*~*~* FTM & BTDTM play date! 10/17 *~*~*

AMShark

Welcome to the First Time Mothers (FTM) & Been There Done That Mothers (BTDTM) Play Date!

This is a thread for the FTM's in our PAIF community.  Check-ins will be posted every other Thursday.  On alternating Thursdays, I'll post a FT & BTDT moms' "Play Date" thread - in which we inexperienced first timers ask for advice and feedback from the more experienced ladies in our communities.

Here are our FTM's, ordered by EDD:

Third Trimester

10/23/14 - @Cutiecruz327

11/19/14 - @Ashris13 
11/04/14 - @rox825

11/07/14 - @lincoln79

12/13/14 - @CandaceC1020

12/15/14 - @heleng5

12/15/14 - @xc1148

12/30/14 - @Saintelizabeth

Second Trimester

01/13/15 - @southernyankeegirl
01/21/15 - @hopeby2015
01/24/15 - @Lady2010

02/02/15 - @WA1215

02/11/15 - @MissEm15

02/17/15 - @weansworld09

02/22/15 - @BeckyP005

02/22/15 - @runawaylaurel

03/14/15 - @Margritli (twins)

03/21/15 - @KT416

03/23/15 - @poohniki

First Trimester

04/17/15 - @pblge
04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

04/29/15 - @AMShark (twins)

05/01/15 - @LO95

05/02/15 - @gsancho 

05/07/15 - @sugar4bri (twins)

05/16/15 - @Aimothy (twins)

05/16/15 - @sunshinedaisies000

05/20/15 - @Lesliem0901

05/21/15 - @holberry5

05/25/15 - @1220winterbride

05/25/15 - @Regan1976

05/25/15 - @yvonne0001
05/26/15 - @HCAMP123

05/26/15 - @viola27
05/29/15 - @kittenmittens9

05/30/15 - @MJ14323

05/31/15 - @IFinTN

05/31/15 - @sweetpotato123 (twins)

06/03/15 - @CarSaidYes

06/03/15 - @turquoisequeen

06/04/15 - @wendyful

06/06/15 - @Andy99

06/11/15 - @hbanana18

06/12/15 - @PurpleDaisy923 (twins)

06/15/15 - @jessimi06

PAIF Angels:

missmarypoppins

QOTW:  Nostalgia time - What is something that you miss from childhood?

** Play Date Note** -  Hey, expectant FTM's - What do you want to know from someone who's already been through it?  Now's your chance to ask questions!

Please respect our BTDT contributors & avoid duplicate questions.  Want to know what was already answered?  Read the Q&A session from 10/02 here!

I can't stop myself - It's still good.  I'm posting the same pic again.

CandaceC1020

QOTW:  Nostalgia time - What is something that you miss from childhood?
No responsibility ... and those awesome fisher price toys with little people!  BTW - I always wanted a little kitchen set and never had one.  I have told my hubby that if our little one wants one then we're getting one for her.

Question for moms - No bullshit, how tough and painful is breastfeeding?  I'm planning on giving it a try, but I keep hearing it's hard, but to give it a try.  I seriously want to know how freaking tough and painful it is.  No fluffy answers please! 

AMShark

As the keeper of this play date, I usually get to go first (yea me!)

BTDT Moms - Did you taking any courses on childbirth or child care?  If so, what do you recommend, and what do you wish you had skipped?

QOTW:  I miss the Sunday funnies.  I know that print newspapers still exist, but I don't buy them.  When I was a kid, my parents had the newspaper delivered daily, and I always looked forward to the color comics on Sunday.  I read every strip - even the ever boring Prince Valiant.

AMShark

I stand corrected.  I was totally beat out by @CandaceC1020!  Your posting fingers are fast, Candace... kudos!   Also - good call on the Fischer Price little people - the old wooden ones were awesome (awesome choking hazards, but still awesome).

CandaceC1020

Sorry @AMShark - I was on and I saw the indicator saying I was tagged in a post.  My fingers are fast and furious!

rox825

Hi everyone!  QOTW- from childhood, I miss Christmases from days when I still believed in Santa.  It was so much fun to come downstairs to find stockings and presents and half-eaten cookies, and I can't wait to experience that with this LO :-)

@AMShark I'm a FTM but did take a childbirth class already so I can answer your question from my haven't-given-birth-yet perspective, I took a standard class at my hospital and I found it to be worth it.  At least 1/2 hour of every class was spent practicing breathing techniques and she offered other ideas for pain relief, and those were the most helpful for me since I'm hoping for a med-free birth.  I hadn't decided yet to try med-free when we enrolled so in hindsight I could've taken a "born free" class instead, but even the standard one was helpful.  I also took an intro to breastfeeding class and that was not helpful, maybe something more in-depth would've been better.

