Anyone here FF by choice from the start? - Page 2 — The Bump
Formula Feeding

Anyone here FF by choice from the start?

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Re: Anyone here FF by choice from the start?

  • redfallonredfallon member
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    edited July 2015
    So glad I found this board. I am only 18 weeks along and have been struggling with the decision to BF or FF. And honestly, I've always leaned toward FF but when I posted a question about it in my birth month on here, I got so many judgmental women saying, "You have to breastfeed! Are you crazy! Are you selfish? Are you lazy?!" And that really got to me and made me feel bad. Was it selfish to not want to BF just because I didn't want to. Not because I couldn't or the fact that I don't even want to try like many suggest. I just don't. Simple as that. I'm not comfortable with it and also like many other women here said, I want my husband to take part in the feeding time too. Anyway, I have finally come to the conclusion that I am going to FF. It lifts a weight off my shoulders when I think about it. I just hope when I tell people, they don't say stuff like "Aw come on. You at least need to try it. It's better for baby," and so on and so forth. Just let me be at peace with my decision. Ok. rant over. lol
    Hey there. I only found your post here bc your post on the D15 board was mentioned in a UO today and I wondered what had happened to you. I am so sorry that you got all the judgment from people when you were only trying to figure things out for yourself. I hope that you also felt a lot of support from those that were coming to your defense in whatever decision you made to feed your baby. There definitely should be no shame in whatever you choose and I'm glad that you have finally been able to come to a decision that is right for you and your family :)

    Jamie


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    lablover920tstew96
  • Hi all,
    I know I'm jumping in a bit late here but I decided to FF from the start.
    I have always hated my breasts (I showered in a bikini until I was 17 just so I didn't have to see them, as I would get physically ill whenever I saw them and it was just before my 18th birthday that I fell pregnant) from the day I knew I was pregnant I decided to formula feed. For me there was nothing worse than the thought of breastfeeding in public, in front of family and friends and at all really.

    It was written in my midwives notes that I had chosen to formula feed and I was never questioned. However I never felt that I received the support that a breastfeeding mother would. When my daughter arrived (first baby) I was never shown how to wash or sterilise bottles and never told how to make them up. In those early weeks I never made bottles correctly and I feel so much guilt looking back. When we were in hospital we were sharing a room with a breastfeeding mother who had the nurses there around the clock helping her but I never received the same assistance when it came to feeding. But at the same time, her baby would scream all night while mine slept contently because she was full. That cemented in my mind that I had made the right decision.

    As it turned out, my daughter could never have been breastfed and I already suffered PND so I know if I had been pushed into that route it would have been worse. My daughter suffered a tongue and lip tie, has suck and swallow issues and is under the care of a speech pathologist and suffers Milk protein intolerance and soy intolerance. So breastfeeding her would have been near impossible.

    It breaks my heart and angers me today (she's 6 months old) that we don't have as much support as breastfeeding mothers do. No 24/7 hotlines to ring etc. But when I feed my daughter who is also classed as failure to thrive I know exactly how much she's receiving and can add calories according to the paediatrician's guidelines and she is always happy.

    Baby aside, I feel content that I don't have to suffer the embarrassment that I would have felt breastfeeding. I can enjoy a wine at the end of the night after a full day of a screaming, teething baby which is one way in which I keep my sanity and again, my greatest reward is seeing her happy and full.
    Brooke1129
  • I live in MA too and can't believe I missed this law passed that outlawed formula samples. Does this mean formula is not available at the hospital to feed? Will I need to bring my
    Own? Or do they just mean they won't send me home with any?
  • redfallonredfallon member
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    edited August 2015
    I live in MA too and can't believe I missed this law passed that outlawed formula samples. Does this mean formula is not available at the hospital to feed? Will I need to bring my Own? Or do they just mean they won't send me home with any?
    Wow! I just looked up info on this because I had never heard of it. From what I found, no hospitals in either Mass or RI will have sample formula to provide to you. If you want to FF, I guess you'll have to bring your own. You can still probably get some samples from your pedi, though. I also am not sure that it's a law, because from the only articles I could see from 2012, the law for this couldn't be passed, but the hospitals banned them on their own, with some peer pressure from an organization that was pushing for the ban.

    ETA: I'm in TX, so that doesn't affect me, but I find it crazy that they did that. Not every mother CAN breastfeed, and the samples are nice to have to find out which type of formula your baby can tolerate before buying a big, expensive, container. I had breast surgery 10 years before I had my daughter, and I was able to nurse her a little bit, but I didn't have fully functioning glands and nerves to be able to give her everything that she needed. We used all the samples that we got from the hospital and from her pedi.

