Grieving: Telling my story for the last time.

tcann320

I started spotting light pink two weeks ago. Went to the er and had my 1st ultrasound there. It showed I was 5 1/2 weeks. Next week I had my first Dr appt. He saw a fibroid, but said it was ok. I was hoping my baby was growing because the dates were off. He scheduled another ultrasound for heartbeat which was today. My baby did grow and tried to make it for me to hear her heatbeat, but I miscarried yesterday. The night before I had terrible pains jn my leg and back. I wish I would have went to the er, but the nurse said as long as I wasn't bleeding through a pad I was ok. I will now live wondering if I could have done something different. I had two normal pregnancies prior to this one, so I never though I'd miscarry. I am haunted by the fact that I saw her little life form when it passed. This morning I passed more blood clots and one the size of a golf ball. I still have my scheduled ultrasound today. Where as I had hope. There is no hopes of seeing baby today. Her name was Talia if a girl. Me and my husband wanted a girl. I haven't managed to stop crying yet. Thank you for listening.

tcann320

Thank you @ mistabinx

laxdixdar

I am so sorry for your loss . As PP said there wasn't nothing you could of done as bad as that hurts. T&P's for you.

staylucky

I'm so sorry for your loss. At one of my appointments, my doctor said no matter what, just always remember that I did not do anything to cause my miscarriage and to not torture myself thinking about all the little things that could have been an issue. Sending T&P your way. *hug*

cherish1986

Sorry for your loss. Like PP have said, it's not your fault.
Praying for you

tcann320

Thank you ladies..It's hard to think of what if's. Yesterday was beyond difficult. I think I've felt every emotion imaginable. My appt to hear and see my baby was yesterday and I still had to go to talk to the doctor. There were so many pregnant women and babies. I just started crying and thinking why them and not me. Why my baby couldn't be born too.

Nikolie93

I am sorry for your loss and as others have said, try not to dwell on the why. You did nothing wrong, unfortunately it happens way too often. 

Your emotions right now are normal as well. I also cried the first trip back to my Dr when I saw all of the pregnant ladies. 

Be kind to yourself *hug*

bumpuser10605721

Im so sorry for your loss. It absolutely was NOT your fault.

tcann320

Thank you