Please, tell me about the joys.

lupineaura

Hi everyone,

First of all I've really been enjoying this board. It's helped me a lot ever since I saw those two little blips on the ultrasound.

Like a lot of mothers expecting twins I've been doing a lot of research, reading, and when I can, talking to people with twin experience.

Overall, the results of my efforts have been kind of disheartening. I keep hearing about how I will get no sleep, how expensive it will be, how hard the pregnancy will be, how crazy my life will become, and basically, how incredibly difficult the whole experience is. When people hear I already have a toddler, it just gets worse. Sure, people tell me it's "twice for joy" but I don't seem to get the same concrete examples as I get when people talk about the downsides.

I understand the importance of being prepared about the reality of having twins. I'm hoping the fact that I already do have a child has somewhat prepared me for the reality of parenting a newborn in general. But I have to admit, I'm feeling more scared than excited. I thought I would feel better as I adjusted, but like I said, it seems the research I've been doing has mostly confirming my negative expectations.

So I'm guess I'm asking for the bright side. I know that's a little naïve, but like I said, I feel pretty prepared for the challenges. Please give me some things to look forward to :-)

greks84

https://www.mommyish.com/2013/08/27/10-reasons-its-easier-to-have-twins-than-singletons/

greks84

https://mommyshorts.com/2013/01/5-reasons-having-twins-is-easier-than-one.html

rachelkongsore@hotmail.com

Watching your twins play together. Having two babies asleep on your lap at once. Your husband holding one while you hold the other. Corresponding outfits. The satisfaction of caring for them. Twins are special and different.

Wishing35

I find it amazing to watch my two little girls developing such unique personalities! Sure it's not easy but it's not as hard as I thought either. My cuties play ,and laugh and bring me so much joy every day. They may get in fights over toys at times ,but they always have a playmate and I think this makes them less dependent on me for entertainment. I now have a singleton who is only 4 weeks old and yes the care of one infant is easier, but that could be because I'm more relaxed now because she isn't my first. Don't get depressed by all the negative things you read. Like anything in life it's a challenge but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

SmallCityLiving

Even at 7 months seeing my two interact is amazing. They search each other out in the room at all times. One loves to play with the others face and they are constantly holding hands. The love they have for each other melts my heart and I can't wait to see it grow.

Plus parenting two helps you to feel like super mom!

I will also say having two doesn't have to be craxy expensive. We cloth diaper, breastfeed, and take as many hand me down clothes and toys as we are offered. It has kept costs way down. Plus it means I can save the clothing budget for adorable coordinating outfits!

sasky

I'm 5 months in, and while I've recently posted a thread about how hard it is, I love my babies so so much, I feel like my heart will explode. It seems like I'm kissing them all the time and making them laugh is the best thing ever. Sometimes I look at them and think about how lucky I am. I can't imagine life without either one of them.

All babies are tough and bring stress. Twins are tougher with more stress at times, yes. But we are all double blessed! How lucky are we??

kefttsc

OP I needed this thread and almost posted one of my own this morning about the same thing.  People insist on telling me how hard it will be, as if I am not scared enough as a FTM.  Thank you!!!  And thank you ALL for the positive responses!

lupineaura

Thank you all so much!

Hoosier722

Double the smiles, coos, and laughs. Mine are 4 months, and just in the last month has it started to be more fun. There really is nothing better than having 2 little babies giggling at you! Oh, except for the amazing Halloween possibilities. Halloween alone is SO AWESOME with twins. Dressing my older kids up is cute, but 2 babies!! Heaven!

karah4816

Just want to reiterate that seeing the relationship between my babies is the most amazing experience I've ever had. And yes, it's hard but you get the hang of it and before long you won't be able to imagine your life without those two little cuties

karah4816

Oh, I just wanted to add something about nursing. When I was pregnant people kept telling me how impossible it was going to be to nurse twins and how I might as well accept that I would have to formula feed. And while it's totally cool if you do formula feed it was really important to me to breast feed and guess what, it was fine. So don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something that is important to you because you're having twins.

