Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
Research it sometime. Like actually read what it takes. It is NOT an easy thing to fit into your life, and comes with a lot of problems like cracked or damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. Also, a large # of women physically can't do it. It's like anything else your body does: not necessarily on command for everyone.
Also, even if everything is dreamboat perfect for you, you have to lock yourself away for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours. A lot of people don't have time for that. A lot of times, it's a luxury to be able to breastfeed. People without luxuries shouldn't be ashamed about it.
I don't see any shaming of non BFing moms in here...? The only thing I saw was encouraging OP to try before she decided she didn't like it.
I found some of the posts leaning on the sanctimonious side. I also told OP to try. I believe everyone should give it their best shot, clearly since I did everything I could to make it work and did that for 6 months straight to just get 4 oz a day.
If you end up having a hard time BFing, you'll see why it is a really sensitive subject.
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
I recommend La Leche League's book and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (and Kellymom online). You should do your own research. You are not going to get what you need from an internet board. There is a lot of information to sift through and even then, it is hard to understand that even if you do try, it just might not happen for you. I bought everything I needed and was SO ready to go. I had read up on everything, been through a ton of websites, read multiple books, had all of the supplies, was pro extended BFing and then, wham, my milk never, ever came in. I ended up on medication I had to buy out of country in order to just produce 4 oz a day. I did that for six months, by pumping, because she never latched. She did end up comfort nursing for a few months, and that was nice.
But seriously, asking an internet forum to help you make this decision is impossible. I think every woman should try, I really do, but there is a lot to research and understand because everyone thinks the baby will be born, and you pop them on the boob and it just happens. This is SOOOOO not the case. And I'm not just saying that because I didn't have my milk come in, even women who have shit ton of milk have latch struggles, mastitis and other issues.
@FrecklesInside , love tit is just for agreement with everything you said! I am in awe of women that go through what you did to provide breast milk for their LOs. I nursed DD for about 21 months or so but I know I couldn't have made it that long if I had to deal with low supply, not responding to a pump etc etc..
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
I recommend La Leche League's book and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (and Kellymom online). You should do your own research. You are not going to get what you need from an internet board. There is a lot of information to sift through and even then, it is hard to understand that even if you do try, it just might not happen for you. I bought everything I needed and was SO ready to go. I had read up on everything, been through a ton of websites, read multiple books, had all of the supplies, was pro extended BFing and then, wham, my milk never, ever came in. I ended up on medication I had to buy out of country in order to just produce 4 oz a day. I did that for six months, by pumping, because she never latched. She did end up comfort nursing for a few months, and that was nice.
But seriously, asking an internet forum to help you make this decision is impossible. I think every woman should try, I really do, but there is a lot to research and understand because everyone thinks the baby will be born, and you pop them on the boob and it just happens. This is SOOOOO not the case. And I'm not just saying that because I didn't have my milk come in, even women who have shit ton of milk have latch struggles, mastitis and other issues.
I actually am doing my own research and my breastfeeding classes start in a few weeks. I am not using an Internet board to make any decisions. Like my post said, I was just curious as to people's personal reasons not to BF. I guess I just like reading about personal experiences. I understand the difficulties associated especially when getting back to work. I personally can take up to 6 months off work so I would like to try BF at least for that time period if possible. Most of the issues I have read about, it seems like you wouldn't know if it happens till you try (amount produced, cracked nipples, latching) So I was curious how some women just know that they wouldn't do it at all before the kid is born.
And thank you all for sharing your perspectives and reasons. Whatever you decide, it is always insightful to read personal stories.
@FrecklesInside, you don't like the comparison encouraging breastfeeding to your doctor encouraging you to stop smoking or avoid drugs or to encourage exercising, and think it is stoo extreme. Okay fine we can take it back to the origins of public health and nursing (RN not breastfeeding) and compare it to clean water, hand washing, sanitation and stopping spitting in public. All very personal lifestyle choices but that do have an impact on the general population.
