UO Thread

WasNotWas

Let's remind @itsstackie what day it is

WasNotWas

I think the whole teal pumpkin thing is ridiculous. If you want to participate and provide alternative treats, good on you, but if you are a parent that expects me to consider your child's dietary/allergy needs YOU need a reality check.

itsStackie

Thanks @wasnotwas, I was really hoping the UO would show up on Tuesday!

itsStackie

nykkolaughs said:

I found out yesterday one of my "friends" got sterilized/tubes fried last year (at 26) and it's making me ragey. She's super open about the fact that she and her husband don't want kids, but it's just blowing my mind. Maybe that's a fftc but I needed to get it out.

Wow. I know at one point I didn't want kids, but I would never take it that far.  My opinions or seasons of life change too easily.

WasNotWas

Bleachy14 said:

WasNotWas said:

I think the whole teal pumpkin thing is ridiculous. If you want to participate and provide alternative treats, good on you, but if you are a parent that expects me to consider your child's dietary/allergy needs YOU need a reality check.

I don't think it's ridiculous. I would imagine it's really helpful for the kids that DO have serious food allergies. I'd be willing to bet you probably see the teal pumpkin on houses of people that already have food allergies, but that's just a guess. However, that being said, I would never expect anyone to consider my own child's food allergies and buy accordingly. Food allergies vary greatly from kid to kid, so there's no way you can plan for it all!! Now, would it be really cool if someone had it? Of course! But I would never, ever "expect" it!

People are always asking me "What can G have... Is this or that safe for him? What should I buy?"... which is really sweet, but I always say (again), that I never expect anyone to know what to have or go out of their way, and I always just bring our own food for him.

My house on Halloween is not Burger King, you cannot have it your way. I am generously giving you candy, if the snickers will cause your child to go into anaphylactic shock, maybe don't let them eat it? If even touching the wrapper will cause their throat to tighten, give them a costume with gloves? I just don't see how a "holiday" where strangers give you candy should be strangers giving you something that is catered to your child.

WasNotWas

violet1183 said:

On the teal pumpkin topic, I just get mixed bags and hope there is something for everyone. Last year a 4 year old rang my bell and said "gluten free, please!" I stared blankly for a minute and think I said something like "why don't you ask your mommy to walk over here so we can pick something out?"

WasNotWas

@bleachy14 It wasn't really directed at you, I just get hot about the topic in general and was in the quoting mood

WasNotWas

steamboat123 said:

Uggs are ugly.

But it's like walking on sheep!!

ConnieRob

Will has a peanut allergy. He is still going trick or treating and I will sort through his candy before he gets any (not like he'll be eating much, but still). This is my game plan for years going forward as well. If someone has something w/o nuts, cool, if not than more for me!

I like the teal pumpkin idea but am too cheap to put one out this year even though I will have some non-peanut candy available. I also hit up the dollar store and bought a couple kazoos (your welcome, allergy parents).

momofcatan

WasNotWas said:

steamboat123 said:

Uggs are ugly.

But it's like walking on sheep!!

Uggs in Florida is dumb. [-(

TheTamedShrew

Isn't the whole point of the teal pumpkin the fact that it is a kind, thoughtful, and VOLUNTARY (aka optional) thing to do for kids in your community? I think it's a really awesome idea, and if we were going to be handing out candy this year I would totally do it. If you don't want to, then just don't put a teal pumpkin on your porch?
I agree that it is aggravating if there are moms in neighborhoods pressuring everyone to do it though.

nikel13

I think the point of the UO was that there are some parents out there, none of which are you ladies who I call friends, that expect people to cater to their children.  It's the world we live in where there a minority of people taking responsibility for themselves and their children and expect others to do for them.  Again, nobody here.  I had horrible food allergies as a kid (I grew out of them) and have horrible allergies to my world in general.  By the time I was a certain age, I knew better than to pet the cat because I knew I would have problems.  Did I do it anyway when my parents weren't looking, yes, but it was my parents responsibility to ensure that I had what I needed to be okay anywhere we were until I was old enough to do it myself.  I feel that there are lots of parents who have kids and pretty much think that they were built knowing what to do.  They aren't.

tl;dr - I believe the UO was more ragey towards parents who expect people to cater to their lives and not just be grateful and take responsibility for their own kids.  Nobody here is like that.  That is a fact!

