*~*~* ftm & btdtm play date! 01/03/15 *~*~*

AMShark

Welcome to the First Time Mothers (FTM) & Been There Done That Mothers (BTDTM) Play Date!

This is a thread for the FTM's in our PAIF community.  Check-ins will be posted every other Thursday.  On alternating Thursdays (or........ummm....as soon as I remember), I'll post a FT & BTDT moms' "Play Date" thread - in which we inexperienced first timers ask for advice and feedback from the more experienced ladies in our communities.

QOTW: FTMs, any resolutions for 2015?

**Play Date Note** This week, we've tried to gather FTM questions in advance. Those questions are included in my next post. 

In an effort to keep the first post shorter, I've am also moving the FTM list to a subsequent post.

Please respect our BTDT contributors & avoid duplicate questions. What to know what was already answered?  Check out the links to previous Play Date threads:

10/02 Play Date session
10/17 Play Date session

10/30 Play Date session

11/13 Play Date session

12/18 Play Date session

AMShark

FTM Group Questions:

Registry

If you had a registry, where you chose to register and why? I'm considering Babies R Us, target and amazon. I think I will end up doing 2 different places, so any pros/cons or other suggestions are greatly appreciated. Cleaning

Are there any recommended safe cleaning products BTDT moms use to spray spit up etc out of rugs, carpet, furniture? Carpal Tunnel / Wrists / Hands For those of us with carpal tunnel flaring up - how did you deal with it? Baths? Heating Pad? What other options are there?  My kinda MIL is freaking out over the midnight baths I take for waking with throbbing hands even with use of braces. Note: water is only warm to skin, no reddening happening at all. It seems to be the submersion that helps. Are any of you having your hands fall asleep at night?? Any suggestions on how to avoid this? It happens to both hands at the same time and I've had to completely sit up in bed or walk around to wake them back up. Personal Care Products What should we have on hand for personal care following birth?  I've heard all sorts of things like witch hazel and stool softener, so I'd love their lists. I've seen lists on Pinterest including items like Depends, or a numbing spray.  What is really needed, and for how long?  Breast Feeding For those who found success breastfeeding, talk to me about it. I am 38w4d and haven't even seen a hint of colostrum, which I know the books say is normal but I want a human being to tell me they've been able to breastfeed successfully with similar situations. Also, should I buy a breast shield ahead of time? Soothies? I already have nipple balm and a pump and a pillow, but I feel like this might be a challenge and I want to be ready in case. *** ETA - added breast feeding question *

AMShark

FTM's List

Third Trimester

12/15/14 - @xc1148

12/30/14 - @Saintelizabeth

01/13/15 - @southernyankeegirl

01/14/15 - @MKateG

01/21/15 - @hopeby2015

01/24/15 - @Lady2010

02/02/15 - @WA1215

02/07/15 - @jaztastic

02/11/15 - @MissEm15

02/17/15 - @weansworld09

02/19/15 - @Escarabeo217

02/22/15 - @BeckyP005

02/22/15 - @runawaylaurel

03/14/15 - @Margritli (twins)

03/21/15 - @KT416

03/23/15 - @poohniki

Second Trimester

04/17/15 - @pblge

04/25/15 - @BalletAn

04/25/15 - @Canuck13

04/29/15 - @AMShark (twins)

05/01/15 - @LO95

05/02/15 - @gsancho

05/05/15 - @rella22

05/07/15 - @sugar4bri (twins)

First Trimester 

05/16/15 - @Aimothy

05/16/15 - @sunshinedaisies000

05/20/15 - @Lesliem0901

05/21/15 - @holberry5

05/25/15 - @1220winterbride

05/25/15 - @Champs28

05/25/15 - @Regan1976

05/25/15 - @yvonne0001

05/26/15 - @HCAMP123

05/26/15 - @viola27

05/28/a5 - @ky29

05/29/15 - @kittenmittens9

05/30/15 - @MJ14323

05/31/15 - @IFinTN

05/31/15 - @sweetpotato123 (twins)

06/03/15 - @CarSaidYes

06/03/15 - @turquoisequeen

06/04/15 - @wendyful

06/06/15 - @Andy99

06/11/15 - @starlightgator (twins)