The World Health Organization defines public health as the following:
Public health refers to all organized measures (whether public or private) to prevent disease, promote health, and prolong life among the population as a whole. Its activities aim to provide conditions in which people can be healthy and focus on entire populations, not on individual patients or diseases
Therefore, yes, initiatives to promote breastfeeding are a public health issue, and I will continue to say as such.
@FrecklesInside, you don't like the comparison encouraging breastfeeding to your doctor encouraging you to stop smoking or avoid drugs or to encourage exercising, and think it is stoo extreme. Okay fine we can take it back to the origins of public health and nursing (RN not breastfeeding) and compare it to clean water, hand washing, sanitation and stopping spitting in public. All very personal lifestyle choices but that do have an impact on the general population.
The World Health Organization defines public health as the following:
Public health refers to all organized measures (whether public or private) to prevent disease, promote health, and prolong life among the population as a whole. Its activities aim to provide conditions in which people can be healthy and focus on entire populations, not on individual patients or diseases
Therefore, yes, initiatives to promote breastfeeding are a public health issue, and I will continue to say as such.
Yeah, except formula feeding is also providing conditions in which people can be healthy, and your own definition states a focus on entire populations and not individuals. An individual's choice to formula feed or breastfeed is thus not a public health issue.
@FrecklesInside, you don't like the comparison encouraging breastfeeding to your doctor encouraging you to stop smoking or avoid drugs or to encourage exercising, and think it is stoo extreme. Okay fine we can take it back to the origins of public health and nursing (RN not breastfeeding) and compare it to clean water, hand washing, sanitation and stopping spitting in public. All very personal lifestyle choices but that do have an impact on the general population.
The World Health Organization defines public health as the following:
Public health refers to all organized measures (whether public or private) to prevent disease, promote health, and prolong life among the population as a whole. Its activities aim to provide conditions in which people can be healthy and focus on entire populations, not on individual patients or diseases
Therefore, yes, initiatives to promote breastfeeding are a public health issue, and I will continue to say as such.
Honest question: is there a particular reason you are so intensely focused on shaming thousands of women?
I mean this seriously. Every thread that has BF, you threaten, shame, and generally condescend about the subject. It's like you will go to any length to get other people to do what YOU want with thier breasts. If they say no, you threaten them with motherfucking cancer. If they seem hesitant, you shame them with 'public health' (which it isn't. Public health is my decision affecting my neighborhood/city/country).
It's seriously getting a little creepy and weird how obsessed you are with forcing other women to bend to your will. Formula feeding isn't the devil you seem to think it is. Thousands of perfectly healthy well adjusted adults have been raised on it. I personally was formula fed, and frankly, I resent the hell out of your implication that my mother fucked up in raising me, and/or will automatically die of breast cancer because she is a 'public health risk'. You can fuck right off with saying that shit about my mother.
Well this was an interesting read. I clicked on it hoping for bottle advice.... literally thought it said options not opinions. Damn. I was going for which bottles, sanitizing, etc. I'm attempting as a FTM to bf but want my SO to join in on feeding and I'm going to need bottles. I was not prepared for a bf vs ff debate turned shaming. Yup, I'm going back to bed it's too early to think clearly on my end apparently.
BFP - 6/28.....Unofficial(waiting on u/s) EDD - 3/9
July Siggy Challenge. Summer Fail. March 2015 Group
Well this was an interesting read. I clicked on it hoping for bottle advice.... literally thought it said options not opinions. Damn. I was going for which bottles, sanitizing, etc. I'm attempting as a FTM to bf but want my SO to join in on feeding and I'm going to need bottles. I was not prepared for a bf vs ff debate turned shaming. Yup, I'm going back to bed it's too early to think clearly on my end apparently.
When my son would use bottles in the beginning we loved breast flow bottles. I credit them for helping teach him to latch. We also liked Tommie tippee. I was a tester for the medela calma bottles with my first and hated them. The nipple was massive and hard.
