Not invited to the birth

ngolimento

jarrard1983 said:

I can not believe how many people think this is OK. (not saying this in a judgy way at all)

Unfortunately I lost my mother in law the day I was suppose to have my gender reveal party and it was devastating.

We planned on telling no one the sex until the party, but for some reason we decided to tell his mom and dad the night before while we were at dinner. The next morning she had a massive stroke and passed away that night.

The point is that you never know what life will throw our way. I can understand being stressed out by your mil, I was beyond annoyed that mine was so pushy about finding out the babies sex, but I know I would have felt horrible if we hadn't have shared the news with her before she passed.

Personally I would allow her to be at the hospital, just not in the room. That way she can be updated..... Especially God forbid something go wrong. You can call her into the room when YOU feel ready to do so.

Just because your MIL was a wonderful person doesn't mean all MILs everywhere are jist misunderstood and oppressed. Mine is nice too, but I am capable of understanding my luck, and grasping the concept that there are some stress inducing crazy nasty bitches out there. If my FIL, who is genuinely a terrible person, insisted on being at the birth, I'd fucking wander into the desert and squat the baby out next to a cactus rather than risk him being present.

jarrard1983

I was not close with my mil. She was nice enough, but also kind of crazy. I had already planned on making them wear blankets between them and the baby because they are heavy smokers. My father in law is also a complete dick..... So no. No wonderful unicorn relationships here.

I wasn't suggesting that she live in fear of what might happen. I was suggesting that she live in a way that she won't regret if something were to happen. If she doesn't feel like she would regret her decision later on in life then by all means, she should do what she had planned. I'm simply giving her a different perspective and sharing a personal experience. Everyone has a different situation.

kcbizme

My MIL actually asked me if I was going to let her in the room and my immediate thought was "What?"

Now I'm on the fence. I don't necessarily think I would mind her being in there, however there would absolutely have to be some ground rules for her. If she is in the room during delivery, it would be to take pictures. I want pictures and I know she will take a lot.

This would also have to be discussed with my doctor. The last time we brought it up, she said she usually only allows 2 support people, which will be H and my mom.