I feel pretty much the same way you do Donna. Personal preference. You're right about it being an unpopular sentiment, and that's putting it mildly. I'm preparing myself for a shitstorm to rain down on me when the time comes...not that it's anyone's business, but you know it's enevitable. Have you faced any criticisms yet, or does anyone even know your thoughts?
I've heard horror stories of lactation consultants coming in your hospital room, snatching your breast without permission and attempting to feed baby. Then they just don't accept that you won't be bf when you tell them.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
Good to know all. I'm definitely not concerned about the safety or efficacy of FF. I'm good in that department. I was worried about the flak at the hospital etc. from choosing to FF from the start. I feel better now. Maybe there are less ass holes out there than I originally thought! Thank you for your replies.
I am so glad that someone started this because anything I find about FF is just about people who weren't able to BF...I never tried for several reasons. I knew I was going to have a short maternity leave (only the 6 weeks I needed to get cleared). We rely on my income. So I would have to pump after 6 weeks. Well that's great and all but I work at a job where I am on the phones all day so for me to take several breaks to pump would be HIGHLY inconvenient to my employer even if they're legally obligated to let me do it. So if I did BF I would have to stop after 6 weeks anyway which would mean weaning baby and drying up my supply (which sucked enough having not BF at all). So yeah haha I ranted. Sorry guys!
Edit to add: I also don't think I'd feel comfortable BFing in public...or around other people at all. So I would have become a reculse
donnamartingraduates93 said:I'm a ftm to-be and honestly have no desire/instinct/anything that I feel like the majority of women seem to have to want to even try to bf. I truly wish I had that want, but for some reason can't get myself to that place mentally. I don't have any medical reasons, nor have I encountered any difficulties in terms of latch/supply (I'm due in April)- this is strictly based on personal preference. I realize this is a pretty unpopular sentiment, but am definitely very interested in the experiences others have had.
I'm a ftm to-be and honestly have no desire/instinct/anything that I feel like the majority of women seem to have to want to even try to bf. I truly wish I had that want, but for some reason can't get myself to that place mentally. I don't have any medical reasons, nor have I encountered any difficulties in terms of latch/supply (I'm due in April)- this is strictly based on personal preference. I realize this is a pretty unpopular sentiment, but am definitely very interested in the experiences others have had.
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11.
2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do
Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months.
Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
FTM here and we have been FF since day one. I just never had any interest in BF, I just find it weird. Then of course you have the "Well you can pump" line 8-| which I'm sorry I don't want to spend all my time pumping I actually want to enjoy life with my LO. My baby is happy healthy and we are enjoying life to the fullest that is the only thing that matters. I hate seeing women feel so awful about themselves because of this pedestal BF is put up on. Sure it has great benefits but not everyone can do it and using these scare tactics and the pressure to do it does not help anyone espeically when we are already fighting these crazy hormones.
I will say I was very happy with my whole experience at the hospital when it came to me FF from the start. I felt no pressure, no one used any scare tactics on me and sure maybe there could have been some silent judgement (who doesn't secretly judge other parents) but they were great at making sure I never felt that. Plus never once did a LC ever come in my room to try and sway me to BF. When we did our tour and we got to write out the birth plan and they asked about BF and if wanted the LC, when we said no we are FF they wrote it down that we didn't the LC and what formula we wanted so after LO was born and it was time to feed her they just handed me the formula.
Also a good blog to read is the Fearless Formula Feeder. It gives great advice and has awesome stories. Plus I read her book and that helps with giving you plenty of info to inform anyone that feels the need to give their opinion on how you are feeding your child....even though it is none of their business.
But just wanted to say Stay strong ladies and don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you are feeding your child. Like many others have said it's none of their business and also your LO has no idea where the liquid you are giving them came from all they know is they are eating. Good Luck to all
I chose not to BF for a couple of reasons. The first being that I didn't feel the desire, like many PP have said here. The second, and more prominent reason, is that my mom suffered from terrible PPD after she had me. She had previously shared stories (before I got preg) about how much MORE depressed she got when she couldn't BF. No matter what she did, her milk would not come in as much as it should have and she ended up being "a suicidal mess", to use her own words.
I had a very hard time with depression while I was pregnant and was already nervous taht I would have PPD like my mom did. The attempt to BF was a stress I was willing to eliminate from what could have been an already stressful situation as a FTM. I just decided not to even deal with it. Both myself and my husband were FF and we turned out fine, so I figured there was no harm in it. Fortunately, I did not deal with PPD at all, but I'm still glad I didn't risk the potential stress of not being able to BF or worrying if my baby had enough food, etc.
MrsGJC said:Good to know all. I'm definitely not concerned about the safety or efficacy of FF. I'm good in that department. I was worried about the flak at the hospital etc. from choosing to FF from the start. I feel better now. Maybe there are less ass holes out there than I originally thought! Thank you for your replies.
Good to know all.
Man finding this thread makes me feel so much better! I've felt like I have a dirty little secret in that I don't want to BF at ALL. No real desire as other PP's have mentioned. I also feel REALLY weird about confusing how I use them today (lol) and feeding an infant, it makes me feel weird and perverted! Also ditto on the feeling super weird about how it would go down in public, I am a pretty private person, it just doesn't seem like my thing.
And the stuff about wanting to be on equal footing with my husband, its such a relief to know I'm not the only one who's felt that way!
I am a FTM due in October and have already been feeling nervous about telling my doctor even thought its months away!
So excited to have found this board, as like all of you it's as if there is a deep horrid secret im keeping.
One interesting fact that my OB told me- hospitals throughout America are breast first formula second. Apparently- whoever the rating board is deducts points from maternity wards for every mother that leaves not breastfeeding. I was SHOCKED! What about the moms who physically/medically CANNOT breastfeed- seems absurd to me on so many levels. She then followed up with you need to do whatever makes you comfortable and most happy- as you being happy will result in happy baby, happy husband, and happy life.