Judge me if you want but...

marthah05

I just made the decision that we will not have a family bed. My husband is fast asleep and he is a very heavy sleeper, he rolled over and nearly suffocated our 15 pound pug with a pillow. If I was not awake I am not sure she would have moved or if he would have actually suffocated her. I can't take that risk with a child. So the baby will be sleeping in his or her own bed...

mwerren

I'm with you on this one. Unfortunately I know a person who suffocated and killed their infant in bed by rolling on them. I intend to have a bassinet right next to the bed though.

ashleyrh661

Ok. I'm confused why you need to post this. We never did a family bed. Baby slept in a bassinet right next to me. But I know plenty of families that have a family bed and it works great for them. The way you worded this seems like you want to have an argument.

Whitfry

I plan on using a co-sleeper. We have plans for building something like this. Luckily, both DH and my father are excellent woodworkers and have more than enough experience and knowledge to make one that will be safe and secure. 

Our bed is small enough that adding an infant to the middle of it is iffy. But I love the idea of a sidecar style bed for the baby.

JennyP0222

I don't see why you would legit think people would judge you for NOT bed sharing. It is not for everyone. I personally LOVE bed sharing and look forward to doing it again. I certainly do not expect to be judged for that perspective either. 

mwerren

@Whitfry‌ that's a neat concept!

shlittertoots

Your reasoning is completely logical--seems legit if you're fearful of YH rolling on the baby.

You'll also come to the realization that you will want to kill your husband for his ability to sleep like a rock during night time wakings and feedings. And I also won't judge you for that, either.

JCWhitey

TikTak said:

I'm pretty more people get judged for bedsharing than get judged for NOT bedsharing.

Yeah pretty much this.  Way more opposition to doing it than not on most of these boards.

I swore I never would because I like to throw things off my bed, kick, hit, and punch other people who are in it with me.  But we shared a bed from about 6-10 months with DS and it was great.   It's still not something I would do with a newborn but an older child if the conditions were right, sure!  Never poo-poo something until you've been there.

finallyourturn2

Yeah We won't be doing bed sharing either. I move around way too much in my sleep, and have even punch my husband in my sleep.

crunchymamaof2

What was the point of this?

FrecklesInside

Thanks for sharing...

We bedshare safely, not with a newborn though. Newborn goes in a sidecar bassinet. But to each their own. It is possible to bedshare safely. You'd also be surprised how completely aware, as a parent, you are of your baby.

Anyhow, this post does nothing but attempt to stir up an argument. Why do we care you've made this choice? Good for you. I do hope you intend to co-sleep for awhile in some other manner.

ngolimento

I... Don't understand the point of this post. It's more unusual and prone to judgement to bed share than not.

Personally, my husband and I have barely learned how to not sleep hit/kick each other after 4 years. I'm not subjecting our child to our annoying sleeping selves.

thejucheidea

Uh... okay? Good for you?

My husband almost smothered our Corgi the first night she slept in bed with us, so there's no way that I'd have a baby in bed, but we are having a co-sleeper because I don't want to have to wander across the entire house to breastfeed at like 2:30 in the morning.

almeyer2013

I am judging you for this post.

cmcintos

We'll probably do a nursery and have baby sleep in their crib if possible. IF we need to have them in the room for the first little bit, bassinet by the bed is the other option. But I'm a super dooper light sleeper, and will never sleep if the baby is next to me making sounds and moving. Our rooms are close enough that I can hear if she's fussy and needs attending..... but we'll see. :P

mandi195

katydid2014 said:

Judge me if you want but I haven't been able to make a decent poop in 5 days.

same. I ended up taking a "gentle laxative" on Saturday, spent most of the day dying in the bathroom, and nothing since then. 

thursday

We shared a bed with DD and I would never do it again!!! She still tries to get in my bed. It is just too hard to get them out. I am putting the crib in my room this time.

22roses

As much as I love the idea of snuggling and sleeping with baby. No way we can bed share considering my Husband lost his sister from his parents Co sleeping.

Unknown

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RMama2012

You've got a long road ahead of you if you are this defensive about every parenting decision.  Make your decisions based on what if best for you and your family and don't look for validation from anyone. 

This was one place I didnt feel "judged" and frankly, didnt really care what anyone thought.  I did what worked for my family because no one else was taking care of my baby at 3am. I kept my son in his bassinet in my room for 5-6 months.  There were nights I would have let my son sleep on the hardwood floor if it would have meant a good nights sleep.  

FrecklesInside

meladoriestar said:

So... Off topic but... We plan to have baby in the room with us the first year. How does sex work? Wait til baby is asleep and do it quietly?

Yes, and then in other places. We no longer do it in the room with her but use the living room instead...yup...gotta do what you gotta do when kiddo is still in your room at a year and a half. But for the first year we would be sure she was asleep and in her own space and have sex quietly in our bed. When she started bed sharing more frequently, we switched to a different room for the lovins.

ST3WD

Maybe OP was completely chastised by a family member IRL and didn't know how to make sentences in her word brain to explain her feels on the subject? I'm just trying to fart unicorn glitter at this point.

pearsforpoops said:

meladoriestar said:

So... Off topic but... We plan to have baby in the room with us the first year. How does sex work? Wait til baby is asleep and do it quietly?

Oh, I'll be serious this time. When we had Haden in the PnP in our room, we DTD when he was sleeping. At first I thought we should be quiet, but turns out he didn't care. He never woke up because of noise from us. That being said, he moved to his room around 8 weeks. Had we been keeping him in with us longer I would think we'd need to be more quiet as he got older.

I also made sure the PnP was in such a location in the room that he couldn't see us. As if it made any difference. But I'll admit to thinking about it.

Am I naive to think the baby wasn't bothered by the sounds because he heard them in the womb if you and YH DTD while pregnant? Theoretically, if you keep any sort of libido going during the 9 months, it makes sense anything that's not excessive sounding for you two would sound "normal." Meh, I'm thinking out loud here.