MissEm15

QOTW: I miss being a kid and playing in the streets & the backyards w/ my cousins. We always had so much fun running around and making up games. This was back where people never locked their front doors.

BTDT Question: For winter babies.. did you make your frequent visitors (like grands/sisters/bestfriends) get flu shots when the baby first arrived? My OB rec'd it.. but I feel like they will think I'm crazy lol

 

turquoisequeen

BTDT moms, did any of you use the bellaband post partum? I just ordered one off amazon and it seems like it will be great at least for first tri and part of second tri but if it is also useful after birth then that will justify having one in white AND one in black

QOTW: running around outside and playing on swingsets. @CandaceC1020‌ my parents saved our fisher price little people sets which I'm super pumped about. We had the plastic kind.

hopeby2015

QOTW: I miss how free I felt as a child. Guess u don't know how great something is until it's gone.

BTDT Moms: Anyone use cloth diapers? I wanna go the CD way but I feel like I might be trying to take on to much. Is it alotta work? Did anyone switch from CD to disposables, or in reverse? What do you recommend?

mdiblasi10

@CandaceC1020 Breastfeeding.... is different for everyone! Because of that, my biggest piece of advice is to keep an open mind so you are prepared for anything. In my opinion, it is very much up to you if you will be successful or not. There is typically a solution to all breastfeeding issues and a good LC can help you. I was absolutely determined to breastfeed so that helped me push through the tough parts. 

It was VERY hard and painful in the beginning for me, but my husband and Mom were rooting me on big time. I wanted to give up several times. My nipples hurt, my baby didn't gain all the weight they wanted him to at first and I got very frustrated. But when you ask me today about breastfeeding, I will tell you that I loved it and it was the most amazing experience because most of it was. I also talked to a LC any time I had a question or was concerned - they were so helpful to me and gave me lots of ideas when I wasn't sure what to do. For example, when I was engorged and in pain as my milk came in, my LC had me use cold cabbage leaves on my breasts and pump between feedings, and within a day or two I felt much better. I won't go into every detail and tip or trick I learned because everyone has different hurdles when breastfeeding; it may be baby's latch, it may be nipple soreness, it may be baby's weight gain, etc. My advice is to talk to the experts to get through those tough parts, if that's your desire If you decide it's not for you, at least you gave it a try! Whatever the outcome, as long as your baby is fed, you are doing a great job. 

@AMShark DH and I took a breastfeeding class and a birth class at our hospital. I would say "eh" to both. I found my LC to be more helpful once baby was born for breastfeeding issues. I also ended up with an emergency c-section so the birth class didn't really help in my case We didn't do a newborn care class.

mdiblasi10

@MissEm15 My close family and friends typically get the flu shot every year, so we were okay there. But what I did ask of close family that would be visiting frequently was to get their t-dap shot. Pertussis is scary and there were a lot of cases popping up when DS was born. No one thought we were crazy and they all got it

@turquoisequeen I didn't like my bellaband. However, my hospital gave me a wrap that was very similar to a Belly Bandit and I lived in it for a while. I had a c-section and without my band on, it felt like my insides were falling out (sorry, that sounds awful) It was a lifesaver for me. I would only take it off for showers. 

I did not try cloth diapering.

TJ1979

CandaceC1020 said:

Question for moms - No bullshit, how tough and painful is breastfeeding?  I'm planning on giving it a try, but I keep hearing it's hard, but to give it a try.  I seriously want to know how freaking tough and painful it is.  No fluffy answers please! 

