*~*~* ftm & btdtm play date! 01/15/15 *~*~*

AMShark

Welcome to the First Time Mothers (FTM) & Been There Done That Mothers (BTDTM) Play Date!

This is a thread for the FTM's in our PAIF community.  Check-ins will be posted every other Thursday.  On alternating Thursdays, I'll post a FT & BTDT moms' "Play Date" thread - in which we inexperienced first timers ask for advice and feedback from the more experienced ladies in our communities.

QOTW:  I'm tired of winter.  Let's pretend it's summer, it's Saturday, and you've got no obligations.  What would you be doing?

**Play Date Note** This week, I did *not* gather FTM questions in advance (sorry about that) - so, we're gonna wing it.

In an effort to keep the first post shorter, I've moved the FTM list to a subsequent post.

Please respect our BTDT contributors & avoid duplicate questions. What to know what was already answered?  Check out the links to previous Play Date threads:

10/02 Play Date session
10/17 Play Date session

10/30 Play Date session

11/13 Play Date session

12/18 Play Date session
01/08 Play Date session

AMShark

FTM's List

Third Trimester

12/15/14 - @xc1148

01/21/15 - @hopeby2015

01/24/15 - @Lady2010

02/02/15 - @WA1215

02/07/15 - @jaztastic

02/11/15 - @MissEm15

02/17/15 - @weansworld09

02/19/15 - @Escarabeo217

02/22/15 - @BeckyP005

02/22/15 - @runawaylaurel

03/14/15 - @Margritli (twins)

03/21/15 - @KT416

03/23/15 - @poohniki

Second Trimester

04/17/15 - @pblge

04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

04/29/15 - @AMShark (twins)

05/01/15 - @LO95

05/02/15 - @gsancho

05/05/15 - @rella22

05/07/15 - @sugar4bri (twins)

05/16/15 - @Aimothy

05/16/15 - @sunshinedaisies000

05/20/15 - @Lesliem0901

05/21/15 - @holberry5

05/25/15 - @1220winterbride

05/25/15 - @Champs28

05/25/15 - @Regan1976

05/25/15 - @yvonne0001

05/26/15 - @HCAMP123

05/26/15 - @viola27

05/28/a5 - @ky29

05/29/15 - @kittenmittens9

05/30/15 - @MJ14323

05/31/15 - @IFinTN

05/31/15 - @sweetpotato123 (twins)

06/03/15 - @turquoisequeen

06/04/15 - @wendyful

06/06/15 - @Andy99

06/11/15 - @starlightgator (twins)

06/12/15 - @PurpleDaisy923 (twins)

06/15/15 - @jessimi06 (twins)

06/18/15 - @hbanana18

06/24/15 - @erbear84

07/02/15 - @katemonster1

07/08/15 - @theblessingofababy

First Trimester 

07/21/15 - @chicory (twins)

07/28/15 - @Nutmeg8484

07/28/15 - @sorellam30

08/04/15 - @carrieharry79

08/04/15 - @RunCC37

08/06/15 - @alpCRNA

08/06/15 - @Shelbeans82

08/15/15 - @DSculley1824

08/20/15 - @MeatandBandP

08/24/15 - @luna0803

08/26/15 - @katers79 (twins)

PAIF Angels:

amylev80

CarSaidYes (little Ryan, gone too soon)

missmarypoppins

RunCC37 (vanishing twin)

Graduates:

@Cutiecruz327 - Welcome, baby Manny, b. 10/22/14

@lincoln79 - Welcome, baby William Ryan, b. 10/29/14

@ekc0630 - Welcome, baby Jackson Thomas, b. 10/31/14

@rox825 - Welcome, baby Joseph Thomas, b. 11/13/14

@Ashris13 - Welcome, baby Elizabeth (Ellie) Victoria, b. 11/23/14

@heleng5 - Welcome, baby Annabelle Jade, b. 12/10/14

@CandaceC1020 - Welcome, baby Alaina Grace, b. 12/23/14

@MKateG - Welcome, babies Karlee Astor & Cason Thomas, b. 12/30/14

@SaintElizabeth - Welcome, baby Adeline Marguerite b. 01/06/15

@SouthernYankeeGirl - Welcome, baby Ryan, b. 01/10/15

AMShark

With all of the crazy/disturbing/disappointing wackiness that was happening on TB yesterday, I completely forgot to start canvassing for FTM questions for this thread.  So, we're gonna go back to the old way of doing it this week, and I'm asking FTM's to contribute their questions directly into this thread.

