daily 2 hour tantrums to nothing.  It is a parenting style, not a discipline technique, so it's something you can implement immediately, every day.

Good luck!

soxfan

First -- you are pregnant so give yourself a break. 

Also -- he's 2 -- he's developing fine which means he will test.  Brace yourself and DON'T Lose your cool.  They win when you get upset -- you can't let them see your frustration.

You are in control of the toddler.  I swear -- one time this past Nov my son wouldn't put on his coat.  I made him wear his coat and brought a SCREAMING toddler into day care (and was carrying a 5 month old at the same time.)  I face the same thing in the mornings -- I tell he has a choice - he can do it the easy way cooperating or the hard way where he will cry but the result will be the same.  He's starting to understand it.

Also -- if your day care lady has ever been around ANY two year old she will know this is normal behavior.  She's telling you to leave to save your sanity.  She knows he will calm down.  The more structure you provide at home the better off your two year old will know what is ok and not ok. 

 It get easier - I promise.

Sunkiss028

Thank you all very much. I will take these bits of info all to heart and try to do what I can. Its nice to have insight from others in situations like this. Thank you!!!