This is going to differ for every person and every baby.  With my first, it was sooooo hard, and soooo painful.  I had every issue under the sun (except thankfully mastitis.)  I had super low supply, terrible latch, cracked and bleeding nipples, months long episodes of thrush, you name it.  BUT... I joined the BFing board here.  I joined a BFing support group at my local hospital.  I read KellyMom top to bottom.  I took supplements and drank teas and ate oatmeal.  I kept at it, and at it, and at it.  And then suddenly, at 6 weeks, we found laid back nursing, E fixed her latch, my nipples healed, my supply improved, and we went on to BF until I was 5 months pregnant with #2.  Then I was terrified to go through it again.  But guess what?  P had an awesome latch, my supply was incredible, I haven't had a single crack or drop of blood.  Long story short... if it hurts really badly, get help!  Find an IBCLC, get online, get informed.

AMShark said:

BTDT Moms - Did you taking any courses on childbirth or child care?  If so, what do you recommend, and what do you wish you had skipped?

I took the regular childbirth class offered at my hospital for #1.  They also briefly went over how to change a diaper, bathe, and dress a baby, as well as guidelines for when to call the ped or go to the ER.  It was all that I needed.  It offered a tour of the hospital, so that helped knowing where to go and what to do when the time came.  We also took an infant CPR and choking class.  Even being CPR certified, it made me feel better to take.  I took nothing for my 2nd baby.  Both of my births were natural, med free, and amazing.  If anyone has any natural birth questions, feel free to PM me. 

MissEm15 said:

QOTW: I miss being a kid and playing in the streets & the backyards w/ my cousins. We always had so much fun running around and making up games. This was back where people never locked their front doors.

BTDT Question: For winter babies.. did you make your frequent visitors (like grands/sisters/bestfriends) get flu shots when the baby first arrived? My OB rec'd it.. but I feel like they will think I'm crazy lol

I didn't have winter babies, but if I had, I would have requested it.  I did make frequent visitors or anyone that stayed with us for a week or whatever get the whooping cough vaccine.  I don't know what I would have done though if anyone refused it.  I probably would have flipped with my first, but was more laid back with my 2nd and would have only flipped if someone was sick.

Robeano

Ah breastfeeding, there are many factors that can make it more painful. I had flat nipples, which meant it was more painful for me for a few months until basically all the sucking "broke" the connection that never did in puberty. And it was only painful for the first few minutes. Now when I started out, I won't lie your nipples get kinda raw for like a week. I suggest nipple cream or just use breast milk to sooth them. But otherwise it was unpainful and a wonderful bonding experience. In my experience and from also talking to a LC the majority if women who really want to breastfeed will. It just might take some work. It wasn't until DD was 3 weeks old that I finally got her tounge tie released and she actually latched both sides. 

I cloth diaper. I like it cuz it's cheaper. I found it easier under a year. DD is 21 months and pees so much it's getting annoying. But man did we save money! And a part of me feels better about being Eco friendly.

No flu shot. I made sure kids had clean hands. And made sure my mom and hubby were up to date on their vaccines. (Namely whooping cough)

Saintelizabeth

STMs: what diaper brand was your personal preference and why?

QOTW: I LOVED playing with dolls when I was a kid. Barbie houses with all the small detailed items like silverware, food for the fridge and little knick knacks in the rooms was so much fun for me. I would freak out if I misplaced any of this stuff!

TJ1979

turquoisequeen said:

BTDT moms, did any of you use the bellaband post partum? I just ordered one off amazon and it seems like it will be great at least for first tri and part of second tri but if it is also useful after birth then that will justify having one in white AND one in black QOTW: running around outside and playing on swingsets. @CandaceC1020‌ my parents saved our fisher price little people sets which I'm super pumped about. We had the plastic kind.

Hit post too soon, sorry.  I did use it some.  Honestly, it felt good to have something help hold in my stomach.  And, well, some of all of my clothes still don't fit.  Just remember that your non-maternity shirts won't be as long as your maternity shirts, so you don't want the bella band hanging out.  Also, do use the yoga band fold of the bella band!

hopeby2015 said:

QOTW: I miss how free I felt as a child. Guess u don't know how great something is until it's gone. BTDT Moms: Anyone use cloth diapers? I wanna go the CD way but I feel like I might be trying to take on to much. Is it alotta work? Did anyone switch from CD to disposables, or in reverse? What do you recommend?

