Rude comments from people.... — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

Rude comments from people....

edited February 2015 in June 2015 Moms

What are the rude things you have heard (so far). I had two guys pretty much just insult my weight. When I said I've only gained 1lb so far they both said "No way!". Now, I'm aware that I definitely have a bump, but a) I was about 20lb+ overweight before getting pregnant and b) I lost a few pounds my first trimester because of nausea. So, basically baby has just been feeding off my fat until recently, lol. So, yes, I may look like I've gained more, but, good Lord, some people are so freaking rude. Maybe I'm being sensitive because I have always been very self conscious no matter what weight I'm at.


goldopAL876

Re: Rude comments from people....

  • My mother told me I was gaining too much, and that took a few days to shake off.

    Other comments are from my sister.... haven't had any strangers or friends say rude things. Funny.....

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    liljohnsonbaby
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  • Did those guys really insult your weight? Maybe they noticed that your bump is getting bigger and can't imagine that it is only a 1lb weight gain. 

    As far as my own personal stories:
    About two co-workers didn't believe me when I told them I was 17 weeks pregnant a few weeks ago, one even said, "You just look like you had an extra helping during the holiday dinners. Hahaha" hahaha shut the hell up.
    Icing on cake was when one of my good friends saw me at 18 weeks pregnant and loudly exclaimed, "You don't even look pregnant, you just look like you had some extra to eat." I almost left a perfectly good brunch when she said that. She did redeem herself, though, when I saw her again a week later and she said I looked like I had popped overnight.

    You really just can't let it get to you. Seriously, it's like people think as soon as you're pregnant, you grow a huge tummy automatically so the world can know you're expecting. NOT!

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    rachellemons
  • I can't recall anyone saying anything rude to me  personally, and yes, I know it comes with the territory, but anytime I run into people I don't see that often who know I'm pregnant or just find out that I'm pregnant, the first thing they do is look down at my belly. I know it's human nature and curiosity to see how I've grown, but I can't help but feel judged...even though I'm sure they're not thinking something negative hopefully. Body image issues suck.

    I have had a friend (who is due in 3 days!!) get told 'I thought something was up-you look fuller in the face!!' after she told someone she was 6 months pregnant. Who says that!!?? I felt so bad for her!

    I'm sorry some of you ladies have dealt with rude and unfiltered people. 
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    frankengibbs
  • A gal at my work asked me my due date is and when I told her, she said "Wow! I bet it's twins!" I wish more people would say things to make pregnant women feel better. I already had to pull out my fat pants and I'm 20 weeks. Lol. The fun part comes after your baby is born and people say things like "don't worry, it takes awhile to lose all that weight," or "while your prego they say "just make sure to breastfeed and most of that will go away." Haha
    liljohnsonbaby
  • My lovely mother in law just said to me the other day that I'm a lot bigger than my sister in law (who by the way is due in March). I could have ripped her throat out at that moment and DH just says that's what is supposed to happen. I know I'm supposed to get bigger but I don't need anyone to comment on it. No filters in that family I swear!!!
    AceybabyUseTheTriforce94
  • My own mother has insisted more than once now that I "must be carrying twins" which is actually beyond annoying to me, as I would love to be carrying twins, I'm not.. We've had more than one ultrasound now showing ONE baby. Yes I have a LARGE belly.. No it's not because I'm carrying twins.. Im obviously just "fat" and pregnant...
    Anfosterincciennah99SammeMotleyUseTheTriforce94
  • It really bugs me that there's this whole mindset that when a woman becomes pregnant, her body and appearance is automatically up for conversation. If I went around commenting on other people's bodies it would be considered rude. So why is it suddenly not if you're pregnant?
    The rudest I've heard:
    "You look like you have a whole litter in there" -SMIL ...thanks but I'm not a cat so...
    "Are you sure it's not twins?! You're so big" -11yr old BIL ...yes, I'm sure and no, I am not SO big but are you sure you wanna comment on my belly because you look more pregnant than I do...
    "Your ass looks huge" -SSIL, 16, ...I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or not...
    AddelieAnfosterincUseTheTriforce94
  • kaycorey89kaycorey89 member
    edited February 2015
    I have ppl come into work all the time, regular customers and they all comment on how big I am. I'm 23w1d, and the they ask if it's twins or that it must be twins... No. Not it's not there is only one ppl! Then they ask me if I'm sure! Yes! Listened to the heartbeat enough and had the ultrasound. It's only one. Then I just get a wow and they leave.. Really? Thanks for the insult. I realize that yes I am big for how far along I am. But little do they know my ob told us the baby is measuring bigger than how far along I am, but there is no other day I got pregnant. So we are expecting a big boy. Boyfriend himself was 9 pushing 10lbs when he was born. The way I see it, the old saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!!!
    ciennah99
  • Man, I'm so happy for my friends and family after reading some of these! My advice, ignore them all! I'm sure you are all beautiful, healthy women who are soon to be Mommys!! People are stupid and insensitive!
    UseTheTriforce94
  • There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 