06/12/15 - @PurpleDaisy923 (twins)

06/15/15 - @jessimi06 (twins)

06/18/15 - @hbanana18

06/24/15 - @erbear84

07/02/15 - @katemonster1

07/08/15 - @theblessingofababy

07/21/15 - @chicory (twins)

07/28/15 - @Nutmeg8484

07/28/15 - @sorellam30

08/04/15 - @carrieharry79

08/04/15 - @RunCC37

08/06/15 - @Shelbeans82

08/15/15 - @DSculley1824

08/24/15 - @luna0803

PAIF Angels:

amylev80

missmarypoppins

RunCC37 (vanishing twin)

Graduates:

@Cutiecruz327 - Welcome, baby Manny, b. 10/22/14

@lincoln79 - Welcome, baby William Ryan, b. 10/29/14

@ekc0630 - Welcome, baby Jackson Thomas, b. 10/31/14

@rox825 - Welcome, baby Joseph Thomas, b. 11/13/14

@Ashris13 - Welcome, baby Elizabeth (Ellie) Victoria, b. 11/23/14

@heleng5 - Welcome, baby Annabelle Jade, b. 12/10/14

@CandaceC1020 - Welcome, baby Alaina Grace, b. 12/23/14

luvboston

Registry- amazon it's the easiest and customer service is great. I only rec putting things on your list amazon sells themselves and ships because we had an issue with a stroller and it was a pita.

Cleaning-reg blue dawn, vinegar and water and cheap vodka, I make all my own cleaning products. Never use borax the stuff is terrible for u.

Personal care- I would wait till you leave the hospital because I got most everything I needed there and anything else I sent my family for. Also miralax works a lot better in my opinion then anything else. Heating pads and large ice packs.

southernyankeegirl

I loved our Amazon registry. I would skip Babies R Us and BuyBuyBaby if I had to do it over. We got next to nothing from them.

Question: For those who found success breastfeeding, talk to me about it. I am 38w4d and haven't even seen a hint of colostrum, which I know the books say is normal but I want a human being to tell me they've been able to breastfeed successfully with similar situations. Also, should I buy a breast shield ahead of time? Soothies? I already have nipple balm and a pump and a pillow, but I feel like this might be a challenge and I want to be ready in case.

BabyKsMommy

Registry- I only did target th first time around and it was ok. Most people I know like the brick and mortar stores and are last minute shoppers. But it doesn't hurt to register everywhere because you can get goody bags plus coupons. I registered everywhere with the twins but only shared a couple of my registries.

Cleaning products- I usually just wipe up spit up right away and it's fine. One thing I do buy specifically for my babies is a pure and clean dish soap. I noticed the things I washed a lot like bottles and my nipple shield were smelling like my orange dish soap.


Mommy care products- definitely pads, you will use them for 6-8 weeks. I did take some home from the hospital but of course I needed more. Dermoplast is the numbing spray and you really only need it for a vag birth. Stool softeners are a must, it hurts to use your abs and the pain meds are constipating as well. Stay up on your pain meds, I set timers on my phone so I wouldn't forget to take them. Also you can put a little water in a baby diaper and free it to use as an ice pack for your vag to help with the pain.

@southernyankeegirl‌
Breastfeeding- I've never had colostrum before giving birth. I BF my DS1 for 14 months and am pumping/bfing my twins. I have an awesome supply so I really don't think it matters. As far as nipple shields I have used them both times. I wouldn't go out and purchase them ahead of time because it's better to do it without and only use it if you have to. Plus the hospital gave me one both times. The only thing my hospital doesn't provide is nursing pads so I always bring mine because my milk comes in 48hrs after birth. Also for bfing get a good water bottles and snacks, you will want to stay hydrated and bfing will make you so hungry.

Pintobean39

The only thing I can contribute is the personal care. PreparationH was the one thing I needed the most after delivery. Way back when I had my boys I was given a water bottle that I filled with warm water and betadine to use after I peed to wash off. I didn't have but one stitch with my oldest and none with my second but was swollen and wiping was uncomfortable so drenching down and blotting was my friend. Definitely stoole softeners and suppositories if you are on pain killers, my colon won't move at all on it's own when I'm on pain killers. I also remember thinking I'd have a heavy period afterwards so I had huge pads but didn't need them but some smaller ones.

mdiblasi10

We registered at Amazon and loved it.