@transplantedhawkeye I find it really fucking ridiculous that you gear your public health post towards me, a person who has extensively explained my bfing journey. You don't seem to be getting where I'm coming from with this issue. Stop spewing your hatred. You are not helping or supporting women in making the decision to BF, you are dragging them down and shaming them for their choices. As for me, you continue to shame me for what wasn't my choice. Oh and, I DID BF for SIX months. It was 4 oz a fucking day, but that's what I could do, even with help from medication. I WANTED to BF for two years, at least, but I did what I could.
Why are you fucking targeting me? Because I'm supporting women in the decisions they make as long as they have done their research and are well educated in the subject? Because I think your views are too harsh and dramatic and don't consider the fact that I have an incredibly advanced and bright toddler who mostly had formula? Because I disagree that my INABILITY to BF is a public health risk? Have you read the incredibly personal and passionate poem I shared with this board explaining the raw emotions I dealt with over my BFing journey? Stop talking to me about this issue if you are going to continue to be so dense as to not see or understand my POV and experiences.
@transplantedhawkeye are you going to just hide, or are you going to explain to me why you called my mother a fucking public health risk?
ETA: for anyone confused, the last I checked she is in fact not Ebola, or Godzilla.
Am I also a public health risk since I was not breastfed and am now a drain on public health resources by my very existence? I NEED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD BE MILKING (lols) THE SYSTEM!!!
Obviously you need to be quarantined... your aura is not nipply enough. IT'S NOT SAFE!!!
***quote***
Quick Maui, let's make a deadly formula fed Toaster sandwich. *smothers Toaster*
@transplantedhawkeye are you going to just hide, or are you going to explain to me why you called my mother a fucking public health risk?
ETA: for anyone confused, the last I checked she is in fact not Ebola, or Godzilla.
Am I also a public health risk since I was not breastfed and am now a drain on public health resources by my very existence? I NEED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD BE MILKING (lols) THE SYSTEM!!!
Obviously you need to be quarantined... your aura is not nipply enough. IT'S NOT SAFE!!!
***quote***
Quick Maui, let's make a deadly formula fed Toaster sandwich. *smothers Toaster*
We all know for a fact that Maui was googling sexy blue foxes today and I'm thinking that alone makes her a threat...
What ever you do make sure you are happy with it but be open to what life throws at you. With my first, my milk never came in so I had no choice but to FF. With #2 it came in (with LOTS of help from lactation). Now expecting #3 I'm hoping to BF but who knows what will/won't happen. Oh and both of our families are anti BFing-- my mom wouldn't sit with us in church when we came to visit them because I didn't pack a bottle!! Yes I had a cover & no, he slept all of church. ☺️
Igenerelli People will continue to give you their opinion regardless of whether you ask for it or not. If you are confident in the direction you want to take, then shut it down. I'm a stranger, and I, too, want to give you my opinion. It's human nature.
To answer your question, yes, it's super annoying when people tell you what you should do. It's also super annoying when they walk up to you and try to touch your stomach. Or insist you not use a crib because it stifles creativity--which recently happened to me.
Shut. It. Down.
Have a good one!
Sorry this is off topic, but when I read this all I thought about was
BFP #1 1/4/14 | Diagnosed with Trisomy 13 at 12 weeks 3/6/14 | MMC 3/21/14 | D&C 3/24/14
BFP #2 7/1/14 | DS born March 2015 BFP#3 5/22/17 | MC 6/17/17 at 7w3d
@lgenerelli Everyone was supportive (of making your own choice), and @frecklesinside said give it a try, she said what she wasn't going to bother typing was why she felt that way and you took that as a personal attack? I agree with some PPs that it seemed you just wanted to hear people say "OMG, I know right! that's so annoying". Well nothing on here is one sided so yes you're going to get encouraged to think it over. If you don't want to BF then don't, and tell anyone who asks it's none of their business. But I don't see why you're getting huffy about an honest dialogue.
I just think it's hilarious that @transplantedhawkeye thinks she can creep around here and we will forget and wander away. Not gonna happen chica. You are on a post it now, and every time you post, all people will see is someone who was cowardly after saying some really fucked up shit.