    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    Didn't she bitch you out for announcing not too long ago??

    ...I only remember because of the 50/50 thing not because I'm creepy or anything.
  • devyns2nd said:
    There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 

    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    Didn't she bitch you out for announcing not too long ago?? ...I only remember because of the 50/50 thing not because I'm creepy or anything.

    She never bitched me out, but she has been saying some really messed up shit to me since the day I announced. Like saying that just about everything can cause a MC and that I could still lose the baby at 5 months. Last week she said I had a lot of gray hair but that I shouldn't dye it even though my doctor said it was ok, oooh and that it was bad to get manicures and pedicures (which I get every week!) Apparently I am a horrible person for putting my baby at risk for the sake of "vanity". The bitch is crazy.
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  • Former June15mom lurking

    @chelseahebert1991‌ and I that thought the children was considered to be innocent "lambs" according to the Bible....! Wonder what hurtful nonsense she would have said to someone who had a miscarriage if she really believes that sh*t! I'm glad to hear that you do not tolerate any of it! I have some pretty religious relatives too and know how it can be sometimes...
  • @ chelseahebert1991 Wow. Being a 'godless' family ourselves I'm surprised we haven't gotten something like this ourselves yet. If I did tho I would do the exact same you have done, so my hats off to you.

    For myself, my biggest complaint about rude comments is not about weight but about birth control. Why does everyone ask immediately about your BC when they find out you are pregnant? "Were you trying? Well why not? If you were using BC then you must've made a decision to not use it and that's why you are pregnant. What kind of BC did you use?" I get these questions from people who I've talked to maybe once or twice before! Like I'm going to talk about intimate details of my sex life with some person I see maybe twice a month sitting at the bar where I work.
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    frankengibbs
  • I had a distant relative tell me in a private message that because I wasn't raising my child with religion (as we're Catholic bred, but very Atheist) she felt it necessary to tell me that if my baby girl dies and isn't baptized, she'll rot in hell and it'll be all my fault for damning her. I wrote back everything that ran through my head after reading that horse shit, deleted and blocked her and told my close family to let her know that it's horrible creatures like her that I'll be protecting my daughter from. I'd much rather have a "you're huge" comment :
    That is horrible thing to say to anyone no matter their beliefs. I'm sorry someone would say that to you. As a (non practicing) Catholic I will tell you a "true" Christian would never say such a thing to anyone and should just pray for the person. Again, I'm born and raised Catholic and believe in God, but really don't go to church other than weddings, baptisms and funerals. I don't expect anyone or everyone to share my beliefs, but am just appalled to hear a FAMILY MEMBER say that. So, to I'll let you join the "fat" club............ I can't believe how big you are!. lol Totally kidding.

    KaLikeAWindmalgosia21sUseTheTriforce94
  • I wouldn't say the comments I heard are rude but since in a sensitive one bc of all the hormones it sure did make me a little mad/sad.

    One of my best friends says "there is no hiding your pregnant anymore that is definitely a pregnant belly"

    I work at a daycare and pretty much everyone knows but my co worker said "are you exoecting? You're really round"

    And the 6 year old girl I babysit for says " I can definitely see the baby you have in your belly now". Lol this one cracks me up
    UseTheTriforce94
  • mellymar said:

    @ chelseahebert1991 Wow. Being a 'godless' family ourselves I'm surprised we haven't gotten something like this ourselves yet. If I did tho I would do the exact same you have done, so my hats off to you.

