Struggling...help me if you can... Update

Ardmhs83

Hey ladies...I don't start a thread often, but I've been struggling for the last week and last night was bad!  I've seen discussions on here before about mental illness/medication/pregnancy, so figured I'd reach out to anybody else on here dealing with this.  I'll also add that I had pretty bad PPA/PPD after the birth of my son and it took me a while to find the right meds and to start to feel like myself again.  My son is 4 now and I was off all of my meds, but a low dose of one medication.  We decided to stay on that one medication as the benefits outweighed the risks.  It is not an SSRI as they do not work for me, made my anxiety worse.  Anyway...anybody else now dealing with pregnancy insomnia?  Insomnia is my anxiety "trigger," unfortunately.  My medication did not help me last night and the last week has been iffy.  I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist today and had a therapy appointment yesterday.  I just fear needing to go up on my medication, I was doing so well! I've also been prescribed a low dose anxiety med, for as needed.  However, I try to avoid taking it like the plague b/c I freak out about it.  Sometimes, it is the only thing that will help me sleep.  I've tried all things natural, for years, and when things get bad...the med is all that works.

Anybody else dealing with this mess?  I know I'll feel better when I talk to my doctor this afternoon, but just trying reach out for women who know what it is like.  Found myself crying this morning, feeling sorry for myself.  Ugh! Damn it!      

Update: I love my psychiatrist. He's so calming! Also found out that he has a family medicine degree and has delivered plenty of babies. Anyway...he did up my medication, explaining that my low dose just may not be working well anymore because of my hormonal overload right now. Also said, if I can't sleep and feel anxious, take my anxiety pill. He also stated my anxious state is much more harmful than the medication. He said I've got to deal the cards I was dealt and this isn't my fault. It's a default in my brain, and that's okay...I just need some help. He says baby will be fine! I swear...he's like an anxiety pill himself!

ngolimento

You might want to ask your doctor if you can safely take OTC sleep aides like Unisom. I know it is considered safe for pregnant women, but I don't know if it is also safe with the anxiety meds you are taking

MrsPope1770

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. There are many of us here who have dealt with/are dealing with these issues--so you definitely aren't alone. I second the use of CBT--in my opinion, no doctor should provide psychiatric meds without also providing a referral
to a therapist. The meds are extremely important, but shouldn't be fully relied on. I hope you guys find a solution for you. You can handle it!!!!

sathena

I deal with depression, and I can't give you much help. I do want to offer "free hugs," and to let you know that you're not alone.

Ardmhs83

Thank you ladies...my therapist is great and the CBT tools I've learned has helped me some.  I'm able to use them to help me most of the time.  I've had my px for my anxiety pills for a few months now and I've only used three.  My positive self-talk has gotten a lot better over the years, but it is still hard...especially with the pregnancy hormones kicking in high-gear.  It is a battle in my head all the time, "take the pill, sleep and feel better or not take the pill struggle, but feel good that you didn't expose yourself to the med." 

I've been going about this all right as far as clearing everything with my OB, psychiatrist and therapist.  None of them seem over-concerned.  My OB just said last week, "if you need it, take it."  I just feel bad about it and worry.  I use to need an anxiety pill every night to go to sleep for a while, weaned off of it with no problems.  It was a miracle drug for me and I have no addiction history, so that doesn't concern me.  It is just the fact that I'm pregnant now and it isn't all about me anymore.    

Ardmhs83

meladoriestar said:

Thank you ladies...my therapist is great and the CBT tools I've learned has helped me some.  I'm able to use them to help me most of the time.  I've had my px for my anxiety pills for a few months now and I've only used three.  My positive self-talk has gotten a lot better over the years, but it is still hard...especially with the pregnancy hormones kicking in high-gear.  It is a battle in my head all the time, "take the pill, sleep and feel better or not take the pill struggle, but feel good that you didn't expose yourself to the med." 

I've been going about this all right as far as clearing everything with my OB, psychiatrist and therapist.  None of them seem over-concerned.  My OB just said last week, "if you need it, take it."  I just feel bad about it and worry.  I use to need an anxiety pill every night to go to sleep for a while, weaned off of it with no problems.  It was a miracle drug for me and I have no addiction history, so that doesn't concern me.  It is just the fact that I'm pregnant now and it isn't all about me anymore.    

My doctor told me that the risk of occasionally taking the anxiety pills is less than the risk to baby of having a major panic attack. I keep that in mind. For me just knowing it's an option helps reduce a lot of stress and I incorporate it into my self-talk. Like, okay try to sleep and if in an hour you're still up you can take the pill. Then an hour later, well you made it an hour let's try another hour and then if you really need it you can take the pill. That's been very effective for me and so far I haven't needed to take it.

I do this too.  I try not to look at the clock though b/c the time ticking away makes it worse.  I kind of just wing it.  Problem is I think I wait too long to where it is like 2am before taking the pill.  I fight it for so long.  I throw the whole, "what if I need this every single night again" thing in my head.  

chelc32188

No experience with this but hoping you can find some relief. I loathe the nights I have trouble sleeping.

mariahd43

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I understand that you want to avoid going back on any meds if you can, but try to do what's best for you. I hope your psychiatrist is able to provide some insight and advice for you. Hugs! Keep us posted on how you're doing.

