27 weeks pregnant & my bf left me.

jessscastaneda

I just need a little advice on what I'm going through..

3 weeks ago my bf of almost 5 years, and father to my 3 year old daughter decided he didn't want to be with me. I'm 27 weeks pregnant and he's denying that it's his child now. We're young parents who have really gone through a lot more than anyone would like to so I try to convince myself that he got scared of the reality and ran for the easy route. He's seeing another woman already, which is KILLING ME. I begged him countless times to give our family a chance, and finally I gave up begging 4 days ago and I have had no contact since. When I asked if he still loves me, he always says yes which is just confusing. I just want my family. Has anyone had there bf's leave them and come back ?

Helenahhandbasket

I am sorry you are going through this.  I have not gone through this myself, but I am a single mom.

First, stop begging.  Don't ever do that again.

Second, if you are close with your family, lean on them for a while.  If not, call on your friends to help get you through.

I know it's hard, and you are sad, but your kiddos need you right now.  You can do this.

sweetmama101226

I'm sorry you are going through this tough situation and hope for the best!!

jessscastaneda

We have had issues like all couples. We recently had our home go into foreclosure, money issues, I will admit I closed myself off some and we weren't having sex like before (that's his reason on denying his son) but I never thought it was something we couldn't work out. I guess I'm naive, or hopeful. When you love someone you work out your differences. I'm cry myself to sleep everyday, and wake up sick every morning. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. How can someone just walk away from there family like that ? I just don't understand. I would have never done such a thing. I'm almost 7 months pregnant, I feel like the least he could have done was sucked it up until after the holidays at least. I don't mean to sound pathetic but i feel like he should have considered his daughter and putting her through this during this time of year.

Helenahhandbasket

jessscastaneda said:

We have had issues like all couples. We recently had our home go into foreclosure, money issues, I will admit I closed myself off some and we weren't having sex like before (that's his reason on denying his son) but I never thought it was something we couldn't work out. I guess I'm naive, or hopeful. When you love someone you work out your differences. I'm cry myself to sleep everyday, and wake up sick every morning. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. How can someone just walk away from there family like that ? I just don't understand. I would have never done such a thing. I'm almost 7 months pregnant, I feel like the least he could have done was sucked it up until after the holidays at least. I don't mean to sound pathetic but i feel like he should have considered his daughter and putting her through this during this time of year.

I hear you on this, but then it would have been something else, and then something else...

Look, I am the one that left my H.  I just fell out of love.  We did a year of counceling, and it took me a long time to come to terms with what I had to do-- because it never seemed like a good time to leave (we were together almost 9 years to the day that I decided to leave, and married 6.5).

It's shitty that he's denying paternity, so get your wits about you and figure out the next steps you need to take to establish paternity--he needs to handle his business.

Next, get angry.  Maybe that's not the best advice, and maybe it won't work for everyone, but let that anger motivate you.  Let it light the fire under you to get through the rest of this pregnancy, get yourself together and to go after his dumb ass for child support.

 

hetispagetti

Helenahhandbasket said:

I am sorry you are going through this.  I have not gone through this myself, but I am a single mom.

First, stop begging.  Don't ever do that again.

Second, if you are close with your family, lean on them for a while.  If not, call on your friends to help get you through.

I know it's hard, and you are sad, but your kiddos need you right now.  You can do this.

All that ^^^

Whitfry

Try this website: www.survivinginfidelity.com

They have excellent forums and support.

PrimRoseMama

Why would you want this piece of shit back? He's a coward that turned his back on your family. That's unforgivable IMHO. He's toast. Burn that bridge & have some self respect for fuck's sake.

nf0kss

Breakups are hard, breakups while pregnant seem unbearable. The only thing that is going to help heal your heart is time. It's unfortunate, but that's simply it. Minuet by, minute, those minutes turn into hours, then days, then weeks, then months. Surround yourself with friends, family, loved ones...stay busy. Stay distracted. Really try and eliminate your time alone. Go to church, ( if you are spiritual) hang out with friends, do whatever it takes to keep your mind to busy to think about him or the pain. I truly believe in the no contact rule....(or minimum contact since you already have a child). Time and space is what you need....to heal and to get your head straight. THis other chick he's seeing is irrelevant. And she's gotta be pretty low herself to date a man who just left his pregnant girlfriend....put her out your mind. And remeber how she got him is he she'll lose him... Calla friend over to Pack up his crap or whatever lingering items he may have in your home and put them away in the basement or something. Don't even call him to come get them...that's unnecessary contact. Just Reclaim your space...full it with positive vibes. Time will heal you....it's going to be hard. But you WILl get thrugh this. Just take it day by day. It's amazing how strong we can be....thoughts and prayers