Go or skip developmental assessment

brachysira

SAHMs--I know you represent a wide group--my BMB will tell me to skip and Special Needs will tell me to go.  What do you think?

M was born 8 weeks early, which means we get a general developmental assessment from time to time.  She is scheduled for her 2 y.o. appt in a month, after she turns 2.  At her 12 month appt, she would not do the tests at all.  The person was assessing her and writing with a pen where M could reach it, and since pens were forbidden in our house, M really wanted her pen.  Plus, she had a big box of toys in the assessment kit, but wouldn't let M get them out--just wanted her to do the tasks with the toy on the table.  M kept trying to crawl under the table to get the box.  She cried and cried when the person kept telling her no.  The person then told me no 12 month old had behaved worse and that I had a discipline problem and I had better get it under control before high school.  

M was upset so would not cooperate on the hearing test that was scheduled next and so got a "fail" although it was just because she did not keep the things in her ears.  The main doctor then saw her, said she probably had an ear infection, which would explain her behavior and the hearing fail, and then spent 20 minutes with the nurse and I trying to hold down M so that he could look in her ears while M screamed and cried and squirmed.  He ended up cutting her ear, told me she did have an infection, and that we needed to get her to the pediatrician's office ASAP.  Then the developmental assessor popped back in to say that, oh, that's why your child was so ill-behaved.  I, personally, knew she did not have an ear infection, and also did not think of M as a terrible behavior problem...we just kept things that she wasn't allowed to have out of sight and we didn't have major issues.  I took her to the pedi anyway, who told me that M did not have an ear infection and that she was not delayed and that we did not need to go to the clinic anymore because it was just a lot of stress for us.

As the next test nears, I am pretty sure that she will not do the tests again.  I can't be sure, but she tends to be pretty demanding about doing things her way.  I do not think M is delayed, although she isn't very easy to understand when she speaks, so this is one way we could start the path to a speech therapist, although she probably would not qualify for Early On at this point.  It will make me feel bad if they say M is delayed when she isn't, and it makes me feel bad, too, when they say she is a behavior-problem.  I do worry that M might end up with ADHD or something but I do not believe 2 year-olds can be diagnosed with this, and I think that things like going to preschool will be a good test of whether M actually has a behavior problem.  Right now she is a little more high spirited and active than some almost-2 year-olds, but I think her behavior falls within the realm of normal.  

If she does the tests, the information we will get is along the lines of whether she is like an 18 month old or a 24 month old, etc. with respect to gross motor, fine motor, cognitive skills, etc.  There is no formal behavioral evaluation, although they would probably refer us for more tests if they observed something to merit them.

Should we go or cancel?  Thanks for reading.

hillgirl322

Is there another clinic that could perform the assessment given the difficulties with the personnel from last time?

Personally, I would complete it. My DD was diagnosed with an unnamed chromosomal abnormality around 9 months. She was seen by numerous specialists and sent for similar testing. They were able to see delays that I was oblivious to. Additionally, as she got older she started struggling in other areas. They were able to catch these struggles and react immediately.

We worked with EI for many years and eventually when she started pre-school she started with an IEP. Since then she has made tremendous progress and began 1st grade without her IEP.

Should she begin to fall behind again, everything is well documented and we will not need to go through rounds of evaluations again. Documentation is key to fighting for services when and if your daughter eventually need services.

Sorry about the book, but again I would go.

NicoleWI

IF there is nowhere else to go, i would skip it. Sounds awful. However, I do agree that I would rather get it done, if there is any other option.

UnofficiallyLO

Agreed with getting it done somewhere else. It sounds necessary but that you need more understanding nurses/whomever performing the tests.

brachysira

Thank you all for the advice.  There is no where else we can go unless we wanted to get on a list of see a development pedi or something, and we don't have any specific reason to do that.  We can have Early On come see her for speech, although they don't really have a reputation for being nice around here either.  I think we'll probably keep the appointment, but I'll just have to be one of those moms who is really tough and I'll tell the doctor, no, I don't want you looking in her ears if she doesn't want you to, and I'll tell the assessor that we're proud of M's independence and we aren't worried that she has her own ideas about how to play.  I'm pretty sure we'll learn nothing but I am hoping we can learn what to do about her speech, and then perhaps the speech therapy people can direct us if, given more time with her, they observe anything else.  I have done a bit of research on some of the developmental tests and I know that at peak performance, she would score well, so we'll just get what we get and assume it's all good.

Keeptruckin

I agree the clinicians don't seem to have a great bedside manner. However, you do sound defensive and I can guarantee they are not making up things. If they say your daughter is behaviourally different than most kids at that age, she probably is. That doesn't mean anything yet but you will want answers sooner than later. We always knew my daughter was way more spirited and active than kids her age. She finally got her ASD dx this year. I wish we could have taken advantage of all the early interventions.

Meery82

Did you have your pedi confirm that there was no ear infection?

Knottie48097161

There are some massive red flags in your post and yes you need to go.

MesmrEwe

IMO even if you need to drive further - you should do the evaluation given that there are some flags happening in the behavior department.  HOWEVER I'd never step foot in that clinic again given what you've said because you do need to have a team doing the evaluations who understands toddler behavior.  Even if you have to wait longer for an appointment that's better than dealing with people who don't like dealing with kids, and especially ones who suck at dealing with young kids.  And, I don't care if it was just a scratch, if they cut my kid's ear while trying to look inside them - yea no...

smerka

My son reacted in a similar way at that age, but not quite as bad. He was diagnosed at 4.5 with autism. We started with speech issues, then OT, then the autism diagnosis. I would get the assessment done. You might be able to find a private speech therapist who could do an independent assessment.

brachysira

So the answer some questions above--no, she did not have an ear infection as confirmed by the pedi one day later.  

As for why we think she could have ADHD--we don't really--it's just that DH and I are both slightly that way and she does run laps around the living room while watching TV.  She still watches tho.  I really don't think any toddler can be diagnosed with ADHD with any accuracy.  She can sit for hours and listen to books and can complete short art projects, and I think that sitting for a short time is more than anyone really should expect for under 2.  

The thing about what they told us when she was 12 months...it was like, yeah, she's very smart and not delayed but just bratty and that's your fault mom.  So they didn't tell us to be concerned.  They told us to have more discipline at home.  

I think there is a chance we will see different people at this assessment, so we're going.  It doesn't cost.  If it is really terrible, we'll see what else we can do.  I know that I am not expert, but she goes to a play group with a developmental specialist, she takes music with kids her age, and we have tons of play groups, and although she does run around much more, she also participates much more, and no one who has interacted with her has suggested any concerns except the person who called her a brat at 12 months.