Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
missblake33
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Day of 5 of Natural Miscarriage - 14 weeks
missblake33
member
Last Friday, April 30th, I passed a blood clot the size of a quarter. I called my OB and she had me in for an ultrasound that morning at 11:30. At the ultrasound we found out that the baby didn't have a heartbeat. At our 12 week appointment we had been able to see the heartbeat so this was devastating to us. Because of the size of the baby they figured the baby passed away right after my 12 week ultrasound. April 30th happened to be on a Friday, and my OB told me that having a natural miscarriage at 12 weeks would be painful and there would be a lot of blood, so I scheduled a D&C for Monday, Feb. 2.
On Sunday, Feb. 1, I woke up at 6:30 am and felt immediately like I had just passed something into my underpants. I went to the bathroom and a lot of blood and clots started to pass. I had not had any pain or any cramping at all. A few moments later I passed the fetus. It was a perfect little baby, 10 fingers and 10 toes. I sobbed and sobbed and held the baby in my hands in piece of toilet paper. My husband heard me crying and came into the bathroom. He took the baby and put him/her into a plastic bag. I still felt no pain, other than heart ache, and kept passing a lot of clots and blood. I continued to bleed heavily for about 24 hours. The next morning I woke up to very strong cramps and passed many more blood clots in various sizes. The cramps kept coming on and off for the next couple of days. I have had two children previous to this miscarriage so I know what full blow labor feels like. This did not feel like full blown labor. This felt like very strong cramps. It never felt like labor.
Today is day five of the natural miscarriage and the bleeding has almost completely stopped. The color of the blood is turning brown. Although tired both physically and emotionally, I feel good. I am so glad that I had the miscarriage naturally. Yes, it was difficult to pass the baby and see him/her. But, there was also some peace to it. I felt good knowing that our baby was with us. My husband built him/her a little coffin and we will bury him/her in the backyard with a tree that blooms in the spring. That gives me some peace and some closure. I have some dark moments when I wonder what I did wrong. I have two beautiful children already, but what did I do wrong with this baby? I am older, I am 38. I realize there is probably nothing I did wrong, but the mind can play awful tricks on you. I have moments where I'm just sad and cry. I think this is allowed, and will just take some time to pass. I may never get over the loss of a child, but I will get stronger.
I felt it was important to share my story for those of you out there who are about to have a miscarriage yourselves. When I found out that my baby had passed away and I was going to have a D&C, I googled like a crazy person looking for others who were in a similar situation. Then after I miscarried and didn't experience pain, I googled again looking for painless miscarriages and didn't find anyone saying that the miscarriage at 14 weeks (or 12 week fetus size) wasn't painful while going through it. Peace and strength to anyone that finds this thread during or before a miscarriage. Please know you are not alone.
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