And now let's talk about pacifiers...

Klavanga74

Something I wanted kid #3 to take SOOOO badly, because kids #1 and #2 had no interest, is biting me in my larger-than-I'd-like ass!  Argh!  It seems like overnight LO went from sleeping great (at least a 7 hour stretch and then another 3 hour stretch and 10 hours without eating) to needing that damn thing every 45 minutes and not napping well.  Anyone else had this problem?  We're going to take it away, but I'm not a huge fan of letting her cry at this age (11 weeks) but also not wanting to give her another crutch.  She's still swaddled and her hands go right to her mouth when she's not, but she's not at the point of learning to soothe herself with her hands yet, so I'm hesitant to take the swaddle away.  What do paci-savvy Moms have to say on this one...or other tired moms want to commiserate?

golfingdarwinfish

I don't think an 11 week old, sans ability to self soothe, is capable of having a "crutch".

I have to back out of this because I'm awed and bothered with nothing nice to say.

cmac6186

10hrs is a long time for not eating. I'm assuming LO is FF? Otherwise the problem is probably hunger not missing the paci

Klavanga74

Yes, she's formula fed and definitely not hungry.  We are not withholding food...we were feeding her but she was consistently only taking an ounce and then spitting it out.  At this point, she's fully waking and showing hunger at anywhere from 5-5:45 and even then spitting it out after 2 ounces, max.  Then goes back to sleep.  

Not quite sure why this would be so offensive/annoying, etc.  She definitely is at a point where she's relying on something to fall/stay asleep that she can't maintain without me assisting her many times per night...that's what I'm defining as a crutch, but whatever.

Klavanga74

Oh, and another reason why it's definitely the paci and not hunger...I sat in there during naps and for quite awhile at night last night to see what was going on...paci in...suck suck suck, fall totally asleep, stop sucking, falls out, she'd start to squirm, head back and forth...wake up and start to cry until paci gets stuck back in.  Daytime waking was happening within a couple of minutes.  Night was following her sleep cycles...about every 45 minutes.

Klavanga74

Ok...I'll say again...we offer food but she's not taking it. She pretty much falls right back to sleep whether she's sucking on a bottle or pacifier. We have never and will never withhold food from our babies. I feed her according to her hunger cues. If she doesn't take it I don't push. I EBF both my other kids and I couldn't this time for a variety of reasons. I'm very conscious of her intake but also don't want to force her to eat. I probably shouldn't be taking the bait and get pulled in here, but whether we are internet strangers to each other or not, the thought of ANYONE thinking I'm withholding food from my kid upsets me.

mari1014

Try a wubanub lay her on her tummy with the animal tucked under her arm

vrj0522

mari1014 said:

Try a wubanub lay her on her tummy with the animal tucked under her arm

What kind of terrible advice is this? Babies should not be sleeping on their tummies.

OP - There is nothing else that you can do but wean baby of paci if you don't like sticking it back into her mouth. Sadly, most babies go through a stage like that of needing someone to pop that thing back in because they can't do it themselves. 

pnwlover12

Babies need help with falling asleep and being soothed. I do not think using a paci on an 11 week old is a "crutch". Also, it's possible that he may only want an oz or so, and just needs to "fill the tank" before going back to sleep.

lrobi13

My lo uses a paci all day but he does not sleep with one at night.  I rock him to sleep for a few minutes and the paci falls out.  Then I rock him for a few minutes and then put him in bed (he does wake up during the transition but is relaxed enough that he falls to sleep instantly).

I guess weaning your lo from sleeping with the paci is the best answer if the paci falling out cause such a big sleep disruption. 

Sounds like you have some long nights ahead.  Sorry you are having this problem. 

bumpuser10309732

@Irobi13 You've set a precedent. No comments without a GIF 

golfingdarwinfish

lrobi13 said:

My lo uses a paci all day but he does not sleep with one at night.  I rock him to sleep for a few minutes and the paci falls out.  Then I rock him for a few minutes and then put him in bed (he does wake up during the transition but is relaxed enough that he falls to sleep instantly).

I guess weaning your lo from sleeping with the paci is the best answer if the paci falling out cause such a big sleep disruption. 

Sounds like you have some long nights ahead.  Sorry you are having this problem. 