PuppyLove84

Having just gotten home from a therapist appointment, I definitely understand where you're coming from!  It's so hard between trying to do what's best for the baby and what's best for you.  But I think a lot of times, what's best for you really is best for the baby too.  If you're super anxious and exhausted, your body isn't going to be giving the baby the best environment it can.  For me, the anticipation of insomnia makes me even more anxious than I was to begin with.  Benadryl usually puts me to sleep pretty quickly; I don't like taking it if I don't need to, but some nights it's easier just to take one right when I go to bed and know I'll get a decent night's sleep.  Otherwise I end up waiting too long and then it's 4am and I know if I take one I won't be able to get up for work in the morning, and I get more worked up worrying that I won't get any sleep at all that night.

In any case, everyone is different, and hopefully talking with your doctor will help you figure out what works best for you.  I don't think you should feel guilty for needing to take an anxiety pill, though; according to a lot of literature I've read, constant anxiety and sleep deprivation are much worse for the baby than any potential risk from the occasional use of most medicines!  (Although try telling an anxious person that their anxiety is harmful and they shouldn't worry as much, and see how that goes!  It's a vicious cycle!)

Ardmhs83

PuppyLove84 said:

Having just gotten home from a therapist appointment, I definitely understand where you're coming from!  It's so hard between trying to do what's best for the baby and what's best for you.  But I think a lot of times, what's best for you really is best for the baby too.  If you're super anxious and exhausted, your body isn't going to be giving the baby the best environment it can.  For me, the anticipation of insomnia makes me even more anxious than I was to begin with.  Benadryl usually puts me to sleep pretty quickly; I don't like taking it if I don't need to, but some nights it's easier just to take one right when I go to bed and know I'll get a decent night's sleep.  Otherwise I end up waiting too long and then it's 4am and I know if I take one I won't be able to get up for work in the morning, and I get more worked up worrying that I won't get any sleep at all that night.

In any case, everyone is different, and hopefully talking with your doctor will help you figure out what works best for you.  I don't think you should feel guilty for needing to take an anxiety pill, though; according to a lot of literature I've read, constant anxiety and sleep deprivation are much worse for the baby than any potential risk from the occasional use of most medicines!  (Although try telling an anxious person that their anxiety is harmful and they shouldn't worry as much, and see how that goes!  It's a vicious cycle!)

I'm sorry you deal with this too! Ugh! It really is awful. You're totally right though...we need to care for ourselves to care for baby and my son I already have. Thank you all for your kind words and internet hugs! :-) I may need to post every now and again about this roller coaster ride, and I'm glad to know you all understand and some have been there themselves.

PuppyLove84

Glad to hear it went well with your doctor!  Sounds like he is very knowledgeable!

JNCPro3130

I don't have any experience with this but I'm so glad your appointment went well! I think it's great that you're taking care of yourself and talking with a therapist. Unfortunately it seems like people try to handle anxiety alone. It sounds like you're doing the right things for you, your son, and your baby.

jackipinker

I am also fighting taking medication. My obgyn suggested goin back on celexa but I'm to scared to. But I read a great book " the hardcore cute for anxiety" and it really gave dome great pointers. I also take Bach flower remedies ( safe for pregnant women and if you are taking meds but I'd still talk to doc before starting ) but I take rock rose and aspen and they have really been helping. It sucks to go thru anxiety and hormones! But remember this to dam hall pass!

rm2013

Don't have anything to add as far as information, but hope you feel better soon! Glad you asked for support, it seems like there are quite a few people who had good advice for you.

Ardmhs83

Thank you all again ladies...last night was a bit better, I needed my anxiety pill, but didn't feel as bad taking it as before.  Since he upped my meds, I will probably need the anxiety pill until the upper dose kicks in.

Thanks so much!   

greeneyedgirl23

I also have this u fortunate issue myself. I'm in two medications one of which is for extreme anxiety issues that I've been having for the past year and a half the other is for borderline depression / mood. I was told the benefits of the meds outweigh the risk of stopping them , so sometimes they can do more good then harm.
And it is true that while pregnant most meds are not as effective so upping them a little bit is probably ok . I do understand being afraid to take a higher dose because I feel the same way about that. As long as your under a doctors care everything should be just fine

Ardmhs83

@greeneyedgirl23 I'm sorry you are dealing with this too.  Thank you for your response, it is nice to not feel totally alone.  

jacqueleen1

Once I became pregnant coming off my insomnia medication was extremely difficult for me. I also weaned of my other meds for things like anxiety and found out it was not going to work. I went on a different anxiety/ depression med which appears to be helping, however sleep is another thing. Since I went off my meds I have not had a long good nights rest. I toss and turn and keep hubby awake moving. I wish you luck with all of this because I still have not found a solution to sleeping at night and over the counter sleeping pills just dont work for me 

rfarquhar32

My anxiety is worse at night too...however I just had a short stent in hospital. ..for contractions. .almost 25 wks with twins... my doc gave an rx for Ambien... love it! It helps me thru the night.