GraceInCA

When we are hiring, I google people and if I find things I think are objectionable, I pass on their resume.  For example, if you have tons of anti-vax stuff on your Facebook, I immediately deduct 50 IQ points and assume that you are not capable of processing information, so you can't work here. Same if you are doing a keg stand. You're applying for a job, at least clean up the social media a bit, you know? I know some people think that's an invasion of privacy, which is why it's my UO.

WasNotWas

@chicagochic82 I think you are missing the point. It's not an insensitivity to kids with allergies, it's that on this particular holiday, where people are giving you free candy you are expecting there to be alternatives for your allergic child. The episode of Parenthood where she goes to all the neighbors and gives them glow sticks is PERFECT. If you want your kid to get pretzels instead of kit kats, then feel free to drop some by, otherwise skip my house. If a kid came to my door and asked if my starbursts were gluten free I'd get all drunk uncle on them

WasNotWas

steamboat123 said:

I find buying Halloween candy challenging. I want to buy stuff I like incase there are leftovers, but not stuff I hate in case there are left overs. FWP's.

I was on a money saving website and they said to buy generic suckers so you only buy what you are going to give out and don't eat any yourself

WasNotWas

WorkinIt said:

@WasNotWas‌ you wear uggs in Florida?!!

They are what I wore to work every day in Chicago, so I have a couple pair that I bring out when it gets under 60

WasNotWas

momofcatan

GraceInCA said:

When we are hiring, I google people and if I find things I think are objectionable, I pass on their resume.  For example, if you have tons of anti-vax stuff on your Facebook, I immediately deduct 50 IQ points and assume that you are not capable of processing information, so you can't work here. Same if you are doing a keg stand. You're applying for a job, at least clean up the social media a bit, you know? I know some people think that's an invasion of privacy, which is why it's my UO.

At first I thought this was awesome, there's nothing on my social media presence that I'm ashamed of. Then I thought about possibly not getting a job because someone doesn't like that I would hypothetically circ a son. Now seems less awesome.

I don't consider it an invasion of privacy, I consider anything on the internet public to everyone, but the criteria is a grey zone.

Lizzybizzy80

If you're watching Jeopardy you shouldn't guess the final 'answer' until they show the 'question'. My husband has guessed right twice based on the category alone.

WasNotWas

@bleachy14 if you have a child with special dietary (or otherwise) needs you can map out a route that would/will be safe for them. I don't think it's unreasonable to drop off something and say "the password is un-fun" when I stop by, if you want your child to have the same trick or treating experience as every other kid.

I would assume that if that meant knocking on strangers houses ahead of time that would make you feel even better, because Halloween night won't be the first time you are knocking on this person's door. Did that make sense, I'm reading it back and it's not making a ton of sense...basically, the issue of the strangers will be an issue either way.

I think you hit on what is the root of my issues: gratefulness. A child and parent should be happy that they get anything from me, whether it be butterscotch candy or a special bag of alternative treats. The expectation and entitlement that the teal pumpkin project (I think) promotes is what chaps my ass

numbersgirl08

I agree with  most everything that's been said about the teal pumpkin thing.  Nice thought, if you want to participate, shouldn't be expected though, and kids should be grateful they get anything!

However, after having so many allergies myself, my views have changed about certain things.  I don't ever EXPECT anyone to cater to my allergies - most of the time I tell people not to cater to me at all because it's way too difficult - but there have also been many times I've been invited to a dinner party or something of the sort, where it's not a lot of people (most of the time just us and the hosts) and the hosts have cooked something or somethings that I can't eat.  It's incredibly awkward to say "That entrée looks lovely, but can I just eat the mashed potatoes instead?"  Then they feel all bad because they made something you're allergic too.  It happens MOST often with desserts - someone goes out of their way to make something nice and then I can't eat it and I feel bad and they feel bad.