I fb the first 2 times and may not this time around. I got mastitis so many times with both boys- it was awful. With my second I just stopped cold turkey bc I had mastitis for the 4th time in a row.
My aunt was never able to have kids. She got diagnosed with breast cancer this year- and of course it's one if the types that bf can help prevent.
But what was she supposed to do? She couldn't use the magical solution anyways.
Ugh, what a fucking kick in the pants. I'm really sorry to hear that. Infertility just fucking sucks, and for its repercussions to keep reaching her in this way.... It's just not fair. I hope it's a treatable kind and she makes a full recovery.
The AAP does say it's a public health issue. I think they are extrapolating the known health benefits of BF for mom & baby to a population level. The choices I make feeding my baby don't affect anyone but my baby, but I guess the thinking is -- if everyone BF's, maybe we'll see a 5% reduction in obesity/SIDS/etc in our population (<-- made up examples). I understand why "public health" is a controversial label, but I think the idea is to help engage healthcare/insurance providers, workplaces, etc. in supporting BFing. There are a lot of systemic reasons why BFing is a luxury, and why many women don't even want to try BFing, and our country as a whole could do a lot to improve the environment surrounding this issue. Too many women who want to BF stop (or don't try) because it's just too fucking hard for one reason or another -- now imagine if we had a huge chunk of paid maternity leave, enforced pumping allowances or mandated in-office daycare, and affordable/insurance-accepting LC's on every corner? (<-- total pipe dreams) I mean -- it would be amaaazzziingg! So many more women could BF, and BF longer! If it's seen as a "choice", no one will put those kind of resources to supporting those who choose to BF. If it's a public health issue, it might get more support. I'm all over the place here, but bottom line -- if it's a "public health" issue, it demands public solutions.
Bringing BF issues into the public health realm should be a TOOL to increase support of women who make the CHOICE to do it (and yes, hopefully influence more women to freely make that choice, as BF barriers are reduced). Badgering women with the public health card, equating FF with smog, smoking, ebola, etc. -- that is all just truly inappropriate. Insinuating that FFing is a "lifestyle choice" glosses over the complexities & is truly guilt-inducing -- doesn't help ANYONE. It's not a "lifestyle choice" for the vast majority of women (you all gave excellent examples of this above), and even if it is, so damn what, as long as baby gets fed. We all have the freedom to make choices for ourselves and our children -- and that should be respected, first and foremost. If a public health initiative seeks to reduce barriers and offer support to women who want to BF (e.g. BF support and education meetings at a local community center), awesome. I don't think it has to be mutually exclusive -- it can be a woman's choice AND a public health issue. In public campaigns (and individual interactions), though, I do think it's very important to keep guilt tripping OUT of the messaging. The LC's at my old job would talk about "risks of FF" instead of "benefits of BF" -- just, no. The issue is too complex. No mother needs to be guilt-tripped for providing safe nutrition for her baby.
I spent like 3 hours typing this. It totally doesn't show. Meh.
Is anyone else horrified that she's an LC? The last thing I need is a political activist who is intent on shaming to tell me in a vulnerable moment that if I don't end up being able to BF, I'm essentially the devil.
If I get one like that at the hospital, I will cuss her the fuck out and ban her from my room. I would rather go through the pain of figuring it out through YouTube rather than have some snotty bitch go all self-righteous on me when I'm vulnerable.
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
I recommend La Leche League's book and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (and Kellymom online). You should do your own research. You are not going to get what you need from an internet board. There is a lot of information to sift through and even then, it is hard to understand that even if you do try, it just might not happen for you. I bought everything I needed and was SO ready to go. I had read up on everything, been through a ton of websites, read multiple books, had all of the supplies, was pro extended BFing and then, wham, my milk never, ever came in. I ended up on medication I had to buy out of country in order to just produce 4 oz a day. I did that for six months, by pumping, because she never latched. She did end up comfort nursing for a few months, and that was nice.