    Jamie


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    tstew96
  • My OB confirmed that the advantages of breast feeding in a Western, industrialized country are trivial (something my own research had indicated), and that was good enough for me. I would rather trust my own instincts and my highly qualified doctor than some judgmental ninnies on TB or meddling politicians. Will be ff from Day 1 for a variety of reasons but primarily because I just feel like it. Glad I found this group :) I'm an infertility patient who needed 4 years and IVF to conceive, so after going through hell to get pregnant I want to do what's best for my baby and for myself. For my family, that means formula feeding.
    tstew96
  • I had such problems BF my first I will also be FF from day one with my second. Anyone have advice as to of we need to do anything to avoid infection or anything like that if milk does still come in? Also has anyone exclusively pumped and formula fed? What was ur experience? Thanks everyone!
  • babes14x said:

    I had such problems BF my first I will also be FF from day one with my second. Anyone have advice as to of we need to do anything to avoid infection or anything like that if milk does still come in? Also has anyone exclusively pumped and formula fed? What was ur experience? Thanks everyone!

    Same here. I would like to know the same questions. Has your OB given you a lot of crap for wanting to FF? Mine talks to me every time about how I should at least try to BF because "every baby is different and this experience could be totally opposite of the one with my first"... Blah blah blah. I'm super annoyed by it. Anyways best luck to you
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  • saladflambesaladflambe member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited September 2015
    I am considering formula feeding.

    **Trigger Warning**

    I was sexually assaulted multiple times in the past, including one that was particularly painful and focused primarily on inflicting pain on my breasts. I am already triggered by the pain in my breasts from being pregnant... they've been a hands-off zone for me for so long; I used to forget that they existed. I was glad when I lost a lot of weight and they basically disappeared. Now, they're growing, sensitive, and the idea of them being in anyone's mouth makes me cry. 

    I was formula fed because my mom was sick and needed medication, and I turned out just fine. 
    LFAF Dec 2016 Awards: Queen of All the Food; LFAF PopTart Packer; Most Vulnerable & True to Self
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP Aug 31, 2015
    EDD: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016


    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
  • I think breastfeeding is disgusting. Then when I was pregnant with my first I kinda warmed up to it and thought I'd give it a shot, or at least pump and give her BM and save tons of money woo hoo right?. Plus Dd was born at 28 weeks and everyone said BM is the best for her. So I was pumping and I realized it's worse than I ever imagined. Everyone at the hospital was pressuring me to do it too. I had to fight back and stand up for myself. I quit and I'm so so happy I did. I will not bother with BM next time. This baby will be formula fed from day 1 preemie or not. There were 1000 reasons why breastfeeding sucked and 1000 reasons why formula is just as good or better. I just wish I had support in the NICU for my decision. Or even someone to say "it's fine" or even "it's an option". It still pisses me off how terrible and depressed I felt while pumping and how long I suffered doing it. Do whatever makes you happy. Enjoy your baby
    tstew96
  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Photogenic
    edited September 2015
    I've never wanted to ff. Ever. No specific reason, no trauma or surgery.. I just don't want to do it. My midwives prefer bfing, but will support whatever I decide. I'm considering pumping, in the beginning anyway, but also doing ff, especially at night so my DH can help. I'm having a hard time finding other women online that feel this way, too, so I'm really glad to see this thread!
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

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    thefithuntressEllsmac
  • I want to BF/pump only to save money, but have a feeling we will ff. DH is a teacher and will be home with baby more than I will be since he has summers and more holidays off than me. So ff only makes sense in that he can feed our children as well. I was ff and I turned out fine. And I am conflicted on the whole process; while I know breasts are made for feeding, I don't know them in that sense and it's a weird idea to have a child sucking on them.

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    rue:D
  • I am ff by choice. I have a few medicines I take that could cross over. This also allows my husband to take equal bonding time with our little guy
  • I hated bf so much. I felt like a cow, hated every sensation and it made me feel crazy. FF first child a day after leaving hospital. Second child I tried a combo but he preferred the bottle and I hated bf only slightly less so was happy to stop on my last day in hospital. From reliving these memories I think I'll just choose formula and be done - for baby on the way. Certain family members will definitely judge and a couple friends too. I'm too old to care anymore. My two boys are awesome and healthy so I'm happy with formula!
    millereliz13MynaBird
  • Hey, @ColoradoHiker! Glad to see a fellow N15er here. Hope all is well.


