Stella and Dot party etiquette

potbellypig

My friend is hosting a Stella and Dot party in a few weeks. I'd like to go to the party to hang out with friends and see the stuff, but I just looked on eBay and saw the two necklaces I would consider buying for less than half the cost of what it'll be at this party. I really don't want to spend full price on these necklaces, because I think the cost would be over $200.

Is it a douche move to go to the party and not get anything? Is it douchier to go to the party, try stuff on, and get it on eBay later? My friend is hosting the party but she is not the "dealer" if that makes sense. It's just so expensive and I hate paying full price for something so impractical...

djm31012

Your friend gets a kick back for every person that purchases the night of her party. So she will want you to buy. That being said...no one can tell you how to spend your money. You can simply state that its not in your budget right now. I would probably still go just to be social..and if you feel more comfortable, maybe send her a side email before saying I would love to come and see you (and bring a hostess gift like wine)  but I dont think I am going to be able to buy anything, is that ok with you?

[Deleted User]

Not buying is no shittier than pressuring your friends into attending these parties.

I would have no qualms about going and not purchasing.

Real friends don't invite you to these God awful things.

hungryhippo

Ugh, I wish I knew the answer to this. I unknowingly went to something like this and spent $40 just to be nice to my friend, who has signed up for some level of membership and gets benefits from my purchase but is also not the distributor who led the "class". Did I screw the person who led it? I have no idea. I'm not interested in the product  - in fact some of the "information" was total BS - and I think these things set people up to unintentionally and unknowingly piss off someone.

Is it a close friend that you could talk to in advance that you are interested in attending but you know up front you won't be making a purchase? Or could you go to the party and bring something with you like wine or food to share as a gesture to the host?

*sparky*

I agree Stella & Dot is overpriced and just turned down an invite to a party so I would not have this dilemma. It is possible to go and not buy anything but I always feel awkward.

2chatter

I avoid Stella and Dot for this reason.

nattyncbride

I have only been invited to 2 parties like this, and one was for Stella and Dot. My friend made it clear in the invite no one had to buy anything; apparently having the party in itself gave her the discount she wanted, and she was upfront about that.  Because of that, I went to hang with girls, look at stuff, and drink wine.  

I don't know how pushy your friend is about all this.  Do know that they get a discount for even throwing the party.

AZ123

I hate how the hostess always tell you to come and you don't have to buy anything but really, you kind of do and it is lame to not. The hostess has bought wine, food and cleaned her house. The Stella person is only showing up because they want to make $ so I think you either go and buy or skip it and plan something separate on your own dime if you want to see your friends (i.e. happy hour where you're spending more like $40 than $200 on crappy jewelry).

potbellypig

These parties are SO popular where I live. The other day I was invited to Mayberry Leggings. They are ugly - patterned lagging that don't look cute on anyone over the age of 5. No thanks, I'm not interested in buying them. I've heard lots about Jamberry too, and while I think they can look cute if maybe one nail is done as a discreet accent,, I can't be bothered to buy something that would most definitely look tacky on me.

mcgeeva

I personally wouldn't go. I would feel obligated to buy if going. I hate to waste money on all these parties. I can't tell you how often I am being hit up for Arbon, Mary K, etc. I say NO to all and don't feel bad one bit. What's harder is saying no to the 6 kids that live across and beside me always selling stuff for sports. I can't buy from everyone or I would be broke! Spend on what you like and don't feel bad about it. Someone else will always buy that stuff. 

[Deleted User]

I will cut you out of my life over these parties.

Not really, but thankfully my friends don't suck and don't host these.

SunAndRain

These are big where I live too.  I splurged at the last 2 I went to. And I seized an opportunity to get to know other moms from DD's school (who were the hostesses). Now I think I am done.

*sparky*

Ditto to hating Jamberry - I am so sick of seeing that crap everywhere!

And @mcgeeva - we have had five fundraisers for school and one for soccer since September. How many people does the school think we know that we could hit up for five different things in three months? I just throw the brochures away now and don't even participate. There is No way I am buying all that crap myself or hitting up my friends, neighbors, etc. for something different every other week.

ss+el

I never spend much on the food when I'm the hostess

Seriously, though, I haven't had one in my home in years because no one ever comes, even those who act excited at the prospect. I stick to online now, and usually only do one for the automatic hostess discount, so never any pressure from me.

I only go to parties if I know I'm going to buy, but mostly to keep myself from caving in to my lack of will power.

edited - I had to google Stella & Dot. Until this post, I thought it was kids' clothing. Too trendy for that price point.

IrishTraveler

I'm over dōTERRA, Jamberry, 31, Stella & Dot, and any other iteration of MLM that happens to make its way across my Facebook feed. Make. It. Stop.

VitaLuna

No, no, and no. I hate these kinds of things, and the FB " parties" are the worst offenders!

OP, from an etiquette standpoint, I think it's totally fine to go and not buy anything. I personally would prefer to hang out outside if one of those parties, though, so I might do that instead.

Also, doterra. Gah. I've used EO's for a while, but I can't stand the whole "certified pure therapeutic grade" crap that doterra does. It's a trademark, not some special certification. Stop misleading people. *steps off soapbox*

mcgeeva

*sparky* oh both my neighbors have their kids in the same schools, they are all the same age and attend the same sports etc and will keep hitting us up with no shame. Drives me bonkers considering THEY DON'T WORK and listening to them say it's for their hotels for the cheer competitions and how they feel they shouldn't have to raise money for the family that can't afford a nice hotel room. Makes me sick because at the end of the day they are still hitting us up for money. They just both asked last week if I would buy donuts..nope sorry. I said I will take cookies at that time of year and popcorn that is it.