It's not just a disruption - it's a crutch!!!!!!

golfingdarwinfish

Did you use your breast to soothe the EBF babies? Or did you see that as a crutch also?

pnwlover12

golfingdarwinfish said:

Did you use your breast to soothe the EBF babies? Or did you see that as a crutch also?

Lmao.

sweetsurprise2014

My LO loves his paci and often likes to sleep with it. I don't see it as a problem right now, but then again he isn't waking up in the middle of the night constantly when it falls out. The falling out issue usually happens when he's awake or is sleepy.  Once he's in a deep sleep he doesn't really care about the paci.  

Has your paci issue been ongoing?  Maybe your LO just had a few rough nights. My feeling is that it isn't an exclusively paci-related issue, but good luck with better sleep.  There's nothing worse than feeling like zombie-mom.

golfingdarwinfish

Also, when DS does that it's usually an indicator that a larger need isn't being met - he's either hungry, or overtired or whatnot, and those things are preventing him from self soothing or overruling the self soothing and need to be tended to. The pacifier dropping and crying is the communication.

sabby2

I agree that it sounds like maybe he's needing something. My dd spits out her paci if she's hungry. Sometimes she will take a whole feeding, sometimes she just wants a snack. Other times she just wants to be snuggled and rocked back to sleep and sometimes she just wants her paci. She's 12 weeks and has gone back to waking up more (just in time for my to return to work).

In short, I think it's probably just normal baby behavior. Like pp's said, baby sleep habits change. It's hard being tired especially when you were used to longer stretches of sleep but take heart knowing it will eventually pass.

Klavanga74

Yup, sure did - my kids love a good crutch or two...

I did talk to the ped today and he said a couple of things I wanted to share in case it helps anyone else with reflux babies.  First, PP's who said it sounds like she's needing something are likely right and I was not dismissing that, which is part of why I called him.  He said a couple of interesting and helpful things.  First, while some reflux babies will want to eat more, some will naturally lean towards a large break at night and that it gives their systems a rest and time to heal.  In his opinion, that's what she's doing which is why she's spitting out the bottle.  Her sudden need for the paci may be because we missed a couple of doses of zantac or that we need to up the dosage and that the sucking is relieving her discomfort.  So, there's an element of "suck it up for now" and he advised to watch closely for signs that she's feeling better and then limit the paci to avoid it becoming something she's waking up for several times a night - you know, a crutch.

I realize I'm oversensitive, but I've been on this board for a long time, avoiding asking stupid questions, searching threads before I ask, participating when I can, offering support when I can, asking questions when I need to - basically following the rules.  I've really liked this board and I think it's too bad that some of you would rail on someone pretty hard who's been around a long time and has basically shown themselves to not be an asshole.  

golfingdarwinfish said:

Did you use your breast to soothe the EBF babies? Or did you see that as a crutch also?

bumpuser10309732

Klavanga74 said:

Yup, sure did - my kids love a good crutch or two...

I did talk to the ped today and he said a couple of things I wanted to share in case it helps anyone else with reflux babies.  First, PP's who said it sounds like she's needing something are likely right and I was not dismissing that, which is part of why I called him.  He said a couple of interesting and helpful things.  First, while some reflux babies will want to eat more, some will naturally lean towards a large break at night and that it gives their systems a rest and time to heal.  In his opinion, that's what she's doing which is why she's spitting out the bottle.  Her sudden need for the paci may be because we missed a couple of doses of zantac or that we need to up the dosage and that the sucking is relieving her discomfort.  So, there's an element of "suck it up for now" and he advised to watch closely for signs that she's feeling better and then limit the paci to avoid it becoming something she's waking up for several times a night - you know, a crutch.

I realize I'm oversensitive, but I've been on this board for a long time, avoiding asking stupid questions, searching threads before I ask, participating when I can, offering support when I can, asking questions when I need to - basically following the rules.  I've really liked this board and I think it's too bad that some of you would rail on someone pretty hard who's been around a long time and has basically shown themselves to not be an asshole.  

golfingdarwinfish said:

Did you use your breast to soothe the EBF babies? Or did you see that as a crutch also?