But seriously, asking an internet forum to help you make this decision is impossible. I think every woman should try, I really do, but there is a lot to research and understand because everyone thinks the baby will be born, and you pop them on the boob and it just happens. This is SOOOOO not the case. And I'm not just saying that because I didn't have my milk come in, even women who have shit ton of milk have latch struggles, mastitis and other issues.
Great book suggestions! I had issues bf with my 1st (wouldn't nurse for 6 months) so I exclusively pumped for 6 months... then he just got it. My 2nd wouldn't take a bottle for 6 months, so I guess it evened out. I read both of these books and I can't recommend them enough for anyone who is even considering nursing. It really pays to be well informed.
I will say that I don't push my feelings on others, and I can totally understand choosing or needing to not bf. To each their own. But when people do so and site ill informed reasons (not saying anyone does that here), I do side eye. In fact, we were on vacation and a cousin and her mom both said that they ff because bf-ing moms are ignorant to the "advancement of science", and then said that "swaddled babies are like prisoners"... my husband had to whisper to me to calm down before the claws came out, lol! I wasn't really passionate/lactivistic (?) but ignorance seriously upsets me.
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
Research it sometime. Like actually read what it takes. It is NOT an easy thing to fit into your life, and comes with a lot of problems like cracked or damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. Also, a large # of women physically can't do it. It's like anything else your body does: not necessarily on command for everyone.
Also, even if everything is dreamboat perfect for you, you have to lock yourself away for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours. A lot of people don't have time for that. A lot of times, it's a luxury to be able to breastfeed. People without luxuries shouldn't be ashamed about it.
I totally get what you are saying here, but a few facts are wrong that may scare someone who's really wanting to breastfeed. For one your post makes it sound like ALL breastfeeding women experience cracked and damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. that's not true. Many do but not all. It's also a small percentage of women who can't physically breastfeed or produce milk, not a large number. Most women, should they chose to and if they are given the right support, will be able to physically do it, should they chose to.
And I guess I'm not sure why anyone would have to lock themselves away for 20-30 minutes every two hours? No one should make a breastfeeding mother feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in her own living room or anywhere in public. Breastfeeding SHOULDN'T be considered a luxury that only a select few can do. Any way a person can feed their baby should be respected and supported.
I know exactly what you were trying to say and why you said that, but I can see it being scary to a FTM. Breastfeeding is rarely a walk in the park, but it's also not always some horrible, painful, scary thing. If someone wants to try it, try it. If they don't, don't. As long as baby is fed and happy it shouldn't matter how they got that way and no one should shame, scare, or judge someone for their decision.
FWIW I was wanting to stop breastfeeding or at least use some formula with my son when he was 10 months because he was losing weight and I was losing supply because of my m/c. But he refused formula. We tried four types and he would go hours without eating until I gave in and fed him. So formula feeding isn't always a walk in the park, either, at least if not given from birth. Support needs to be offered on both side because that was a frustrating period of time for us and I didn't know who I could turn to for help. I felt bad for even considering formula while surrounded by friends who mostly did extending breeastfeeding, and probably failed at it as a result. I think the key is we all need to try to not be judgemental and support each other's lifestyles as long as, you know, we aren't boozing up our kids so they'll sleep while we have our buddy over for a threesome. That I think is OK to judge. :P
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
@transplantedhawkeye are you going to just hide, or are you going to explain to me why you called my mother a fucking public health risk?
ETA: for anyone confused, the last I checked she is in fact not Ebola, or Godzilla.
Am I also a public health risk since I was not breastfed and am now a drain on public health resources by my very existence? I NEED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD BE MILKING (lols) THE SYSTEM!!!
ALWAYS milk the system!!! I frequently use the fact that I was FF to explain things about myself. Failing my drivers test? Totes the formula! Genetic eye condition? Clearly caused by the formula (ignore the genetic part). Oh and I gained 50 lbs my last pregnancy and that was soooooo the formula's fault. Had absolutely nothing to do with all the food I ate and walks I meant to go on but never did. Seriously... If formula did everything people swear it does we'd all be screwed, and yet we all seem to function (mostly) normally....
