January 2015 Moms

Should I just give up?

I know there are a couple breastfeeding threads, but I wasn't sure if my question would get lost among all the posts. So, with DD1, I was only able to bf for about a week, due to latching problems, and I tried pumping, and got hardly anything out. With this one, I started supplementing with formula in the hospital after the doctor advised me to do so to get her weight up (she was slightly jaundiced and had to gain a certain amount of weight back before we could leave the hospital). Now, I bf on each side most sessions between 20-30 minutes, but she is still sucking on her hands like she is hungry. I offer the breast again, but she spits it out. So I give her 2-3 ounces of formula after each feeding. I just got my breast pump, and pumped less than an ounce the first time I used it, and NOTHING the second time I tried. I waited about 2 hours after I fed her to pump, thinking I'd have more milk, but now I'm wondering if she's even getting anything the whole time she's bf'ing or if she's just using me as a pacifier. Help! I feel like such a failure again. DD1 turned out fine with formula, but I was hoping bf'ing would work out this time. I just want to know if I should even bother continuing bf'ing and enduring the sore nipples or just exclusively formula feed and call it a day.....
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Re: Should I just give up?

  • Thats a personal decision that you need to make. Maybe your milk hasn't fully come in yet? I'd keep trying if you want to breastfeed. But I fully understand your situation. I was in that same spot wiht my DS 17 months ago.

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  • I know there was some talk about having a check in on this thread... https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12524993/any-interest-in-a-bf-check-in#latest

    Maybe you'll find some support there until someone makes a thread for a check in... Good Luck!

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  • I gave up. I promised myself that I wouldn't beat myself up over my milk production, or lack thereof, with this baby like I did with DD. He's fed and happy, which is more than I can say for DD at this age. She was constantly starving and miserable.
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  • I agree with seeing a LC to work on the latch issues. DS2 has a bad latch, and we're going to see a LC to work on it. With a bad latch, the baby may not be stimulating the breast enough to get out much milk or to tell your body to make more - I think that may be part of my issue. The most I've pumped this time is about an ounce.

    It's totally up to you. If the latching problems can be fixed, I think you could have a lot more success with BF (at least that's what I'm hoping for myself). But if it's stressing you out, EFF is also a good option.
  • csjsmomcsjsmom member
    edited February 2015
  • This is a personal decision. If I were you, I wouldn't give up. .. despite having the desire to. Nursing takes up so much time in the first few weeks, along with the sore nipples. It gets very over whelming and exhausting. If BF is something you really want to do, I'd keep on trucking. I would suggest you meet with a LC. They can help you tremendously. I'd Def. Start there.

    Also, there is nothing wrong with doing both formula and breastfeeding if you choose to go that route. Or even if you strictly do formula, that's OK too.

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  • I made mini goals with ds, like get to 3 weeks, 6 weeks then 6 months, then a year etc. we ended up breastfeeding until I had to wean him in October due to being in my third trimester. In the first d few weeks I was almost convinced I was failing but remember a baby is much more efficient than a pump and stressing out decreases your ability to pump, so its not the best measure. I'd look up galactalogues which are things you can consume to increase milk production, like oatmeal, or lactation cookies. I'm not sure of its an old wives tale but I also drank a beer right after feeding as I was told that one of dh's grandma did the same with her 5 kids and swore by it, if you enjoy beer it can't hurt ;-)
    I also read a ton in Kelly mom, but I think the advice of going to a support group at the hospital if there is one or seeing a lc might ease your worries
  • Thanks everyone! I don't think we have latch issues this time around, like I did with DD1, I just don't know if she's getting enough from me since she is sucking on her hands right afterwards. And I guess I need to look up cluster feeding because I have no idea what that is! But I am planning to keep bf'ing as long as I can...I really don't want to give up, but hopefully in the next 2-4 weeks, it will get easier. If not, I guess I will make my decision then. I want to enjoy my baby and not stress about feeding like I did early on with DD1.
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  • Thanks everyone! I don't think we have latch issues this time around, like I did with DD1, I just don't know if she's getting enough from me since she is sucking on her hands right afterwards. And I guess I need to look up cluster feeding because I have no idea what that is! But I am planning to keep bf'ing as long as I can...I really don't want to give up, but hopefully in the next 2-4 weeks, it will get easier. If not, I guess I will make my decision then. I want to enjoy my baby and not stress about feeding like I did early on with DD1.
    Is she fussy and upset or rooting around while sucking on her hand?  Some babies just like to suck on something and if she's not upset and crying for food I don't think it's necessarily a sign of hunger.

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  • Thanks everyone! I don't think we have latch issues this time around, like I did with DD1, I just don't know if she's getting enough from me since she is sucking on her hands right afterwards. And I guess I need to look up cluster feeding because I have no idea what that is! But I am planning to keep bf'ing as long as I can...I really don't want to give up, but hopefully in the next 2-4 weeks, it will get easier. If not, I guess I will make my decision then. I want to enjoy my baby and not stress about feeding like I did early on with DD1.

    Is she fussy and upset or rooting around while sucking on her hand?  Some babies just like to suck on something and if she's not upset and crying for food I don't think it's necessarily a sign of hunger.


    Yes, she is fussing and crying while sucking her hand. I've only seen her do that when it is time for her to eat. She also will suck on my shoulder and cry if I pick her up...so I know it's a hunger thing, not just her soothing herself.
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  • We were having latch issues like crazy at first. Talked to a lactation consultant and turns out I have flat nipples. She advised me to use a nipple shield that just goes over my nipple and now she latches to that fine. She's gaining weight great (up over a pound from her birth weight at 3 weeks) but I also have never pumped more than an ounce. Maybe a nipple shield would help baby latch for you, too?
  • Im sorry you're struggling. I can certainly relate, we're at the same point right now. My first son always had a bad latch and needed to be readmitted to the NICU for jaundice at 5 days old where we needed to start supplementing. once he had the bottle though, he was done with nursing. I hated being chained to a pump, so we ended up going EFF by 3 weeks old.

    This time around, ds2 latched on beautifully in the hospital, but again was jaundiced, so to avoid another go around with the Nicu, we started supplementing. He also would nurse a good 20-30 minutes on each side and rhen root around and cry while sucking on his hands. I knew he was still hungry, so we started supplementing. Now that he's had the bottle, he's refusing the breast. I told myself I wouldn't be chained to a pump or make myself crazy over it this time, but with the pp hormones, it makes it hard to make the decision.

    That said, I totally get where you're at. Im also at that point, considering I went the whole nine uards with my first son...the constant nursing, pumping, seeing the LC, etc. And we still ended up on formula. But clearly he thrived on it. So its looking like we are heading in that direction again, although the hormones and all the pressure surrounding BFing doesnt make it easy.

    Just know that no matter what method we all choose to feed our babies, the most important thing is that they are fed, loved, and happy.

    Hang in there mama..you're doing great.
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  • I can't remember if this was mentioned, but make sure you're drinking A LOT of water. I can notice when my supply is less because I'm not drinking enough. Just throwing that out there too. I hope it gets figured out for you though and I think you'll know if you get to a point where truly enough is enough. Good luck
  • I agree with PP about possible cluster feeding, but another way to tell if she is getting enough would be by a wet/soiled diaper count depending on the baby's age.
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