Nervous about labor!

NicoleBurroughs12

i started thinking about whether I wanted to have the epidural or not so I started watching videos and all that led to birthing videos. I realized I am so terrified of giving birth! Any other moms feeling that way? I hate not knowing what to expect and everyone's experience is so different.

tealbee

Please search the board this has already been discussed very VERY recently. But if your terrified take some informational classes.

NicoleBurroughs12

I am taking classes later in pregnancy but thanks for the information I'll have to check out that very recent post. Have a nice day.

KonaCoffeeBean

Beauty of being a hard core procrastinator. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

kbbtah

@tealbee‌ Im not seeing the post you're referring to. I see "Tips on an epidural free labor" but @NicoleBurroughs12‌ question is different.

I used to have extreme fears about childbirth, but since getting pregnant that fear has turned to excitement to meet the little one. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my LO (and im sure you feel the same!) and I know I'll do just fine in labor. I'm focusing on all that is to come while educating myself and avoiding negative people, comments, and internet posts about childbirth. Hoping you find confidence and peace in the months to come!

klkonwi

I think we are all at least a little scared for labor! Each labor is just so different. I just tell myself it will be what it is........ Ha..... Self talk!

Frogger5

I've actually worked around to being more interested in seeing how I end up coping. I know it'll be rough, but I'm honestly viewing it like an anthropological event at this point. Almost seems like it'll be happening to someone else! Maybe when I take the birthing class and the time gets closer it'll sink in.

BabyList

With my first pregnancy I was terrified! I worried about it constantly. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy at all because I was so scared of labor. After it was all done, it was my biggest regret. This pregnancy I have been much more laid back about it, and I haven't obsessed about it like I did the first time. It's totally normal to be scared, but in thd end it is only one small part of your life, and then end result is so wonderful no matter how your labor goes. If it was so terrible, women wouldn't keep doing it! Good luck!

HomeLiveLove

I'm scared of labor mostly because I hate hospitals and the unknown. Because of my anxiety being so strong surrounding this and in general, I'm choosing to have a c-section. I know its controversial, but I think it will work out much better for me.

AmyCee

This is one time - in a non-snarky way - I'm going to say "It's a little late"

No one ever said it'll be fun, relaxing, etc...people call it beautiful - mine wasn't though...my son was the most amazing precious gift - but labor/delivery, ultimately my emergency c-section wasn't ...that said / everyone that took care of me knew exactly what to do and walked me through (with patience!!!)

It's not going to be fun - but, there's a reason we forget - so we keep having more...

I would stop concentrating on the scary aspect and just think about how amazing it will feel to hold something you made in your arms that you love without having to get to know -- I promise it's all worth it!!! And as I mentioned it's too late to turn back now - so just embrace it all

You won't regret it - and you'll likely go back for another round

ngaines27

In my experience, labor and delivery are the easy part. My pregnancies (this is my 3rd) have all been somewhat difficult due to sickness and depression but my labors and deliveries have been a breeze (I highly recommend an epidural ).

MamaBish

Hi, I too am terrified and asked a similar question last month about fear of childbirth resources and I got lots of great suggestions

Here is the link if you want to check it out, some great books and videos on there!

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12526096/fear-of-childbirth-resources-so-many-options#latest

karaelaine1991

Fear of labor isn't really taking over for me... mainly because I'm just trying not to think about it haha. Worrying won't help anything - in fact, it'll probably make things worse!

My big thing right now is that I want to make sure that I make the best choices for me and baby - which is a lot easier said than done! My thing this week is epidural or no epidural. Reading the thread recently was helpful, but it also left me with a lot of questions. I'm planning to call my OB at some point this week to see if they can point me in the direction of non-biased, medically sound info that can tell me the pros and cons in layman's terms. A lot of the resources on the thread got me thinking, but they also definitely were all pushing an agenda and so I'm reluctant to fully trust ANY of them.

jbatch

Labor wasn't fun.. but honestly for me recovery was worse.. I had third degree tearing because of baby having heart decels and them using forceps to get her out. My labor was not ideal but I had a baby in the end. In my opinion do what works for you at the time. I did not really make plans because I just wanted what was best and until the situation arose I wouldn't know what was best. So, when the dr told me her heart rate was lowering I said do what needs done.

Of course I am also not much of a worrier.. I just kinda go with the flow and see what happens.