Sorry you take offense to people getting upset. Your doctor even said that she is sucking because it's relieving her pain. So if she's falling asleep because she feels better sucking, and then spits the paci out. I think she's waking up out of discomfort not because she is just needlessly looking for the paci (which by definition is a crutch) With that being said I really hope upping her dosage makes her feel better and if not that you just continue to figure out what the issue is instead of just going ah well, she just wants her paci that she doesn't need. I think you can see how that would piss people off. The paci isn't an "addiction" at this point which is how that makes it sound.

golfingdarwinfish

It's your choice of the word crutch. It has such negative connotations and it makes it sound like your child is weak and therefor needs something to lean on or whatnot. That sounds awful when you're talking about an 11 week old with few ways to express their needs. You sounded like you're deciding between crying it out at 11 weeks or giving into her needs, which frankly, made you sound awful. Especially when LO may be crying because you're forgetting meds.

Even regs get called out for their shit. I would call out a reg for saying their 11 week old was developing a crutch. No one is immune to honesty or being called out when they should like an a-hole.

lrobi13

MrsBabe614 said:

@Irobi13 You've set a precedent. No comments without a GIF 

ishknits

I don't really understand why people are on the OPs ass. Seems like they are taking semantics way too personally and people are sounding pretty pretentious. :-@

My baby wriggles when he's still hungry at night. Maybe she's not taking the bottle bc she likes the paci better? Idk sometimes my DS rejects the bottle at first but I mean if your LO is spitting up then she's prob not hungry. If I know my sons not hungry then I lay my hand on his chest if he's almost asleep but if he's wriggling I pick him up til he falls asleep or calms down. Maybe the paci is soothing gas pains that she feels once it falls out? You just have to try different things

2goingon3

If he's FF and sleeping 7 hrs waking up, getting a paci and then sleeping for 3 more, you should try feeding him a couple ounces and seeing if he sleeps longer. As your baby grows, his sleep stretch will increase to 12 hours, but at 11weeks, he could just need a top up.

angeltennis3

I have to agree 10 hours is a long time to go without eating. Even if your LO just takes an oz or two that maybe what they need.

With the paci, I have noticed someties the act of the paci falling out can wake dd (because it will hit her face on the way down) So I will usually try to rock her to sleep then if she falls asleep with the paci still in I will slowly pull it out before setting her down. Most of the time she stays asleep, but if not I give her the paci back and start over.

Klavanga74

@theresat898...She'd been pretty consistent in her bahavior with the paci until a couple of days ago...she'd suck until she was almost really soundly asleep then spit it out and totally relax.  As if she were telling me she was done and ready to be put down.  And usually that's when I could put her down and she'd be settled.  Sometimes I'd have to put it in during the night but not very often and she'd do the same thing...suck for a little bit, spit out and totally settle.  

As for the food suggestions...I will continue to offer it and if she takes an ounce, she takes an ounce.  Maybe she's hungry, though, the ped seems to think not and she's gained 6 pounds since birth - she's not small.  However, I don't go by what the scale says, I go by her cues and will always feed her when she wants it.  What I don't think is normal or good for her or us is to be waking every 45 minutes.  She's not getting the restful sleep she's used to and is a different baby. Of course, this is likely a phase and may be related to the reflux and like i said, just calls for us to suck it up and deal with the lack of sleep and do the best we can for our girl.  

Klavanga74

Oh, and definitely NO to the stomach wubanub suggestion....there are so many things not okay with that one that I don't mean to be unkind, but I hope it was a joke.

hecklet

mari1014 said:

Try a wubanub lay her on her tummy with the animal tucked under her arm

Maybe I'm wrong here but I read this post as to lay the wubanub on Lo's tummy and tuck under their arm? I hope to god that's what the poster meant.

BreandMikewedding

Lo will sometimes not want his paci and wants an ounce or two of formula instead. I call it his night cap. Lol

golfingdarwinfish

FamousEa said:

Uh oh.

Lol!

@famousea @kaylajadeIdon'trememberallthenumbersinyourusername

Eh, I'm too pretentious to dignify it with a response.

ishknits

golfingdarwinfish said:

FamousEa said:

Kaylajade8911 said:

Uh oh.

Lol!

@famousea @kaylajadeIdon'trememberallthenumbersinyourusername

Eh, I'm too pretentious to dignify it with a response.

Phew.

slsl509

If you want to see a paci as a crutch, come to my house where my almost 3 year old still has hers. oyyyyy.  The wubbanub helped her keep it in...and was great for that...and now here we are.