Here's my question:
I've been reading articles on the pro's and con's of cord blood registry.  Have any BTDT mom's done this, or wish they had?  Any opinions on whether it's worth the cost?

QOTW:  It's summer, I'm in my backyard, and I'm gardening.  When I'm done, I'm lounging on the awesome back patio that DH and his brothers built, and eating fresh tomatoes, string beans, cucumbers and peppers, and they taste a million times better than the sad, supermarket produce of winter.

alpCRNA

@AMShark thanks for asking about cord blood banking.  I was wondering the same thing.

For the BTDT moms, what do you think about video monitors?  Are they worth the extra money?  Or should we just get an audio monitor?

QOTW:  We are planning to hit the yard sales this spring/summer.  Hopefully, we can find some deals on baby items.  We also tend to have frequent cookouts with corn hole games.  When I'm alone I like to sit on the deck and read.

weansworld09

Oh gee, I had no idea that sunscreen was a no go until 6 months.. I feel like I'm constantly reminded how little I really know haha

BTDT moms: I've been making freezer meals the past 2 Sundays. I'm looking for any suggestions on breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks etc. So far I've made chicken enchiladas, meatballs, taquitos, 2 different pasta bakes, breaded chicken tenders & breasts, hot pockets, stir fry, and breakfast sandwiches.

QOTW: Going for an early morning run, then hanging out and grilling with DH on the deck and enjoying a delicious bottle of wine or a fun mixed drink. The dogs love to beach themselves on the warm deck.

hugmonkey

Regarding cord blood.  The hospital I delivered at discouraged private cord blood banking as it is often generally useless for your own child.  In some countries, it is even illegal to privately bank cord blood.  If your child has siblings, however, your baby's cord blood may be of some use.  Instead, the hospital I delivered at encouraged cord blood donation to public cord blood banks. 

southernyankeegirl

Shit, I can answer as a BTDT Mom for some of it now!

@AMShark‌ - I did research on that, and it seems cord banking can be useful for siblings, not very often for the baby whose blood is banked. The idea being there's a 1/4 chance siblings are a match, which is way better than anyone else (including parents). However, if a child goes on to have a condition that could be treated with cord blood, chances are the condition was present in their cord blood in trace amounts so it isn't effective. So unless you know of a specific reason in family medical history to collect cord blood, it's usually better to either do delayed cord clamping (which allows all that cord blood to pump into baby before the cord is clamped) or cord blood donation (free, and a very generous thing to do to other families who may need it). Chances are if your children needed cord blood, it would be an anonymous donor and not the banked blood that would be needed anyway.

Even as someone with a family issue that could benefit from cord blood, it still wasn't worth the cost to me. We did delayed cord clamping.

@katemonster1‌ - I am only 6 days from birth, and I never did Kegels during pregnancy, and I have had zero incontinence issues. It isn't a guaranteed thing! And other pelvic floor exercises (like pelvic tilts) are often overlooked for just Kegels. I did a ton of those (2x per day sometimes) due to hip issues.

@weansworld09‌ - we liked meals we could turn into freezer meals. So for one, we baked a chicken for dinner and used the carcass to make chicken minestrone soup. We bought freezer quart containers for soup on Amazon for cheap. We also made meatballs, Italian sausage, lasagna, veggie chicken stirfry (I put the chicken in the marinade in a bag within the bag of veggies so i can cook the chicken first). We don't have a lot of freezer breakfasts, but I'd suggest whole grain zucchini bread and the sort. I just chow down on eggs and English muffins with peanut butter at the moment!

turquoisequeen

I don't have a question this week but want to know answers to all the others asked!

QOTW: I love being outdoors in the summer hanging out by the pool or lake and grilling with friends. Def interested in what to do when outside in lieu of sunscreen for baby.. I mean I know they can wear a hat but any other advice or ideas would be great!

luvboston

Cord blood- did a ton of research it's a waste of money because there is basically no chance your baby would be able to use it themselves and their possible sibling might. Out of 5000 cases at one bank only 1 was able to use it. Public banking I strongly believe in you can save someone's life. However you have to have an ideal pg and no issues for them to be able to retrieve it.

kegels- I try to do them several times a day and after delivery 6-8 weeks I go to women's pt for pelvic floor.

Summer babies- we have a sun canopy thing so when you go to the park or anywhere you can use it, a sun hat and those SPF clothes. Also our stroller has a long hood so I never worried about her.