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
@Etiolle, thanks. You are correct, I'm not a moron .
I hardly would have thought telling someone to research something would make me equated to 'scare tactics'. Reality is what it is. BFing isn't easy breezy, and IS a luxury to anyone who isn't interested in getting fired for flashing her tits at her coworkers.
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
Research it sometime. Like actually read what it takes. It is NOT an easy thing to fit into your life, and comes with a lot of problems like cracked or damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. Also, a large # of women physically can't do it. It's like anything else your body does: not necessarily on command for everyone.
Also, even if everything is dreamboat perfect for you, you have to lock yourself away for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours. A lot of people don't have time for that. A lot of times, it's a luxury to be able to breastfeed. People without luxuries shouldn't be ashamed about it.
And I guess I'm not sure why anyone would have to lock themselves away for 20-30 minutes every two hours? No one should make a breastfeeding mother feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in her own living room or anywhere in public. Breastfeeding SHOULDN'T be considered a luxury that only a select few can do. Any way a person can feed their baby should be respected and supported.
Because some of us work. And will be working full time within 6 weeks of the child being born. I will be locked away in a room for 20-30 minutes every few hours to pump. Then I will have to add the time to clean the damn thing, put it away and schlep back to my office. So I will be losing hours of productivity every single day. I'm not looking forward to making that up in the evenings and weekends so I likely won't be doing it for very long.
To pump at work is one thing, she was saying you'd be locking yourself away every 2 hours. By 6 weeks babies are going up to 4 hours between feeding and usually you can go that long between pumping, too. So that IS true, but not as "end of the world dire" as she made it sound.
And do you do computer work by chance? I used to bring my laptop with me and would work while I pumped so I wouldn't have to use my breaks to pump. A hand-free bra was the best investment I think I've ever made!! But that only works if you can do work from a laptop.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Hi I am new here so I don't mean to be disrespectful but as a FTM I am genuinely curious as to reasons not to BF. I mean what are the cons? I sort of took it as a given that I would try to BF or pump and only if there are any issues with how much milk is produced would supplement with formula. I am curious as to choosing other approaches now...
Research it sometime. Like actually read what it takes. It is NOT an easy thing to fit into your life, and comes with a lot of problems like cracked or damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. Also, a large # of women physically can't do it. It's like anything else your body does: not necessarily on command for everyone.
Also, even if everything is dreamboat perfect for you, you have to lock yourself away for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours. A lot of people don't have time for that. A lot of times, it's a luxury to be able to breastfeed. People without luxuries shouldn't be ashamed about it.
And I guess I'm not sure why anyone would have to lock themselves away for 20-30 minutes every two hours? No one should make a breastfeeding mother feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in her own living room or anywhere in public. Breastfeeding SHOULDN'T be considered a luxury that only a select few can do. Any way a person can feed their baby should be respected and supported.
Because some of us work. And will be working full time within 6 weeks of the child being born. I will be locked away in a room for 20-30 minutes every few hours to pump. Then I will have to add the time to clean the damn thing, put it away and schlep back to my office. So I will be losing hours of productivity every single day. I'm not looking forward to making that up in the evenings and weekends so I likely won't be doing it for very long.
To pump at work is one thing, she was saying you'd be locking yourself away every 2 hours. By 6 weeks babies are going up to 4 hours between feeding and usually you can go that long between pumping, too. So that IS true, but not as "end of the world dire" as she made it sound.
And do you do computer work by chance? I used to bring my laptop with me and would work while I pumped so I wouldn't have to use my breaks to pump. A hand-free bra was the best investment I think I've ever made!! But that only works if you can do work from a laptop.
***quote***
1). Wtf? End of the world dire? Are you high?
2) If you are going to attack me, have the balls to fucking talk to ME. Don't sit there and talk like I'm not in the 'room'.
Fuck it. I said I wasn't going to pile on but I am.