SBmomma

What a great thread! I too have been hearing all the horror stories over & over again. I get it. And yes I have a toddler to add to the mix. These responses have been so encouraging & helpful. Great stuff ladies!!

lcloffredo

My girls will be three weeks tomorrow and the pregnancy is hard and I'm not getting a ton of sleep but it's amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Seeing those babies for the first time made every thing worth it. I also have a toddler and I would say that is the hardest part. (Feeling guilty.) She loves her sisters so much that when we offer special outings for just her she wants her sisters to come too.

Millimeter

The twins were our first, so we were glad we didn't have to fight over who got to hold the baby if there was just one.

At 15 months, they play very well together, though they fight as well. They spent a night apart and they missed each other so much. DD was searching my mom's house for her brother most of the night.

There is so much laughter and love in the house with two. They both fight over my lap and I almost always have one of them snuggled up with me.

We went on a double date this weekend: father/daughter and mother/son. It was nice to be able to go on a "date" like that and watch them interact across the table.

sasky

Another joy: I am so glad not to be pregnant with twins anymore!

lupineaura

irishtheatrechic said:

This thread is simply amazing. I have been feeling so overwhelmed about how I am going to handle parenting two kids, especially when I have a husband who works evenings. Being reminded of all the good things that are to come, instead of the constant deluge of negative, has been incredibly uplifting to me.

You ladies are awesome.

I agree! This board is a lifesaver, and I'm only 12 weeks along!

JBoundy

Thank you to everyone who posted.  This is a great reminder to help mitigate all the negative, and just what I needed today!

BeesKnees181

Not naïve at all...the joys are endless honestly.  First smiles X 2; first laughs X 2; they way they smile and laugh with each other and interact really melts my heart and makes me cry out of pure joy; when they nap and cuddle with each other; knowing they will always have each other/ a best friend eases my mama mind too.  I could go on 

FaeryStarGazer

The joys go on and on! Looking back on our seven years with the girls:

Seeing them grow up together. 

When they would reach out and just touch each other's finger tips in their crib. 

Watching the way they know each other so well.

Seeing their identical-but different traits

hearing about their school days- they love love love to talk about what they're reading, what they did in music, what they played in gym, who they sat with at lunch. 

Hearing their little voice call out for you after bed-- even though my "babies" are 7, it still makes my heart melt when I hear someone call out, "Mooommmy? Can you come snuggle me, please?" 

The teamwork- it's amazing. 

Seeing them get excited for the first snow of the season-- dropping backpacks on the floor and running outside as fast as they can.

Listening to them read to us and talk about what they're reading...

gah. I never, ever wanted kids forget twins but now? Now I cannot imagine my life without them. 

twinmom1121

People always tell me "I don't know how you do it with two!" And I tell them, you just do it! It is seriously the best thing being a mom of twins. I don't have an older one, so twins is all I know. Sometimes it is hard but it is really more fun than it is hard. It all depends on your babies too. My babies were very easy as newborns and now that they are almost one and running around, it's kinda crazy but a good crazy! They laugh and play and chase each other. They entertain each other while I get things done and twice the hugs and cuddles is definitely worth all the sleepless nights. I didn't see how far along you are but my twin pregnancy was very uneventful and I actually miss being pregnant! So not all twin pregnancies are hard and miserable! Just hang in there and think about the positive more than the negative. Everyone's experiences are different!

hchellebelle

This was a great read! I am an attorney with a 2 year old and twins on the way. I am absolutely terrified! Everyone, including my husband, are so excited for the twins and cannot understand why I am not. I am just so scared of and stressed about all the work, lack of sleep and cost associated with it....not too mention worrying about all the potential complications. Your comments certainly give me other things to focus on. Thank you ladies:)

persephonerose

I think the best thing about having a toddler and twins is seeing your toddler love on the new babies. My son just turned two and the twins are opening up a whole new world for him.  While he is not always helpful, he does sometimes make it more fun. Our twins are only 5 weeks old but I can't wait to see how the relationship between the three of them develops.

He carries around my flanges on his chest and says "I pump milk"
He kisses the babies on the forehead
If they cry he tries to shhhh them
He likes to help with diaper changes
He sometimes will help hold a bottle during feedings

SassyPants150

Thanks for all the posts ladies! I have especially loved hearing that many of you have a toddler too. I was so pumped and ready to have a brother or sister for DD then have been absolutely panicked about adding two instead of one! I try to picture it and have no idea how we will manage it all. Thanks for the encouragement!