    Ellsmac
  • Hey, @ColoradoHiker! Glad to see a fellow N15er here. Hope all is well.
    Yay for N15!  I'm doing well, Rhy was born 11.18 and it's been an interesting ride so far.  I did eventually decide to EP, but I was supplementing with formula in the beginning at the hospital/ at home, until my milk came in fully.  It was really hard to find support for even supplement FF, though.  Even at the hospital, when I told them I was EPing (this was apparently something surprising and unheard of, rather than BFing??) but supplementing with the formula, it was a pain in the butt.  They had to 'order' the formula for the baby.  But whatever.  I kept my sanity and my baby had a full tummy.

    How are you and your little one doing?  :)
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

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  • Hey, @ColoradoHiker! Glad to see a fellow N15er here. Hope all is well.

    Yay for N15!  I'm doing well, Rhy was born 11.18 and it's been an interesting ride so far.  I did eventually decide to EP, but I was supplementing with formula in the beginning at the hospital/ at home, until my milk came in fully.  It was really hard to find support for even supplement FF, though.  Even at the hospital, when I told them I was EPing (this was apparently something surprising and unheard of, rather than BFing??) but supplementing with the formula, it was a pain in the butt.  They had to 'order' the formula for the baby.  But whatever.  I kept my sanity and my baby had a full tummy.

    How are you and your little one doing?  :)


    We are so so awesome. Basil was 8lb, 7oz at birth and slowly but surely gaining weight back on. She sleeps and eats like a champ and I have no qualms about formula feeding her. I did my research to pick a nice brand and it's agreeing with her.

    As for the hospital they were surprisingly cooperative. My pediatrician even more so. Being a mom is hard enough so it's super lame when people aren't supportive. Glad you're finding your rhythm! :)


  • I just talked to a woman at work who plans to FF from day 1 so she and her husband can have equal share in responsibility. I found that to be so empowering. I EBF the 1st 6 weeks and it was so tough, using formula to supplement and being able to get a break while my husband could fully care for our son was a godsend. I'm a OAD mom but if I ever do have another I'm not putting myself through that again.
    millereliz13
  • I have exclusively FF since day 1.  Husband really wanted me to try BF but I was not going to no matter what he wanted, my body not his!  I am BRCA1 positive so for the past five years my boobs have been poked, prodded and imaged extensively and I emotionally can't find anything positive about them which I new would lead me to have a negative connection with my LO.  My hisband still wishes I would've tried but so far everyone else, even the hospital staff, has been understanding and amazing.  I also like that other people can lend a hand and feed LO when I need a break which is awesome.
    millereliz13MynaBird
  • This is baby #3 for us. We FF from the start with our first 2. I was not interested in BFing. Over the past 8 years of motherhood I've had plenty of folks tell me this is selfish, wrong, damaging, whatever. My 2 oldest are healthy and intelligent. This one will be too, I'm sure. 

    When our kids were newborns, my husband and I had a plan where one of us would have "a night"....so, one night it was his turn with the baby getting up, the next night it was mine. We switched off like that so at least one of us was getting a full night sleep every other night. Worked for us very well and FFing was a big part of this.
    MynaBird
  • I only managed about 2 days BFing, I had such a hard time with it and my daughter was dehydrated from not getting any food since I had nothing coming out. She has done so well from the first day on formula that if we have a second child I will formula feed from day one. It works so much better for our family as well I love DH helping with feedings and being able to leave DD for more than a few hours at a time. I hated the pumping thing too I just felt like a cow being milked and it took away so much bonding time from me and my daughter. The stress and guilt from failing at breastfeeding made the first weeks so hard and based on how well we're doing now I know it's not for me and I'd never attempt it again. 
    MynaBirdyogahh
  • Thank you guys for starting this post! I'm due in 11 weeks and have been planning on ff from the start! I'm single and going to have a short leave from work and there is a lot of family history of bf problems with my mom, aunts and cousins, I know everyone is different but I would rather know my baby is being properly fed and get to enjoy the few short weeks I will have with her before I go back to work and she is with my parents all day. I don't understand all the negativity from other moms out there about feeding and it's nice to see some real support for those of us just trying to make the best choice for our babies :) 
  • yogahhyogahh member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I only managed about 2 days BFing, I had such a hard time with it and my daughter was dehydrated from not getting any food since I had nothing coming out. She has done so well from the first day on formula that if we have a second child I will formula feed from day one. It works so much better for our family as well I love DH helping with feedings and being able to leave DD for more than a few hours at a time. I hated the pumping thing too I just felt like a cow being milked and it took away so much bonding time from me and my daughter. The stress and guilt from failing at breastfeeding made the first weeks so hard and based on how well we're doing now I know it's not for me and I'd never attempt it again. 
    I know this is old but I have to say I could have written this. My daughter is 3 days old and I'm already over bf. Yesterday I fed for 6 hours and she got NOTHING. Finally at 3 am the nurses brought me formula. Baby has been happy and content since then. No more screaming and crying. I'm less stressed already and I think that will allow me to have a better bond with her. Not once in those six hours of bf last night did she look in my eyes. But in the 2 minutes of ff this morning, she and I locked eyes the whole time. Those 2 minutes were the best of my life