Video monitors- I can't stand when they don't work or are out of focus so we just got a high quality audio monitor and have never had an issue. My LO is very vocal so if she's awake she's screaming and if she ever needed us she also shrieked so I never worried. Also I have found video monitors break much faster. Also I sometimes think that things can look ok on camera but something can still be wrong and it gives you a false sense of security.

BabyKsMommy

Cord blood banking- I looked into it for DS but decided it wasn't for us. If you are interested I would make sure they do it for twins. I did look into delayed cord clamping and my hospital doesn't do it with twins. 

Sun Protection- Just make sure LO is covered, hats, umbrellas, stroller canopy. They also make little tents so you can protect LO from the sun. If you are going to be outside a lot then I would recommend investing in one of those. And for after 6 months I would read up on sunscreen vs, sunblock.

Kegels- never done them and I don't have any issues, during or after pregnancy

Video Monitors- I didn't have one for DS but I really think it would be worth it. I know there were sometimes where I would go in because he was crying but he had gone back to sleep and then I woke him. For the twins I have been looking into getting more of a home surveillance camera and use my phone as a monitor. So far keep the babies with me when they are napping but I know there is a point where Ill put them in a different room and Ill need a monitor.

weansworld09

Thank you @southernyankeegirl‌ I hadn't thought of breads! And I absolutely love banana nut bread, zucchini bread, etc.

pblge

Thanks to all who contribute to this! The question I had for this week (finding a pediatrician) was already addressed in a previous playdate. Still loving reading all the answers.

QOTW: My DH built a new deck in the backyard last year, so my ideal Saturday this summer will be hanging out on it with our new baby. And a cocktail, since it seems like light drinking is okay with bfing now, from what I've read! In a perfect world, perhaps some friends are over and we're eating food from our veggie garden.

Lady2010

Hi All - 

My question this week seems silly but - for washing all the tiny baby clothes/sheets/etc.  The wash instructions say wash on delicate/gentle cycle and tumble dry low.  I did that this weekend when I was doing the first time wash but it definitely takes longer in the dryer and I would think they can go on a normal cycle with medium tumble dry or something - when the laundry for this little one piles up I can't imagine having to dry on low which takes longer.  Thoughts?  (I am using Tide Free & Clear - actually switched to that for our laundry too)

QOTW: what I am looking forward to the most this summer - nice leisurely walk with the baby and DH, maybe a picnic with the baby & DH on the Esplanade in the shade and of course a nice glass (or two!) of wine

Edit - bc apparently these days I hit enter before I finish typing my thought!

Ruthie04

1. Cord Blood Banking: Our hospital was a public bank site, so we were given the option and I said yes. However, I was later told it is unusual to be able to bank from twin deliveries because they just can't get enough. So, not for us. I wouldn't have paid for the service.

2. Kegels: I didn't really do them, but I had a c/s and knew it ahead of time. I never really had bladder issues in pregnancy or after.

3. Video Monitor: I love ours. The boys had reflux in the beginning and would do this scary, seizure looking thing where it looked like they were choking. It was terrifying to watch and I felt so much better knowing I could watch them. Now that they are toddlers, it's nice to see what kind of shenanigans they get up to in their crib so I can decide whether or not I have to go in there immediately (like if they are crawling out of the crib). We have the Motorola one.

Laundry: I usually wash on the "casual" cycle and dry on low (just to prevent shrinking). When they were little, I did laundry everyday. So, it wasn't too overwhelming to do it on low all the time. I think the issue is that all of their stuff is cotton without a lot of mixed materials, so it just shrinks all the time. The woman teaching our baby class told us they use industrial grade detergent at the hospitals and babies rarely react, so special detergents aren't really necessary. But, we'd been using tide free for years, so it wasn't a big deal. We did switch to Shout Free for stains after DS1 had a reaction to regular shout.

AmCheri

Hi ladies

1. Cord blood banking. We didn't do it for reasons stated above and it was definitely not encouraged by our OB.

2. Video monitors. We didn't use ours much in the beginning because she slept in our room and never napped in a room alone. However, as time wore on it became invaluable. Love being able to check in on her. See if she's positioned funny in the crib and needs help. Check to make sure she has blankets on when it's cold.

3. Laundry. We washed on gentle, cold water with a fragrance and dye free detergent. Dried on medium. Never had any problems.