So just a PSA - if you want to avoid such things in the future - if you are inviting someone over you don't know very well, ask if they have any dietary restrictions to take into account.  It'll save a lot of awkwardness!

momofcatan

I finally remembered my UO. I could not care less about celebrity gossip. I don't understand the draw to know who's dating who and who punched which paparazzi.

ColieAnn31

@stargazer763‌ I completely agree with you. Especially when it comes to clothes. I can't stand that there are 10 racks with girl clothes and like 2 for boys. Grayson can play with dolls and kitchen stuff or whatever. But I'm not going to put him in "girl" clothes. My son won't be wearing a pink shirt with Barbie on it or something like that. The shoe section is always the worst.

pkp2

ColieAnn31 said:

@stargazer763‌ I completely agree with you. Especially when it comes to clothes. I can't stand that there are 10 racks with girl clothes and like 2 for boys. Grayson can play with dolls and kitchen stuff or whatever. But I'm not going to put him in "girl" clothes. My son won't be wearing a pink shirt with Barbie on it or something like that. The shoe section is always the worst.

I agree with you both! There are way more girl things (clothes mainly) and it is so annoying! And if you go to a kids boutique that has more boy things, it's crazy expensive.

daffy2k

@subliminalrabbit‌ M got a musical tea set for her birthday and it's a huge hit! I think ours is Fisher Price, and very purple/pink, but if you can find one for E I'd totally recommend it. We have tea parties on the regular around here.

BC&LM

I don't get the zombie craze either. Not my thing at all.

I didn't know what the teal pumpkin thing was, so I googled it. Personally, I think it's a great idea to have other options available other than candy. It's not like it would cost a whole lot. I have seen multi-packs of stickers for a dollar before, and that could be broken up to a sheet per kid. Or cheap Halloween pencils or something. I don't see it as parents expecting you to cater to their children. I look at it from the point of view of a child--the poor kid is already restricted in what he or she can eat, maybe even made fun of for it, and now they have to miss out on a childhood rite of passage because of their allergy too? This gives them a chance to just be like other kids for once. Now I wouldn't spend money on an actual teal pumpkin to display. I would just put up a sign or ask if anyone has food allergies.

needanustart

Ive said this before but parents that both go trick or treating with their kid/kids and leave their door unattended for other kids are selfish. My kid likes to knock and get a person, so c'mon you can take turns helicopter parenting your child and instagraming them at every door and man your damn door. It's a one parent job.

riansmommie

calikat80 said:

Ive said this before but parents that both go trick or treating with their kid/kids and leave their door unattended for other kids are selfish. My kid likes to knock and get a person, so c'mon you can take turns helicopter parenting your child and instagraming them at every door and man your damn door. It's a one parent job.

Honest question. Do your kids go to every single door?? I thought it was an indicator that if porch light is on = handing out candy, porch light off = no one home/not handing out candy. If lights are off we automatically skip the house that way the kids aren't bummed out that no one answered.

TheTamedShrew

calikat80 said:

Ive said this before but parents that both go trick or treating with their kid/kids and leave their door unattended for other kids are selfish. My kid likes to knock and get a person, so c'mon you can take turns helicopter parenting your child and instagraming them at every door and man your damn door. It's a one parent job.

This didn't even occur to me, but you have a point. However, we are ToTing in a neighborhood 20 minutes away so that E can ToT with her cousins. Neither one of us are willing to sit at home and pass out candy and miss out on a family GTG. I think you are referring to people ToTing in their own neighborhood though.

riansmommie

That makes sense @CL8badB‌ I didn't even think about that.

riansmommie

CL8badB said:

riansmommie said:

That makes sense @CL8badB‌ I didn't even think about that.

I could be totally wrong but that just where my mind went!

But if the kids are still getting candy does it really matter if a person is handing it to them?

Meh, I could totally be over thinking this I'm just honestly confused at why one parent should be at home to pass out candy.

daffy2k

That's where my mind went too @CL8badB‌ . I don't know, @riansmommie‌ , I think picking your own candy out of a bunch of bowls and not having actual people there to ToT to sort of defeats the purpose. It's not all about the candy, but the experience kwim?

needanustart

daffy2k said:

That's where my mind went too @CL8badB‌ . I don't know, @riansmommie‌ , I think picking your own candy out of a bunch of bowls and not having actual people there to ToT to sort of defeats the purpose. It's not all about the candy, but the experience kwim?