#nothingusefultoadd

MrsSinner402

ishknits said:

golfingdarwinfish said:

FamousEa said:

Kaylajade8911 said:

Uh oh.

Lol!

@famousea @kaylajadeIdon'trememberallthenumbersinyourusername

Eh, I'm too pretentious to dignify it with a response.

Phew.

Saragoeswest

hecklet said:

mari1014 said:

Try a wubanub lay her on her tummy with the animal tucked under her arm

Maybe I'm wrong here but I read this post as to lay the wubanub on Lo's tummy and tuck under their arm? I hope to god that's what the poster meant.

This is how I read it, too. But I see how it could be read both ways. Thanks to zero punctuation.

golfingdarwinfish

ishknits said:

Did you use your breast to soothe the EBF babies? Or did you see that as a crutch also?

Really I don't know what makes you think you can talk to people like this. Idk if you were trying to sound witty, but you just sound like an asshole. This woman was not saying her husband just slapped her kid or that she hasn't fed her in three days, she was talking about a pacifier. But you had to get on some crutch police shit and belittle her because I guess that's the way you like to educate people. In 10 years they are going to think everything we did to our kids is ill-informed and dangerous so the stuck up, know-it-all attitude isn't at all necessary. And I really hope you don't talk to people like this in real life because if I saw you at the playground I would roll my eyes and tell you to go on, girl. And to all the other women who thought her attitude was so effing LOL you can go the fuck on, too.

Your hostility and tirade about a well placed analogy is actually pretty amusing.  Asking if she offered her breast as a means to soothe her 11 week old breast fed babies or if she perceived that as a crutch also is neither belittling nor sounding like an asshole.  A breast to soothe vs. pacifier to soothe analogy is just that, an analogy.

If anything your post shows that you've been harboring some sort of anger or resentment towards me because it's full of overkill and frankly, more a reflection upon you than me.

ishknits

golfingdarwinfish said:

lrobi13 said:

My lo uses a paci all day but he does not sleep with one at night.  I rock him to sleep for a few minutes and the paci falls out.  Then I rock him for a few minutes and then put him in bed (he does wake up during the transition but is relaxed enough that he falls to sleep instantly).

I guess weaning your lo from sleeping with the paci is the best answer if the paci falling out cause such a big sleep disruption. 

Sounds like you have some long nights ahead.  Sorry you are having this problem. 

It's not just a disruption - it's a crutch!!!!!!

Honey please.. Trying to act like you weren't being passive aggressive in all your previous posts (remember everyone LOLing?) is ridiculous.

[Deleted User]

Honey? I feel like I'm watching Maury and I gave that up as one of my resolutions.

MrsSinner402

MrsSinner402

Andplusalso, @ishknits‌ if anyone can "go the fuck on", its you. We've all been around a lot longer than you have. And we all know and love @golfingdarwinfish‌ . So, :-h

[Deleted User]

Sinner, I thought I'd come here and see you handing out dicks to eat.

MrsSinner402

apk4 said:

Sinner, I thought I'd come here and see you handing out dicks to eat.

Check out my last post in randoms.

golfingdarwinfish

ishknits said:

My lo uses a paci all day but he does not sleep with one at night.  I rock him to sleep for a few minutes and the paci falls out.  Then I rock him for a few minutes and then put him in bed (he does wake up during the transition but is relaxed enough that he falls to sleep instantly).

I guess weaning your lo from sleeping with the paci is the best answer if the paci falling out cause such a big sleep disruption. 

Sounds like you have some long nights ahead.  Sorry you are having this problem. 

It's not just a disruption - it's a crutch!!!!!!

Honey please.. Trying to act like you weren't being passive aggressive in all your previous posts (remember everyone LOLing?) is ridiculous.

So now I'm also responsible for the actions of others, or when someone finds something I say to be amusing and posts "LOL"?

When I'm aggressive I'm pretty honest about it.  That wasn't passive aggressive.  If the OP didn't want to be quoted she shouldn't have used the word "crutch".  Let's not forget that this is an internet message board so tone and intent aren't really obvious, therefore we do often rely on the actual printed word or "semantics".  

But please, continue with your tirade because you're really pointing out how I'm the stuck up one who is belittling people and sounding like an asshole.  You definitely opted for a very effective approach.