YES!  I use cloth, and I love it!  I used disposables for the newborn stage with my first, and just started cloth when she hit 10 lbs and went straight to one-size diapers.  With my 2nd, I used cloth from the start.  And let me tell you, there were SO many less blowouts with cloth.  Look into a newborn cloth diaper trial.  You can borrow cloth diapers from a retailer for a certain amount of time, and then return them for store credit which you can then use to purchase your full stash.  For newborn I preferred prefolds and fitteds with covers.  For one-size I prefer all-in-ones and Best Bottoms (all-in-2's.)  It will end up being about 3-4 extra loads of laundry per week, but you won't have to worry as much about leaks and blowouts and washing the crib sheets and the swing cover and the bouncy seat cover, and the RNP cover, and all that junk all the time.
Come on over to the CD board (don't post an intro, just start commenting.)  Lurk, read the FAQ, watch cloth diapering 101 on You Tube. 

TJ1979

Ducky719 said:

Was breastfeeding painful?  Not for me but I suspect I am one of the lucky few who had it easy.  I had an over active let down and a sh*t ton of milk so DD did not have to work hard to get what she needed.  I only had one freak out moment where DD could not latch (because I was engorged) and she lost it and then I lost it.  That was the worst because keeping calm while you breastfeed is key.  We ended up offering her some formula first to take the edge off and then we tried again and had success.  As a side note, even if you do plan on breastfeeding, make sure you take the formula supplies they give you in the hospital just in case.  You never know if you will need it or not. 

I disagree with this (much love though Ducky!)  Offering formula when you have breastfeeding issues can be a very slippery slope.  (It can also work out just fine like it did for Ducky.)  But if you have supply issues, formula can really contribute to issues that can eventually lead to breastfeeding not working for you.  If you are determined to breastfeed, just having formula in the house can make it easier to cave.  If I had any formula in my house, I would have quit.  I still remember the very night I would have quit.  It was the height of the 3 week growth spurt, that I knew nothing about.  I thought my baby was starving.  But really she was sending my body cues to up the production since she was getting bigger.  (There's another big growth spurt at 6 weeks.  Be aware.)
Please note that I am not saying formula is the devil, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with formula feeding your baby.  I don't care how you feed your baby, as long as you do.  I'm just saying that if you are adamant about making EBF work, having formula in the house isn't always a great idea.

hopeby2015

@TJ1979‌ - I guess I'll start lurking. I really wanna do CD but everytime I mention it to other people, I seem to get so much negative feedback. Like today, someone at work mentioned "oh wait till you have to deal with diarrhea."

So as a follow-up, is it that much worse to CD when there bowel issues, such as diarrhea?

mdiblasi10

@Saintelizabeth our hospital used Pampers and we continued with those and really like them. I started with the Swaddlers and now use the Cruisers. They fit and no leaks. But then I have friends who used Huggies only and loved them. I guess each person will have a preference depending on how they fit their baby. I also used the night time (extra protection) ones overnight and that helped with leaks. 

Mrs.AmyDylan

Hola everyone! Hope you all are enjoying your baby bellies!

Breastfeeding - we had a difficult time because J had a tongue tie. We had her tongue tie clipped, but she still wasn't latching correctly. It too until about 10-12 w until we finally hit our stride. I had a ton of support from my mom, LC, and birthing center. It was 100% worth the effort and we are still nursing 4x/day at 21mo. I would also attribute BFing with J hardly being sick, even though we are constantly out and about. 

Birthing classes - we did Bradley classes. It was a major commitment 10w of classes. Some of the instructors are a bit loopy (ours was a bit nuts), but it is good information if you want to have a med-free birth. I have no regrets, because it got DH and I on the same page. It also gave me the courage to leave my shitty OB practice in favor of delivering J at our birthing center (which was the most amazing experience of my life!!!). That being said, if med-free isn't your goal, the hospital class is probably fine. I would also suggest a pre-birth breastfeeding class and a baby care class (especially if you or DH haven't really been around babies). 

Cloth diapering - we love it. I bought some bad diapers that were really pushed from the local cloth diaper store. They all delaminated and leak.  I found that KaWaii diapers (theluvyourbaby.com) at $5 each on Black Friday to be amazing and really freaking cheap. I've only ruined three and I think my water was too hot. Our GroVia diapers are good too, they are just pricy. 

Post-partum belly band - I didn't have to go back to work, so I didn't try to fit back into my pants. I just bought some cheap yoga and PJ  pants in XL from Costco. Stay in your PJs as long as possible! It keeps guests from staying too long!

