Order of Events (specifically gift opening) at the Baby Shower

rebandy7412

Hey everyone, I have been considering a different order of events for my baby shower and would like some opinions. I have been to only a few baby showers, and for the most part I have thought that the opening presents seems pretty uncomfortable for the mom-to-be, and I keep thinking there must be a better way.

So, my thought is this: Open gifts as people arrive, that way each person gets to see you open her gift, but people aren't just sitting waiting for it to end.

Here's how I am imagining it would work. I would let people know ahead of time (in the invitation probably) that they can expect to find me at a gift opening table when they arrive. Then they can hang out by me and chat while I open their gift and then proceed to tell them how much I love it. This way, it's more personal too and I'm not searching for their face in a crowd to shout "Thanks so much for the nipple cream!" And then if they want to watch other gifts be opened, they're welcome to, or they can just move on. So, there might be a little bit of a line as people get there at the same time, but if someone doesn't really care if they watch me open it, they can just mingle instead. Or make a onesie I am also hoping to have a onesie decorating station, so that could be a filler for people who don't want to wait in line. Then after most people have arrived, the shower would proceed as normal (games, food, etc.) only I could go back and talk to people about their gifts more if I want to, and people wouldn't feel like they NEED to stay till the end to see their gift opened.

Please let me know your thoughts. If you were to receive an invitation that described this would you feel weird? Or would you be uncomfortable with this set up? To me, it makes sense, but I haven't found anything like it on other forums, just stuff on not opening gifts at all, which I don't think is for me. My family will definitely want me to open their gifts.

rebandy7412

wow, okay. Well thanks for the feedback..? I am not planning the shower, my mom is. She is very busy, and I offered to help, so I was just trying to come up with ideas to make the shower as enjoyable as possible for everyone.

Thank god I don't have terrible people like you (Idani) coming.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

VOR

Yeah - I don't like this.  If I got an invitation saying this was what was going to happen, it would make me feel like the MTBs main focus is the GIFTS.  And yes, like it's a price of admission. 

And really- people aren't going to wait in line.  They see a person or two ahead of them?  They are going to pass by and then probably end up NOT seeing their gift opened.  Or later on, you'll have people coming up to you and wanting to pull you away from the party in order to open their gift. 

While the gift opening is uncomfortable for the MTB, it allows the guests to all sit around, chit chat, watch you, and simply enjoy themselves.  If you're really THAT uncomfortable with the gift opening, then decline the shower.

Look- I'll throw you a bone.  I know you're trying to make this more personal and one on one.  But that's not how it will really work.  it will feel like a cattle call to give you a gift. 

TheAerialist

Sorry OP, it's done the way it's done because it's the way that works. There is no reason to think of a 'new' way, because I would think that by now that we, as a society, have tried lots of ways and have found this is what works.

The best way is to feed everyone some food so they aren't hungry and can socialize, then serve cake in order to distract people while you spend what feels like 100 years opening gifts.  I played a baby gift bingo game at a recent baby shower that was actually pretty fun/distracting while the mom to be opened gifts.  But some people hate games... you can't win them all.  Your host should do what she thinks is fun.

Also, this allows people to duck out when no one is looking if they just can't even deal.

VOR

I'm going to add- with a normal gift opening, it really doesn't (or shouldn't) take TOO long. You get the gift, you open it, you show it to everyone, you thank the giver and then you move on. Really - on average, it should take less than a minute per person. 30 people = 30 minutes. Roughly. What you're proposing? It's going to take more time. You're talking about "chatting" w/ each person, and this will probalby make the gift opening longer, then you talk to them about the gift.... etc. Even if it were ONLY 2 minutes, well, you've moved the gift opening to taking an hour now. And most likely longer. And this is a time period where people are either waiting in line to get their 2, 3 ,4 minutes with you or their off socializing w/ each other while you - the guest of honor - is off doing her gift opening. It's awkward.

magsame

No...just No...

dufferoo

By trying to change the paradigm, you are putting way too much emphasis on the gifts. Yeah, it's a shower and you know everyone will be bringing you gifts, but it gets a little gauche when you're all business-like and explainy about it. Look, if you're having a small shower and you want to open gifts as people arrive, and it's somehow gonna be all gracious and flowy and organic, then I'd say go for it, but unfortunately, I think we all know that what you described will be none of the above.

ombradellarosa

rebandy7412 said:

wow, okay. Well thanks for the feedback..? I am not planning the shower, my mom is. She is very busy, and I offered to help, so I was just trying to come up with ideas to make the shower as enjoyable as possible for everyone.

Thank god I don't have terrible people like you (Idani) coming.

This was an unnecessarily rude response. When you ask for feedback, you should be prepared to accept it graciously no matter what it is. Incidentally, you should do the same with baby shower gifts, so perhaps you should start practising.