JCWhitey you are what like a photographer? Like I can't keep up but you have a combination of like 5 different part time jobs that no one is totally sure of (I think we've lost count) but shit is fucking different if you're actually in an office with a job for an entire day.
It's a commitment that is TAXING AS SHIT. Not that I'd expect you to have a whole bunch of empathy for folks not in your position (after all, labor isn't painful for you so it's not painful for anyone else amirite?) but it is a MAJOR drain after a while. I pumped 3x a day at work. It's part of the reason by month 8-9 I was just like jesus I am tired of lugging this pump I am tired of losing productivity I am tired of worrying about running from meetings scheduling lunch blocking off time.....
It's a production. Like you talk about not judging and seeking support but you are like one of the most judgey friggin people here. Attempt to have empathy for other people. I don't think @peledreamsofrain is a moron. I don't think she meant that breastfeeding necessarily comes with cracked nipples. She was giving examples of potential issues. She also didn't say a large percentage of women can't, she said a large number can't. Which contrary to your 'well you have your facts wrong' assertion - is actually correct. A LOT of women have issues breast feeding. If you had bothered to stick around on J13 and contribute (instead of deciding you were way too good for us) you would have seen that for yourself.
I also don't assume FTM's are morons. They are women who have signed up for childbirth and labor. I don't think cracked nipples are going to scare them off of BF'ing. Give people a little more credit. I think 99% of the population here, FTM's included, know what pele meant and weren't like "OH HOLY SHIT I AM SO SCURRED TO BF NOW."
Jesus tapdancing christ.
"The key is to not be judgmental" (paraphrase of you). What color is the flipping sky in your universe?
Um... when DS was born I was a pharmacy tech and full-time student in my last two semesters of college. I also volunteered as a photographer for a summer camp, but that was a summer thing only, not my full time job. Now I'm a early childhood and family development director which is a 40-50 hour a week job. I've also had to travel for school where I've had to pump 3-4 days worth of milk for my son before leaving, then pump while I'm gone and bring 60+ ounces of milk onto planes with me. So I love your implication that I have no idea what working mothers who breastfeed go through. I was just saying that it's not all doom and gloom and I don't personally see the point of saying only negative things to FTMs who are probably already stressed out about everything that's coming up. Especially with breastfeeding it's tough and the more encouragement the better.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Re: Nursing VS bottle feeding TOO many opinions help!!
Also, even if everything is dreamboat perfect for you, you have to lock yourself away for 20 to 30 minutes every two hours. A lot of people don't have time for that. A lot of times, it's a luxury to be able to breastfeed. People without luxuries shouldn't be ashamed about it.
I actually am doing my own research and my breastfeeding classes start in a few weeks. I am not using an Internet board to make any decisions. Like my post said, I was just curious as to people's personal reasons not to BF. I guess I just like reading about personal experiences. I understand the difficulties associated especially when getting back to work. I personally can take up to 6 months off work so I would like to try BF at least for that time period if possible. Most of the issues I have read about, it seems like you wouldn't know if it happens till you try (amount produced, cracked nipples, latching) So I was curious how some women just know that they wouldn't do it at all before the kid is born.
And thank you all for sharing your perspectives and reasons. Whatever you decide, it is always insightful to read personal stories.
MMC April 2014 at 6w2d, D&C at 9 weeks
MMC August 2014 at 9w1d, D&C at 12 weeks
CP October 2014
My Ovulation Chart
I mean this seriously. Every thread that has BF, you threaten, shame, and generally condescend about the subject. It's like you will go to any length to get other people to do what YOU want with thier breasts. If they say no, you threaten them with motherfucking cancer. If they seem hesitant, you shame them with 'public health' (which it isn't. Public health is my decision affecting my neighborhood/city/country).
It's seriously getting a little creepy and weird how obsessed you are with forcing other women to bend to your will. Formula feeding isn't the devil you seem to think it is. Thousands of perfectly healthy well adjusted adults have been raised on it. I personally was formula fed, and frankly, I resent the hell out of your implication that my mother fucked up in raising me, and/or will automatically die of breast cancer because she is a 'public health risk'. You can fuck right off with saying that shit about my mother.