Winter babies & flu shots - nope, just hand washing. I would like to think that sick people would stay away. If you take baby to a busy place like church or a party, wear baby in a carrier and it cuts down on people asking to hold the baby. 

southernyankeegirl

hopeby2015 said:

@TJ1979‌ - I guess I'll start lurking. I really wanna do CD but everytime I mention it to other people, I seem to get so much negative feedback. Like today, someone at work mentioned "oh wait till you have to deal with diarrhea." So as a follow-up, is it that much worse to CD when there bowel issues, such as diarrhea?

I was super anti-CD until I was a nanny for a little girl who used them.  Seriously, it's no big deal. If your baby is EBF, the poop is water soluble, so you don't even have to rinse it before you throw it in the wash.  Once you introduce solids, the poop is generally more solid - we used these inserts that were like dryer sheets between baby and diaper that caught most of the poop.  Pluck and drop in the toilet, flush, voila!  The rest of the diaper can be washed.

Also, CDs are generally harder for baby to get undone.  So a child that likes to take off their diaper (full of poop... been there, done that...) will have a harder time with a CD than a disposable, usually.

That said, I still will be using disposables.  I hate doing laundry, I'm terrible at keeping up with it, and DH pointed out that it's just going to cause stress for both of us to try to tackle something that is going to require more laundry.  But part of me still wishes I could CD, and might give it a try after I get the hang of this "new Mom" gig.

southernyankeegirl

QOTW:  I miss climbing trees.  That shiz was fun!  We used to play giant games of manhunt in the neighborhood, and climbing up trees was always part of the fun.

BTDT Question: What do you appreciate about your pediatrician?  What do you wish was different?

pblge

QOTW: I miss not having to work, especially with a job that I don't leave behind at five PM.

I have no additional questions, as I'm very curious about some of the issues that have been raised (CD, birth classes especially). HUGE thanks to the BDTD moms who participate in this--very helpful!!!!

kittenmittens9

QOTW:  I think what I miss most about childhood was playing outside after school until the street lights came on and we all had to go inside.  I sort of miss the world before cell phones and iPads a little.

My question is in regards to epidurals:  was it painful, how do you make sure you don't move, did you have any bad side effects...I'm kind of terrified after reading a section of a stupid book.  

mdiblasi10

I had a spinal for my emergency c-section and it was easy peasy. I didn't feel any pain. I just remember my body jolting a bit on it's own. It was weird and then it was done so fast.

Robeano

I actually use my family doctor for DD. I love that she makes baby appointments doubles so you don't feel rushed. I also like that she has the nurse practiners actually do the vaccines and all the weights and measutements. So the time spent with the doctor is focused. She listens to all my concerns. They also have an after hours walk in clinic with all the doctors in the practice. And it's generally pretty easy to get in when you need to see her.

Epidurals. Well I had wicked back labour, and I was induced so I had intense contractions with basically no rest. I chose an epidural, honestly when the guy with the huge needle tells you not to move, you don't move. It's amazing what strength you can find when you need it. And I felt nothing afterwards. Now I don't know if the epidural slowef my labour down but it did slow down after that. But it was unbearable. I was so tired, it had been all day and I was like 4cm dialted. I had no ill effects afterwards.

Jenny935

STM here! Here's my variety of answers...

BF: Mine wasn't super painful, but it didn't hit "no big deal" level of uncomfortableness for a few weeks. After a couple weeks it became more routine and I started feeling better and that helped. I took all the BF classes and never made myself a promise of how long I'd go. Kudos to those who set a goal and do anything and everything in their power to reach it, but I feel differently. While baby's health is important and I believe the research showing there are benefits, I think my mental health plays a role in my baby's health too. Once DS started showing the milk/soy allergy big time (it was awful) and I was eating 4 foods, barely sleeping, had a screaming child, and DH had to go back to work - we switched him to the hypoallergenic formula and never looked back. But I know that some people feel totally different - their mental health is better knowing they're BF. I did have formula in the house because some came in the mail, but I didn't use that. I don't have a goal for this baby...I will start to BF and see how it plays out. 

Classes: We took baby care (which in retrospect was a little silly, but I felt better at the time!), baby CPR (which I remember very little of 2 years later), and the childbirth class. We did the weekend childbirth class, all day 2 days in a row and I thought it was helpful, especially since we went to the one at the hospital where I delivered, so it was nice to get the tour and hear from an actual nurse on the ward. The 1st day they talked about labor stages in general, and how to survive a natural birth - kind of setting it up to make you feel like you could totally do it. The 2nd day they talked about epidurals and csections and made them both sound a little scary. She then admitted they have like 80% of moms that wish for natural births and 98% of them wind up with an epidural. But I liked knowing about what would happen all around since you never know what life will hand you!

