Grieving while pregnant

faraos0329

My 6 yr old passed away on the 6th of Sep, 2 wks later i find out im pregnant. I had also suffered a mc earlier in July. Im so confused and overwhelmed. Im not taking any of my depression/anxiety meds trying to keep the baby as safe as possible but ITS SOO HARD! I miss my baby and cant imagine ever loving anybody as much as him but i know this baby is the only thing keeping me alive right now. My sons bday is coming up as well as all this damn holidays... I think i might go crazy! Anyone dealing with depression/anxiety while pregnant?

starkbaby22

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry your son passed away! I have anxiety/depression but have bad reactions to medications so I don't take any- sorry I'm not really any help. God bless you & take care of yourself for your little one!

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TeacherMama7

So sorry for your loss! That would be so difficult. Are you seeing a counselor to help with your grief? Even a weekly meeting to talk about your feelings will probably help you feel a lot better and release some of that stress. I will be keeping you in my prayers!

kmhb2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have much experience with this so I'm sorry if I'm not much help, but I do know some friends who dealt with anxiety and depression while pregnant and I believe they were able to take something that was safe. I couldn't even imagine all of the emotions you're feeling, but it might be worth it to ask.

jetreyes

So so sorry for your loss. My five year old daughter passed away almost a year ago and I'm now pregnant as well. I've also decided not to take any anti anxiety or depression meds to keep the baby safe. With the one year and holidays coming up it does make it so hard! I'll be praying for you! I know its so hard but you'll make it through!!

BostonGayGal

I can't even begin to imagine that pain. I am so sorry. Definitely talk to your doctor because there may be meds that could help.

2junebabies

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. Is there anyone professional you can talk to in order to grieve? You will be in my thoughts and prayers as well.

heatsand

I'm so sorry for your loss . I hope that someone here has some
Great advice for you

HawaiianSunset09

Oh my heart is just breaking for you. I can't imagine that depth of pain. I miscarried twins in August and I've been really struggling between being happy with this pregnancy and guilty because I know I wouldn't have this baby if I hadn't of lost them. Not even on the same level of grief, but I've thought a grief counselor would help. Big big hugs and lots of prayers.

Mama-Bear

There are no words.  I can't imagine the pain of losing your child.  I'm so sorry that any parent has to experience this.  Many prayers your way.

opheliacantswim

There are no words for how sorry I am.  I will be thinking of you, and I hope that you find peace and comfort. 

spidermonkeymomma

I'm so sorry to hear that and can't imagine the range of emotions you must be feeling. The Loss Board may be a good support for you as well https://forums.thebump.com/categories/loss

mamahawk12

I am so incredibly sorry - I cannot fathom the heartache. I have two friends who have dealt with the loss of a child followed by an immediate pregnancy; they are the strongest, most brave women I know. I hope this child is able to fill some of the void for you. 

kckov

I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you and your family. Sending many prayers your way

MamaK818

I'm so so sorry for your loss.  Let me start with, I do NOT understand your pain... I can't even imagine.  I will say that I lost my 5 year old nephew almost 2 years ago, 2 days after I found out I was pregnant with my son.  It's impossible to know what to feel... it is still not easy some times today.  My SIL has had her rainbow baby (this past May) and I know only part of her pain and struggle.  I have heard her say before that it's ok to feel in a daze, and it's ok to feel a wall between you and everyone else. I agree with everyone else that you should find someone to talk to when you need to talk or sit and cry with when you need to do that or even be busy with when you need to be busy.  Can you talk to your OB (or a psychiatrist) about some safe options to manage your symptoms while you're pregnant?  My niece has kept my SIL going and been such a huge blessing in the midst of their pain.  I hope this baby can be the same for you.  So many T&P your way.

taisree

I'm very very sorry.

I lost my first born son at 2 months old last January. Now I am pregnant again... It is his birthday next month, and I can relate to not feeling the holiday season. My hubby wants us to ignore Xmas all together.

But we are pregnant which is wonderful and I'm so thankful. If I were not pregnant and had to face his bday and Xmas I'd lose it for sure.

When I first lost my son I tried therapy and I don't like it. The best thing I did was talk to people who went through exactly what I did, we talked everyday at first and now we talk less as the pain is better.

It will get easier. Again I'm sorry I don't think there is anything worse than losing a child.

EricaD777

Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry. I agree with the others in having somebody to talk to. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Apollo11235

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I second PPs' suggestions of finding a therapist and/or support group that works for you. You should also talk to your doctor about safer medications/doses if you're having trouble going without. What your baby needs most is a healthy mother, so the benefits may outweigh the risks.

wynnemac

I am so very sorry. I lost my dad during my pregnancy with my son so I know what hormones can do to already volatile emotions, but I cannot imagine the loss if a child. My heart goes out to you. Please, if you need help don't hesitate to reach out on here or another board. You are not alone and people do care.

DahliaFlower

I am extremely sorry for your terrible loss and the difficult situation you are in of grieving while pregnant.  I am familiar with grief, having lost our first child to congenital heart disease, which was of course a very different situation than losing your 6 year old.  I did find a community support group somewhat helpful, but even more helpful was seeing a therapist who specializes in pregnancy and infant loss.  These sessions did so much to facilitate healing and keeping my sanity when it felt like the whole world had come crashing down around me.  Your situation is rather complicated and unusual, you might really do well to seek out the care of an experienced professional.  I wish you the best.  

tahitiandreamin

I am so sorry for your loss.  This is something that no parent should ever have to go through.  I  agree with all of the pp who have suggested seeing a therapist.  There is such a huge range of emotions and hormones during pregnancy as it is.  Going through such intense grieving at the same time must be unimaginably tough.  I really do wish you all the hugs, and support that can come through on a board like this.

housewifebecomesher

I can't even imagine what you have been through. I know on my last BMB there were a few ladies that chose to continue their medication while working closely with their doctor. Healthy mama is the most important thing for healthy baby, IMO, and you should not feel guilty about that.

I will say that I'm happy you came to our group because I personally think the June board ladies are some of the best around. You will undoubtedly find some great support here. I also spent a considerable amount of time on the loss board after my m/c and I think you would find some great support there too!

willowprincess

I am so very sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through. I would definitely seek out a grief counselor. They may be able to help especially if you are not comfortable being on meds right now. We are all here for you if you need anything.