Can we moan?

Helenahhandbasket

I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am looking forward to all this year will bring, but we moved into the new place this weekend (YAY!!) and Josie is not taking it well (BOO).  She keeps asking when we can go "home" and I feel guilty and like I am a little selfish for wanting to move her.  She doesn't understand that the place we are now at is her new home.

@jellybean529-- I know you moved recently and Ang is older than Josie, but did you have an adjustment period?  How long did it take?

jellybean529

We just moved on the 22nd so I know what you're going through. She's still going through an adjustment, to be honest. We moved around a LOT during DD's life...we moved when DD was 14 months and then 23 months and then 3 1/2 years (to Boston) and then twice when she was 5 (we had just moved to a new apartment in a suburb of Boston 3 months prior to STBXH and I splitting up, and I moved to FL a few months after that). There was always an adjustment period, it usually peaked after a few days after the move and pretty much lasted about 3 weeks. 

DD is still asking to go to her old house. To see her cousins. To see the old pets. She's generally happy about the new place but I can tell it's having an effect on her still. I talked to her therapist about it and she said to try to create as much routine and stability as you can because this stuff is kind of scary to them. And don't feel guilty about it, you did what you needed/wanted to do and what will be best for the long term.

And congrats on the new place!! 

Helenahhandbasket

Thanks Jelly!

I know it's going to take a while-- and I know I am doing the right thing.

We kept almost everything the same-- so her same bedding, furniture, general routine (we're close enough so that she can go to the same DCP) and I even painted her room yellow like the old room.

I just felt so bad for her because she kept saying "it's scary."  So last night we both sat on the floor of her room and ugly cried.  It was a sight, for sure.

skategirl128

Congrats on the new place! I moved DS twice- once when he was 18 months old into an apartment and the second time he was barely 4. He had a lot going on during our second move.

It took a good month for him to adjust. He wanted to go "home" almost everyday but eventually started to love his new room. I got him set up first and that seemed to help. I also involved him in unpacking around the house. He enjoyed trying to find places for things to go.

Big hugs! It takes time. You are doing what is best for both of you long term! Good luck!

Helenahhandbasket

skategirl128 said:

Congrats on the new place! I moved DS twice- once when he was 18 months old into an apartment and the second time he was barely 4. He had a lot going on during our second move. It took a good month for him to adjust. He wanted to go "home" almost everyday but eventually started to love his new room. I got him set up first and that seemed to help. I also involved him in unpacking around the house. He enjoyed trying to find places for things to go. Big hugs! It takes time. You are doing what is best for both of you long term! Good luck!

Thanks so much.  Yes, I was super concerned about her room being as perfect as possible right away, and she has been helpful- she just seems sad.

jellybean529

Helenahhandbasket said:

Thanks Jelly!

I know it's going to take a while-- and I know I am doing the right thing.

We kept almost everything the same-- so her same bedding, furniture, general routine (we're close enough so that she can go to the same DCP) and I even painted her room yellow like the old room.

I just felt so bad for her because she kept saying "it's scary."  So last night we both sat on the floor of her room and ugly cried.  It was a sight, for sure.

Awwww. BTDT. You guys WILL get through, I promise. My DD and I had lots of ugly cries when we first moved to Boston (when she was 3 1/2) because everything was new and scary for her there and it was the first move she really understood. I think once a few weeks have passed, she'll start to feel more settled in, and she'll realize she still has the same daycare and her mommy is still there too and she will feel less scared and more secure.

Hugs (and bottles of wine!) to you in the meantime!

Helenahhandbasket

Jelly, there will be wine.

eyenigh

Aw, I hope she adjusts soon. Change is harder on some kids than others-- my son has a very difficult time with new transitions, too.

skategirl128

Helenahhandbasket said:

skategirl128 said:

Congrats on the new place! I moved DS twice- once when he was 18 months old into an apartment and the second time he was barely 4. He had a lot going on during our second move.

It took a good month for him to adjust. He wanted to go "home" almost everyday but eventually started to love his new room. I got him set up first and that seemed to help. I also involved him in unpacking around the house. He enjoyed trying to find places for things to go.

Big hugs! It takes time. You are doing what is best for both of you long term! Good luck!

Thanks so much.  Yes, I was super concerned about her room being as perfect as possible right away, and she has been helpful- she just seems sad.

Being sad is very typical. She's away from what was familiar. I sat with DS and ugly cried a few times too! We read a couple books to help also- there are several new house books for kids. Big hugs mama- it will get better!

[Deleted User]

Oh, that sounds hard. You're doing the right thing! Hugs to you. >:D<