1st Question- I think this is federal?if you are taking second parent / non bio FMLA for bonding are there any rules to when it has to start - birth date?
If so, does the employer set these rules or would the government?
2nd question- i think this is state regulated?
If you are adopting as well, does your employer have to follow the same rules as their biological parent maternity leave- ie full pay for 6 weeks (where they do offer)?
( I am assuming that this has to overlap FMLA if so, depending on employer rules)
Semi-related- how long does 2nd parent adoption take in NY? Any recommendations for lawyers?
TIA!
Married 9~20~13L- 34 M- 29
First IUI (L) 5/27/2014 triggered- BFP
Singleton due 2/17/15
... cantAloupe ...
Re: FMLA Qs- general/federal and NY
Together 11 years ~ Married 4 years
IUI #3 - April 2014 - Monitored, 100mg Clomid CD1-5. Ovidrel w/ one 24mm follicle on CD13, back-to-back IUI w/ donor sperm CD14-15... BFP on 5/1/14 ... EDD: 1/10/15
I don't have full answers for anything ... in fact I don't have partial answers for anything. But I'm throwing my thoughts out here in case any of this is helpful:
1. I know nothing about non-birthing parent FMLA. Sorry!
2. In most cases (in all cases that I know of, but allowing that there are some more generous employers out there) the "Pay" portion of paid maternity leave is actually a short-term disability claim. So by the very nature of what they are insuring, pay is only granted for recovery from a medical condition (childbirth). And that pay is typically at 60% of your normal salary (I know CA is different, and state regulated, but I don't believe NY is). It does all come down to your individual employer, and I know that many employers do offer SOME leave that is paid at 100% for both the birthing and non-birthing parent, but it's typically more in the 1-2 week range and would definitely not be covered by short term disability.
A seperate note about adoption ... in NY, same-sex marriage is legally recognized so there's a strong possibility that you will be able to have both of your names on the birth certificate. If that is the case you are ALSO pursuing second parent adoption, I would expect some confusion from your employer about whether to base leave and benefit decisions on the birth date or the adoption date.
Good luck!
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
@robertjane33 - So I've been pondering this question a lot, as our second child will be born in a state that now allows both of us to be on the birth certificate. I understand that other states may not recognize our marriage, however can they disregard the parental rights of someone who is listed on the birth certificate? I mean, the outcome of our entire 2nd parent adoption process for Mr. G. was to get his birth certificate amended to include both of our names. So essentially ... the outcome is the same. Right?
What am I missing? That's an honest question, not a snarky one. It seems black and white to me, but I know that it never is. And while I'd love to avoid a consultation with our (very expensive) lawyer, I'm pretty confident we'll need one. I'd just love to be as prepared as possible walking into it.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
That said, I do think some companies have separate maternity and paternity leaves and that those policies are dependent on whether or not you are giving birth.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
The main thing I am trying to figure out is if her fmla for bonding can be used after my 6 weeks .... I think the website above that I read earlier as well implied that it can. Her HR is saying it has to start on his birth date. Will have to read into it more.
Jealous. I wish my company was that generous.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!