ChrisLipstick

I was so worried about labor with my first. I was terrified of ending up with a c section. This time around I am much more relaxed as I know what to expect and I know DH will advocate for me and my preference. I am more worried about what comes after (sleepless nights).

KaLikeAWind

I always say "make an informed decision". Now, while this isn't a 'decision' to be made, its something that's gonna happen, no matter what, I approach it by educating myself by attending the classes my hospital offers (and trying to avoid over-educating myself by searching Dr Google and thereby making me a crazy person with all the results therein) and otherwise going with the flow. Women have been having babies since forever, our bodies know what to do, even if we don't. Scared of pain? Hells yeah! But we have pain control medications and techniques to help us there. I'm a FTM and I'm nervous about it, but at the same time realize there isn't anything I can really DO about it except not freak myself out.

I'm also more worried about what comes after. Holy sh... :-SS

laurendutch

STM. I had a scheduled c-section with my twins and not to scare anyone but it was a terrible experience. Things that most people fear were the easiest things for me like the epidural (the IV was way worse IMO). I didn't like getting sick and puking on the delivery table (and all night). But I know this sounds so cliche but you really do forget about it or you just don't care bc the end result is so worth it.

This time around I'm having anxiety over the location of my placenta and my antigen problem. If I was to have the same surgery as last time (puking and all) I'll be so relieved!

Penwater1

I was terrified my first time. While you will never feel 100% ready the best thing was the birth class at my hospital of delivery. This made everything was less forgein. You meet nurses, saw the rooms, leaned what happens and what could. This was helpful because I ended up with an emergency c section. It was scary but I knew what would happen, knew what to expect because they talked about it. In the class you watch births with and without epidurals. The more you know about your birthing place the better. The more you just search the Web the more scared you can become. Talk to your OB about birth classes at your hospital. So worth it 110%.

sspyles

tealbee said:

Please search the board this has already been discussed very VERY recently. But if your terrified take some informational classes.

One of the reasons this board is so dead is because every time someone posts a question, someone leaves a snarky reply about searching for a post rather than starting a new one. Good grief.

OP, birth is generally scary because it's uncontrollable. If you can find lots of study information to feel informed, it takes away some of the "unknown" fear factor. Get back some control by understanding your options, making a plan, and working with your partner and care giver so everyone is on board.

ElRuby

Although the search function can be helpful, I am happy to see some new posts... Recycling old ones is tiresome...

Frogger5

And this topic really hadn't been discussed recently, tealbee got a little excited I think.

NicoleBurroughs12

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to have somewhere I can come and discuss things going on because my husband will never understand and I have no friends I can really talk to. It means a lot! Everyone have a great day!

toodaloo

I say(as a mom of 3 going on 4), stop watching the videos. It will only make things worse. There is an element of fear especially when this is your first time. When the time comes, there will some fear, excitement, happiness, anxiousness, sadness, etc. Pretty much everything in the book. Your body will do what it is supposed too or you will get help from your doc. Either way you will be in good hands and you should just enjoy the experience. It goes by pretty quick and before you know it, you'll be ready to do it all over again:-). Wishing you the best;-)

sharice111

@HomeLiveLove‌ if you are afraid of hospitals and unknown I would think a csection would freak you out more... I've had both a vaginal delivery and a csection and not gonna lie the csection was a whole lot scarier... If you really hate hospitals my vaginal delivery I was able to leave after 24 hours. With the csection you are in the hospital for a minimum of 3 days... It's major surgery.... I'm sorry I just don't understand your reasoning for a csection. Yes, to each their own, but for the reasons you listed it just doesn't seem logical. If the unknown of the date of your delivery then schedule an induction instead of a csection maybe??? Again, to each their own...

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virginiaunicorn11

Yes! Was just about to post about Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. Reading it made me so much less afraid. Your body was made for this!

lilitaliangirl

I was so nervous with my first. However, I may be of the minority here, but everything about it was amazing. I did have an epidural, so I'm sure that helped AND I was literally the only patient in L&D so all attention was on me. I feared a long painful labor but it lasted only 6 amazing hours. Once he and the placenta were out there was a huge weight lifted (literally felt like it too). Afterwards we said no visitors in the room for an hour and it was wonderful. Your body and baby will know what to do!

janat1717

Hire a doula!! Being super confident in my birth team has helped and they can talk through your worries and help you write a birth plan.