    For myself, my biggest complaint about rude comments is not about weight but about birth control. Why does everyone ask immediately about your BC when they find out you are pregnant? "Were you trying? Well why not? If you were using BC then you must've made a decision to not use it and that's why you are pregnant. What kind of BC did you use?" I get these questions from people who I've talked to maybe once or twice before! Like I'm going to talk about intimate details of my sex life with some person I see maybe twice a month sitting at the bar where I work.

    I get the same thing about the BC...I kind of assumed people assumed it's okay to ask because DH and I are in our 20's and at that stage where half of us are drunks at the end of college or just got engaged/married and may or may not want kids just yet. That being said, I don't know how it suddenly became "appropriate" to ask what kind of BC (if any) that we were using. If you're not my OB, that's a really rude and weird question to ask. It's literally asking about how my husband and I were having sex, what's next? Gonna ask about the position too?
    KaLikeAWindombradellarosaUseTheTriforce94
  • ^ Right!?! And if you tell them its none of their business then they get all huffy and act like we're the ones with an attitude problem. Also, since DH and I are late 30s in age, I also get asked why we didn't have any kids sooner, and am constantly reminded how old I will be when LO is entering elementary school, Jr high, graduating, etc. I get it, I'll be the old parent at PTA meetings. But damnit, I'll be the cool old parent.
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    frankengibbsombradellarosalisad653UseTheTriforce94
  • Relatedly, I am not looking forward to when our families figure out we aren't baptizing our child. My dad's fam is über Catholic and DH's fam has Lutheran pastors on both sides! My Grandma is wonderful, but truly believes you go to hell if you are not baptized.
    UseTheTriforce94
  • mellymar said:

    ^ Right!?! And if you tell them its none of their business then they get all huffy and act like we're the ones with an attitude problem. Also, since DH and I are late 30s in age, I also get asked why we didn't have any kids sooner, and am constantly reminded how old I will be when LO is entering elementary school, Jr high, graduating, etc. I get it, I'll be the old parent at PTA meetings. But damnit, I'll be the cool old parent.

    Lol! Seriously! Why in the name of all that is holy would someone get upset that I don't want to share my BC methods with them now that I'm pregnant?! It makes me feel like saying something really dumb like "Guess you can get knocked up in a pool! Who'd've think it!" to prove my point.
    Also, who's business is it whether or not you were trying or had a happy accident? Certainly not something I wanna talk about over dinner with the in-laws.

    I would brush off the "old" comments. There are so many different benefits when it comes to having a child at various stages of your life whether it be 20's or 30's ...I think people just like to find anything they can to rub your nose in it.
    KaLikeAWindombradellarosa
  • edited February 2015
    I get the same thing about the BC...I kind of assumed people assumed it's okay to ask because DH and I are in our 20's and at that stage where half of us are drunks at the end of college or just got engaged/married and may or may not want kids just yet. That being said, I don't know how it suddenly became "appropriate" to ask what kind of BC (if any) that we were using. If you're not my OB, that's a really rude and weird question to ask. It's literally asking about how my husband and I were having sex, what's next? Gonna ask about the position too?

    This. When I first told people, almost everyone asked, "Were you trying or was it a surprise?" By now, most people I tell don't seem to ask any more (I don't get this either - is it just the nature of being farther along?)... But a former employee, who I don't really care for, emailed to say she heard, and her first sentence in the email was, "Was it planned or a surprise?" I'm 32 and have been married for 3 years, with DH for 10. Do people not know how this happens, or think I don't know??! My best answer so far was, "Well I wasn't asleep!" The woman actually apologized. I tried, "Want to see the tape?!" But since these are inappropriate people anyway, that didn't stop them, and just made things more awkward...
    frankengibbsKaLikeAWindombradellarosa
  • @amark11‌ Lol! "Wanna see the tape?" ...now that one's good! I feel like saying "We had sex" with a blank stare would be great too. I find it even more weird, now that you made me think of it, but considering that I'm
    married to my baby's father, it's really strange to ask if we were TTC or just had an oops.
    KaLikeAWindUseTheTriforce94
  • Ok this was not while pregnant but a few years ago I was working as a teller and the counter is right below belly button and I was leaning my weight against the counter while I typed (naturally makinging the fat push up). Anyways I was helping this man (really fat greasy man might i add) when he asks "are you expecting? " I said "no" then he said "oh I am sorry it just looked like it" OMG shut up! Then he tries to make it better and says "do you have any kids?" Yes a son... " oh really, how old" he is 9 months... "oh so you just havent lost the baby weight yet!" Are you freaking kidding me? Shut up!
  • There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 