With DS, we lived in our first house with all tile floors and a leather couch that we could just wipe. Breastmilk spit up definitely stained a lot of things though - I don't have any natural suggestions that worked for me. We just kept towels and the old school cloth diapers everywhere. I had a happy spitter and he didn't stop until he was one!

I had a c-section, so the only at-home care items (besides breastfeeding stuff) I used were pads and my belly binder they gave me at the hospital.

I didn't have any carpal tunnel issues so no advice there.

@southernyankeegirl‌ I did not leak or see any colostrum before birth and I breastfed my son. My milk came in 3-4 days after his birth. The only things I had ahead of time were my pump and the breast pads. I ended up ordering the Lanolin and gel soothies and loved them both for my comfort. As for the shields, I didn't ever need them. But I had a friend who did because of her anatomy. I think the advice from my LC was the most useful "tool" once I was home. She helped so much. I know it's so hard when baby is not here and you just can't know ahead of time if it will work out. Even with this being my second, I have nightmares that I haven't fed my baby and my milk is all gone. Your determination and support will play a big part Good luck!

CandaceC1020

@AMShark - I'm a graduate now.    Alaina Grace was born on 12.23.14 at 11:35 pm after almost 32 hours of labor. 

Registry - We registered at Target and Babies R Us.  Target has great prices, Babies R Us gave us horrible customer service.  We are still waiting for our Registry Rewards giftcard from Babies R Us and I'm about to start sending emails asking where my money is.  Target sent us a few different coupon booklets and they contained multiple 15% off any registry purchase coupons.  These have been a good deal when combined with Target coupons, manufacturer coupons and cartwheel.  

Personal Care Products -

1.  I CANNOT STRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF STOOL SOFTENERS.  Buy colace.  Take it every day.  Start taking it immediately after birth with approval from your doctor.  I'd even recommend buying prune juice too.  You have no idea of what horrible pain you could feel when trying to have your first BM.  It was one week before I was able to have a BM.  Most horrible thing ....  It was three days later before I was able to take my next BM.   I'm going on another two day streak and it's painful.  

2.  Pads.  I'd recommend buying at least one pack of heavy duty, long, overnight pads just in case.  Some folks only bleed for a small period of time while others like me are going on two weeks of bleeding.  The hospital will give you some pads, but they didn't give me a ton and I needed more.

3.  If you're planning on breastfeeding, get some breast cream.  The initial latching is a little much at first and your nipples may be a bit sore.  I love Medela Tender Care cream.  

4.  Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm.  If you end up with hemorrhoids, this stuff helps and cools your bottom.  

hugmonkey

I did not have colostrum before giving birth (but my daughter was premature). It took almost a week for my milk to come in, but I was able to successfully bf my daughter and did so until she was 20 months. I didn't wind up using breast pads more than a couple of times. I didn't find any of the nipple creams to help (mine didn't crack or anything, but they were tie-curlingly painful). If normal nipple creams don't work for you, you can ask your dr or lc to prescribe apno cream.

AMShark

@CandaceC1020 - Congratulations!  I was trying to stalk you for a birth announcement, but I didn't see one.

Happy graduation to you and Alaina Grace!

katekat8721

Registry

I did Target, BBB, BRU and Amazon. The only ones I 'gave out' were Target and BBB. The BRU and Amazon I used just for the completion coupons :P BRU was nice because they were having a deal where whatever people spent, you got 10% back on a gift card later. I used that to buy my double stroller. Target was a PITA with returns. BBB was super easy, but things were a little pricier. Overall I was happy with BBB though. I'd recommend NOT doubling on items. You WILL get 4 boppys Try to have your shower early enough (beginning of third tri or so) that way you can do all the returns when you still feel good.  Cleaning