Epidurals: I don't even remember the prick. I was begging for it by the end. I do remember asking if I could push the button for a boost right before he took it out, because I was scared of them taking off the tape. Overall I didn't have any problems.

Ped: Ours is a practice of 4 or 5 docs, we are assigned one but see others for "that day" sick visits. I've liked all of them. Ours is very pragmatic & logical & not a worrier, but will tell us to see outside help if he thinks it's necessary. He's been on top of DS's GI and speech issues. Saturday morning and weekday evening hours are a plus as well.

CD: I don't CD, but my BFF does. It's a lot of extra laundry, but that's more passive than active so it doesn't really phase her much. She does keep disposables on hand for times when her kid has a rash and needs the better cream that the CDs can't handle and that kind of thing. 

Good luck everyone! Keep in mind that no parenting books can answer all the questions and you'll figure out what works for you sooner than it feels.

kmc84

@CandaceC1020‌
I know I'm not 'the norm' but I kid you not, I had NO issues with bfing. I had NO pain, no cracking, no bleeding, no biting. I did get mastitis at 3 weeks despite no open areas, but mastitis is a bitch and seems to pick and choose who it shows up in.

I did use lanolin on my nips after each bfing session for a while, but only as a preventative measure.

The biggest key is to get a good latch from the first boob session and every time you nurse. Go to breastfeeding classes, read up on kellymom.com, stalk the bfing board here. You'll pick up a lot more than you realize. See a LC in the hospital ASAP, even if you don't think you need help and have them see you every day you are in the hospital, even if you think you don't need them.

Good luck!

kmc84

@AMShark‌
I took a breastfeeding class that was very helpful!

We signed up for a day long marathon birth class, but dd was actually born at 3:30 in the morning the day of my labor and birth experience was just fine and I don't think the class would have helped or hurt anything at that point

Robeano

I second Kellymom! So much good info!

kmc84

Sorry for so many posts!

Flu shots: no. We limited visitors, anyone who knew was sick, had been sick, or was around anyone sick was not allowed to visit. Everyone had to wash hands as soon as they came in the house.

Cloth diapers: we switched from sposies to cloth at 14 months. I so wished we had done it sooner! We had big rash issues with sposies, and that had all gone away since we switched! They hardly ever leak, cheaper in the long run, and super cute! Hang out and read the posts on the cloth diapering board. This LO will be in cd from the start

More on breastfeeding: I'm going to disagree with ducky here (sorry ducky!) and say do not keep formula in your house if you really want to breastfeed. I think it's too tempting to give up on a hard day if you have formula sitting in front of you. The best advice I have seen on the breastfeeding board is 'never give up on a hard day. If you want to quit on a good day, that's fine, but don't quit on a bad bfing day'

Pediatrician: I LOVE my peds office! They have someone on call 24/7, same day emergency appointments, you can always call and talk to a nurse, their satellite office has emergency Saturday appointments, they were flexible on immunization schedules (timing, not omitting), and all the docs are sweet with the kids

Epidural: I waited as long as I could and when I couldn't take it anymore, I got one! The first poke is to numb the space of insertion, so that's all you feel. It felt like a sharp stink/pinch and only lasted 2 seconds. Once it's numb, you don't feel the actual catheter being placed. As for not moving, the nurse that you lean on will keep you focused. They help your breathing and will physically help brace you. It's over pretty quick, so you shouldn't have any issue.

jmorta04

Advice on BF from someone who FF...

I was adamant about BF. I took the classes, read everything under the sun, and was fully committed. And then L arrived and I had zero supply. Not just like a low supply. I mean a nonexistent supply even with the tea and the cookies and prescription meds and pumping 8x a day after feedings. I had a great LC and all the support of family and H, but it wasn't going to "fix" my sucky boobs!

So my advice is to stick with it, try everything you can if you are committed to doing it, but admit defeat if it is not working (this is something I still feel guilty about almost 18 months later!).

Classes: I took the full day birth class, did the hospital tour and the BF class.