And if your mother is too busy to throw you a shower, you shouldn't help. You're the guest of honour, not a co-host.

mle106

I personally like ooing and ahhing over the gifts at baby showers. If it starts to get boring, I make conversation with a neighbor, get up for to refill my drink, etc. I think I would feel weird if I saw it done any differently.

thelittlestbee

What in the actual fuck? I think the PPs pretty much covered how gross this is. I just want to add that if I got an invitation like that, I would throw that shit in the garbage and then talk shit about you for the next 15 years. 

Yuck. 

Disneygeek77

I guess I don't understand why opening gifts when they arrive is better ?  There would still be a crowd as most people would probably arrive around the same time, but instead of having a comfortable place to sit and munch on goodies, your guests would be standing in line holding your gifts ?  How is this situation better for them ?

It just sounds odd and reminds me not of a baby shower but when we went to Disney World and waited in line to meet Cinderella.  

Mamamads

Ugh jesus so not necessary to answer the way people do but to answer your question, No. Don't do that, the line thing is weird and would throw people off even if you explained it in the invite. People do enjoy watching you open gifts besides theirs so don't worry about that. I would just leave the entire shower up to your mom whose planning it and let her surprise you.

chicagojackie

Mamamads said:

Ugh jesus so not necessary to answer the way people do but to answer your question, No. Don't do that, the line thing is weird and would throw people off even if you explained it in the invite. People do enjoy watching you open gifts besides theirs so don't worry about that. I would just leave the entire shower up to your mom whose planning it and let her surprise you.

Thank goodness we have a WK to help us "be nice."

thelittlestbee

Mamamads said:

Ugh jesus so not necessary to answer the way people do but to answer your question, No. Don't do that, the line thing is weird and would throw people off even if you explained it in the invite. People do enjoy watching you open gifts besides theirs so don't worry about that. I would just leave the entire shower up to your mom whose planning it and let her surprise you.

Impossible since OP is planning her own shower... I doubt her mom is doing anything other than paying for this SS princess party.  

Mamamads

thelittlestbee said:

Mamamads said:

Ugh jesus so not necessary to answer the way people do but to answer your question, No. Don't do that, the line thing is weird and would throw people off even if you explained it in the invite. People do enjoy watching you open gifts besides theirs so don't worry about that. I would just leave the entire shower up to your mom whose planning it and let her surprise you.

Impossible since OP is planning her own shower... I doubt her mom is doing anything other than paying for this SS princess party.  

What's SS mean?

thelittlestbee

@mamamads

SS = Special Snowflake

oliv0026

What is WK???
Anyway, I just read the post to my DH and we had some good laugh. Thanks for the fun!
honestly, is I got to a baby shower and had to stay on line to get to the MTB, I would leave, return my presents, and me a new pair of shoes! Besides, the gift opening is my favorite part! I love seeing all the baby stuff!

samiamagirl

I feel like it would be way more awkward to have people lining up with their offering (that peasant/king analogy is perfect) for you to do the scripted: hi, open gift, small talk while opening, you love it, thank you, next in line. It would be much more comfortable to be in that fun group environment of friends where you can laugh and "ooh" over the gifts you get. I feel showers are similar to parties where certain activities, like games and gift opening, are supposed to be a communal experience.

rebandy7412

Many of these replies have been quite comical, but overall not very helpful. I was hoping to get opinions and some insight from people who have maybe been to lots of baby showers and could offer some advice, but instead I got insults and judgments from people who know nothing about me or my situation. Also, "When you ask for feedback, you should be prepared to accept it graciously no matter what it is" - that's all fine and good, but I will not accept insults from people who think they know what they're talking about and who take one small part of my post and blow it up. I am certainly aware that not everyone would LIKE the idea, but I was interested to hear why people don't like it. There's nothing about calling me a brat or a princess or anything else that will help me understand fundamentally why it is a bad idea. The main point of my question was the order of events at the shower (hence the title), not that people may or may not end up in some sort of line. That was an afterthought that got turned into me apparently being an awful, selfish person. It's also no one's business on here who is throwing the shower for me or how involved I am with it. That information has NOTHING to do with my post, and is completely unnecessary to answer my question. So, thank you to those who gave real opinions and scenarios - I will probably take those into consideration. To the rest of you, fuck you. I never said I was above insults myself.

thehills1983

rebandy7412 said:

Many of these replies have been quite comical, but overall not very helpful. I was hoping to get opinions and some insight from people who have maybe been to lots of baby showers and could offer some advice, but instead I got insults and judgments from people who know nothing about me or my situation. Also, "When you ask for feedback, you should be prepared to accept it graciously no matter what it is" - that's all fine and good, but I will not accept insults from people who think they know what they're talking about and who take one small part of my post and blow it up. I am certainly aware that not everyone would LIKE the idea, but I was interested to hear why people don't like it. There's nothing about calling me a brat or a princess or anything else that will help me understand fundamentally why it is a bad idea. The main point of my question was the order of events at the shower (hence the title), not that people may or may not end up in some sort of line. That was an afterthought that got turned into me apparently being an awful, selfish person. It's also no one's business on here who is throwing the shower for me or how involved I am with it. That information has NOTHING to do with my post, and is completely unnecessary to answer my question. So, thank you to those who gave real opinions and scenarios - I will probably take those into consideration. To the rest of you, fuck you. I never said I was above insults myself.

