Vent session/encouraging words needed desperately<3

ToriCarey

I'm having a hard time, I'm young, I'm a single mother, I just had my little Oliver Tate, and the story is quite complicated. Right now were living with my mother and her boyfriend. My little Oliver is the only thing keeping me sane in their house right now. They're so supportive and help me out so much, but at the same time they're both so pushy, and they both have very, VERY serious OCD's with cleanliness (example: water dropplets in the sink after doing the dishes) I can't keep up with alll of their unrealistic expectations of cleaning, and the past few nights I've had nightmares in my room, so Oliver and I slept in my sisters room night before last, there was a BIG blowout between my mom and I, she yelled at me for sleeping in that room, but it's the best sleep is gotten in weeks. I slept for 4 hours straight! But that did not matter. They've just been really pushy and I snapped finally. I just feel trapped a lot, but at the same time they are helpful, but also, I just CANNOT succeed in fulfilling their insane expectations with a child in my arms 95% of the time. I can't even fit a shower in half of the time. Or eat when I want. I help out when I can. I mopped the floors at 4 in the morning last week. I'm just... Losing my mind. I know this is incredibly wrong, but I just need some really nice encouraging words. It's becoming too much to handle.

jess123456

I am so sorry that you are going through that. It sounds like a tough situation. Is there anyone else that you could stay with that might make for a healthier environment for you and your child? Sending you lots of hugs. Have you had a calm sit down with your mom and boyfriend explaining your frustrations?

Something that I try to practice in my own life (but it is really hard) is that while we have no control over the actions of others we do have control of how we respond to them.

ToriCarey

Thanks so much for the reply. Just feels a lot better having someone talk to you about it that can understand the frustrations or offer any piece of advice. We are staying at my brothers for tonight. Just a little break from the house. But were at my mothers for good for awhile. Oliver's nursery and everything is there. So as much as it's driving me insane I just need to get over it and do what's best for him and give him stability. I just need to give myself a break more than I have. And your right about how I should control my reactions, I usually do pretty good with it, but there's always room for improvement. Just hard with lack of sleep and consistent point outs of what I'm doing wrong ya know?

hiketheworld

It's hard enough raising a baby with two parents in my own home. I feel for you. You are in a tough situation for sure. I'd probably try and have a heart to heart with your mom. Hang in there!

ToriCarey

Thank you so much<3

joshua+rebecca11

I agree with @hiketheworld and @jess123456 ...is talking to your mom an option, and explaining what's going on? Maybe you all could come to an understanding. I'm sorry you're dealing with this!

sarah&francesca

I am in the same situation. My FI and I are waiting on an apartment but as of now living separately. I am also at home with my family. My mom and I fight and scream every other day it seems like but I have no place to go as of now! It's very frustrating but looking on the bright side we are lucky they haven't kicked us out of their home. Good luck to you I really hope it gets better. I am also a young mom and even tho I am still with my bf he isn't allowed in my house (my mom doesn't like him) so I am raising my daughter alone too. I know how difficult it is but we will get through this!

ToriCarey

Thank you so much everyone. These kind and supporting words are helping sooooo much. I felt like I was about to snap.

sarah&francesca

Can I ask you how old you are? I am 20 yet I don't think age defines how you are as a mother. Many friends and family tell me I am doing a great job. And it sounds like you are too. Some people were just meant to be mommys despite age. I really hope it gets better for you I was reluctant to answer your post because I didn't want to reveal my own personal life and struggles but our situation is similar and felt you should know I know how you might be feeling...

Xtabbikatx

I do not know how young you are but when I lived with my parents it was miserable. They were controlling and over protective. However when I moved out things got much better between us. I now go to my mom for advice and she is a great resource. Some people can not live together. If you can I would look into assistance for being on your own maybe find a roommate and use things like WIC. At the very least maybe find a support group IRL that you can go too for venting sessions. Maybe someone there will be able to help point you in the right direction . mental health is important for raising a baby.

ToriCarey

That's great advice, I'm going to look into support groups ASAP. And I'm 22.