Epidural: I did a med free birth but I did have a spinal tap several years ago. It is different than an epidural but it was a pretty miserable experience that ended up with leaking spinal fluid and a massive migraine (which was the whole reason for the spinal in the first place!).

Pedi: I love our practice. They do emergency appts on the weekends and the nurses will always call back within the hour.

mrs.willie

Classes - We did a one day class. I guess I liked that it went over what to expect when going into labor, what would happen at the hospital and a tour of L&D.

Flu shots - I just made sure people who would be around DS often had their DTaP and people would say if they were sick and stay away.

Bella band - I used mine w/ DS for late 1st tri to mid-2nd tri. I haven't (or I guess didn't) used it this time around.

Diaper brands - I had Pampers in the hospital and already had them at home. I loved the Swaddlers when DS was little. Once he got bigger (maybe just before one), I switched to the Baby Dry and love those. Work great at night too. I did try Huggies once when he was sick and in the hospital. I felt like that fit leaked and asked for Pampers.

Epidural - I honestly can't remember how painful it was. I'm a little bit better with needles, but was more terrified when I had DS. I didn't even want to see what the needle looked like, but like one PP said they tell you not to move and at that point you're NOT going to move because you don't want it to go in wrong or have to do it again. Felt great after it! No side effects here.

Pedi - DS' dr is a family dr where I also go. I see her now too. I figured I'd start him out there and if I had any issues, I'd switch him to a pedi office. I love, love, love this dr. She is awesome with him. He LOVES going to the dr and loves her too. He gives her hugs and everything. She is awesome with him and absolutely loves him too. She's called on multiple occasions (including after hours) to check up on him when he's been sick and is genuinely concerned. She makes sure I have as much time as I need at his appointments without rushing and thoroughly answers my questions. I also like that the practice is open late M-Th evening and Saturday morning. She's not there then, but I can usually get him in to see another one of the other dr's who sees babies. They all don't, but there's always at least one there who does.

Edited for spacing, but it's not spacing between paragraphs. Grrrrrrr!!!

FishyMom

Hello ladies! So my question is.. Is there anything you STMs would recommend doing to pamper or do for yourself in the weeks leading up to birth?

kmc84

@Ashris13‌ pedicure, pedicure, pedicure! And a good massage! I'm not talking spa day massage, I'm talking find someone who is really qualified and has a focus on women/prenatal care.

This may not be 'pampering' per say, but I highly recommend cooking some freezer meals. Sure, people bring food, but then that stops and you still have a newborn it was so helpful to have stuff I (or DH) could pull out of the freezer and throw in the oven. I started cooking at 36 weeks and my water broke the morning of 36+3....I'm starting my cooking earlier this time!

Robeano

kmc84 said:

@Ashris13‌ pedicure, pedicure, pedicure! And a good massage! I'm not talking spa day massage,

This was literally the first thing that popped into my head after reading your question. Your feet can get pretty rough during the end, especially when you can't reach them very well. A pedicure is heaven!

ALSO I strongly recommend you get a massage, I went for one about a month before my due date and it was amazing! They have these special pregnancy pillows that you can lie on. I mean being able to lie on your tummy was almost worth the expense right there. But it was so relaxing and felt amazing. And if you are having any back problems or hip problems it feels amazing to have somebody work on them. So worth the money. BUT make sure they are a quality place that can handle a pregnancy massage.

runawaylaurel

I don't have any questions right now, but thank you to all the BTDT moms! Your advice is amazing. 

formerwigirl

Hope you guys don't mind if I chime in. I am a fairly new mom (DS is only 4 weeks old), but wanted to chime in.

Breastfeeding-I knew going into it that I would have issues. I have inverted nipples so I researched as much as I could beforehand. When they put DS on my chest after delivery I explained about my nipples and they gave me a shield. While in the hospital I had no problems when I used the shield. Then I came home from the hospital and everything changed. DS was clusterfeeding for 2 nights and I was exhausted. (I need to also add that prior to getting pregnant I was dealing with depression and went off them when I was pregnant. I then started back on them at 38 weeks.) When we saw the pediatrician he explained that DS wasn't getting enough food and we needed to supplement. DS was born at only 6lbs and was down to 5lbs 6oz within 5 days. Even though some say this is normal, my doctor was concerned. So we started supplementing and I saw a LC at my hospital. I need to add that I was really engorged so that didn't help things at all. It seemed like everything would get better but I needed to pump along with BF. By week 2, I was done. The depression and lack of sleep was getting the best of me. (Plus there was another issue with my dog who got bit by another dog, which if it had happened at any other time would have been hard to deal with by itself) We saw the pediatrician again and when I explained about the depression his recommendation was to switch to FF. DH and I discussed it and I struggled with not being able to BF. I'm still mourning it, but knowing that DS is getting his belly full is what mattered to me in the end. It didn't help that my MIL was here and she wasn't the most supportive and my mom didn't come until I was at the point where I stopped. We have no family nearby so I would say I didn't have the support I needed. I think if we are able to have more children in the future (so not ready for that yet), I would try to BF again. Sorry for my novel.

