Safety issue - say something or mind my own business???

soylatte

Just logged in - holy discussion, batman.

soylatte

Meanwhile, I'm loving all the baby pics - crazy cute, ladies. And the "come at me bro" is still making me chuckle.

busterbeagle

It's such a tricky and sensitive thing. I do post car seat safety stuff on Facebook, and I will give thoughtful and accurate advice to friends or acquaintances who ask for it, but I don't point out errors in the photos people post. At the same time, if a grieving mother wants/needs to blame me and others who quietly cringe, I will take it. Does that sound contradictory? I guess I'm just saying that I don't think anyone has a responsibility to point out the shortcomings they see in anyone else's parenting, that the gray area of safety and risk is too large for me to draw a line where I'm comfortable without overstepping, and that the "why didn't anyone tell me?" thing can be completely separated in my mind as an ugly grief thing rather than an actual blame thing.

whimsy515

That "Why didn't anyone tell me" blog is wrong. It wasn't her fault that her boyfriend ONLY buckled the chest restraints, and it's not her fault that he ran a red light while going 55mph. I don't know why she blames herself (besides dating a jerk) and her friends/family on facebook.

Lbarron915

@soylatte - good for you for speaking up. I know I don't post often on here, but I just looked over at the 6-9 board and was furious on your behalf. The photo wasn't of your kid, but it wasn't the baby's face or name, etc. You were using it to illustrate a point and they were being ridiculous. 

Anyhow, whether or not you said something was totally up to you, and how concerned you were with the situation. You know more about the family than any of us, so you know what was the right decision. 

FWIW, I would have made a comment similar to yours or pp to at least bring up the topic of safety. If it were MY kid, and someone pointed it out (even if it was my choice to go against current recommendations) I would have appreciated the concern. 

THD7580

Eh. I have a big mouth (too big sometimes) and I would say something. That's just me though. I couldn't live with myself if I knew something happened to that baby. Maybe yeah the parents are too stupid to care but it does matter in regards to the babies safety. On Facebook I know everyone though personally for the most part so at least just making a nice remark I think is harmless if done tastefully.

gypsymystic

IBackBevo said:

@gypsymystic - Thank you for sharing!  I was just today reading something on Dr. Sear's website promoting bed sharing with a baby...even going so far as to say that it helped reduce SIDS.  It made me start to think about it for us...although, my husband sleeps with so many pillows that it would make me nervous.  After reading that story, it makes me rethink it.  I just don't see how it can be safely done with a young baby unless you sleep with no blankets or pillows.

@IBackBevo  I do bed share on most nights for part of the night, and I put the blankets at our feet, and put baby chest-height and away from pillows.

gypsymystic

hfooter said:

I guess this all boils down to the fact that you ladies haven't had the privilege to know a baby that has died due to suffocation because of a blanket.

@hfooter I don't find this ^ in bad taste. You make a good point, even though many people would rather take the attitude of 'it would never happen to me or anyone I know'.

Anyone who has had this happen to a baby or family member close to them, I can guarantee they would have a new perspective on almost everything regarding safety and safe sleep. I know I do. Whether or not it made a difference to 'speak up', I would have hated myself if I had said nothing prior to what happened to my sister's niece.  Exactly why, knowing it would make no difference, I still spoke out again when they continued to do it. Not wanting to seem 'judgy' isn't really worth a child's life if you know what is being done is wrong or unsafe. Period.