This is exactly it. Its all of our neighbors with kids around the same age as G and they leave out a bowl. So i stay home for your kid to make it enjoyable, but you dont do the same for the sake of the neighborhood. G loves getting a human answer the door so he can yell trick or treat. And so do the kids with both parents with them. So if we all did that, we'd have a bunch of kids just walking up to bowls in silence. I think people just dont consider this and i wanted to point it out, and its actually fun to see everyone else dressed up too, ya know?

megaroo64

I agree @calikat80‌ ! And even as a kid, I liked having a human there to comment on my costume- that I usually worked pretty hard on. The parents in our neighborhood almost all split it up- one 1/2 with one parent, 1/2 with the other. That's what we will do when b is older as well. (This year, my H is just taking him the whole time since he will only hit about 5 houses).

needanustart

Also part of it is kind of me being an old lady and thinking "kids these days!" Because seriously, do any of you guys remember both of your parents taking you around? I just find it a bit hovery. Obviously if you are going to an event or another neighborhood i get both parents going.

WasNotWas

But @calikat80‌ we have a family costume actually, what we do is the immediate neighbors together and then split off.

But, question, there is no sidewalk on our side of the road and we have a crazy long driveway (and crazy loud dogs) so we set up at the end of our driveway and hand out candy. Does that ruin ToTing? (I don't teally know how that acronym works)

needanustart

@WasNotWas‌ every neighborhood is different, and i will never really understand Florida! but honestly i just bring it up to more notice how your neighborhood works, because i think people just dont think about it. If you have peers splitting up the family to stay home to hand out candy to your kids i think its nice to be neighborly and do the same for all the kids of the community. And most of the parent sin our hood arent in family costumes, they just have a beer in a koozie and ate pulling a wagon.
Also my mom always dressed up to hand out candy so i think its fun for an adult to answer the door in costume too- kids LOVE that!

WasNotWas

Honestly @calikat80‌ that's one thing I hate about our house, it's not ToT friendly. My dad would dress up in full make up every year to answer the door!! But mine is a house you'd skip as a kid because it's a corner lot on a culdesac, so you'd just move on...that's why I need the good stuff too @CL8badB‌

dmlk413

How is it selfish for two parents to want to enjoy ToT with their kid? It sounds pretty entitled to expect that one parent be waiting at home to give your kid free candy if that parent really would rather be with their kid. I don't see it as helicopter parenting at all (and I'm usually the first person to say when something is helicopter parenting because I hate that sh*t).

needanustart

dmlk413 said:

How is it selfish for two parents to want to enjoy ToT with their kid? It sounds pretty entitled to expect that one parent be waiting at home to give your kid free candy if that parent really would rather be with their kid. I don't see it as helicopter parenting at all (and I'm usually the first person to say when something is helicopter parenting because I hate that sh*t).

How is it not more entitled in a neighborhood with mostly small kids to presume both parents should go out to watch their kid and not have anyone answer the door for other kids? Kids arent looking behind them to see their parents watching them knock on a door. They are waiting for some strange adult who hasnt seen their costume to open the door so they can yell "trick or treat." Since Halloween is definitely for the kids, i take the stance that it should be something you make fun for all the kids.

needanustart

@heelibrarian‌ my inlaws have offered before to hand out candy and i may take them up some time. But honestly i'm the claire dunphy of halloween. My house is all decorated and i just switched out the black lights and set up the speakers. I love watching kids come up the walk and be all excited for halloween! Also G is a brutal trick or treater- he wants maximum strange adult conversation and tries to engage the door opener for way too long. The parent on duty has to usually pull him away gently and tell a 3 year old "i dont think mr. ----- wants to hear any more jokes." So dh is definitely on duty as i have to do that every other hour of the day when im with G.

The Honest Toddler just wrote that kids love halloween because "begging a stranger for desserts is on every toddler's vision board." So true!