    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    She does know the chances of miscarriage... Up till 12 weeks. .. Maybe remind her she should have kept it secret to she was safe . return the favor
  • There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 

    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    She does know the chances of miscarriage... Up till 12 weeks. .. Maybe remind her she should have kept it secret to she was safe . return the favor
    I posted this on the "other place" but I'll share it again here :) 

    She told me yesterday "want to see how much sooner you get a bump when it's your second baby?" and proceeded to lift up her shirt and show me her belly. I told her she was just bloated. BWAAHHAAAHAAA
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    Emilyy93leightrainmccall35
  • I had a distant relative tell me in a private message that because I wasn't raising my child with religion (as we're Catholic bred, but very Atheist) she felt it necessary to tell me that if my baby girl dies and isn't baptized, she'll rot in hell and it'll be all my fault for damning her. I wrote back everything that ran through my head after reading that horse shit, deleted and blocked her and told my close family to let her know that it's horrible creatures like her that I'll be protecting my daughter from.

    I'd much rather have a "you're huge" comment :(

    As a person who IS a practicing Catholic, I'm horrified that your relative is treating you that way - that's not what this faith is about! No matter what your beliefs are, I'm sure you're planning to raise your daughter to be a kind, loving person. That's what matters.
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    agapeflower117
  • Ive not long started a new job and two colleagues have asked "did you plan or was it an accident" I think its such a rude question to ask someone you barely know
    KaLikeAWindfrankengibbs
  • The other day I had a woman approach me.in the grocery store while I was carrying my 2 year old DS throwing a temper tantrum (trying to make for the door) and say "wow you look like you swallowed a basketball." I was almost tempted to tell her she looked like she swallowed a turkey but I just glared as I stomped away. Really getting close to start touching people's belly when the reach for mine, maybe I'll ask when their due date is too.

  • devyns2nd said:

    There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 


    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    Didn't she bitch you out for announcing not too long ago??

    ...I only remember because of the 50/50 thing not because I'm creepy or anything.




    She never bitched me out, but she has been saying some really messed up shit to me since the day I announced. Like saying that just about everything can cause a MC and that I could still lose the baby at 5 months. Last week she said I had a lot of gray hair but that I shouldn't dye it even though my doctor said it was ok, oooh and that it was bad to get manicures and pedicures (which I get every week!) Apparently I am a horrible person for putting my baby at risk for the sake of "vanity". The bitch is crazy.

    If some bitch at work was saying shit about MC constantly to me, i don't think I could have restrained myself from clawing her eyes out.. You have amazing willpower.
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  • There's one idiot at my job that told me there's a 50/50 chance that I can die giving birth. She likes to say rude shit to me ALL THE TIME. 


    She also just announced her pregnancy at work yesterday. She's 4 weeks pregnant. I'm really looking forward to returning the favor now :)


    She does know the chances of miscarriage... Up till 12 weeks. .. Maybe remind her she should have kept it secret to she was safe . return the favor

    I posted this on the "other place"

    The other place? Where is this place? Is it a special portal to some cool dimension? I wanna see! Inbox me? :)
    Our Anniversary:- 06.02.2014
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    SammeMotley
  • Just got a "wow you're face is filling out" from my sons preK teacher...um, yes, I'm getting bigger! And I'm gonna eat those valentines cup cakes I was making for you, Biatch!
    megmamaElRubychristineoxoxSammeMotley
  • I had a distant relative tell me in a private message that because I wasn't raising my child with religion (as we're Catholic bred, but very Atheist) she felt it necessary to tell me that if my baby girl dies and isn't baptized, she'll rot in hell and it'll be all my fault for damning her. I wrote back everything that ran through my head after reading that horse shit, deleted and blocked her and told my close family to let her know that it's horrible creatures like her that I'll be protecting my daughter from.

    I'd much rather have a "you're huge" comment :(

    So, I'd consider myself a pretty religious Catholic, and that whole unbaptized babies go to Hell thing...is not a thing, trust me. It might have been taught several generations ago, but it's bunk. It makes no sense, and it's just insecure people taking their own fears out on you instead of helping people and loving them like they're supposed to do. I apologize for them on behalf of church! Haha.
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