July Siggy Challenge. Summer Fail. March 2015 Group
When my son would use bottles in the beginning we loved breast flow bottles. I credit them for helping teach him to latch. We also liked Tommie tippee. I was a tester for the medela calma bottles with my first and hated them. The nipple was massive and hard.
ETA: for anyone confused, the last I checked she is in fact not Ebola, or Godzilla.
Why are you fucking targeting me? Because I'm supporting women in the decisions they make as long as they have done their research and are well educated in the subject? Because I think your views are too harsh and dramatic and don't consider the fact that I have an incredibly advanced and bright toddler who mostly had formula? Because I disagree that my INABILITY to BF is a public health risk? Have you read the incredibly personal and passionate poem I shared with this board explaining the raw emotions I dealt with over my BFing journey? Stop talking to me about this issue if you are going to continue to be so dense as to not see or understand my POV and experiences.
You can seriously fuck off.
***quote***
Quick Maui, let's make a deadly formula fed Toaster sandwich. *smothers Toaster*
***quote***
Quick Maui, let's make a deadly formula fed Toaster sandwich. *smothers Toaster*
We all know for a fact that Maui was googling sexy blue foxes today and I'm thinking that alone makes her a threat...
BFP#3 5/22/17 | MC 6/17/17 at 7w3d
@lgenerelli Everyone was supportive (of making your own choice), and @frecklesinside said give it a try, she said what she wasn't going to bother typing was why she felt that way and you took that as a personal attack? I agree with some PPs that it seemed you just wanted to hear people say "OMG, I know right! that's so annoying". Well nothing on here is one sided so yes you're going to get encouraged to think it over. If you don't want to BF then don't, and tell anyone who asks it's none of their business. But I don't see why you're getting huffy about an honest dialogue.
If I get one like that at the hospital, I will cuss her the fuck out and ban her from my room. I would rather go through the pain of figuring it out through YouTube rather than have some snotty bitch go all self-righteous on me when I'm vulnerable.
Great book suggestions! I had issues bf with my 1st (wouldn't nurse for 6 months) so I exclusively pumped for 6 months... then he just got it. My 2nd wouldn't take a bottle for 6 months, so I guess it evened out. I read both of these books and I can't recommend them enough for anyone who is even considering nursing. It really pays to be well informed.
I will say that I don't push my feelings on others, and I can totally understand choosing or needing to not bf. To each their own. But when people do so and site ill informed reasons (not saying anyone does that here), I do side eye. In fact, we were on vacation and a cousin and her mom both said that they ff because bf-ing moms are ignorant to the "advancement of science", and then said that "swaddled babies are like prisoners"... my husband had to whisper to me to calm down before the claws came out, lol! I wasn't really passionate/lactivistic (?) but ignorance seriously upsets me.
I totally get what you are saying here, but a few facts are wrong that may scare someone who's really wanting to breastfeed. For one your post makes it sound like ALL breastfeeding women experience cracked and damaged nipples, yeast infections, etc. that's not true. Many do but not all. It's also a small percentage of women who can't physically breastfeed or produce milk, not a large number. Most women, should they chose to and if they are given the right support, will be able to physically do it, should they chose to.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I hardly would have thought telling someone to research something would make me equated to 'scare tactics'. Reality is what it is. BFing isn't easy breezy, and IS a luxury to anyone who isn't interested in getting fired for flashing her tits at her coworkers.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
To pump at work is one thing, she was saying you'd be locking yourself away every 2 hours. By 6 weeks babies are going up to 4 hours between feeding and usually you can go that long between pumping, too. So that IS true, but not as "end of the world dire" as she made it sound.
***quote***
1). Wtf? End of the world dire? Are you high?
2) If you are going to attack me, have the balls to fucking talk to ME. Don't sit there and talk like I'm not in the 'room'.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Eta damn phone