I invested in a carpet spot cleaner machine and it has been worth it's weight in gold. You can just fill it with hot water and it does it's thing.  https://www.amazon.com/BISSELL-Spotbot-Handsfree-Technology-33N8A/dp/B003Y3AA2S Otherwise, I use Dr. Bronner's soap for cleaning most things.  Carpal Tunnel / Wrists / Hands Carpal tunnel is really rough, there's unfortunately not much you can do. Near the end I wore splints at night and at work (I type all day). It helped a bit. Try to do hand stretches before bed and right when you wake up. It really just sucks though Normal for hands to fall asleep and get tingly at night. Never really found a way around it other than to 'shake' them a bit to try to get feeling back.  Take baths if they make you feel better. MILs don't need to know all things :P  Personal Care Products Grab everything you can from the hospital! Every night have DH load up a duffel bag of the diapers, pads for you, etc. Everything you don't use they have to legally toss, so it's yours anyways. Here's some stuff off the top of my head they have: diapers, formula, peri bottles (get two), newborn bath stuff, bulb syringes, mesh undies (grab a lot), serious pads (grab a lot), compression belt (grab one post c-section). Just ask your nurse, she'll bring you everything if they don't already have it out. I wouldn't use depends, you're going to be all ick down there and sweaty and just ew, no, don't. The mesh underwear are really good and their pads are super long and absorbant. The peri bottle filled with warm water feels good (even post c-section lol). Make sure at home you stay on top of the meds, use your peris, get comfy clothes easy that won't touch a potential c-section scar and that you can open easily for nursing. I didn't have a vaginal so can't speak for padscicles or whatever.  Take stool softener, even if you think you don't need it. You do, trust me. Drink tons of water and buy fenugreek and mother's milk tea if you plan on nursing.  Try to make some meals in advance if you can and freeze them. You won't feel like cooking!

AMShark

Thanks for all the feed back from the BTDT moms.

@southernyankeegirl - I added your breastfeeding question to the initial question post so it would be more prominent if we get more participants.

Gregermis

I loved our amazon registry, but also did bru for the older generation folk who didn't want to go online. SIL put down that I was registered at target and bru so that was a mess.

On colostrum. I wouldn't expect it to leak out. Try squeezing the base of your nipple gently. I did this once for I can't remember why and low and behold a drop came out. Somewhere after 30wks. I kept doing it after every shower cuz I was so tickled by this. Lactation nurse who admitted this to after M was born said that was a fantastic and the only thing better would have been to do a little more around 40wks and freeze it. You really don't get much so I'm not sure I would do that if and when #2 comes along

AmCheri

FTM Group Questions: (Btw, this is a great post.  We didn't have this kind of thing when we had our daughter in 2013.  Very helpful!)

Registry

We registered at Buy Buy Baby and Pottery Barn Kids.  I liked the brand selection at BBB, but the prices were high.  Many of the same items were available elsewhere, like through Amazon, through much lower prices.  If I had to register again, I think I'd create an Amazon registry.  PBK was fine, but it's mostly specialty items.  We registered for more decorative and fun things there, like a cute rocker and a giant farm animal stacker.  Definitely not necessary, but the registry itself was trouble free.

Cleaning

For cleaning products generally speaking, I love Dapple.  They have the best dish soap that will get your bottles, nipples, sippies, etc. squeaky clean without toxic and harsh chemicals.  We use the full line of cleaning products.  Carpal Tunnel / Wrists / Hands I dealt with this, too, but don't have any helpful advice beyond what you already know.  I always worse a splint to bed and on really bad days, I kept the splint on.  My hands/wrists were always falling asleep at night.  Baths are not a problem so long as they aren't hot.  If it makes you feel better, there's no reason you can't continue with them. Personal Care Products I ended up having an unplanned c-section, so I can't help with products for a vaginal birth.  For both, however, Colace is a must!  Take it the day you give birth.  You might also want to have some Gas-X on hand.  Buy comfortable underwear ahead of time and ask the hospital to give you all the mesh underwear you can get your hands on.  For c-section mommas, buy a belly binder and bring it with you to the hospital, or ask the hospital for one right away.  It makes all the difference in the world.  I wore mine for the first couple of weeks PP. Breast Feeding If you can, do skin-to-skin contact as quickly as possible following birth.  Get baby on your breast within the first hour.  Ask to meet with the hospital LC the day your baby is born and check in with the LC each day you're in the hospital.  Ask her to check for a good latch and to help you position the baby if you're having trouble.  I wouldn't spend much money on products ahead of time because you won't know what you'll need until you get there.  Nipple balm is a must, however.