TLDR, QFP

Unknown

This content has been removed.

thelittlestbee

rebandy7412 said:

Many of these replies have been quite comical, but overall not very helpful. I was hoping to get opinions and some insight from people who have maybe been to lots of baby showers and could offer some advice, but instead I got insults and judgments from people who know nothing about me or my situation. Also, "When you ask for feedback, you should be prepared to accept it graciously no matter what it is" - that's all fine and good, but I will not accept insults from people who think they know what they're talking about and who take one small part of my post and blow it up. I am certainly aware that not everyone would LIKE the idea, but I was interested to hear why people don't like it. There's nothing about calling me a brat or a princess or anything else that will help me understand fundamentally why it is a bad idea. The main point of my question was the order of events at the shower (hence the title), not that people may or may not end up in some sort of line. That was an afterthought that got turned into me apparently being an awful, selfish person. It's also no one's business on here who is throwing the shower for me or how involved I am with it. That information has NOTHING to do with my post, and is completely unnecessary to answer my question. So, thank you to those who gave real opinions and scenarios - I will probably take those into consideration. To the rest of you, fuck you. I never said I was above insults myself.

You're welcome. Enjoy your tacky tackfest pretty princess party. You can fuck off now. Bye.

PrimRoseMama

You are already of to a tacky start hosting your own shower... Also you are way over thinking it. People show up, chat, eat & then presents. It's not some grand state affair that requires so much planning. CTFD.

oliv0026

Oh I see. You posted here to see more responses like "Oh what a great Idea!" Yeah, no. That is not. Fuck you as well honey and have fun! 

VOR

Well, now.  This all took quite the turn.

afidalgo12

OP - I am actually in the same boat (potentially) as you...As in, my mother wants to host my shower, but she's making me basically plan it because she doesn't know what to do and hasn't been to a shower in a while. I pointed her to my best friend for help and it took a lot of the burden off of me.

In response to opening the gifts at the beginning, I'm not sure that would work...but a friend of mine recently had a 'display' shower where we all brought our gifts unwrapped and they were displayed on a table - so during the beginning of the shower as people arrived and sipped mimosas we could all oogle the gifts, and the MTB could spend more time socializing with everyone. It was really a great shower because it was less about the gifts, and more about the MTB spending time with everyone!  You may have to think about your guest list specifically and how they may react to changing up the routine though.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

VOR

afidalgo12 said:

but a friend of mine recently had a 'display' shower where we all brought our gifts unwrapped and they were displayed on a table - so during the beginning of the shower as people arrived and sipped mimosas we could all oogle the gifts, and the MTB could spend more time socializing with everyone. It was really a great shower because it was less about the gifts, and more about the MTB spending time with everyone! 

But it makes it more about the gifts in the fashion of "come give me stuff but I can't be bothered to take the time to open the gifts".  It feels more gift grabby to me, TBH.

Plus, there are people that want to at least see THEIR gift opened.  And there are women who really do enjoy seeing all the gifts opened.

Just setting up a table of presents just rubs me the wrong way.

thelittlestbee

afidalgo12 said:

OP - I am actually in the same boat (potentially) as you...As in, my mother wants to host my shower, but she's making me basically plan it because she doesn't know what to do and hasn't been to a shower in a while. I pointed her to my best friend for help and it took a lot of the burden off of me.

In response to opening the gifts at the beginning, I'm not sure that would work...but a friend of mine recently had a 'display' shower where we all brought our gifts unwrapped and they were displayed on a table - so during the beginning of the shower as people arrived and sipped mimosas we could all oogle the gifts, and the MTB could spend more time socializing with everyone. It was really a great shower because it was less about the gifts, and more about the MTB spending time with everyone!  You may have to think about your guest list specifically and how they may react to changing up the routine though.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but no. Please don't do this. You're contradicting yourself here... If people show up and oogle the gifts on the display table, then how is it not about the gifts? Let's be real, a shower is about gifts. The whole name implies gifts. A shower in and of itself is a party to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts.

I can't understand why people are being so ridiculous about opening gifts at showers. Your guests spend time and money to buy you presents, the least you can do is open them in front of everyone, as it's always been done, and oooh and ahhh over it. It's just the DECENT thing to do. 

afidalgo12

I totally get what you're saying - but I just wanted to offer my experience. The display shower I went to was lovely, and tasteful, and being pregnant myself not having to figure out a way to wrap a bumbo was kind of a relief.

It's definitely not for everyone, and you have to intimately know your guests and how they may react to something...But I also think that change is good sometimes.

The ultimate driver should be your guests and their expectations.