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  • Jgar2u2Jgar2u2 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited May 2016
    yogahh said:
    I only managed about 2 days BFing, I had such a hard time with it and my daughter was dehydrated from not getting any food since I had nothing coming out. She has done so well from the first day on formula that if we have a second child I will formula feed from day one. It works so much better for our family as well I love DH helping with feedings and being able to leave DD for more than a few hours at a time. I hated the pumping thing too I just felt like a cow being milked and it took away so much bonding time from me and my daughter. The stress and guilt from failing at breastfeeding made the first weeks so hard and based on how well we're doing now I know it's not for me and I'd never attempt it again. 
    I know this is old but I have to say I could have written this. My daughter is 3 days old and I'm already over bf. Yesterday I fed for 6 hours and she got NOTHING. Finally at 3 am the nurses brought me formula. Baby has been happy and content since then. No more screaming and crying. I'm less stressed already and I think that will allow me to have a better bond with her. Not once in those six hours of bf last night did she look in my eyes. But in the 2 minutes of ff this morning, she and I locked eyes the whole time. Those 2 minutes were the best of my life
    With my daughter I attempted to bf but at her week check up she was dehydrated so we had to supplement. I swear she was latched on ALL day long. I sat in the rocking chair all day... It was depressing and exhausting. I supplemented/pumped, etc until she was about 4 months and I went back to work. We went just to formula at that time. I felt guilty at times but I know that she was only using me for comfort and wasn't getting anything. With DS1 we formula fed from the start. I didnt have any trouble from nurses when he was born other than one attempt to educate me on how much a bf baby ate compared to a ff baby and I told her I was aware of that. She acted like I was clueless to bfing, not knowing I had done it before. My son is just fine... and we are going to FF from day one with DS2 when he's born in June. Bottles are ready to go!  :smiley: 
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  • I had to move to formula as well, since the mother left us. But we don't experience any trouble. We use the one from Hipp and the baby is very happy with it. I can't say how or whether it would have been different with BF, but one has to make the best out of their situation, am I right? :)
  • I FF from the start. I had no desire to BF and I liked the idea of DH or my mom taking the baby for a few hrs so I could sleep. Trying for baby #3 next year and will be FF again. 
    DD1: 2/28/12
    DD2: 9/12/13
    Baby #3: Due January 2018

  • I'm thinking about it. My first baby, I have no happy memories of trying to get her to bf. sometimes I want to try again and then sometimes I don't even want to go through that again. 

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  • I made the choice to FF from day one.  It freaked me out and made me extremely uncomfortable.  Before I ever was pregnant the first time I had pressure from friends saying it was best so I figured future me would deal with that when the time came.  Then the time came and future me couldn't handle the thought.  Thankfully I had a doctor and hospital that was FF friendly.  I never once had any pressure to try and no one ever asked me to try. After my first visit and they said it's perfectly OK to FF I started researching more about FF and why people put such a stigma on it.  Now the best thing I could ever say to anyone who tells me FF is wrong, that I would bet them $5 that they couldn't walk into a pre-school or daycare and point out which kids were FF and which ones are BF.

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  • Our plan all along has been to FF.  Our first daughter came to us through foster care so she was FF from the get-go (she also spent over a month in the NICU).  BF has never felt right to me.  Although I am still in the stages of TTC, we know that FF will work best for us.  Also, we're a two-mom household and feel like FF would give us both an equal chance to feed and bond with the baby.
    secretsmama
  • aysieaysie member
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Comment
    edited June 2017
    *Removed for TOU Violation*

  • I planned FF from the time I found out I was pregnant for similar reasons.
    By the time my daughter was born it didn't really matter because we found out my body didn't produce enough milk to sustain her. She would have starved to death had I tried.
  • I'm a FTM and am planning to FF from the start. I did all my research on bfing but it's just not for me. Neither is pumping. I had some guilt for a while, forcing myself to try it but then felt so much better when I decided I wouldn't. Most of my friends know already but there are still some and family that are curious as to why and it's frustrating feeling like you need to explain. I don't always, because it's mine and DH choice. ☺ I'm due in 6 days and can't wait! 
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