I'm sorry in advance that this is turning out to be rather long-winded, but my momma gut is telling me that something more is going on and I could really use some feedback. My son, now 3yrs. 2mos, was born at 30 weeks. We followed an early intervention tracking program from 18 months to 3 years. He never fully qualified for services because he fell just outside of the "require services" qualifications even though he was delayed in a number of areas. I questioned our pedi at my son's 2 year appt and after I filled out a questionnaire our pedi did a "quick eval once over" and concluded he was not autistic--though DS1 screamed and cried through the entire 3 minute evaluation of trying to get DS1 to give him a hug--which he eventually did.
Fast forward a year later, and my husband and I are noticing more little quirks and when you add them all together, things just seem off. My husband is a teacher and I was a teacher before staying at home, so I'm not totally unfamiliar with autistic children--but I've obviously never had to diagnose one or go through the process with a younger than school age kiddo. Things we have noticed increasing:
Needs to be rubbing something most of the time---especially when drinking/eating. His hands are usually in his shirt or his pants. (ugh! this one drives me crazy!)
repeats himself. ex) "mommy go in the car soon?", when I answer no, he will repeat "not go in the car yet" 5-6 times and it usually leads to running away crying. This happens numerous times throughout the day in many different conversations
He seems to "get stuck" in phrases or noises
Recently, in Sunday School (a class of 8 kids) he has started having meltdowns specifically during "craft" time at the table. He will either run around the room crying or just sit at the table crying until I remove him from the classroom. I haven't found another way to calm him down except remove him from the situation.
Transitions or going into a building or house (grandparent's homes included which we frequent often) he will either refuse to go in by falling onto the ground or fall onto the ground as soon as we get inside.
He gets VERY upset when DS2 (1 year) comes near the trains he is playing with. I thought for awhile he just needed time to adjust to having a sibling around.
Eye contact exists, but it's minimal.
He cannot follow a pointed direction--ex) while pointing, "look your train is right next to the toy box"
I want to be able to help him with whatever is going on…I just don't know the best way to do it. Any suggestions, any at all are greatly greatly appreciated. I'm feeling a little lost at the moment with what to do next. Thanks everyone! I've read through some of the posts and FAQ boards so I know you all are super helpful.