Courses-I took a childbirth and childcare class at my hospital. I thought both were informative and one included a tour of the hospital so that was wonderful.

Winter Babies/Flu Shot-I haven't had mine yet but I would like to get mine. I haven't had too many people around DS but if they are I just make sure they aren't sick and they use hand sanitizer. My pediatrician explained as long as we keep him in his own environment and don't let just anyone hold him then he should be fine. We are actually flying up to see family before he gets his shots so I intend to make sure if anyone is sick then they don't come to see us, just as a precaution.

Bellaband- I never got one. Then again (don't flame me please) I was underweight prior to getting my BFP. By 2 weeks PP I was back in my regular clothing. My belly is not quite as firm but I am about 10lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Since I was underweight before, I would be fine if I stayed where I am at.

Cloth Diapers-We use disposables, so I can't help there.

Pediatrician-I love that he is willing to make house calls and offer after hours appointments. He was recommended by our neighbors and has done both of those for them. He has 4 kids of his own too so I trust what he says.

Epidural-I highly recommend! The night I went into labor I felt like my body was being ripped apart. I've heard you forget the pain, but I can still remember it. When they admitted me, the nurse asked if I wanted it right away because she saw how much pain I was in. I remember being asked to push my back out and try to stay still. There was a slight burn but after that I felt fine. It took about 15-20 minutes to really make all the pain go away, but it was soo worth it. Again I highly recommend, even though I give credit to those who go without it.

Pampering yourself-I did go for a pedicure at 36 weeks which felt amazing. I wish I had gone for a massage, but never did.

TJ1979

hopeby2015 said:

@TJ1979‌ - I guess I'll start lurking. I really wanna do CD but everytime I mention it to other people, I seem to get so much negative feedback. Like today, someone at work mentioned "oh wait till you have to deal with diarrhea." So as a follow-up, is it that much worse to CD when there bowel issues, such as diarrhea?

@hopeby2015 Actually I find diarrhea to be much easier in cloth, because you don't have all the blowouts.  The fact is just that cloth diapers leak less than disposables.
And I don't find 3 loads of laundry a week to be a ton of extra laundry.  I was doing more extra loads of laundry per week to deal with poop blowouts and pee leaks using disposables than my 3 loads a week with cloth diapers.  And really, it's like 10 minutes of active time to do the laundry. 

CarSaidYes

Hey ladies. I have a question. I'm already plus size 20-22 and today at work my jeans that are usually my laid back comfy jeans are so tight. I had to unbutton them. I'm only 7w2d. I know this is probably just the bloat but does it go away? Or is this is from here on out? Also, I have this fear that I will not ever show or grow a bump? Any plus size moms out there that were able to show a bump? Granted we all carry the weight differently.

QOTW: what I miss most of all if not having any worries other than my school work.

hopeby2015

@CarSaidYes‌ - I was pretty much the same size as you pre-pg and yup, that was pretty much it for me! I'm also tall so if you're tall and can find great maternity jeans - please let me know! I bought 2 pairs from destination Maternity in the 3x size b.c I wanted them to be big and comfy in case I got larger but they are a bit short. As for showing, it was a slow start but at 26 weeks I do look pg. And depending on what I wear, it's very obvious. So there's hope!

FishyMom

So I have another question.. I need to do my clean up shopping and am wondering if I need to buy mattress covers? My mattress seems pretty water resistant as it is. Second I'm wondering how many crib sheets do we need?

Also do you know anything about humidifiers? Do I need one? Do I need one with a medicine cup?

Last thing, is there anything you would suggest I buy that you did not think of and needed as soon as you got home?