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June 2015 Moms
Tacky to have a baby shower for your third?!?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tacky to have a baby shower for your third?!?
im havin my first in june and im goin to have a baby arrival so the baby will be there so everyone can meet the lil one
God, I miss college. And beer.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
God, I miss college. And beer.
Plus like.. It was totally acceptable to throw a diaper keg bash- if anyone thought it was tacky they got too drunk to remember about an hour in.
Tell ya one thing, that diaper kegger was a hell of a lot more fun than most of the baby showers I've been to!
*** BFP #3 - angel baby at 8w2d - D&C 1.31.14 ***
*** BFP #4 - Chloe Grace, the 'C' to complete our 'A & B' - born Feb 25th, 2015 at 22w2d, lived for 2.5hrs ***
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c7a3f.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
My boys used alot of pink stuff from my niece.
Without the title 'shower' or 'sprinkle', it becomes much more casual and people won't feel obligated to bring gifts if they don't want too.
It's likely many will still want to spoil your baby with presents, but nobody would feel as though it's an expectation.
June 2015 Siggy Challenge: Pinterest Fails
Apparently the goddess of house and home Martha Stewart states with secondary baby gatherings to keep it to immediate family and prelude friends so as to not to cause them to feel obligated to get you things. Her theory summed up for it is KISS (keep it SIMPLE).
All etiquette blogs state that it is in fact tacky to host it yourself and this should NEVER EVER BE DONE.
Personally I have never ever been to a second, third, fourth or fifth shower (sorry but at some point......you should be prepared). For my friends who have multiples, we usually have a barbque or other small gathering (where gifts are NOT obligated) to spend time with mom and dad and visit the new bundle. Most of us will bring a small something but as most have kids already - it is also a gathering for the children to have fun as well.
Oh good god, you HAVE to be kidding, right? ASKING for a shower?
SO many things wrong with this post:
First, you should never ask someone to throw you a party - either they offer or they don't but you can't put someone in that position. I can't decide whether this is better or worse than throwing your own - I'll call it a tie on etiquette taboos.
Second, you don't "need" a shower - "need" and "want" are two very different concepts. On a related note, you should never be relying on the generosity of others to provide for your child. If you want new baby clothes, go ahead and purchase them yourself. If people want to give you a GIFT, they will. Demanding that someone throw you a shower so that you can force your friends and family to buy you more things is in poor taste (and yes, this is EXACTLY what you're doing when you ask that someone throw you a shower.)
Finally, you need people to throw you a party and bring you gifts in order to feel "special"? You're pregnant again, you didn't cure cancer.
P.S. Before anyone starts in with the "showers are to celebrate the baby and aren't about gifts", this is historically and factually inaccurate. You are entitled to your opinion on how you personally view the purpose of a shower but in terms of how society, as a whole, views the purpose of a shower - that's just not the case.
@maplebaby I don't think it is a big deal when they are offering you a shower that sounds like it will be very small. It is not like you are thinking you are entitled to one as many of the posts in favor of showers for 2nd/3rd/whatever on this thread come across.
Can you do a generic registry for some of the small items? Tell them you have most things covered which is why you aren't doing a big registry.
@maplebaby, let them throw you a shower. At my job, it's customary to throw a small shower whenever someone or their wife is having a baby for the first time while working here. I hate the term, but it would be more like a "sprinkle." Most people don't buy gifts and just give a little bit of cash to whoever is organizing and let them pick things out. People like the excuse to get out of work for an hour and eat cake, too.
Even though celebrities sometimes do the donation showers, I think this is a bad idea (for non-celebrities). It's like, "Come celebrate @maplebaby by coming to the conference room and bring a gift that's not for her because she doesn't want anything." The response would be "Then why are we having a party?" And your idea about requesting that people bring a message or favorite poem to your baby is very sweet, but you've already expressed discomfort at your male co-workers feeling like they have to be there--I think being asked to write something to a co-worker's unborn baby or pick out a poem would be more uncomfortable for them than watching you open up a few presents. I get along very well with all of my co-workers, but I'd even be uncomfortable doing that.
Registering for cloth diapers is a great idea since that's something you're going to need.
Me (31) Him (31)
Married: 5/2013
CP: 9/18/14 (4w:4d)
BFP: 10/16/14 EDD: 6/21/15
---- QUOTE BOX FAIL------
You are aware that this question was posted on a public forum and that she specifically asked if this was tacky.
It's just how "others" perceive your motive to why you are having a baby shower...every reason is different.
She never said she was throwing her own shower, which yes most people find tacky, she said one was offered to her. Why do we need to tip toe around how everyone else would feel if someone throws her a shower? It's not about being into ur self, a celebration was offered, why is it wrong for her to want to celebrate her lil miracle with her closest loved ones? JMO
True, but I think as grown women, we can all give our opinions without making someone feel shitty for accepting.