4. Sun protection. Ok, I'll admit I'm a bit of a freak about sun exposure. This is all coming from a pediatric dermatologist. Definitely no SPF until six months. After that, consider Vanicream sunscreen. Baby safe. Lots of products marketed specifically for babies are junk and have all kinds of unnecessary and harsh chemicals in them. Check out other good options at Coolibar. We were told by two pediatricians not to have our June baby outside if the temp was over 68 degrees because babies cannot temperature regulate. So we took early morning and late day walks. I realize many will think this is overkill but if you do your own research, you'll find this recommendation all over. We also purchased UPF sun hats for her. Flap.Happy hats are pretty nice. Keep baby out of the sun if you can. Because baby's skin is thin and delicate, she is more vulnerable to sun damage, so protection is important.

QOTW: We would be at our local botanic gardens. One of our favorite weekend spots.

mdiblasi10

We did bank DS's cord blood and will do it again with this LO. I am a big believer in science and things are changing rapidly these days. I hope to not need that part of science for my children, but it's piece of mind for me.

I had a late July baby and we went outside a lot! Lots of sun hats, umbrellas, sun tents, clothing with SPF protection. We went to the pool and beach a lot since it was so hot.

We do have a video/audio monitor and I like having it, even now when DS moved to a bed in his new room. We also just bought a Drop Cam and really like it. Much nicer than our baby monitor.

We are pretty relaxed about laundry so everything usually ends up with regular settings. Nothing has been ruined yet.

turquoisequeen

@AmCheri‌ thanks for the sunscreen brand recommendation. I try to be really on top of sun protection too.

I doubt it gets 68 degrees or lower even in the evenings or mornings all summer here in NC. Hope that doesn't mean we will be stuck inside all summer

rox825

I didn't do kegels regularly and didn't have bladder issues, but had a c-section so that probably had something to do with it postpartum. Also didn't bank cord blood but if I had I would've done public banking. Yes to the video monitor, I love mine! Freezer meals- I made crockpot ready veggie chili and stew, and for breakfast little cupcake sized crustless quiches and tons of pumpkin muffins. I do most laundry on a regular cycle and dry on medium.

AMShark

I just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful BTDT moms (including newly initiated @Southernyankeegirl) for the sharing their knowledge and experience.

And, I had no idea that cord blood banking is not usually performed on twins.  And considering that my twins will be born at no later than 34 weeks, this is probably a totally moot point for me - and it was my question - ha!  See the things you learn at our play date? 

AmCheri

turquoisequeen said:

@AmCheri‌ thanks for the sunscreen brand recommendation. I try to be really on top of sun protection too. I doubt it gets 68 degrees or lower even in the evenings or mornings all summer here in NC. Hope that doesn't mean we will be stuck inside all summer

I'd suggest avoid being outside from about 10am until 2pm. Seek out shade. Keep baby hydrated (no water!). Keep baby in a well ventilated carrier. If baby's face looks red, she's overheated so get her inside to cool off. Watch for signs of dehydration like dry mouth/lips and not enough wet diapers. We didn't strictly keep to the 68 degree suggestion. But we'd rarely have her outside if it was warmer than the low 80s. If we did, it was for short periods and as soon as we saw redness in her cheeks, we were back inside.

southernyankeegirl

AmCheri said:

turquoisequeen said:

@AmCheri‌ thanks for the sunscreen brand recommendation. I try to be really on top of sun protection too.

I doubt it gets 68 degrees or lower even in the evenings or mornings all summer here in NC. Hope that doesn't mean we will be stuck inside all summer

I'd suggest avoid being outside from about 10am until 2pm. Seek out shade. Keep baby hydrated (no water!). Keep baby in a well ventilated carrier. If baby's face looks red, she's overheated so get her inside to cool off. Watch for signs of dehydration like dry mouth/lips and not enough wet diapers. We didn't strictly keep to the 68 degree suggestion. But we'd rarely have her outside if it was warmer than the low 80s. If we did, it was for short periods and as soon as we saw redness in her cheeks, we were back inside.

What's the age consideration for this? My LO will be about 5 months when it starts getting really hot around here. It rarely if ever drops below 85 degrees in July and August, even at night.

Lady2010

Thanks for all this great information!! I never knew about the 68 degrees. Granted our LO will be 5-6 mos before it gets that warm here but still good to know. One follow-up for the BTDT moms : what is too cold to take your baby (newborn) out in the winter?

We live in Boston and obviously would bundle up the baby, etc. I don't want to be housebound - would love to get the baby (and myself) out for fresh air every day - even if it is just a walk around the block. Any thoughts / suggestions on thresholds? Thank you!!

mdiblasi10

@sunshinedaisies000 We loooove the Drop Cam! We even used it to watch inside our home when we were out of town for a few days. It's great quality, even in the dark. We have the Nest thermostat as well and have been really happy with all our Nest products.

