Question to Fathers....

threeweiners

Our first child (son) is 4.5 months old.  For the first 2-3 months I was able to soothe his cries during the day and at night to give my wife some relief, most importantly during the night time wake-ups/feedings.  About a month ago it took a turn where my son will not calm down in my arms.  I understand that he has grown a very strong bond with his mother, which is great.  However, it is difficult now that he is not comfortable in my arms when he gets upset.  He is still very happy and comfortable with me when I get him in the mornings, or play with him during the day, so it is not all the time.  But at a point he just gets tired of being with me and nothing with do other than mommy's arms.  It is getting to the point that he stops feeding with me, but will finish his bottle with mom.  Also, if I do try and calm him down by holding, rocking, shushing, etc. he just escalates and gets beyond upset. 

Have any other fathers encountered this?  Any ideas on how I can help my son be comfortable with me again like he was previously so we can give mom a break now and then?

themrs83

Can you try other things to build up that bond? Bath time, reading?

tbarker14

Don't take it personally... babies go through a period where all they want is mommy. And other times all they want is daddy.
Just keep trying to do other things like pp mentioned... bath time, walks, and do other things with your son.
Just remember they can feel your vibes and tension. So don't take it personally and give it time!

Patch89

this is exactly what is happening to my husband right now. Play time , bath time, cuddles is fine with Dad. But when it comes to feeding / sleeping / comforting its me DD wants. He is a little upset but i told him its just a phase !! she's not intentionally doing it - its just one of them things !! hold tight - I'm sure it will soon pass !! DD is almost 6 months old. 

RedBaramid

Working mom here, my husband is a stay at home papa right now.  This is my life. I can play with her, bathe her, and occasionally we can do cuddles.. but she won't let me put her to bed at night, it has to be daddy.  Is she sleepy? She needs daddy.  Does she have a tummy ache? She needs daddy.  She won't even nap in my arms anymore unless daddy soothes her down and he hands her over while she's sleeping.  I feel AWFUL.  I had to stop nursing and I was excited because nursing was something I found uncomfortable anyway.. now I actually catch myself missing it because it was one thing I could do to comfort her that daddy couldn't.  

Everyone says it's just a phase... and to not give up. So I continue to try and be the one that puts her to bed, daddy sits where she can see him while I rock.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I really hope it passes soon though because while I'm thrilled to have a daddy's girl.. I miss my baby being a momma's girl too. Good luck and try not to take it too personally. I promise I'm hanging in there with ya.