Life update, loss mentioned

Mum2Be28

Hi ladies.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. Life is crazy with a one year old (as y'all know) and I was really sick first tri with baby #2.

We found out Friday at our 16 week appointment that there was no heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed the loss was around 13 weeks, 1 day- we just didn't know since the appointments are so spread out. I'm heartbroken and I'm scared that at any moment I will start bleeding before they can perform the D and C next week.

I didn't sense this coming at all. I haven't had any bleeding, I'm still sick, my tummy is bigger. I just wish I had known sooner. I feel so far along, and it couldn't be worse timing with it being a holiday week. I don't want to see anyone. I feel embarrassed- like I've let everyone down and I'm just a reminder of something that was good and now it's sadness.

I'm just so sad. I want it back so bad. And I'm scared of how I will feel after the procedure when I won't be pregnant anymore. Will it be easier or worse?

I know I have to be strong for my son, but it's so hard to supress all my feelings and smile and play.

I just want it back.

tikiroom

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully with the holidays coming up you will be surrounded by love and support.

Jennybabe0706

I'm so so sorry hugs to you...

88sharonlee

I'm so so sorry to hear this sad news. I can't imagine how hard this must be, I hope you find lots of strength and support to help you through this tough time.

cagoldi

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't say it's like you've let anyone down. There's nothing for anyone to feel right now except compassion. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Take good care of yourself.

[Deleted User]

I am so sorry for your loss.  Please do not feel embarrassed or like you let anyone down.  This was not something that you did, it is something that happened to you and your family.  I will be thinking about you and your family. 

TJHine

I am so very sorry for your loss. One thing I've learned is to try to be real with your grief, it's so much harder to pretend you are fine if you aren't.

PeachsMama

I'm so sorry! I'll be praying for you and your family. You don't owe anyone anything, this happened to you, not something you did or brought on yourself.

Eboote

So very sorry for your loss. Come here whenever you need for support or just to vent.

mbafall09

I am so very sorry for your loss! Thoughts and prayers your way for comfort and support during this tough time. Unfortunately I know from experience that it is very difficult to deal with this during the holidays, just try to be gentle with yourself and take whatever time you need. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm so sorry.

DebateThis

I am so sorry. I'm here if you need to talk or ask about the D&C in more detail. Take care of yourself - that includes allowing yourself to grieve in any way you need.

Mum2Be28

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'm hoping they can do the procedure tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. Whatever day it is I'm going to arrange for my son to be with my mom all day- maybe even to spend the night so that I can really let out my feelings and have a really big cry. I just didn't want to be like that around him for days so I've been suppressing my feelings until the procedure day because I knew I would probably be even more sad that day-- officially not being pregnant anymore.

I'm so sorry for anyone that has ever had to experience this or any kind of loss. It's just the worst feeling I've ever experienced.

Kfran84

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't add more than what the pp's have said. I think it's good that you're going to have someone watch your DS so you can just take the time you need that day(s). I hope you get lots of love and support from your friends and family this weekend.

mskatiep

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my T's&P's! Grieve however you need to, we are all here for you.

Kim22

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. Be gentle with yourself and allow others to help whether it's with your son, your housework, meals whatever. Whatever happened was in no way your fault. I'm thinking of you.

SV917

I'm so sorry for your loss.

smadar11

I am so sorry for your loss. T&P for you and your family during this difficult time.

VegasGal1978

I am so sorry for your loss.

gwenneh

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts.

rbtrumpet

so sorry for your loss.  Take some time for yourself.  Hope you get all the love and support you need from your family!

UntaggableKatie

I am so very very sorry for your loss... T&Ps to you.

mallgrove

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[Deleted User]

I am so so sorry. Hoping you are able to grieve and find peace

mamasoup030

I am so so sorry for your loss! Please don't feel that you let anyone down, that is not the case at all. You should take all the time you need to grieve and not feel bad at all. My heart breaks for you, I hope you take comfort from having your family around you in this difficult time. All my hugs !

mwhipple77

I'm am so sorry for your loss.  Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

JessLB1014

I am very sorry for your loss!!

Melissa1506

Im so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers going out to you.

AlisonM12

I am so sorry to hear this. Please don't think you are letting anyone down because that is not the case. Please take care of yourself and T's & P's for you and your family.

housewifehair

I'm so very sorry for your loss. So many hugs to you in this difficult time.

Mum2Be28

Thank you all so much for your support!

I had the D&C yesterday and everything went smoothly and I haven't needed any pain medication since I left the hospital.

It has been cold and rainy here which has been hard because I can't get out and do normal things with DS as a distraction (park, barn, walks). I'm looking forward to tomorrow and the weekend when we get together with family and doing some other activities.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I hope y'all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Karadee1

I am so very sorry for your loss.

thelastunicornxo

I'm so sorry for your loss! sending lots of hugs and prayers to you and your family!

PeachsMama

Glad you've got something to look forward too. ( :

kimmycup

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

hollowway

I'm so sorry for your loss :-( I hope you're able to grieve and heal with time. These things happen and they never make sense and we never understand. But its not your fault in any way. Prayers for you and your family.