AmCheri

@southernyankeegirl‌, the advice we were given was for a newborn through the first three months or so. I am not sure about this, but I believe that kids cannot temperature regulate until about 24 months. So, while at 5mo+, you can probably go out when it's warmer, I'd still be sure to watch for signs that your baby is overheating. When I see babies out in the heat with red cheeks, it makes me cringe! They don't sweat and cannot cool themselves.

AmCheri

Lady2010 said:

Thanks for all this great information!! I never knew about the 68 degrees. Granted our LO will be 5-6 mos before it gets that warm here but still good to know. One follow-up for the BTDT moms : what is too cold to take your baby (newborn) out in the winter?

We live in Boston and obviously would bundle up the baby, etc. I don't want to be housebound - would love to get the baby (and myself) out for fresh air every day - even if it is just a walk around the block. Any thoughts / suggestions on thresholds? Thank you!!

We live in the Midwest where it gets very cold. Our pedi said that as long as it's not too cold for us, baby can go out too properly bundled. We are having a heat wave today. It's thirty six degrees. I've seen lots of people with their babies out on nice walks.

AMShark

KaraBear4409 said:

We also have the drop cam. I have been happy with it 99% of the time. The 1% that I have have been unhappy with it has been due to issues with our wifi cutting out, so it isn't drop cams fault. However, I was very upset when I woke up and my baby monitor was disconnected (this happened two nights in a row). But, I called their tech support and they fixed the issue. The issue was a setting within our wifi. Their support was awesome, by the way! I love that I can use any if our phones or iPads as the monitors, not just one dedicated monitor. So, overall, as long as you have good internet, I highly recommend the drop cam!

Aye, there's the rub!  Our WiFi is not the best.  I guess this is more motivation to get it straightened out.

Lady2010

@AmCheri‌ - love that mid-30s is heat wave! I feel the same here. I went out earlier and was like - wow - it's nice out (36/37 degrees - 30 w wind chill).

Great to hear that it is ok for baby as long as bundled up.

BabyKsMommy

Ill admit I'm spoiled in Cali. I don't take the babies out unless its sunny and over 60. Otherwise I think its too cold. 

Ecarabeo217

AMShark said:

I just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful BTDT moms (including newly initiated @Southernyankeegirl) for the sharing their knowledge and experience.

And, I had no idea that cord blood banking is not usually performed on twins.  And considering that my twins will be born at no later than 34 weeks, this is probably a totally moot point for me - and it was my question - ha!  See the things you learn at our play date? 

Not really sure where this info is coming from. I collect blood on twins all the time

AMShark

Ecarabeo217 said:

I just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful BTDT moms (including newly initiated @Southernyankeegirl) for the sharing their knowledge and experience.

And, I had no idea that cord blood banking is not usually performed on twins.  And considering that my twins will be born at no later than 34 weeks, this is probably a totally moot point for me - and it was my question - ha!  See the things you learn at our play date? 

Not really sure where this info is coming from. I collect blood on twins all the time

Huh, really?  Good to know.  I wonder why some ladies on this board are getting a different story - maybe its their hospital's policy?

jessimi06

Thanks to all the BTDT moms for the replies!

@AMshark, a lot of companies will do it for twins these days if they reach x amount of weeks (we decided not to do it), but what really sucks is that you can't donate to a public bank since they wont take twins

QOTW-

Ecarabeo217

What sometimes happens with twins (and that's definitely hospital policy in my case) is that if they're very preemie, we MUST do delay cord clamping. Once that happens, collecting for banking is pointless. Could be one explanation

hopeby2015

I just found out this morning that I can't donate the cord blood either ssince we used donor eggs and we don't have the genetic info of both parents .. so keep that in mind too!

Ruthie04

jessimi06 said:

Thanks to all the BTDT moms for the replies!

@AMshark, a lot of companies will do it for twins these days if they reach x amount of weeks (we decided not to do it), but what really sucks is that you can't donate to a public bank since they wont take twins

QOTW-

I was one of the ones who had mentioned the twin cord banking issue. I can't remember who told me it was unusual to collect from twins (those first few days were such a haze...maybe a nurse?). But, we would only have donated to the public bank through our hospital, so maybe that is why we were given that info. They did; however, ask me at delivery, so I just assumed the decision was a case by case basis and we didn't meet the criteria. I delivered at 36w if that makes a difference.