Organization with 2 versus 1

jlovesky

I hope I don't sound completely out there in asking this but I want to know from other moms...

I have a few co-workers that told me once that there ability to organize and atleast try to stay on top of the multiple tasks a mom has became better once they went from 1 to 2 children because at that point they felt like they HAD to be that way.

We have an almost 3 year old and baby #2 will arrive just after his 3rd bday. I am currently MAJORLY struggling with the decision to continue working full-time after maternity leave or stay home with them. I have a few various part-time options that would be very few hours each week but pay enough to fill the gap of what I would bring home from FT job after daycare, gas, lunch, etc. But what I am also juggling in my head-and my reason for this post-is that I already have anxiety thinking about working full time, raising 2 children under 4 & also balancing all the duties at home like cleaning, bill pay, etc. I have DH who is a great help but I definitely would say I am the one that does the most and I don't mind it that way--I just know my organziation abilities definitely suffered after one child.

I'm also aware that the glimmering idea of being a SAHM who can "do it all" is not realistic but I know it would offer way more time to actually keep up on housework, sit down and do all needed bill pay, do laundry regularly, etc.

Any advice here would be so helpful-I know I'm overthinking this but I just want to be as prepared as possible...wishful thinking!

itsmevkb

I hate cleaning my house so there would never come a day where I'd want to stay at home to allow me the time to do that!  We have someone come and clean every other week.

But, of course, as you realize, it's not just all that.  There is a lot to juggle with even just one kid and I guess I didn't feel having two was really THAT much more.  Now, with number five on the way, I have begun to feel a little more anxious over how it will all work but most of that stems from having kids vary in ages from 8 to newborn.  I've found having kids in school takes more organization than when they are younger.  They just have more things going on between their school calendar, special days, treat days, who wants hot lunch, after school activities, etc. vs when they were two and were basically with a sitter or at home and my biggest concern was laundry.

I sometimes think about how great it would be to be home and have more time to cook "real" meals every night and just have more time in general to do laundry or what not but when it comes right down to it, I really do love my job and it's not one I can get back if I take a few years off so for me I'm just making it work.

djm31012

I am in the exact same boat as you. I agree with the suggestion to outsource as much as possible if you decide to stay working-have a nanny because honestly thats easier than daycare (we are a daycare family and while I love it, I know a nanny would make things a lot easier).  We have a cleaning lady once every 2 weeks. Our dry cleaning gets picked up on tuesdays and dropped back off on thursdays. we have a landscaper.  I meal plan but I am not great at it so I feel like dinner is solid Sunday - Tues then sort of falls off the wagon, but meal planning is a must as is doing as much the night before as you possibly can. 

For me , I decided after LO2 I will be staying home because it works best for our family. DH and I both work 60-70 hrs a week with long commutes and i just dont feel like its sustainable anymore. I am looking forward to being home with my kids,but also taking some things off DHs plate that we currently split so he can come home from work and just enjoy his family and relax instead of rushing out to do something,, sitting down to pay bills etc. We both just feel like it will be a lot less hectic if one of us is home, and I want to be that one. Its a hard decision, but we have weighed all the pros and cons we know we will be happier that way.

2chatter

I was a single mom with a 3 year old and a baby - divorce.  Worked.  It's not really that different than one, honestly.  It gets more different when they are older and you have 2-3 drop offs/pick ups and a kid schedule that changes often based on their activities, special activities, etc. 

I was tons more organized working than I was when I SAH/consulted/worked part time.  It's a matter of necessity versus "I could do that" when you work.  I know a ton of SAHMs who struggle with organization, cleaning, keeping up, etc.  so really it comes down less to number of kids and more to personality.  I thrive under pressure, have to be busy and hate being bored/always eating at home/not having a schedule/not having something outside that I care about/work on and motivated by -- so it doesn't make sense to me.

I also love outsourcing everything and would rather die than take on all the tasks my salary pays people to do, including babysitters for girls nights and paying an electrician to check all our wiring and replace all the bulbs with LED bulbs, instead of doing that myself with a voltometer and a ladder (YUCK!). 

ebp913

I'm far more organized now that I have been in a decade.  It becomes more and more necessary the more kids you have.  I also work full time and have 3 under 3.  I have a great daycare I love that all the kids go to, my job allows me some time during the week to handle personal matters and I use my free time smartly.  I often run errands and take care of things at home during lunch when no kids are around.  I also do things after bedtime but mostly I push as much as I can into my lunch breaks so we don't spend the weekend doing errands and stuff.  I work 40 hours pretty much all the time so I can balance this all pretty well.  I think I'd like to move to part time but for now, we are doing good and I enjoy my adult work life.  My kids are so demanding and it makes me a better mom to have some space from them during the week. 

I also outsource some things like a cleaning lady.  We used to have a nanny at our house but we moved to daycare after #3 came and actually it's great for our family. I can come home at lunch and get things done, we aren't worrying about the nanny having appointments, getting sick, etc and my kids love their daycare. It's a good fit for our family. 

CarrieB.

I have two - DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 1. The first year of having a baby and a toddler was really really hard, but now things are much better. I just think having a small baby is difficult. Once everyone's eating regular food and on more of a schedule it gets better.

I've been doing an organizing project every weekend and it's helped my life a lot. For example, I got rid of all my maternity clothes, post partum clothes and stuff that looked bad. Now I have less clothing choices, but better ones. It's those little things that save you five minutes here and there that are life savers.

itsmevkb

Just as a side question - am I the only one who pays my bills at work, like in the 15 minutes before my actual start time or when I come back from lunch early?  I honestly don't think I ever sit down at home and pay bills.

CarrieB.

itsmevkb said:

Just as a side question - am I the only one who pays my bills at work, like in the 15 minutes before my actual start time or when I come back from lunch early?  I honestly don't think I ever sit down at home and pay bills.

I almost always pay my bills at work.

ebp913

CarrieB. said:

I have two - DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 1. The first year of having a baby and a toddler was really really hard, but now things are much better. I just think having a small baby is difficult. Once everyone's eating regular food and on more of a schedule it gets better. I've been doing an organizing project every weekend and it's helped my life a lot. For example, I got rid of all my maternity clothes, post partum clothes and stuff that looked bad. Now I have less clothing choices, but better ones. It's those little things that save you five minutes here and there that are life savers.

I've been doing the same with projects.  I made a Google doc with everything I want to get done and then I try to do one thing per week and I made a schedule of my plan.  I do small stuff like clean out 1 closet per week or something like that.  It's definitely helping me get things done and feel less overwhelmed by it all.