AMShark

Thanks, again, to the BTDT mom's - I love to see your contributions.

@AmCheri - I wish I could take credit for this idea, but I can't.  And embarrassingly, I can't even remember who suggested it, but it's really worked out so far.

QOTW:  I always forget this, much like I forget a whole lot of things.  Perhaps my New Year's Resolution should be to get more organized, and be better at meeting deadlines. Actually posting this thread on a Thursday would be a good start....   

Robeano

I can offer a different perspective on personal care. I had a c-section. I found those little alcohol wipes packages were best for the continued cleaning of the wound. If your hubby is not squeamish I suggest you ask him to clean it morning and night for a while. Cuz bending hurts. Also, holding a pillow to your abdomen is great to help ease pain while laughing, sneezing and coughing. Try the football hold while nursing directly after a c-section if it is painful to hold out front. 

For nursing, I never leaked at all with first pregnancy, heck I'm not leaking with this pregnancy. My milk came in late. And I still managed to nurse until 19 months. Some times that's just the way it is.

AmCheri

Robeano said:

I can offer a different perspective on personal care. I had a c-section. I found those little alcohol wipes packages were best for the continued cleaning of the wound. If your hubby is not squeamish I suggest you ask him to clean it morning and night for a while. Cuz bending hurts. Also, holding a pillow to your abdomen is great to help ease pain while laughing, sneezing and coughing. Try the football hold while nursing directly after a c-section if it is painful to hold out front. 

For nursing, I never leaked at all with first pregnancy, heck I'm not leaking with this pregnancy. My milk came in late. And I still managed to nurse until 19 months. Some times that's just the way it is.

How soon after the csection were you able to try to nurse? Did you use a pump in he hospital?

luvboston

You can nurse once you get into recovery. I pumped when I was in recovery and throughout my stay.

Robeano

AmCheri I spent about half an hour after they removed her in the OR with hubby and the baby, like after they cleaned her up and what not. Then after I was finished being sewn up, hubby took baby and did skin to skin while the midwives ran apgar tests on her. I ended up in recovery for about half hour-forty five minutes (I think they let me go early) and as soon as I was back in my room they immediately brought her to me to nurse. So all in all about an hour to an hour and a half after she was born I was nursing her.

I did have a rough start to nursing, and the hospital had me pumping on my second day after delivery. DD wasn't gaining weight, she wasn't nursing from the left side and my milk came in late. Turned out she had a tongue tie that got missed. I also had flat nipples, with the left side being worse than the right. But all of this being said, we made it work, it took us 3 weeks before everything was okay. And that was me being on Domparidone, seeing lactation consultants and DD having her tongue tie released. So my point is, no matter how bad it seems, if this is something you really want to do/feel passionate about. You can likely make it work, but it might take a while.

CandaceC1020

@Southernyankeegirl - Don't worry mama!  I did not show any signs of colostrum.  I was worried I was not going to have any luck breastfeeding,  I was more worried about breastfeeding than I was giving birth.  All of my worries were for nothing.  

Alaina's birth was pretty scary.  We did not get the chance to do skin to skin immediately after birth.  I wasn't able to truly hold her until about two hours after her birth.  When I did get her, I wanted to attempt to feed immediately.  We were lucky, she latched on like a champ and stayed on for a while.  

I didn't get a nipple shield and still don't have one.  We don't have a need for one.  She's able to latch on well and get what she needs.  We did have some pacifiers and have used them infrequently - she loves to suckle and it's not always appropriate for me to pull a boob out and let her soothe herself.  

I highly recommend asking for a visit from the lactation consultant if your hospital/birthing center has one.  We took a class with our LC and she was able to come in the day after birth and confirm that we were doing everything correctly.  I felt much better when I received the reassurance that I was doing things right.  

I will tell you that breastfeeding is one of the most amazing feelings and probably one of my favorite times with Alaina.  Knowing that she needs me and that this is 'our' time is the best.  Her little hand almost always ends up on my hand that supports my breast and it melts my heart. I can't wait for you to experience this feeling with your little one.  

Justone13

@amshark Can I be added to this please? This is an awesome group. I feel like I just learned a ton of info off of one post! Thank you!